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Thread: Clothing advice thread for non-tools

  1. #101
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Hi Dad! Is Mom with you?

  2. #102
    Mi parolas esperanton malbone Trojan Man's avatar
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  3. #103
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    That is fucking nasty.

    Make it stop!

  4. #104
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  5. #105
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  6. #106
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    Oh, you are fucking dead, spitz. I'm going to beat your ass until it sings.

  7. #107
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    Quote Originally posted by spitz View post
    And black is the most versatile colour for shoes etc.
    You might be right -- probably are.

    I think they look a little silly with more casual pants, but it could be pulled off.

    If you haven't guessed, I don't like putting much effort into "pulling off" a "look" or "assembling" an "outfit." I just want to grab something out of the closet/pantry/floor and be awesome and head out the door strutting with some barbecue, macking like a boss, pimping like a mofo.

  8. #108
    Mi parolas esperanton malbone Trojan Man's avatar
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    That's why I told you black is most versatile. It goes with anything. If you buy brown/grey belt/shoes/whatever, it takes more effort to look sharp. Actually you're more likely to look like Kramer. Giddy up!

  9. #109
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    Gratuitous 1990s reference! You are an old man!

    And I don't resemble a hipster doofus!

    Grey belt? Why would I have a grey belt? OTOH my black belt is starting to fall apart -- not to mention the self-punctured holes I've never been happy with (although, I guess it works).

    You ozzies probably wear big cowboy belts all the time, with the buckles to prove it.

    eta I'm much happier now that I started wearing a belt all the time. It's a hassle to change pants -- you've got to rethread the belt. But nice to know I can rip it off and start smacking. How else am I going to tame that bewitching little filly from logic class? She likes it -- I can tell.
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 23 May 2015 at 05:46 PM.

  10. #110
    Mi parolas esperanton malbone Trojan Man's avatar
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    Only the cowcockies do that. I go for a belt that will just meet requirements.

    I just realised how old Seinfeld is now. It was so long ago....


    GET OFF MY LAWN!!!

  11. #111
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    Quote Originally posted by spitz View post
    GET OFF MY LAWN!!!
    Lawns are not friendly to the environment.

  12. #112
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    I think I might be horribly racist and sexist.

    I should acquire a wardrobe to match -- right down to the womb broom and the man-perm hair.

    eta "cowcockies"? Wow. You guys do enjoy your slang.
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 23 May 2015 at 05:52 PM.

  13. #113
    Mi parolas esperanton malbone Trojan Man's avatar
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    Bloody oath, mate. We're bang up for a bit of strine.

  14. #114
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    I bet a good impersonation of strine would go over pretty good in an ozzie bar, drunk at the middle of the night.

  15. #115
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    Bunch of tossers, not wearing cow cockie belts. Wankers!

  16. #116
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    Sure, you'd get a few free drinks if you could bung on a decent accent. If your accent was shit, we'd just laugh at you.

  17. #117
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    Quote Originally posted by spitz View post
    Sure, you'd get a few free drinks if you could bung on a decent accent. If your accent was shit, we'd just laugh at you.
    A few free drinks? Give me the bottle, then take me out hunting kangaroos! That's what I'd expect!

    That, or get into an awesome fistfight!

    Wow, you guys are pretty soft out there. "Laugh" at me? I'd expect at least a good fight.

    eta yes, I know getting hit in the face and breaking your knuckles hurts, as does being out of breath and almost having a heart attack after a few seconds of fighting. But still! This isn't the opera house! I demand excitement from my hard-drinking, tough-brawling, crude-talking ozzies! I can get in a fight any day any where in america -- I thought you guys were the new cowboys!
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 23 May 2015 at 07:13 PM.

  18. #118
    Mi parolas esperanton malbone Trojan Man's avatar
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    Oh you could get a fight pretty easily here, I think. Just be yourself!

  19. #119
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    Good! That's what I like to hear. After you've been drinking, and there's no sheilas in sight, what else is there to do? Tip cows, hunt kangaroos, or fight like an awesome!

  20. #120
    Mi parolas esperanton malbone Trojan Man's avatar
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    You can go looking for dropbears

  21. #121
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    Or play jazz on the village piano, but we can't all be Kenny G all the time. Or drunkenly call ex-girlfriends and insult them, but eventually, they change their numbers.

