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Thread: Clothing advice thread for non-tools

  1. #1
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Default Clothing advice thread for non-tools

    I've decided to augment the correct use of an umbrella, in rainy weather, with some sort of hat. I'm not going to wear a fedora, nor anything that looks too-outdoorsy...when I go hiking, I use my own gear, which is not, IMO, appropriate gear for a city.

    Also, I need some non-athletic shoes or boots that I can wear with casual wear, like sportcoat/slacks/overcoat. Not sure about just getting regular athletic-shoe types in black or brown uppers, even though I have a source for those i certainly could procure and would be OK from a distance.

    The only criterion for the latter is that they can be worn for 6-7 miles a day, just through the city, even with wool socks, without getting blisters, like my regular dress shoes.

    I still will never understand how detectives/cops in the movie go on these epic foot-chases wearing wingtips and shit.

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    OK, so I got a nice, regular raincoat with an awesome removable liner suitable for wearing over a suit or sportcoat.

    New black dress shirt -- maybe a little gangsterish, but I like black, and my two other ones are broken.

    Navy blazer in the mail now.

    Screw the rain hat -- I'll just use an umbrella.

    Doc Marten "Chelsea Boot" in brown leather.

    About these latter -- fuck me in the ass, I've only gone maybe five miles in them, and I have blisters you would not believe.

    The chickie at the store made a point of saying -- "we have thirty day return, so just hang on to your receipt." I don't think the soles are too scuffed, and that I can meticulously clean them to like-new condition, I am pretty sure.

    Is it worth the trouble to try to do an exchange for a different model of walking shoe? I'd be a little sheepish, but I can always have some liquid courage and grow some balls.

    I've never returned shoes, but she did make a point of stating their liberal policy, and obviously, I can't be having blisters on my feet.

    OTOH maybe I'll get some callouses eventually.

    OTOH I've never had blisters -- when I go out and pump out 20-30 miles on the trails, I wear trail runners (essentially sneakers), on the advice of long-distance backpackers with a lightweight (if not ultralight) ethos.
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 06 Feb 2015 at 12:47 PM.

  3. #3
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Why not test if chickie was telling the truth about the return? Life is too short to have sore feet any more than you have to. (I've reached the age where every day starts with sore feet, I sure wouldn't want blisters, too.)

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    Yeah, I probably should -- it is kind of a hassle, but then again the Marten store is right on my commute, and if you don't ask, you don't get.

    Oh, here's a fucking winner. It turns out I accidentally ordered two identical blazers, and it appears they already shipped. So yet another hassle. Apparently there is a physical JosABank store where I can supposedly return the superfluous item, but it's way out in the burbs and kind of inconvenient to get to. Fuck. You'd really think somebody would have noticed I likely made a mistake or there was a computer glitch when the order went through.

    And to top it all off I still have to send back the Chromebook I bricked to have them wipe the drive and restore the boot sector.

    And I still want to send in a couple of busted Zippos for free repair.

    This is not my week for wasting a bunch of time on stupid errands.

  5. #5
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Some weeks are like that.

    Hell, some years are like that.

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    Quote Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday View post
    Hell, some years are like that.
    Well that is officially depressing as shit. Yeah, you are right -- sometimes chores are tough -- but I have a hard time conceiving of YEARS of unending little tasks. For some people, they have a way of complicating their lives, but I try to arrange things so I have a minimum of bullshit to deal with. Never volunteer for little tasks, always procrastinate annoying crap like vacuuming or dusting or cleaning the toilet (hey man I'm zen with shit-rings on my toilet -- if some guest doesn't like it, they can go fuck themselves with a loofah), only commit to things you want to do.

    I think Chuang-Tzu wrote something like "the hardest thing is knowing what you want"

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    Just how shitty DOES it look to wear sneakers with a sportcoat and/or raincoat? I just have it my head that it looks pretty sloppy, but maybe the times have changed. I'm not saying wear sneakers with a suit, just for knocking around town and stuff.

    I really enjoy walking, and don't feel good abusing my feet.

    OTOH, I really value just going with the flow and not abusing the visual flow of regular people.

  8. #8
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    I dunno, in my experience, unless you're doing something with a bona fide dress code, people don't pay much attention to shoes, especially on dudes. Sneakers are pretty common for most anybody anymore.

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    Well, sure people notice. And what is regular, casual, same-as-everybody-else streetwear but a dress code?

    I've had woman specifically comment on various shoes I've worn before, so it's a real thing.

    Dudes notice too -- I just don't think they give a shit, typically.

    I was ridiculed on FB for suggesting that nice, new, stylish hiking shoes could be a good compromise for wearing a sportcoat and raincoat around, especially in PNW.

