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Thread: The funny RL observations and anecdotes thread RPG omnibus

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    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Default The funny RL observations and anecdotes thread RPG omnibus

    Yeah, so like RPG because the rules are one RL anecdote or observation per post, limit is one paragraph. Or whatever.

    And totally obey the rules, because whatever, something bad or something and it's totally super serious. And also try to respect other people -- believe it or not, there's someone in my family I like who is probably not retarded, but is not really talking at the appropriate age, and there's a buddy whose family I'm close to who is pretty much delayed, so that's why, not because of that, but because other people might have a sore spot, I only ever say "differently-abled" for those kind of people. So, like, if someone asks you to not talk a certain way, and if there's a reason besides just plain being a puss, maybe consider it. Unless they're strayan -- they can take it, because they're usually wasted on canned beer in between shooting kangaroos off their pickup trucks and getting slaughtered in her majesty's service overseas.

    Oh yeah, so oh shit I broke the rule, but it's okay because this like totally OP and stuff.

    But like so I had a half-hour to kill this AM, so I planted in a little park in front of the "art" "museum" here to latch onto some wifi. Some volunteer squad of different-people were actually like doing some gardening shit in a public park. Not for vegetables, not for anything, just a bunch of crippled freaks doing whatever. Which is nice, gives them something to do, but doesn't save any taxes, so, whatever. Really? Some like 30 year old woman thinks dressing up in skin-tight clothes comprised of spandex and a second-skin T-shirt is anything but ridiculous? I don't care, I mean I hope she gets those ovaries fed, but do people really think that kind of behavior is anything but the RL analog of wearing assless chaps to a "biker" bar and "seeing" if something "accidentally" happens in the men's room?

    So, the upshot is, people are funny, and I like watching them, seeing what kind of ridiculous patterns they fall into.

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    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Yeah, so I have a pretty good one just happened right now.

    But first, it was bothering me since I posted that my little observation might not have been comisserated with or however it's spelled by your average non-curmudgeon. No, it's just funny, the lengths both men and women go to be obviously "attractive" and the nice little pretend shield humans give themselves to cover their egos if nothing happens, as in "I was just like talking to her, man, like about stuff and things" and "These pants and this bra are comfortable I will not wear a burka!" Adults know, it's obvious, and, pretty much, if unremarkable per se, it's still kind of funny.

    And that's why wearing earplugs is good, because when you feel amused enough to say to yourself "Chuhdkh durr photojournalist!" or "Mmmmgrrrbbble marine biologist!" out loud, you rarely know how much thjose words can hurt.

    Oh yeah, so coming back "home" (non-U and I hate the term, but it fits, because it is my "home" whatever) from a food run to the grocery store, coming back up over one of the hills I spied some .... I don't know what they were. They looked like rich white people having a beer at the crest of a hill on a ped walkway, out of a 12 pack.

    It happened that as I cleared the line of sight I was dragging full-on from a plastic fifth of Broker's whiskey. I don't mean like "erm, pardon me, I have a taste!" I mean like sucking on the bottle until I got my fill. Like a one of those pirate people, wearing docker's, a windbreaker, scarf, new tennis shoes, belt, and clean T shirt with a pocket with pens and pencils in it in the breast.

    Man, those little kids just like did a dance move I never seen. I think that's the closest to respect I'll ever get in my life. None of them said anything, they just kind of stopped blocking the paved pedestrian wooded walkway and they are awesome.

    Fuck you.

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    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    pH YEAH, SO THAT was me in the white-person clothds and they people showed me RESPET yo.

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    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Also FYI in case there are any trolls here I just found out a rl thing. Not not a circuit with an inductor and some resistive elemtn in it.

    Yeah, so this is how bullies are made. meaning me, so i was thinking, boy it would be too bad if i made this guy who stole my laptop eat his piece of shit dog after i stomped it to death fur and all. and btw, in thiS 500+ CONDO COMMunity dogs are not nor have ever been allowed.

    this is just some piece of shit whose apparently grandmother or whatever lets him live at her place. FML if I thougt living in an affluent suburb meant living next to bums that's one thing but now i got to deal with scumbags who have, against the covenant I pay dearlt every month to enfoce, have some shitty dogs.

    yES, it is true. generally, people who choose to live in suburb or urban places with dogs are pieces of human waste. If you want to buy a dog, you need to buy a country lifestyle. Otherwise, you are human waste.
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 21 Mar 2014 at 02:58 AM.

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    Oh well apparentl another thing i learned is that speaking to an apparently empty public room saying "do you know what it is to have you teeth pulled out, you are a piece of human garbage" in a nice alan rickman impression is as ridiculous as it sounds.

    the more you know!

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    Yes, that does sound like useful information.

