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27 Dec 2020 04:52 PM
#1701
Member
Jayne: "See, I married me a powerful ugly creature."
Mal (in a dress): "How can you say that? How can you shame me in front of new people?"
Jayne: "If I could make you prettier I would!"
Firefly
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27 Dec 2020 08:21 PM
#1702
Oliphaunt
"— Make it a sarpasilla.
[stony faced silence from bartender]
— Is this one of those really tough bars?
[bartender nods]
— Oh. Well let me have a large glass of warm gin served with a human hair in it."
— Rustlers' Rhapsody
Last edited by Jizzelbin; 27 Dec 2020 at 08:27 PM.
Reason: plural possessive
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31 Dec 2020 05:00 PM
#1703
Member
Mal: "You can't open the book of my life and jump in the middle. Like Woman, I am a mystery."
Firefly
-
31 Dec 2020 09:03 PM
#1704
Oliphaunt
"Even the most innocent thing said in Regina comes across wrong. Like, I can't ask, 'Hey, where can a guy eat out in Regina?'"
— Jim Gaffigan, Pale Horse
-
02 Jan 2021 12:45 AM
#1705
Member
Zoe: "Captain, everyone should have a chance to congratulate you on your day of bliss."
Mal: "There's no bliss. I don't know this girl!"
Firefly
-
02 Jan 2021 01:52 PM
#1706
Oliphaunt
"China deliberately manufactured the virus, and they spread it around the world. I don't think anybody was eating bats. Did you ever have a bat?"
— RG, in Borat Subsequent Moviefilm
-
03 Jan 2021 03:55 PM
#1707
Member
Jayne: "Then can I know her?"
Zoe: "Jayne! Don't sully this."
Mal: "You are going to be cleaning out latrines with your face if you don't cut that out."
Firefly
-
03 Jan 2021 04:38 PM
#1708
Oliphaunt
"A premium whiskey at the entry level of Irish Whiskey. The finish is light, but don’t let that fool you it lasts for a while. Starting off with butterscotch and fading fast, to be be replaced by toffee and oak."
— A review of "Slane Irish Whiskey."
-
06 Jan 2021 11:04 PM
#1709
Oliphaunt
"If you expect your comic disregard for your company has convinced anyone, you're very much mistaken. This was to have been corrected, by you or your team, today."
— <e-mail> from anon to anon
Yes, but then again Kilbeggan brings out the best in me.
I kind of liked the "comic disregard" bit, but, well, I was pretty drunk a few hours ago.
True quote, BTW. I somewhat don't think it was wise to say so, but I don't care anymore. It's not anything with forums, just RL quote in e-mail tag with some keyboard jockey at work.
-
08 Jan 2021 12:26 AM
#1710
Member
Kaylee: "Oh, sweetie, don't feel bad. He makes everybody cry. He's like a monster."
Mal: "I'm not a monster!"
Firefly
-
09 Jan 2021 12:02 AM
#1711
Oliphaunt
"You just contradicted me.
—No, I didn't.
Yes, you did.
—No, no, no.
You did just then.
—That's ludicrous.
Oh, this is futile.
—No, it isn't.
I came in here for a good argument.
—No, you didn't. You came in here for an argument.
Well, argument isn't the same as contradiction.
—Can be.
No, it can't."
— Monty Python
-
14 Jan 2021 09:43 AM
#1712
Member
Mal: "Someone ever tries to kill you, you try to kill 'em right back! Wife or no, you are no one's property to be tossed aside. You got the right same as anyone to live and try to kill people."
Firefly
-
14 Jan 2021 09:31 PM
#1713
Oliphaunt
"That little bastard shot me in the ass!"
— Blazing Saddles
Last edited by Jizzelbin; 14 Jan 2021 at 09:39 PM.
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16 Jan 2021 05:00 PM
#1714
Member
Book: "If you take sexual advantage of her, you're going to burn in a very special level of Hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater."
Firefly
-
16 Jan 2021 11:37 PM
#1715
Oliphaunt
"We call her a lobster: all the meat's in the tail."
— Mad Men, probably
-
18 Jan 2021 10:42 PM
#1716
Member
Zoe: "So… are you enjoying your own nubile little slave girl?"
Mal: "She wanted to make me dinner. Well, at least she's not cryin'."
Firefly
-
22 Jan 2021 03:40 PM
#1717
Oliphaunt
"You have offended my family and you have offended the Shaolin temple."
