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Thread: The omnibus "casual encounters" IRL thread

  1. #1
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Default The omnibus "casual encounters" IRL thread

    So, yeah, like that's a weird thread title, but I guess it does the job.

    Anyway, so I was reminded again last...Thursday? or something, of the oddness of certain encounters IRL.

    So, I'll start, so here's the deal: so I was coming back from work about 2pm and, as is my wont, installed myself at my clubhouse on the porch, with a big can of high-ABV beer, my corncob pipe, and started surfing -- it's my club, I'm a member, so damned if I'm going to waste my shekels surfing at home like a plebe.

    So yadda yadda a few of the usual log ladies and exercise nuts come through, as they will, and after about an hour, my office manager, Jeff, pops open the sliding glass door and starts rambling about "only in the pacific northwest can you sit outside in December, get wifi, and have clear skies!" and some differently-abled anecdote about his "sixty-something friend who used to be in the NBA who turned his house into a B&B" and blah blah. So when there was a lull in his gladhanding, I said to him, "that's a really nice sportcoat!" leaned in closer, said "oh, brushed cotton!" beautiful! he said something about my Halston tweed jacket.

    OK, obviously, one of the elephants expressed concern about the scary bob sitting on the porch smoking a pipe and drinking beer at like two in the afternoon, so he'd check out if I was shitfaced or whatever. Whatever, he knows me.

    But then he comes back out carrying his jacket inside-out about ten minutes later and says, "see? banana republic." I say, "yeah! that's a really nice liner they put in. beautiful coat." I point out the rip in the elbow of my favorite tweed and I say "man, i should really get some antelope suede patches and do it up right!" guffaws all around.

    He says, "you should go down to [local chain of hobbyist stores for like crafts and shit] and get some material, then take it to a tailor and have them sew it on!"

    Not a bad idea, actually. I'd had my eye on some patches from amazon sellers with pre-punched holes I could just tack on if I got drunk/bored enough to bother sewing, but I forgot some chinese or other southeast asian or east european (see? SEE? I'm being so good!) tailor can do that for me for a nominal fee.

    Yadda yadda.

    So after a while, he's back in his office, and I'm done doing whatever on the internet -- probably downloading something or posting some bullshit @ u mugs -- and I pass by his office (it's by the front door of my club, giant plexiglass sliding thing, glass door, front doors -- can't miss it).

    So, like he rushes out and gives me this scrap of 1/8th-inch pleather fabric and says "hey, something like this! i just had it around, and i'd never use it!"

    So to be polite I make a big deal out of it, and ask him again which tailor he uses.

    Anyway, for background, he's the new office manager of our HOA, for about three or four months, and from the git-go, as always, I introduced myself when I saw him and we exchanged pleasantries. He's probably about my age -- real professional-looking guy, seems to be up-to-speed, the board members I've talked to seem to like him well enough. So, not some complete nut.

    But, for some reason -- maybe I was one of the first people he met when he started after the last one left -- he really kind of thinks I'm one the only sane people in this 300+unit condo place.

    But, seriously. That is fucking weird, right?

    Also, here's another, about a month ago, I walked in and he comes out and says, "John, I want you to see!" And there's a woman my age or younger sitting by the fireplace doing her computer or whatever, and he actually says something like "It's nice to see the clubhouse being used!" I said, literally, because I remember, "Well, that's what it's here for!" To great acclaim by Jeff.

    Is this guy trying to play position on me, or what!

    I think I freaked out a few times when I was eighteen or nineteen and got hit on by dudes, but I think it is hilarious, but also tragic, somehow, these days.

    I'm just glad that, apparently, I can do whatever the fuck I want in the clubhouse and this cat wants to be my best friend.

    yeah ino cool story.

    well, fuck you, that's a tiny sliver of my life that i thought was relatable and amusing.

  2. #2
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Heh, it's a nice story, all in all, I think. I'm always kinda cautious in my enthusiasm for other people, and it takes me by surprise when other people aren't, but that's just how they're built.

    Only downside, sometimes people who like you a lot for no particular reason will turn on you for no reason

  3. #3
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Agreed. I really am suspicious of "WTF!" if someone wants to be your best friend/buddy/confidant all of a sudden.

    Nothing good comes from that.

    ETA I think he might be a drinker -- one of the first few times I met him pretty sure I smelled alcohol on his breath. That would kind of explain why he's about my age and has a bit of a paunch. He knows for damned sure I always have a beer or something real to drink when I'm at the club. Also, I'm probably the only regular, non-log-lady shrieking person who comes to my club on a regular basis. So, I guess I cracked the case. Just guessing. I approve!
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 16 Dec 2014 at 09:43 AM.

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