    I've got one that I don't know is hilarious, but might as well tell it here as in the "life in the city" thread.

    I'm out for my lunchtime walk. A young woman walks out of a store ahead of me. She looks exactly like a a TV stripper or hooker. Bleached blonde hair, haggard face, tattoed legs -- and a metallic miniskirt that only covers half her butt. I mean like bare cheeks. As she walks along, she kind of casually occasionally pulls it down a bit, but it will only go so far as to cover 3/4 of her butt.

    It's downtown Toronto, people are usually pretty blase, but she is turning heads.

    Eventually she walks into a store called "Dancing Shoes". I'd never paid much attention to it before, but judging by the window, it's where strippers get their shoes. I guess she was getting sorted out for work at the strip club and couldn't be bothered changing when she got there.

    So yeah, the more you know.

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    Mi parolas esperanton malbone Trojan Man's avatar
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    I had dinner on the beachfront last night. Good food, good company, also saw someone dressed as a red teletubby while buying refreshments. Just happily staggering in the middle of the road. As you do.

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    Quote Originally posted by spitz View post
    I had dinner on the beachfront last night. Good food, good company, also saw someone dressed as a red teletubby while buying refreshments. Just happily staggering in the middle of the road. As you do.
    What's up, son? You're what we call a tease, not telling something funny about the teletubby shithead.

    I ain't into this theater of the mind shit, son! Say it!

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    Oh here's one. I saw this dude just now up at this place and said "Hey, son, I thought I told you no beer!" Since I had in my hand a 24 oz 10.6 % it was meant to be funny, but he jut laughed and said "Oh, and you're the exception!" Yeah, he's about ten years younger than me so whatever but anyway I thought that was a good comeback. I'm friends with his dad and he's a good kid, I guess. Just funny, is all.

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    Quote Originally posted by Jizzelbin View post
    Quote Originally posted by spitz View post
    I had dinner on the beachfront last night. Good food, good company, also saw someone dressed as a red teletubby while buying refreshments. Just happily staggering in the middle of the road. As you do.
    What's up, son? You're what we call a tease, not telling something funny about the teletubby shithead.

    I ain't into this theater of the mind shit, son! Say it!
    I saw that teletubby freak staggering drunkenly down the middle of the road. It's not usual here.

  11. #11
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by spitz View post
    I saw that teletubby freak staggering drunkenly down the middle of the road. It's not usual here.
    Ah, he was just cosplaying the unsuccessful 2008 attempt to make a gritty reboot of the Teletubbies, "Leaving Tele Vegas".

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    No! Stop saying interesting things!

    Also, wth are you people talking about? Like some full-grown man in a teletubby costume drunk like a Santa Claus?

    That is awesome! I want to know more! Deets, peeps, and stat!

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    Fine I guess I have to contribute something since I made such a big deal out of you people being boring as shit.

    Yeah, so whatever, I needed to renew my driver's license and apparently what would have been a twenty-minute stop turned into a whole big thing and cost me a bunch of money because apparently I needed a birth fucking certificate. Fucking assholes.

    And my new photo is hilarious, but apparently I don't have the fine bone structure to avoid looking like John Candy after a night of hard drinking at the Chuck E Cheese. So whatever, deal with it.

    Well, that happened, so eat it you bunch of bitches.

    Also am still mad about the picture of Balthasar in chate. That's like one of my favorite movies.

    And I only saw one crazy person today so far so am also mad about that.

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    Yeah whatever so like this seems to be the place to be.

    At least today.

    Also, you all suck!

    No, you're fine, don't worry about it.

    But seriously, I can't be all like being a perv and shit just looking at the "ladies" so like keep me company and shit! For real yo! Yeah, whatever, but I'm pretty sure there's a law or some whatever against me "enjoying" myself out here. Or whatever.

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    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    So I'm sitting on the subway and a guy and a girl are talking, maybe a little too loud, but no big.

    The guy goes "I make this great thing called fresh basil shrimp. It's made with FRESH BASIL"

    I think, hmm, I would have thought horseradish.

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    You stupid motherfucker, why the fuck weren't you wearing your earplugs?

    Cut that shit out.

    Always be wearing earplugs.

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    Nah, I can never remember to even bring my earphones. I've got all kinds of music and talking books on my iPhone, and I never bring my earphones.

    I'm old.

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    Earphones are terrible for your ears, anyway. Also, ever notice how mostly differently-abled people wear earphones?

    And, old-timer, if you want to keep your remaining hearing, you'll follow my advice.

    That's not a threat, that's a promise.

    No, but seriously, the urban world would be better for everyone if everyone wore earplugs most of the time. People would pay more attention to what they do, verbal altercations would be less frequent, and people would be happier without having power equipment drilled into their ears all day. Women would be constantly moist and receptive. Men, lean and vigilant. Dogs, less dog. Children, amusing.

