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Thread: The funny RL observations and anecdotes thread RPG omnibus

  1. #351
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Eh, little miss snapper started another conversation, this time calling back to when I mentioned I was going to order some eyeglasses from Zenni optical off the web. Not a very interesting conversation, but I was subtly flirtatious.

    She also said "Hello, John" early this morning.

    I think she's warming up.

    /////////

    Here's a good one though. Kind of slow day at the watering hole. Bartender plunks down fifty cents and says "Rack 'em up!"

    Of course I won, just eight-ball, no fancy rules. But it was close. Too close. Shouldn't have been that close.

    But I still won.

    Which isn't the main thing, but it happens to be everything.

  2. #352
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    And all women like being referred to as "miss snatch" and "miss snapper."

    I cite US military doctrine that insists women be called "split-tails."

    It's classified document.

  3. #353
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    And another woman I've hung with outside of work brought up "the numbers" today.

    She guessed it was kind of a code. I'm still not sure if people get that the letters A->F are in fact numbers.

    But she seemed to believe my story that it was "the numbers" from Lost.

    At least she agreed with me that the ending was "thumbs down."

    Somebody else got involved in that conversation, it might have been my new acquaintance Sue, who's nice — she's Asian, so I bet she understood base-16 numbers — but, still, they didn't crack the code.

    Plus, no cameras/phones in the warehouse, so unless someone is Ramanujan or Stu Ungar, they're never going to figure out that, indeed, it is true that several managers eat ass-babies.

  4. #354
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    And another woman I've hung with outside of work brought up "the numbers" today.

    She guessed it was kind of a code. I'm still not sure if people get that the letters A->F are in fact numbers.

    But she seemed to believe my story that it was "the numbers" from Lost.

    At least she agreed with me that the ending was "thumbs down."

    Somebody else got involved in that conversation, it might have been my new acquaintance Sue, who's nice — she's Asian, so I bet she understood base-16 numbers — but, still, they didn't crack the code.

    Plus, no cameras/phones in the warehouse, so unless someone is Ramanujan or Stu Ungar, they're never going to figure out that, indeed, it is true that several managers eat ass-babies.
    ////////////

    AND YET, nobody apparently seems to know the seminal band Black Flag, nor my angry, juvenile, perversion of their name and logo on the front of my vest.

    Bunch of pansies.
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 19 Aug 2018 at 03:00 AM.

  5. #355
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    Oh.

    Magoo, you've done it again.

    Terrible, awful mistake.

    So there's like these two SE Asian immigrants, about fifteen years apart in age. I called the younger one by the older one's name when just saying "Hi."

    Geez.

    I'm not a mind-reader, but I could tell she didn't like that one bit. Of course, I corrected myself and used her actual name, and tried to explain that I don't see very well.

    I don't think she understands that, to me, many white men all look the same to me as well, but that's a horrible mistake to have made, especially to a young woman who's been friendly and chatty with me (and who is stacked like a brick shithouse and is very cute, especially for a yellow).

    Well, I guess it's OK — leaving work at the parking lot she gave me a little wave and a smile as we were getting into our conveyances.

    Still, that's a terrible mistake, not to mention it reflects poorly on white Americans in general. Well, that latter group kind of deserves to be taken down a peg, especially recently.

    It is true about the eyesight, but it's a lame excuse, since recognizing people is much easier for me than reading printed signs from a distance. ETA though it is true I can't always tell the difference between white men who have similar neckbeards and somewhat similar physical characteristics. Even then, "Tim?" "Jim" "Dave"? I'm not that good at it until something gets locked in my mind.

    Plus, these two don't really look much alike — about the same height, but age difference, hair coloration, facial features.

    That is a mistake I'm very ashamed about; although I think our brief discussion about eyesight and glasses smoothed things over, so perhaps she doesn't feel so bad.
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 21 Aug 2018 at 09:25 PM.

  6. #356
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    Goddammed right.

