Post brief quotes from fiction/narrative/whatever

[Elendil's Heir]

Jayne: "See, I married me a powerful ugly creature."
Mal (in a dress): "How can you say that? How can you shame me in front of new people?"
Jayne: "If I could make you prettier I would!"

Firefly

[Jizzelbin]

"— Make it a sarpasilla.
[stony faced silence from bartender]
— Is this one of those really tough bars?
[bartender nods]
— Oh. Well let me have a large glass of warm gin served with a human hair in it."

— Rustlers' Rhapsody

[Elendil's Heir]

Mal: "You can't open the book of my life and jump in the middle. Like Woman, I am a mystery."

Firefly

[Jizzelbin]

"Even the most innocent thing said in Regina comes across wrong. Like, I can't ask, 'Hey, where can a guy eat out in Regina?'"

— Jim Gaffigan, Pale Horse

[Elendil's Heir]

Zoe: "Captain, everyone should have a chance to congratulate you on your day of bliss."
Mal: "There's no bliss. I don't know this girl!"

Firefly

[Jizzelbin]

"China deliberately manufactured the virus, and they spread it around the world. I don't think anybody was eating bats. Did you ever have a bat?"

— RG, in Borat Subsequent Moviefilm

[Elendil's Heir]

Jayne: "Then can I know her?"
Zoe: "Jayne! Don't sully this."
Mal: "You are going to be cleaning out latrines with your face if you don't cut that out."

Firefly

[Jizzelbin]

"A premium whiskey at the entry level of Irish Whiskey. The finish is light, but don’t let that fool you it lasts for a while. Starting off with butterscotch and fading fast, to be be replaced by toffee and oak."

— A review of "Slane Irish Whiskey."

[Jizzelbin]

"If you expect your comic disregard for your company has convinced anyone, you're very much mistaken. This was to have been corrected, by you or your team, today."

— <e-mail> from anon to anon

Yes, but then again Kilbeggan brings out the best in me.

I kind of liked the "comic disregard" bit, but, well, I was pretty drunk a few hours ago.

True quote, BTW. I somewhat don't think it was wise to say so, but I don't care anymore. It's not anything with forums, just RL quote in e-mail tag with some keyboard jockey at work.

[Elendil's Heir]

Kaylee: "Oh, sweetie, don't feel bad. He makes everybody cry. He's like a monster."
Mal: "I'm not a monster!"

Firefly

[Jizzelbin]

"You just contradicted me.
—No, I didn't.
Yes, you did.
—No, no, no.
You did just then.
—That's ludicrous.
Oh, this is futile.
—No, it isn't.
I came in here for a good argument.
—No, you didn't. You came in here for an argument.
Well, argument isn't the same as contradiction.
—Can be.
No, it can't."

— Monty Python

[Elendil's Heir]

Mal: "Someone ever tries to kill you, you try to kill 'em right back! Wife or no, you are no one's property to be tossed aside. You got the right same as anyone to live and try to kill people."

Firefly

[Jizzelbin]

"That little bastard shot me in the ass!"

— Blazing Saddles

[Elendil's Heir]

Book: "If you take sexual advantage of her, you're going to burn in a very special level of Hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater."

Firefly

[Jizzelbin]

"We call her a lobster: all the meat's in the tail."

— Mad Men, probably

[Elendil's Heir]

Zoe: "So… are you enjoying your own nubile little slave girl?"
Mal: "She wanted to make me dinner. Well, at least she's not cryin'."

Firefly

[Jizzelbin]

"You have offended my family and you have offended the Shaolin temple."

— Enter the Dragon

[Elendil's Heir]

Zoe: "Remember that sex we were planning to have, ever again?"

Firefly

[Jizzelbin]

"Stuffed them in an Energy Bar, keep me from getting strangled in the shower, or worse."

— Arrested Development