  22. #122
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    What in the hell is a "dropbear"? I'm guessing that's slang for something unsavory.

    ETA never mind. Unlike SOME people, I can use wikipedia. Eh, I don't like it -- not enough meat for me.
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 23 May 2015 at 07:24 PM.

  23. #123
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    Jizz, stop being such a prig!

  24. #124
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    Yeah, I got a prig right here.

    Where do you people come up with this "drop bear" stuff? It's pretty entertaining. Don't come to the US or a jackalope will get you!

    Actually, on a more serious note, coyotes are kind of getting upsetting around me over the past year or so. No, I'm not scared of them, but they make annoying noises at night, and they kind of skulk around (when you can see them) in little groups and have a funny walk -- almost like they're limping. True story.

  25. #125
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    Sounds like the dingo situation here. Except dingoes aren't ugly.

  26. #126
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    Did a dingo eat your drop bear?

  27. #127
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    Quote Originally posted by Elendil's Heir View post
    Did a dingo eat your drop bear?
    FINALLY THE TROOF EMERGES!!1!1!!

  28. #128
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    See? Look at that! Respect the EH! You ozzies got nothing on Yankee ingenuity!

  29. #129
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    Hey, I didn't call him a fruit or a weener, or a Hugh Grant fan. You were rougher on him than I was. Dirty Seppo.

  30. #130
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    Quote Originally posted by spitz View post
    Except dingoes aren't ugly.
    You've got to be taking the piss, right? I heard dingoes are pretty nasty creatures.

    Actually, I thought they were all killed off, pretty much.

    So, back on the clothing tip, I wonder why someone hasn't fashioned some kind of clothing out of their hides -- maybe a hat or something?

    And, what's the general idea behind using animal parts for clothing? Snake-skin, shark-skin, alligator-skin -- those kind of sound bad-ass. I don't think I can afford any of that right now, but sounds kind of .

    Naw, I'll stick with cow-hide and natural and unnatural fibers.

  31. #131
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    Quote Originally posted by spitz View post
    Hey, I didn't call him a fruit or a weener, or a Hugh Grant fan. You were rougher on him than I was. Dirty Seppo.
    Oh, that's it, spitz! You're gonna get a beating!

  32. #132
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    Dingoes aren't so bad. We have much worse than dingoes. They are in plague proportions. We have to cull them occassionally.

    I doubt knit ties could be made from animal hide. And if they could, they shouldn't be.

  33. #133
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    Ey, you can only beat one thing, and that prolly wouldn't take much.

  34. #134
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    Quote Originally posted by spitz View post
    Dingoes aren't so bad. We have much worse than dingoes. They are in plague proportions. We have to cull them occassionally.
    So, really? You think dingoes are like fluffy Pomeranian dogs?

    Is that true?

    (as an aside, a relative shared on FB a picture of a 2.5 year old Doberman -- it's kind of cute, actually, and I don't like pet dogs much).

    Yes, I heard that "knit tie" remark. Bill Murray wore one in *Ghostbusters*!

    Still, a hat similar to a Daniel Boon raccoon hat would be pretty cool. I wouldn't like to be responsible for taking the life of a good dingo, but maybe roadkill or something.

  35. #135
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    Dingoes are somewhere between the stupidly wild extremes of coyote and pomeranian...

    Bill Murray used to beat his wife, and cheat on her. I don't see him as a role model.

    Croc and roo skins are popular here. I guess your favourite is (not making this up) a purse made from kangaroo scrotum.

  36. #136
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    Well, I don't usually wear a purse, but that does sound attractive. Maybe a gift for my mother or sister -- holy shit! Logic lady needs one!

    It's like the door-button test from *Bronx Tale* -- if she doesn't run away or hit me, she's a keeper!

    I don't know about Bill Murray beating his wife! Cheating, I can believe, but it's a man's world. Anyway, he's not a role model for me -- just a prominent celebrity.

  37. #137
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    ''I got you a purse. It's made from kangaroo scrotum. Enjoy!''

    ''Oh wow, it's lovely thank you so much ''

  38. #138
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    Wait, about the "run away or hit me".......that doesn't sound exactly like.....oh, hell with it, she can keep up. OR, I will gentlemanly refuse to chase her with my alligator scrotum offering.

