Yeah, so there's Trojan Man, but he doesn't really exist.
Mainly, I was housesitting for a day or so far in the 'burbs, next to a middle school/junior high/whatever you call it.
Fucking kids and their stupid outside shit. What is that, like recess or something? Every fucking few hours?
You can indeed play a game without shrieking constantly.
It's called golf.
Play it, you fucking cretins.