    Fuck them, I think they're wrong.

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    I changed my mind. I already have dress shoes for if I need to go fancy. And for the same price as those Dr Marten foot-flayers I could buy a very nice pair of low-cut hiking shoes with a subdued appearance. Granted, most of my sneakers already have a subdued apearance, but it's the principle of the thing.

    So, I guess that's just going to be my thing, and if they don't like it, they can go eat a big bag of hipster bullshit.

    Nice thing is, this AM I got up my mettle to carefully inspect the tread of the horrible Chelsea Boots -- miraculously, after up to a half-dozen miles of pavement walking, there is not a scuff, a tobacco burn -- just a little shmutz I can wipe off with a rag. Apparently they have the technology.

    But I have the talent to get them to make good on their return policy. I don't even want to exchange at their store anyway. I'm going back to Merrill's.

    Unfortunately, it is a PITA to shlep their shopping bag/box down there.

    But nowhere NEAR the PITA it's going to be to return that navy blazer -- even if I can do it in person, it's a major hassle being anti-motoring-enthusiast to shlep out to the burbs.

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    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    suck my dick bitchez. i finally grabbed my balls together and wasted a shitload of time down at that ass-clown doc martens or whatever store.

    saved some money, and got a nice pair of leather loafers. the gaywad at the counter wasnt even too much of a dick -- he ran out to me when I forgot my coffee in the store. OTOH he did ask me if i'd worn my returned pair outside, so he can suck a ball sack for that,

    happy with these low-cut, nice leather loafer slip-ons. expensive, but you can all suck my ass -- at least my feet wont hurt.

    humorous -- i asked about a dozen randos around campus "how do you like my new shoes?" never heard a bad word. maybe they were scared of me but i don't think so!

    i rule!

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    my two duplicate JosABank coats came in two days ago. Not bad at all -- really nice material, buttons r not too ridiculous.

    fuck, I guess 41 fits my shoulders.

    now all i have to do is drop a few/twenty pounds to get a more trim fit about the midriff.

    nice sportcoat, however.

  13. #13
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    One step at a time...

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    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Is there any other way? That's the only way I ever heard of.

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    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Well there's getting ahead of yourself ... I assume that means jumping...

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    I don't jump -- that would hurt my feet or knees. Don't be ridiculous!

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    As an aspiring amateur boxer, maybe I *should* start using the jumping rope. fuck, couldn't hurt, amirite?

    A hundred pushups qd combined with some in-place cardio -- that sounds pretty good. Combined with some bare-knuckled sparring a few times a week (OK beer-drinking included) could be good!

    I like it!

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    WTF? Apparently a 41L (marginaly too big in the shoulders, but good for wearing a sweater underneath, so that's kewl) has sleeves that are fucking short and the overall length seems too short.

    There seems to be enough material in the sleeves that a tailor can fix it.

    Is it even fucking worth the trouble? It's a nice coat and the whole reason I bought it is so I can wear it.

    WTF!!!!! I don't know why these people can't just do their job -- I hate fixing stuff.

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    Fuck it. I already need a tailor to sew on my elbow patches, because my wimpy needle can't cut through tweed, and also lazy, but these sleeves are too fucking short.

    What do they not understand about the "L" size? I'm not Yao Ming -- not even all that tall. It's going back with their idiotic 2x order, and if they're lucky, I'll let them exchange it with a cheap navy suit with free alterations.

    Fuck JosABank(s?).

    Pain in my fucking ass (not my regular one, mind you).

    Bunch of bitches.

    OTOH, test drove my new Doc Martens or whatever loafers -- I bet the leather in the heels will soften up, as will I bet it would suck to walk a mere dozen miles in these, but the soles are pretty good. Did a few sprints on pavement -- it was like the detective movies. Sticky soles.

    Couldn't wear them to dancing school because of the soles, but fuck dancing. Good enough for not looking like just bumming around town -- a real up-and-comer!

    Yeah, that's a phrase I got off somebody trying to tout his apartment building many years ago -- "thick concrete walls, built in 1907, good for up-and-comers!" Gotta love Italian-Americans.

  20. #20
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Well that was kind of a sexy lady about my age behind the counter at JosABank -- first customer of the day. No, she wasn't like a stripper, just like a friendly, regular looking woman with a regular looking physique and well-dressed, natch. My kind of people.

    She grabbed the dupe jacket and that was fine, held up the other one and immediately said "that's not a long! mislabelled!"

    We had some fun chit-chat (my name is similar to a judge her father plays golf with), and she revealed that elbow patches are "coming back!" and I expressed my amazement that she was able to see at a glance the size of the coat.