  39. #139
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    Quote Originally posted by spitz View post
    ''I got you a purse. It's made from kangaroo scrotum. Enjoy!''

    ''Oh wow, it's lovely thank you so much ''
    Exactly! Then she'd pretty much HAVE to say "yes."

  40. #140
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    Quote Originally posted by spitz View post
    ''I got you a purse. It's made from kangaroo scrotum. Enjoy!''
    And she may not appreciate that I call her "logic lady," unless she's a big *Twin Peaks* fan.

  41. #141
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    Quote Originally posted by Jizzelbin View post
    (as an aside, a relative shared on FB a picture of a 2.5 year old Doberman -- it's kind of cute, actually, and I don't like pet dogs much).
    Supposed too be MONTHs old dog. What do they feed these things? I think she breeds Dobies, like as a hobby or something. Anyway, not too sure who she is -- just she has my same last name.

    Fucking cool.

    No, I don't hate dogs -- I just don't like the owners, generally.

    Dingoes seem pretty cool, actually. I don't want to hurt them.

    So what do some people keep them as pets, like in the outback and stuff?
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 24 May 2015 at 01:36 AM.

  42. #142
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    I've got it all planned out. Wear a knit tie, a shirt without any holes in it, a nice blazer, and just some pants without any holes in it, some loafers, and totally accost Logic Girl during seminar.

    She's going to be my future bride!

    And also the kangaroo scrotum "offering."

    This is going to be great!

    She just doesn't know it yet.

  43. #143
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    And, no, I don't need to man up -- I know what I'm doing!

  44. #144
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    OTOH, if she shows up with some creep boyfriend, I'm going to fight.

    But I'm still wearing my knit tie -- I think it will look snazzy.

  45. #145
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    Quote Originally posted by Jizzelbin View post
    Anyway, not too sure who she is -- just she has my same last name.
    That's not true -- I've met her and I know she's related to me. I just don't remember everybody's exact names.

  46. #146
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    I am going to rock this woman's world! This is going to be great for her. Also, she is going to cream herself listening to me play Brahms for her -- after having showed her my private library.

    Oh, man, she is not going to regret this.

  47. #147
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    I dug out from my closet a few short-sleeved shirts from when I lived "back east." Vaguely floral-print shirts.

    They wear kind of cool in hot weather, from the wearer's perspective.

    However, I think they make me look like a bum.

    These are shirts with no holes in them, no torn hems, clean, and with attractive patterns.

    And they also don't show the sweat-stains, that I can see.

    But, still.

    It seems like only hobos, surfers, and musicians wear this kind of shirt.

    So what am I supposed to wear instead in hot weather? T-shirts get soaked. Athletic synthetic 'performance' shirts are fine, but they get ratty after you use them for their intended purpose for a few-hundred miles. Dress shirts are kind of ridiculous.

  48. #148
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    All right you Kansas City faggots, I pulled the trigger on this suit. Cheap as hell, but apparently JosABank is not doing their sale on "Executive" model navy blazers. They want almost two hundred clams for the same blazer I ordered two of a few months ago, and had to return because they screwed up, for less than half the price.

    I guess 40L is good enough -- I assume the trousers aren't finished, so I'll either tack up the hems myself or go to a real tailor.

    I'm extremely worried this is going to not only (a) look cheap (which it is!) but (b) the jacket won't pass for a real blazer for more casual wear.

    You Philadelphia lawyers wouldn't be caught dead in a suit like this, but what about for a guy like me, just for the odd job interview and all that?

    It can't be THAT bad, can it?
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 20 Jun 2015 at 09:34 PM.

  49. #149
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    and, yes, butthurt brigade, 'kansas city faggots' is a quote from a movie. it's called "scilicet" -- look it up.

  50. #150
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    I have a for-tools-only question:

    I've never ordered any "fitted" clothes like a suit online -- I found a cheap navy suit, which turned out to be either mislabelled or just plain the wrong size.

    The last suit I bought was in a store, and they just took my measurements and did stuff to the suit and I came back in a few days and it was great.

    But what's the deal with the typical unfinished slacks of a suit? I know all about the hems and in a pinch could tack them up myself for a cheap thrill.

    But the waist? I don't think I've seen advertised online the waist size of the pants.

    I know a tailor can do all that, fix the waist, but that's far beyond my abilities, except insofar as I have trust in my belt.

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