    I got that little Rip van Winkle asshole fair and square.

    And I figured out how to use side-English to avoid a cue-ball scratch, of which I made three or four during the game.

    It was a close game, but he's a pretty good barroom player, so I'll take what I can get.

    No money or beers exchanged, just "play for play," or as McGoorty said, "playing hee-haw."

    I think I hate that guy a little less — he knew my name and was patient enough after I came in to let me drink a beer, check my phone, and just get the work crap out of my head.

    Not exactly battle of the titans, but a little friendly competition is fun, if one is in the mood.

    ////////////

    ETA Oh, and yet again, this time someone who picked up an extra shift not part of the regular crew. "What do those numbers mean?"

    She seemed happy enough with my explanation that, "Yeah, it's a kind of a code. I'm just a computer nerd and I like numbers." Even though it's not exactly true that I'm a computer nerd, and I don't actually care about numbers, people seem satisfied. At least so far.

    Now I'd have to look up what the one-byte hex numbers actually say. IIRC it's something like "Natasha eats ass-babies out of her reeking gash. And so does Denise." Something stupid like that. I can't remember.

    Meh, I'm bored with that game, so it just stays on my vest in impermeable marker.
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 22 Aug 2018 at 03:53 PM.

  7. #357
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    I'm going to say something terrible, but IME young men (or "instars" or "hatchlings," one might say) of SE Asian descent are about the worst warehouse workers I've ever seen.

    They work, as a group, glacially slowly, seem to be inobservant of cues r'eal people subliminally read that indicate "get out of my way, numbnuts, I'm coming through."

    There are some notable exceptions, IME, but as a group these people are just not very good at all. At anything. Friendly socializing including.

    It's like they have a chip on the shoulder or something.

    Well, whatever — there's more good people of whatever descent than bad, in general.

  8. #358
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    Hmmm. Susi was friendly enough, although a bit curt today.

    She looked a bit bloated about the face, and kind of haggard.

    I bet she's on the rag, and not that I pissed her off.

    Goddamned women giving me trouble.

  9. #359
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    Quote Originally posted by Jizzelbin View post
    I'm going to say something terrible, but IME young men (or "instars" or "hatchlings," one might say) of SE Asian descent are about the worst warehouse workers I've ever seen.

    They work, as a group, glacially slowly, seem to be inobservant of cues r'eal people subliminally read that indicate "get out of my way, numbnuts, I'm coming through."

    There are some notable exceptions, IME, but as a group these people are just not very good at all. At anything. Friendly socializing including.

    It's like they have a chip on the shoulder or something.

    Well, whatever — there's more good people of whatever descent than bad, in general.
    Yeah, that is probably the worst thing I've ever said.

    Well, it's true, as stated.

    But for fair and balanced, the neckbeard white nerds are equally as horrible.

    The blacks and hispanics, even the younger ones, seem to "get it" — namely, they just go along and seem to get along fine. At least with me.

    I attribute defective personalities to a combination of "this is not what family honor demands," and also just being young kids without much perspective or experience at this kind of thing.

    The older ones, of any demographic group, seem to have smoothed out those rough patches and are a credit to the company, and also a source of lighthearted banter.

    //////////////////////////

    ETA Yet another query by one of the floor-supervisors about "the numbers." I like this guy, we get along fine. I went with "Well, they're just random numbers"

    —"So, you really probably have a Ph.D. in mathematics: I thought it was some equation or something."

    Etc., I end up explaining that I sort of have a doctorate, but I work in logic, but I didn't finish my dissertation.

    STILL. NOBODY has thought to decode the two-digit (one byte) base-16 digits into the obvious ASCII? That is very surprising to me.

    At least nobody read the ghetto French addition to the front of my vest — I suppose I'll have to say it's a line from Les misérables, even though there's nothing objectionable written there.

    That's just as well — it's all for my private amusement.
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 24 Aug 2018 at 07:38 AM.

  10. #360
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    Well, I'll be a son of a bitch.