    I have a rule not to ask out service people -- I really do think that crosses the line, and I wouldn't like it if someone put me on the spot if I were in their shoes -- but I really would have liked her phone number. I could sext the shit out of that bitch any day of the week. eta well, fine, if that offends you, i apologize out of respect for this place -- in my defense the phrasing is appropriately ironic and so just deal with it.

    So, anyway, got that chore done -- WTF it takes 3-5 biz days for the refund to show up on my card? I'm almost totally broke and I wole have chese and whete!
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 01 Mar 2015 at 02:47 PM.

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    Oh, here's one -- she suggested an extra-long, "I didn't even know there was an extra long" --"Oh yes! What are you, six-four?" "Well, six three, six four somewhere in there." Dude she knows how to stroke a guy's ego! I bet she can stroke a lot. My kind of gal! Seriously, if you saw her on the street, you'd think "lady lawyer." But more importantly, she was friendly, socially correct, appeared intelligent, well-spoken. That just makes my day having a horrible chore turn into a fun little light-hearted exchange.

    Bear in mind I hadn't shaved in two days, was clearly hung-over, and only moderately-well-dressed -- nice sweater, decent shoes, grimy khakis, raincoat (which I think looks sharp, even though it's not raining today) with all kinds of half-burned tobacco in the pocket, greasy hair with only a cursory combing, some BO, didn't have time to brush my teeth this AM, BUT I was extremely polite and well-spoken -- not fancy, just my regular way of being light-hearted, articulate, and polite. Maybe that's my default to flirt with all the gals, but at least I'm damned good at it.

  22. #22
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Real contrast between her and the pipe store jerk,is what you're saying?

  23. #23
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    Night and Day. Tits and Balls.

    No, she was yet again someone who knew the shit out of her craft, and was courteous and even eager to engage in pleasantries (not that that matters, but it's still a nice trick). eta, you know -- people who can make other people laugh or feel good via pleasant chit-chat -- well, that's my kind of people. I guess it *is* a trick, of sorts, but it's a nice trick and it kind of separates those those who annoy from those whose company you enjoy.

    That's why I like life -- observing how people get along. Obviously i have my own preferences, but it's pretty damned fun seeing everything out there -- and I've been around the block, but still, it doesn't get old to me.
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 01 Mar 2015 at 04:35 PM.

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    All right, let's talk sunhats.

    My finances are dwindling, but I'll be very VERY upset with myself if I don't forgo getting a box of wine in favor of a hat I can wear in the sun. I dislike sunscreen -- it's messy, and I'm skeptical that it's anywhere half as correct as just covering up.

    Take elite ultra-lightweight long-distinct thru-hiker Ray Jardine -- he actually made his own little gloves exclusively for use in the sun to protect his hands. And I'd just as soon wear pants and maybe short-sleeve, I can deal with some deep bronzing on the arms.

    However, I do not want to age myself prematurely and end up looking like Quint from *Jaws* by the time I'm 40.

    Yes, on 15-20 mile walks through the sun, with no shade, I have used a Lawrence of Arabia type thing, just a towel wrapped around my head.

    Ball caps are no good -- my hat size is 7 3/4, or, maybe 7 5/8. No regular ball-cap at some store, unless they're specially made for freaks.

    Gotta keep ALL sun off my face -- it's just not an option having a lobster-red face all summer.

    Also not an option is looking ridiculous -- I'm not wearing a fedora, a coolie-hat, or a sombrero. OK I did used to have a straw fedora that I guess was OK, but something I can just roll up and pop in my man purse when I go inside would be OK. And, no a real "Panama" hat you can supposedly fold into a little square is out of my budget. I don't want to spend any amount of money beyond something that works and doesn't make me look like a fucking asshole.
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 02 Mar 2015 at 06:00 PM.

  25. #25
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Man if Panama hats and baseball caps are out of contention I really don't know what there is. Most of the other contenders do look fairly silly it's true. Are you sure you can't rock a Fedora?

  26. #26
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    Quote Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday View post
    Man if Panama hats and baseball caps are out of contention I really don't know what there is. Most of the other contenders do look fairly silly it's true. Are you sure you can't rock a Fedora?
    A felt fedora in the middle of the summer?

    No.

    Even a straw hat shaped like a fedora is...not going to fit in with when I'm outside in the sun with wearing just regular shorts+t-shirt+sneakers. Not for me.

    Not fashion-forward, me, I prefer to be fashion-same-as-everybody else.

