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Thread: I think I might have a Trojan...

  1. #1
    Mi parolas esperanton malbone Trojan Man's avatar
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    Default I think I might have a Trojan...

    What can I use to get rid of it???

  2. #2
    Administrator CatInASuit's avatar
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    Try these

    Trendmicro Housecall
    Malwarebytes

    Make sure your A-V is up to date and see if it will run a boot scan after startup which may help to detect it if it is there.
    In the land of the blind, the one-arm man is king.

  3. #3
    Mi parolas esperanton malbone Trojan Man's avatar
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    I tried MWB several times and it's not doing anything. And what is a boot startup?

  4. #4
    Mi parolas esperanton malbone Trojan Man's avatar
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    ...and I can't click on the Trendmicro one because it has a virusy hyperlinky thing on it. FML.

  5. #5
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    So you've got step one: use some anti-virus software (use them all, it won't hurt). Well, step zero should be back-up everything you want to keep.

    Because the next step, when you reboot and find problem is still there, is to open the registry editor and manually search by name for the thing you want to kill and delete every occurrence.

    This has a good chance of killing your operating system if you're not very careful, but it's the only way to really be sure.

    eta How do you know it's a trojan? That sounds unlikely -- probably just some bit of malware from unsafe browsing practices. Does this thing have a name or what else do you know for sure?

    etta the least hassle for you is going to be to reinstall Windows, from scratch. If you have the license/product key, this shouldn't be that bad. But make sure it's a full reinstallation. And stop hitting all the porn sites.
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 18 May 2015 at 07:31 AM.

  6. #6
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by spitz View post
    And what is a boot startup?
    Don't be daft. It means the program "starts up" at "boot."

    Among the good suggestions already given, add to your list: Regcleaner (or a similar product), and Revo Uninstaller (use the full uninstall if you can see a program you don't want on your computer).

    And to reiterate, back everything up. Malware gets its hooks deep in the guts of your computer, so removing it needs to be at least as strong. Which means you may well end up bricking the operating system.

    Also, read a book or something -- computer is bad for the eyes.

  7. #7
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Spitz just wants a convenient excuse to stop posting here. "My computer were broken!"

    Homey don't play that! Drink some cement and man up! As long as your data is backed up, you can power through some minor malware stuff. Browser hijack? Just go to the registry, search and delete "Candy Crush Saga" or whatever.

    Colt 45. It works every time.

  8. #8
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    And google is your friend.

  9. #9
    Member Elendil's Heir's avatar
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    If you don't want to use a particular brand of condom you don't have to - but you should discuss it with your sex partner, in any event.

  10. #10
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    There's also a cream for it. See your local pharmacist.

    Also, if spitz is man enough: http://sannabremo.se/nyquist/industrial/
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 18 May 2015 at 12:27 PM.

  11. #11
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Spitz is a man's man -- he put his hand into some cement and felt another hand.

    He put his hand in a Trojan and found some lady's foot.

  12. #12
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    I think spitz is dead. He used an elastoman-strength trojan and strangled himself.

  13. #13
    Mi parolas esperanton malbone Trojan Man's avatar
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    Well I'm glad my computer issues are so entertaining for you.

    I thought maybe it was a Trojan coz someone (probably a cunny funt like yourself) suggested it sounded like one. I tried FF last night, and there were no issues. So I'm guessing it's some very stubborn adware in Chrome browser. I've tried a few programs to try to remove it, but it won't budge.

  14. #14
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by spitz View post
    So I'm guessing it's some very stubborn adware in Chrome browser. I've tried a few programs to try to remove it, but it won't budge.
    Yeah, those are a hassle. You've got to "go deep" to get rid of them, as indicated above.

  15. #15
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    There is hope, though -- I got rid of one of those on my dad's desktop computer maybe six months ago (he tried the usual tools, from what I could see, and failed -- I did what I described, just for fun since I was using his computer for something. probably printing something out over at his house). It was some browser thing that had a distinctive name, and it spread to all the browsers and was persistent.

    The nice thing about wiping registry entries on someone else's computer is that (a) it usually works (b) most people don't have the balls to do it and (c) they're quietly grateful when that pest they've been trying so hard to get rid of for months is finally gone.