    That little Rip van Winkle took me.

    And yet, just 8-ball, I came from behind with like five balls to his two balls.

    Blew it on the eight.

    It was a very good rally for me, to come from behind so far.

    He fucked up the break so I ended up reluctantly taking the break — on my part, it was a solid hard break, everything scattered. Nothing sank, though, so for him he had a whole bunch of shots.

    Oh, yes, and he does that ultra gay-anus "call shot" thing instead of just call pocket. "Oh, well, I didn't call that exact bank of that exact ball, so it's your turn."

    That is the fucking stupidest fake bar-rule that exists.

    Oh well, I missed the eight, and left him with a nice shot on the eight, so he won fair and square.

    Bitch's bastard.

  11. #361
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    I think Morgan is starting to get a little pissed off at me for not being more aggressive.

    WTF else do you want, woman?

    I gave you an open invitation to come hang after work.

    You fucking know I like you.

    But, sorry honey if I didn't stop by the gas station and get you one of those roses on a stick that are really rolled-up panties.

    I don't know what her deal is, but we have to meet each other halfway.

    ///////

    ETA Oh, about my illiterate French saying on the front of my vest. One of my favorite floor supervisors was like "What's that?" (In a friendly way);

    I assured her, truthfully, that it was nothing obscene.

    She did guess that it was French, so, good for her.

    Nah, all the floor supervisors are friendly with me and vice versa. I mean, hell, we work together 5/7 of the week, usually. They don't actually have any authority, and I don't think they get paid more than me: they just don't want to pick freight and seem to think there's a career path for them. Could be. Good for them.

    I'm still kind of surprised nobody actually knows WTF it means.
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 24 Aug 2018 at 06:16 PM.

  12. #362
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    Yeah, I do think that Morgan is getting a bit peeved at me.

    I'm trying to look at me from her perspective — I make jokes and small-talk all the time with at least a dozen co-workers throughout the day.

    I think it's reasonable to think that, instead of me not wanting to put the hammer down on her, she suspects I've just lost interest.

    Which isn't entirely wrong.

    However, she has some strong introverted qualities, like me, and, I believe she has some conservative social qualities that attend that quality, also, like me.

    So, it's more probable that she feels that she has reciprocated by small friendly gestures recently, and is certainly aware that I find her worth knowing.

    I suspect she is confused about what a good outcome is, and, just like me vis-ŕ-vis her, she doesn't know me at all personally, and I think it's very likely that she wants some kind of closure on the deal.

    So, I do that. No problem.

    This is what happens when two introverts try to mate.

    It's not impossible, nor is it awkward, since I believe us to both be intelligent, non-spazzes.

    It's just very, very slow.

    ETA At the very least I can invite the chub out for some real pool. I don't think Morgan really knows that I socialize after work with people I'm not screwing. She may not be very observant.
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 24 Aug 2018 at 08:44 PM.

  13. #363
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    Goddamned.

    I can't even wear a short-sleeve shirt unbuttoned around a T-shirt.

    Not because it reminds me of Ed Norton''s trademark vest: it reminds me of wearing a blaze-orange safety vest.

    Never mind.

    Morgan's pussy is not safe when I'm around.

    Sorry if that offends anyone.

    I will have it.

    It will probably be unhygienic.

    But I can be a generous lover, and at least she'll never know.

  14. #364
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    I'm not sure about this, but I suspect some of the newer recruits seem to think I'm some kind of "big man" around the warehouse.

    Which is not true at all — I shirk any responsibility greater than just me doing the job accurately and knowing about how the place is run, where stuff is, and all that.

    That's the best explanation, though, for why this very comely woman seems to make a point of giving a nice smile.

    I suspect her of being of Latin-American descent, but with a heavy European amount of features.

    She can't be more than nineteen, and while I'm obviously appealing to women, I would think that's a horrid thing to suggest she's into riding my jock.

    Rather, I suspect she's trying to be friendly in a strategic way to people who might be good to know.