— Enter the Dragon
-
22 Jan 2021 10:42 PM
#1718
Member
Zoe: "Remember that sex we were planning to have, ever again?"
Firefly
-
23 Jan 2021 01:54 AM
#1719
Oliphaunt
"Stuffed them in an Energy Bar, keep me from getting strangled in the shower, or worse."
— Arrested Development
-
24 Jan 2021 04:27 PM
#1720
Member
Mal: "I would appreciate it if one person on this boat would not assume I'm an evil, lecherous hump."
Zoe: "No one's saying that, sir."
Wash: "Yeah, we're pretty much just giving each other significant glances and laughing incessantly."
Firefly
-
24 Jan 2021 08:24 PM
#1721
Oliphaunt
"You just won the gold medal at the sexual Special Olympics. She can't ever find you again. Don't you see that you're so lucky?"
— Arrested Development
-
26 Jan 2021 10:08 PM
#1722
Member
Wash: "Every planet has its own weird customs. About a year before we met, I spent six weeks on a moon where the principal form of recreation was juggling geese. My hand to God. Baby geese. Goslings. They were juggled."
Firefly
-
29 Jan 2021 08:52 PM
#1723
Oliphaunt
"I got nasty habits. I take tea at three. And the meat I eat for dinner, must be hung up for a week."
— Stones
-
31 Jan 2021 12:47 AM
#1724
Member
Jayne: "Six men came to kill me one time. The best of 'em carried this. It's a Callahan full-bore auto-lock. Customized trigger. Double cartridge thorough gauge. It is my very favorite gun... This is the best damn gun made by man. It has extreme sentimental value. It's miles more worthy'n what you got. [strokes it lovingly] I call it Vera."
Mal: "Well, my days of not taking you seriously are certainly comin' to a middle."
Firefly
-
31 Jan 2021 01:23 PM
#1725
Oliphaunt
"— Nice beaver!
— Thanks. I just had it stuffed."
— The Naked Gun
-
31 Jan 2021 07:42 PM
#1726
Member
Saffron: "But we've been wed. Aren't… we to become one flesh?"
Mal: "Well, no, uh… we're still two fleshes here, and... I think... that your flesh oughta… sleep somewhere else."
Firefly
-
31 Jan 2021 08:36 PM
#1727
Oliphaunt
"Kim: Scott, if your life had a face, I would punch it."
-- Scott Pilgrim vs. The World
-
01 Feb 2021 03:59 PM
#1728
Member
Saffron: "I do know my Bible, sir: 'On the night of their betrothal, the wife shall open to the man as the furrow to the plow, and he shall work in her, in and again, 'til she bring him to his fall, and rest him then upon the sweat of her breast.'"
Mal [openly staring]: "Whoa. Good Bible."
Firefly
-
02 Feb 2021 11:32 PM
#1729
Oliphaunt
"Hey you stupid shiteating little cocksucker. Why don't you ram a toilet plunger up your ass and jump on a trampoline. You should kill yourself. And learn to speak English, you retarded half breed."
— private correspondence to an unpleasant, anonymous text.
"In any case, of course, the enemy shall be felled quite accidentally as the flailing sword of truth decapitates them. Now—all nonsense aside—you know I have no enemies. Only discarded lovers—and they have their memories."
— Maila "Nurmi" (née Syrjäniemi) aka "Vampira," quoted from her niece, Sandra Niemi's recent biography, [u]Glamour Ghoul[/i]
Last edited by Jizzelbin; 03 Feb 2021 at 12:01 AM.
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03 Feb 2021 12:30 PM
#1730
Member
Saffron: "Do you know the myth of Earth-That-Was?"
Wash: "Not so much."
Saffron: "That when she was born, she had no sky, and was open, inviting. And the stars would rush into her, through the skin of her…"
Wash: "Huh."
Saffron: "...making the oceans boil with sensation. And when she could endure no more ecstasy, she puffed up her cheeks and blew out the sky."
Wash: "Whoa. Good myth."
Firefly
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04 Feb 2021 09:33 PM
#1731
Oliphaunt
"I think everybody should try [shrooms] once. They're incredible. Like I don't fully trust someone who's never tripped, it's like trusting someone who still has a hotmail account."
— Love s2e4
-
09 Feb 2021 11:52 PM
#1732
Member
Saffron: "Make this night what it should be. Please? Show me the stars."
Wash: "... I wish I was somebody else right now. Somebody not… married, not... madly in love with a beautiful woman who... can... kill me with her pinkie!"