    I guess I could order a ballcap with the right size, and drape a handkerchief over my neck, desert-style, to avoid getting the redneck, BUT, ime, the brims of ballcaps don't cover the whole face, and definitely not the ears.

    I'm going to go to an army/surplus store and see what they got, I guess. PITA to get out there, but whatever.

    And yes I am right, sunscreen is great, but NOT EVERYTIME YOU LEAVE THE HOUSE TO SIT IN SUNLIGHT (for more than just getting from a-to-b, but actually being outside where there may be little natural shade) TO COAT YOUR ENTIRE FACE LIKE A CLOWN. I'm just not that talented. Seems easier and better to just cover up.

    ETA I should say I don't bother with legs and arms with sunscreen -- unless extreme circumstances -- they can get crispy all they want, but I don't want my face looking like a leathered prune.

    Yeah, a panama hat would be cool -- real ones are expensive though, and a regular straw hat, I can't shove in my back pocket or man purse without it getting all fucked up.
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 03 Mar 2015 at 03:46 PM.

  27. #27
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    Well no thanks to you buttholes, I pulled the trigger on http://www.villagehatshop.com/produc...eball-cap.html --

    they *claim* fits up to 7+3/4, but I bet the crown is going to be too tiny.

    However, the bill is supposedly pretty long, so I can just deal with having my head crammed into a tiny space, so long as it keeps that damned sun off my face.

    Mind you, I actually tan pretty well about the legs and arms -- it's just I really don't want my face to be wrinkled unless I'm a shark-fisherman and it's my livelihood and I have no choice.

    I went with the color "Navy" -- seems less hit-mannish than black, but still sounds cool.

    Also pretty cheap, with free shipping.

    I just hope I don't have to return it because of their ineptitudinal sizing schemata.

  28. #28
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Nu? Opinions?

  29. #29
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Well, it's a look. Myself, I don't care for that long a bill, but everybody's built different eh?

  30. #30
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    Yeah, I re-inspected the specs -- the bill is only 5 inches long, so I think they took the picture using one of those tricks.

    Years ago I did special-order a ball cap built for giant heads, and it was OK. It was black, so it looked ratty from sun-bleach-effect after not too long. Of course I lost it, and now my only concern is not slathering my entire face in sunscreen like Al Jolson.

    We'll see when it gets here. I have no doubt the "cap" part will be too short for my head, however much I can extend the circumference.

  31. #31
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    what you people sound like.

    Some butthole friend suggested I take these tips.

    I politely said, "fuck you."

  32. #32
    Member Elendil's Heir's avatar
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    Hemingway was known for his long-billed baseball caps: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com...3f8cb2452f.jpg

  33. #33
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    Well, I guess Hemingway was a person! lol

    Well thanks for putting *that* into my head that I'm copying some old fart journalist!

    Here's some more:

    (i) I'm liking these Doc Marten (sp?) slip-on leather casual shoes. I've been more than a few miles in them and seems fine. But the fucking SOLES! They're so thick and spongy, I think after a few hundred miles of walking on pavement they're just going to be eaten away. I don't like it.

    (ii) i feel a little self-conscious (meaning: i like to do the same thing everybody does, and don't like to stand out in a crowd) wearing my raincoat on a cold weather. I have other coats, but if it's a bit nippy in the morning (like 28 deg Farenheit), it's a little better to my way of thinking to wear a coat that has a little better coverage. AND it does a good job of stopping the wind chill.

    (iii) should I drop a Jackson at Costco for a nice pair of jeans? I have all the docker-type pants I need, just wondering if it's worth the trouble.

    Obviously, I don't know a shit about fashion, but equi-obviously, I care a lot about looking the same as everybody else. So, you guys.

  34. #34
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Never hurts to have a good pair of jeans.

  35. #35
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    Meh, I don't know, since they'd just be for fashion (the few times I help out sister or mom with manual labor I have some ratty clothes to throw on), seems like a waste of time and money.

  36. #36
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    I like jeans, but I grew up at a time and in a place when they were probably more common.

  37. #37
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    hippie

    eta I guess I still have some black jeans (with a hole in the crotch, but with black shorts on, can't notice) and some blue jeans with a dime-sized hole near one of the front pockets.

    the tragedy is that my "stylish skateboarder" jeans are basically ripped to shit around the crotch -- cannot be worn. and my canvas work pants, same deal.

    Anyone else remember those catalogs where Chuck Norris posed for photos doing some crazy kung fu shit, like for jeans with reinforced crotches, and crazy-ass toe socks and nunchuks and shit?
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 07 Mar 2015 at 05:21 PM.

  38. #38
    Member Elendil's Heir's avatar
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    I can't believe I missed that!