    It's at such moments I'm very glad to have not gone full-neckbeard. Never go full-neckbeard.

  15. #365
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    I suspect health insurance reps on the telephone are used to dealing with crazies 99% of the time.

    I don't care about being on hold, but most of those people seem to have an attitude, like, "Are you sure you want to..." "You do understand not until the ninth of the month."

    Fucking yes, lady: I'm the one who called you, so goddamned right I know what the deal is. Just do what I ask or give me a better number to call. Numbnuts.

  16. #366
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Boo-ya.

    Plan designed and executed.

    Floated the idea of going for a walk with WareGirl, said I'd give her my number.

    Thirty minutes later, got a chance to follow up.

    Pink post-it note, name, ph# and e-mail, and stuck it on her cart.

    "Hey, if you want to go for a walk sometime, I'm your guy. Of course, I say that to all the girls. <nice smile from me>."

    She seemed to like it.

    Maybe that's a chicken-shit way to do it, but that's what I did, and that's no bullshit — exact words.

  17. #367
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Not sure.

    If she is about my age, she's not counting on her parents for financial support: probably more like me trying to provide and support them, if they still exist.

    You should have seen her face smile when I gave her my info.

    She really needed someone to desire her, in a normal fashion, is my opinion.

    So, even if she doesn't go through, at least I think I did a nice mitzvah, make her feel OK.

    I think that's just fine.

  18. #368
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Right.

    So, first the conversation that I'm fine with not smoking tobacco around her. (Which is fine. Pussy>pipe tobacco)

    Then the conversation about how much contact with my tongue her clitoris should have. (Debatable, but I don't think I should be used as a belt sander — gotta get the red bit in at some point, and the clit isn't the best part of eating a woman out).

    Perfect.

    Problem solves.
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 28 Aug 2018 at 07:46 PM.

  19. #369
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    Bah. One more enquiry about "the numbers."

    Well, this guy knew what ASCII encoding was, although I'm not too sure he knew what hexadecimal numbers were.

    Well, like me, he doesn't have the table memorized, but in his favor, he did guess that it was an elementary code.

    I should grab a new vest and use an XOR encryption for the ASCII, and hide the key somewhere on the vest. Actually, that would be good — I can't remember how to write this elementary encryption from scratch. ETA but it's rather simple, and I should be able to do that by hand easily.

    I did bet him twenty Amazon "swag bucks" if he could figure it out (those are little gifts they give out, sort of like Monopoly money on colored paper, for when you do something good — I've got like sixty of them, but the only things they can be used for are some random Amazon-branded crap from a cage at the warehouse, which, I don't know. I guess they have some kind of camp chair that could be handy, but I'm not that interested).

    Actually, I do want to buy a better quality safety vest — the kind with pockets and shit, and one that actually fits the length of my torso.

    They're cheap, but it's not my idea of fun running around shopping for shit.
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 30 Aug 2018 at 08:21 PM.

  20. #370
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Bit of friendly advice: if you're able to, you should divest yourself of Amazon shares.

    Their hacked-together delivery scheme lacks corporate support, is populated at each distribution center with half-wits, and the workers are the types of people you round up onto the back of a pick-up truck at the back of a Home Depot.

    Amazon has not, to my knowledge, "sacrificed" even ONE person with knowledge of high-school mathematics, let alone any form of ability in scheduling and shortest-path algorithms, in order to provide some idea of direction at any given delivery unit.

    All the way to the top at any individual facility, these are fast-food managers.

    Not that there's anything wrong with that.

    However, there is zero competent oversight, theoretical ability, or even a semblance of a desire to acquire such assets.

    NOW, I do not doubt that Amazon shares will continue upwards.

    However, as their internal "investment" in their delivery scheme grows, it is a losing battle.

    Might be twenty years before collapse, might be never as they figure their shit out.

    And no, I'm not trying to short their stock.

    Just my opinion.