  16. #16
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by spitz View post
    Well I'm glad my computer issues are so entertaining for you.
    He started it. So, is there an update? Like i said, it's a tough nut to crack, but it can be done. You have to accept that you might have to restore all of your files, but this can be done, for sure, if you're willing to accept the risk.

  17. #17
    Mi parolas esperanton malbone Trojan Man's avatar
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    I was lead to a program that removed the problem (turns out it was a basic adware thing in Chrome).

  18. #18
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Good. Yeah, there's probably a bunch of specialized tools for well-known culprits. But you have to know which one!

    I dub thee "Trojan Man."

  19. #19
    Mi parolas esperanton malbone Trojan Man's avatar
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  20. #20
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Trojan Man!!!!!

  21. #21
    Member Elendil's Heir's avatar
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    TROJAN MAN!

  22. #22
    Mi parolas esperanton malbone Trojan Man's avatar
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    TROJAN MAN!

  23. #23
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    You should make a T-shirt. Face it -- it's your new name.

  24. #24
    Mi parolas esperanton malbone Trojan Man's avatar
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    Trojan Man does not make t-shirts. Trojan Man has t-shirts made up for him!

  25. #25
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Oh, look at who's too big a man to take a Sharpie, scrawl "Trojan Man!!!" on an undershirt, and wear it around town.

    La-di-dah.

  26. #26
    Mi parolas esperanton malbone Trojan Man's avatar
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    Trojan Man doesn't settle for cheap imitations. Trojan Man demands a properly stencilled t-shirt!

  27. #27
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    But my way is totally punk rock!

    fine, have the shirt made -- but you have to wear it!

    Would Superman go out flying around without his cape?

  28. #28
    Mi parolas esperanton malbone Trojan Man's avatar
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    Exactly. I'm disappointed someone hasn't made them by now...

  29. #29
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    So, is it going to be Booger or Jack Burton?

    It's all in the reflexes, baby.

  30. #30
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    trojan kid.

  31. #31
    Mi parolas esperanton malbone Trojan Man's avatar
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    Very good, KTG (knit tie geezer).

  32. #32
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Knit Tie THIS, mofo!

  33. #33
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Jizzelbin View post
    Would Superman go out flying around without his cape?
    Any self-respecting man-about-town must wear a cape and pretend to be a superhero.

    Shit. I think I might have cracked up.

    But still, I'm RIGHT, dammit.

  34. #34
    Member Elendil's Heir's avatar
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    No capes!:

  35. #35
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    See? Your lame jiving didn't scar EH one bit, Trojan Man! He's come back for payback!

    Wear the cape! Wear the cape-shirt! Do it now, Trojan Boy!

  36. #36
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    TROJAN KID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  37. #37
    Mi parolas esperanton malbone Trojan Man's avatar
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    Hey, read the username, motherfucker.

  38. #38
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    But all I see is Trojan Kid.

  39. #39
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    OTOH, you get points for being probably certifiably insane, spitzer.

  40. #40
    Mi parolas esperanton malbone Trojan Man's avatar
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    ''Probably''??? ::twitch twitch::

  41. #41
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Trojan Lad! Trojan Kid! Does everything that a spitzer did

  42. #42
    Mi parolas esperanton malbone Trojan Man's avatar
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    You're really starting to get on my omnibus.

  43. #43
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Omnibus, omnibus, does everything that an omnibus can. See him run, see him jump.

    You don't know what omnibus means! My fist is getting rigid, just like when I see an omnibus.

  44. #44
    Mi parolas esperanton malbone Trojan Man's avatar
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    I can imagine your poor English teacher, curled up in a foetal position, swaying back and forward, regretting the effort they put into trying to explain something to you. You could at least visit him/her, you louse.

  45. #45
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Trojan Spaz!

  46. #46
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    I don't speak English, you spaz! And why would I go visit some elderly English nerd? Help him close his robe?

  47. #47
    Mi parolas esperanton malbone Trojan Man's avatar
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    You'd probably open the robe and back yourself in.

  48. #48
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    yeah you wish.

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