    Wait, no… yes, I can believe it.

  39. #39
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    Those were in the early-1980s! They were awesome! Some white dude with a moustache doing a high-kick demonstrating the strength and flexibility of some kung-fu jeans with reinforced crotch! And turn the page and he's dressed like a ninja with those little toe-shoes!

    That guy was awesome!

  40. #40
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    HEY! So here's a real clothing thing -- has anyone actually got a needle and thread to hand-repair some jeans?

    I replaced a button on a leather jacket a few years ago, and it took forever and broke a few needles.

    I'm REALLY not looking forward to paying the Vietnamese lady $25 to sew on elbow patches on my beloved tweed, ("You already ask me! I say twenty-five dollar!" -- she's kind of aggressive), but if it can be done on denim, with a high-test needle, I can do it on tweed myself. ETA natch I'd tape some corrugated cardboard around my fingers. My momma didn't raise no fools! Well, maybe me, but I have a sibling!

    Of course, I'd have to make myself a pitcher of gin gimlets to get through the tedium, but TBH I'd probably do that anyway.
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 07 Mar 2015 at 06:05 PM.

  41. #41
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    By that second sentence, I was not asking for someone to send me a needle -- and I have plenty of thread -- just, like has anyone actually got it to work (with a heavier-gauge needle, seems to be the way).

    I mean, the people at the dry cleaners can do it, so it should be possible, and I doubt they invested in a serger (it's the kind of sewing machine they use to make jeans and stuff -- I think it has kind of a fish-hook-shaped needle or something) just for the odd customer who wanders in.

    Cucumber water for customers only!

  42. #42
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    Wrong person to ask, dude. If the dry cleaner won't do it, the clothes go to Goodwill. I admire your industriousness.

  43. #43
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    What???? All it needs is ONE elbow patch! (And, some rando told me you gotta do both just for symmetry)! Plus, It'll look cool! Plus, the lady at JosABank said elbow patches were coming back in! Of course the dry cleaners will do it -- I just don't want to pay them what they want for it.

    Hey, my hat came in! That bill is NOT 5" long -- it does look more like the picture. But still it doesn't look too strange. And the crown, while marginally too small, actually fits pretty well. I should have gone with black rather than navy, but who cares, as long as it keeps the damned sun off my face.

  44. #44
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    http://imgur.com/6F9N4na

    See? Not too bad -- I just have to avoid wearing it too often so people don't think I'm Ron Howard-style bald trying to cover up.

  45. #45
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Yeah, that looks OK. But yeah, guys trying to hide bald-spot would also try to grab that look.

  46. #46
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    That's what I said! The ball cap is the refuge of the hairless!

    Well, whatever I still like it.

    And TBH, my hair has been falling out in clumps since I have more stress in my life. I asked my internist if that was "a thing," and he said, "yep!" At least I don't have male-pattern or premature-graying, so I'm pretty confident. I do have a long-term strategy to start dyeing my hair when my graying eyebrows start migrating north -- hey, I'm extremely vain and I just can't be having gray hair at the stage in my life I'm starting a new career.

    Also, I probably comb my hair too much -- to compensate, I barely ever bathe (but am perfectly groomed, fingernails, nosehairs, whatever). So that minimizes the damage, I feel. Also, shut up you h8rz! People should bathe when they stink, and wear clean clothes.

  47. #47
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    IS IT BETTER TO:

    give a ballcap the old "redneck roll," or give it a sharp crease right down the middle, like Quint had in *Jaws*?

    Not asking for me -- I already went "crease" because then it's easy to cram it into my man-purse. Plus Quint was awesome. As was Robert Shaw. Just in general, I want to poll the crowd like Oprah or one of those reality shows.

  48. #48
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    My own background is more inclined towards doing things the redneck way.

  49. #49
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    Well, I don't know that the redneck roll is any less redneck than just making a sharp crease in the middle of the brim. Quint wasn't exactly a college boy.

    "heh, city hands, Hooper, not for sharking! ok bring him along as ballast, captain, chief, mate. Hooper drives the boat."
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 14 Mar 2015 at 07:35 PM.

  50. #50
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    This is too funny, because I did this two days ago, and only just now recognized the comedy in what I had done.

    I DID measure the brim of my cap, and it WAS five inches. Almost exactly, maybe a little longer (not joking -- I used my "Rulers of The Art World" illustrated wooden ruler, and it couldn't possibly be inaccurate. no, pedants, I used the word I intended to use, you fucking dumbass cunt: i.e., NOT imprecise)

    And I DID say to myself, "it sure looked longer than that in the picture"


    That is a true story.

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