    Personally, I'd rather invest in Japanese dolphin-fishing companies, but I like the long game.

  21. #371
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    Fine, lady. If you don't feel like texting me, I'm going to jack off in the men's room. Like ten times per shift.

    Out of spite.

    Well, probably not.

    But I still might!

    Get your shit together woman — I gave you the keys to the highway, so use it already. I already put myself out there, and not only do you know what the deal is, you know how to use that thing.

  22. #372
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Well, a few days ago was probably my second strike against me v-ŕ-v Morgan.

    Waiting in line to receive a new "route" (i.e., a list of hundreds of "packages" to put in meticulous order on these bread-cart type things with wheels).

    Me: "If she [the manager] doesn't give us a break, I'm going to put my fist in her ass."
    M: <silence>
    Me: "Well, that was probably a little excessive."
    M: "Yeah, maybe excessive. You seem a little off your mood today."
    Me: "Yeah, well, you know, sweating for three and a half hours without a break, I think likely causes some cognitive deficits. And, impairs executive functions in the frontal lobe. Anyway, it's just words."
    M: <..................uh-huh!>

    //////////

    First strike is that I found out she's like a completely crippled asthmatic, with her own inhaler and some kind of weird drugs. I know she's seen me smoke cigs before work, just chatting with people.

    That can be solved — I don't even like cigarettes (although I'm fond of my vanilla-flavored pipe tobacco).

    However, my desire to execute a defective manager by pushing my fist through various intimate orifices, probably cannot be resolved. In my favor, I'm never angry in particular, and if I were an autocrat, I'd probably delegate the punishment to a servant.

    ////////////

    HOWEVER, today brings a new day: I got assigned a route way out back, with few people around me.

    M: "Hey, how come you got a good spot to work in away from everyone?"
    Me: "Well, I think it's like being the Hunchback of Notre Dame: you just got to be a crazy motherfucker!"
    M: <laughs>

    Yeah, so, she still thinks I'm mildly amusing, I guess.

    Therefore, winning.

  23. #373
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    Oh here's a real one I forgot about.

    Sometime late last week I was just having my after-work pint of beer, and the bartender had cued up some solid classic rock from her iPod, or phone, or whatever.

    An Allman Brothers tune comes on (I can't remember which one) and this guy a few spots down from me asks, "Hey, you're old: who is this playing?"

    I was amused at hearing the question put like that from some guy in his late-forties.

  24. #374
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    I can't remember the initial start of the conversation, but my reply to this 27-year old coworker (very petite, and kind of a simpleton):

    "Yeah, I think I've known quite a few women like that."
    Her: "Well, yeah, I'm sure: you're old. Aren't you like forty?"

    That still cracks me up.

    No, nothing malicious in her jibes, she just has a little bit of a zany sense of humor. And no, I'm not trying to bone her; she's just pretty funny.

    For example: "Why do you look so angry??? --I'm not angry, that's just my neutral expression. --You should go up to one of the rafters and hang yourself!"

    Extremely amusing sense of humor.

  25. #375
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    Check this shit out.

    (It's my best attempt to take a picture featuring both sides of my head).

    So I grab a haircut yesterday, and earlier this morning I noticed the "hairstylist" (some gypsy woman, I think, who had probably been drinking that blue disinfectant liquid they soak combs in) cut off one of my very short sideburns and left the other one intact.

    See, if I'd shaved today, I'd have noticed.

    So, be forewarned.

    She gave an OK haircut, though, I guess. And she was very entertaining.

    Except for the minor detail of cutting off one sideburn and leaving the other intact.

    Meh, I think medical surgeons do that kind of thing all the time.

  26. #376
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    Hmmm.

    So that woman and I ended up waiting until the vans drove through (they are very slow at doing things), so I mentioned I was going to ask her yesterday (she was absent), but brought up my intention to take her to the debut of the painter Eric Wert's new book.