Firefly
-
10 Feb 2021 12:42 AM
#1733
Oliphaunt
"À plus, David Hasselhoff! = "See you around, David Hasselhoff!:
— C'est qui, David Hosselhoff? == Who's that supposed to be, this David Hasselhoff?
— a silly French recent comedy, called *MILF*, which I don't need to translate (!!)
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12 Feb 2021 11:56 AM
#1734
Member
Saffron: "You're good."
Inara: "You're amazing. Who are you?"
Saffron: [sneers arrogantly] "Malcolm Reynolds's widow."
Firefly
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12 Feb 2021 03:31 PM
#1735
Oliphaunt
"Jeff: Hey Troy sneezes like a girl!
Troy: How about I pound you like a boy...that didn't come out right."
— Community season.1
-
15 Feb 2021 02:38 PM
#1736
Member
Zoe: "If she can fly this thing, why just take the shuttle?"
Wash: "Maybe she likes shuttles. [Everyone stares at him.] Some people juggle geese!"
Firefly
-
15 Feb 2021 09:19 PM
#1737
Oliphaunt
"Britta: Jeff needs a girl who doesn't just not wear underwear because Oprah told her it would spice things up. He needs a girl who doesn't wear underwear because she hasn't done laundry in three weeks. He's been to flavor country now."
Community s2(?)
-
17 Feb 2021 01:38 PM
#1738
Member
Jayne: "That's why I never kiss 'em on the mouth."
Firefly
-
17 Feb 2021 03:05 PM
#1739
Oliphaunt
"For every Action, there is a Jackson"
— unkn., probably related to the "classic" "movie" Action Jackson
-
18 Feb 2021 01:19 PM
#1740
Member
Mal: "But she was naked! And all... articulate!"
Firefly
-
19 Feb 2021 03:17 PM
#1741
Oliphaunt
"Hell-Cat Maggie was a well known criminal in Manhattan's Five Points district and a member of the notorious Dead Rabbits gang. She was a fierce street fighter and actually filed her teeth and nails into points to better shred her opponents' skin."
— copy from the back label of a bottle of Hell-Cat Maggie Irish whiskey.
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24 Feb 2021 09:56 PM
#1742
Member
Jayne (to his rifle): "See, Vera? Dress yourself up, you get taken out somewhere fun."
Firefly
-
25 Feb 2021 09:47 PM
#1743
Oliphaunt
"Can you help me? I'm looking for the barn. Do you know where it is? Do you read me, Miss Piggy? Oink oink!"
— Let Go old dude named Artie (played by Ed Asner) accosting a lady on a city street.
-
26 Feb 2021 11:57 AM
#1744
Member
Wash: "Captain, don't you know kissin' girls makes you sleepy?"
Mal: "Sometimes, I just can't help myself."
Firefly
-
26 Feb 2021 12:33 PM
#1745
Oliphaunt
"Potter: George, I am an old man, and most people hate me, but I don't like them either, so that makes it all even."
— It's a Wonderful Life
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26 Feb 2021 01:58 PM
#1746
Member
Saffron: "You gonna kill me?"
Mal: "Can you conjure up a terribly compelling reason for me not to?"
Saffron: "I didn't kill you."
Mal: "You handed me and my crew over to those that would kill us. That buys you nothing."
Firefly
-
04 Mar 2021 04:38 PM
#1747
Oliphaunt
"Now choke yourself. Goddamn it, with my hand, numb-nuts. Don't pull my fucking hand over there. I said, choke yourself. Now lean forward and choke yourself."
— some movie (pro-tip: every Marine I've ever met knows every line of this movie: hell, they like you, and they'll let you come over to their house and fuck their sister anytime! True fact!)
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04 Mar 2021 09:29 PM
#1748
Member
Full Metal Jacket, I think.
Mal: "Why the act? All the seduction games, the dancin' around folk, there has to be an easier way to steal."
Saffron: "You're assuming the point is the paycheck."
Mal: "I'm not assuming anything at this point."
Firefly
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05 Mar 2021 02:57 AM
#1749
Oliphaunt
Of course FMJ!
"Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Didn't your parents have any children that lived?
Leonard Lawrence: Sir, yes sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: I bet they regret that!"
— movie
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05 Mar 2021 04:57 PM
#1750
Member
Saffron: "You're quite a man, Malcolm Reynolds. [seductively] I've been waiting a long time for someone good enough to take me down."
Mal: "Saffron, you even think about playing me again I will riddle you with holes."
Firefly
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