    The time is a problem, @ 1930, given the hours we both work, BUT I did have a chance to say that IF I had her phone number I could text her in advance if something else interesting comes up.

    M: "That's a good....I still have your phone number so I can text you my number."
    Me: "Oh, you still have that?"
    M: "Yes, right on my desk."

    Hmmmm.

    Hmmmm.

    Hmmmm.

    Her response was logical if intended as something she intended to do.

    However, I think it equally likely that she sought an easy, non-confrontational way to say, "Sure, John, we'll do that. Just wait, honey."

    Hmmmm.

  27. #377
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    Here's a pretty good one from Saturday after work (0945 or a bit after).

    Quiet at the bar, the bartender has some streaming station on that's playing some good shit.

    "Volare" comes on.

    Me: "Dean Martin! I think he's like my spirit animal." (no, I'd only had half a pint of beer, so, not drunk)
    Bartender: "Yeah, I can see that."

    I conclude that attractive women in customer-service positions who are any good have a pretty good idea of how to handle men.

  28. #378
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    Handling men is pretty much how they make a living, so, definitely yeah.

  29. #379
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    Goddamned fucking A.

    That is fucking ridiculous trying to put a basically condom-like thing on a wood-frame bed platform.

    Think it's easier doing it on a dinky little Q-size mattress?

    Fuck you.

    That is fucking hard to do.

    And keep in mind my "day job" is lifting heavy things non-stop.

    That is a two-person job for even just the comparatively-light mattress.

    Fuck.

    I do not like things to be wrong, but that is a wrong task for one person.

    ETA And, yes, I think it is a pretty rare but crucial skill for younger pretty women to learn how to just...I don't know...."handle" men in general. Just like men should know how to treat women in an appropriate way. It's like a social contract.

    Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy.

    And, no, I'm still allowed in most Chuck E. Cheese's's parking lots.

  30. #380
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    Goddamned fucking A.

    That is fucking ridiculous trying to put a basically condom-like thing on a wood-frame bed platform.

    Think it's easier doing it on a dinky little Q-size mattress?

    Fuck you.

    That is fucking hard to do.

    And keep in mind my "day job" is lifting heavy things non-stop.

    That is a two-person job for even just the comparatively-light mattress.

    Fuck.

    I do not like things to be wrong, but that is a wrong task for one person.

    ETA And, yes, I think it is a pretty rare but crucial skill for younger pretty women to learn how to just...I don't know...."handle" men in general. Just like men should know how to treat women in an appropriate way. It's like a social contract.

    Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy.

    And, no, I'm still allowed in most Chuck E. Cheese's's parking lots.

  31. #381
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    Here's an oddity from today.

    WareGirl actually yelled in anger, I assume at some random contract driver, something like "YOU DON'T MOVE WHEN IT [sc. I assume the drivelane sirens indicating moving traffic through the warehouse] ISN'T ON!!!!"

    And I mean fucking loud, and I caught a glimpse of her face — she was pissed.

    Very upsetting to me — I thought she was cool.

    Two possible explanations. OK, three.

    (I) There was a significant fire at a wood recycling center two blocks north of the warehouse, which created significant smoke (hint: it smelled like burning wood), and which entered in quantity into the warehouse, such that respirators were made available to those who desired them.
    (a) I did inquire as to her "pulmonary health" (yes, I did that words IRL). She was not happy, being an asthmatic.

    (II) She was trying to impress me with her ability to be assertive and forthright, after overhearing me tell a coworker I was switching to another shift, while not recognizing that, although I am vicious, abusive, and crude in language, I never raise my voice in anger.

    (III) She was angered that my calming, avuncular presence would no longer be a balm to her during the early mornings at the warehouse.

    and possibly,

    (IV) A combination of the above, plus maybe she was on the rag or something.

  32. #382
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    Oh, god damned. One of the roofers is actually taking a piss (sounds like) right above my office window off the roof.

    Shit.

    That guy'd been drinking some beer, from the sounds of it.

  33. #383
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    Here's weird from earlier today — from maybe 75 meters away this kind of douchey "Ambassador" yells out to me, "You speak German, don't you?"

    me: "Ja, aber nur ein bischen, Herr Feldkommandant!"

    (a) Why would he ask me that?
    (b) What would make him think that?
    (c) He didn't follow up with anything related, which seemed random.

    I think I went around muttering something out loud about Österreich and stuff.

    Fuck no, I don't speak any more German than anybody else.

    Damned Yankees.

    Now Claudia, if I see her I can try to speak some Italian, and if that fails, maybe fill in the gaps with words from Spanish. She looks ethnic enough.

    And, no, non parlo italiano bene.

    To me, Italian is much trickier than German to have a short conversation in — not a question of accent or anything, just that so many words are not the same from Latin, and any basically creolized language like French is have nothing to do with spoken Italian. Yeah, you can mix the languages and get the point made, IME, but is not the good way.

  34. #384
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    I've decided: I despise this little "Ambassador."

    Reason (1): He is a lazy scumbag, before "ascending" to his new little position. How do I know? He and this freak who was all up in M's grill like shit on a fly were buddy-buddy and AFAICT did jack shit except incompetently talk about nerd shit, like comic books or some idiotic television spectacles about some technical specialties in science. This jackass couldn't find some splash goggles if they were crammed up his ass.

    Reason (2): Every other time I see him (before work, etc.), he's yakking up some bullshit gossip about some people who got fired for being drunk at work. Fine, so your fucking grandmother was killed by a drunk driver, or whatever your deal is. Just because my sweat is copious and smells of wine, it's not your problem, you pansy. At least I get my shit done safely and accurately, and with maximum alacrity.

    Reason (3): He's got some kind of ego problem, like he's unwilling to admit that he's not King Shit of the warehouse.

    Reason (4): He plays bass guitar but seems to have no ability to talk about music or fretboard technique beyond his dumbass little genre of nerd-rock.

    Reason (5): He's a nerd, and looks stupid.

    Reason (6): He's known to have been among the slowest pickers/stagers (my old shift), and he's still fucking slow. So he's got a fancy vest now. He's still incompetent, slow, easily-distracted, and, by his association with that fucking pervert who "friended up" M, he's an apologist for inferiors who are likely date rapists or sexual predators.

    IOW, he was one of the worst workers at my earlier shift, he was best buddies with a sexual predator, he is sanctimonious, and he's a nerd who doesn't know shit about any technical specialty.

    QED

    ////////

    ETA Next time I see that little shit, I'll have to ask him what happened to his little buddy. Bet he's in prison for molesting a collie.
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 12 Oct 2018 at 04:25 AM.

  35. #385
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    It would be kind of fun and funny to drown somebody — somebody who really "needed killing," according to the Texas motto or all US law enforcement agencies.

    The nice thing about being an adult is I don't need to practice on animals — I like animals.

    Besides, just one.

    Doesn't strain your fingers like strangling, is nice and clean, and it just seems like a pretty fun time.

    I don't like getting wet, but that's a small price to pay.

    And oh yeah, just kidding hahaha.

    No, I'm not kidding. It seems like a good way to execute judicial death sentences, as well.

  36. #386
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    Heh.

    Apparently opening a support ticket with one's employer using the term "turd database administrator" seems to work.

    Well, they fixed some things.

    I suspect using the term "turd" changed the admins to my side — meh, it's probably one guy up in Seattle doing a back-end DBA job that should be handled by a small team, so he or she probably thought it was funny.

  37. #387
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    Well that's fucking great.

    A few hours after waking up, just killing time before going for a walk this morning, I found a mature bedbug crawling on my shirt.

    Apparently, I must launder my sheets and blankets today, and take more care to not wear possibly tainted clothes to bed. And fix my diatomaceous earth setup.

    Hope I don't have to throw away my pillow — I just got it, and putting them in the dryer makes them all lumpy IME.

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