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    New haircut! Yes! I rule! Short in back, like papa likes it.

    Oh yeah, I had a good moment on the bus yesterday. Earplug use, as you know, increases dissociation from surrounds or whatever, in an awesome way. Some some fat art bitch was queefing all into her phone about some crap to one of her gay friends and ended on a phrase "He seemed like a worthwhile person." "Unlike you!"

    Oh snap, bitch!

    Well it's not Noel Coward, and the brilliance of my statement at a moment of relative quiet was probably undercut by my having already muttered "Shut up, cunt" ten minutes earlier.

    I still rule!

  20. #20
    Mi parolas esperanton malbone Trojan Man's avatar
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    Oh, you'd be a delight on public transport.

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    They start it, I finish it. That's the rule. Always!

    What ru talking about? I sit quietly, don't unnecessarily take up space where people could be sitting, if they desire (no, they never desire, for some reason -- probably because they can't handle so much awesomeness leaking onto them), and read quietly.

    AND, unlike these m'as-tu-vus who insist on shrieking loudly as they exit "ohai! Thank you!" I give a quiet nod to the driver or maybe the high sign when leaving. And I can stand and walk without grabbing the teats ass whatever straphangs.

    I rule!

    I did have a good one the other day, full bus, almost, nobody wanted to sit in the back, though, with the malcontents. Some shithead lady had her fucking umbrella on a sit. Earplugs in, I point and say "I'm sitting there" and start to sit.

    See, that's good, because it probably was a lesson to those pussy assnecks standing up that if you want a seat, you have to not be a shy animal about it.

    Eh, whatever. I'm fine.

    Probably not so good is with earplugs I'm no longer quite sure how loud my muttering of "STFU" to some assneck sounds IRL. But it's fine, because just a bunch of hippies anyway. And plausible deniability, I could if challenged try my new trick, which I haven't yet gotten to test drive, viz., pretend I'm disabled or something. Slackjaw, vacant stare, "Huh, oh!" The standard "play dumb" but with a twist, pretending I'm actually like have cretinism or something.

    That would be funny, but opportunities haven't yet come up for me to try my new character.

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    I don't know if this bartender was just being a bitch ( she looks like a meth person, with a furtive manner, and some stupid tatoos, and skinny and shit, but not like so skinny that she wears yoga pants and shops in the garden environment of the local Fred Meyer, with the SUV and stuff), but just like right now, came around to collect empty stuff or whatever, didn't even ask if I wanted another Natural Ice pitcher.

    Fucking whatever, but seriously these people are stupid.

    And the worst is these fucking people. Like who do they fucking think they are kidding?

    Oh I love it now the no-tits assneck POS hippies methhead bartender comes around for some other person. Whatever. She is a retard. But at least she respects me. Geez, where do people learn to be such shy little assneck pussy cowards?

    I command respect just by being where I am and maybe that's because I act like I deserve it, because why not.

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    Oh and yeah so like everytime you adjust yr earplugs ur supposed to say "Hi, this is Gordon cole. No. It's Gordon COLE the 'h' is silent, don't you see."

    From a bus book, roubaud's thing about Lewis (david): "arbres, lumières, îles, xéroxs" JFC it's a pain in the ass to get the spelling right fuck you Americq. Or whatever. but i think JR only wrote the line just to have a chance to say "xéroxs" because honestly that's not the way.

    But it's Roubaud, so he's all right, I guess.

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    I had too much apparently to consume over a few whatever units.

    Yeah, so what is up with art jerks being all like "hey it's bright and sunny out, black tights are in!" I'm talking about the women.

    This is like a comment on like how much our body-awareness is about who we are and also stuff.

    Yeah, so talk about that.

    I think it's cute these little people trying to like express themselves.

    No, fucking A am not glad I'm an idiot 18-year-old college student. These people are not smart. I'm old and not smart. They only have half. They suck. Or whatever.

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    There is way too fucking much syntax in C++. Yeah do C or whatever and hope it compiles. But then you get graded down for not being idiomatic.

    Way too much crap to remember....this is parts of my brain I could be using for something good like Homeric vocabulary. JFC who the fuck cares what some assneck asshole decided something about objects/classes? Just deal with the ideas and the algorithms.

    fucking assnecked asshole computer gadget nerds. they should just eat a bunch and then diaf?

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    Oh for fucking shit, I just ran a small laundry load and when the wash cycle was done, out popped my 16GB flash drive, the one I use for backing up small stuff and whatever.

    Holy shit!

    It appears it still works!

    The man rules! Yes! I scrupulously check and doublecheck pockets prior to laundering, but apparently not good enough, so am pissed off I could have been so careless, but still who cares I rule! Or the man who designed the thing I'm crowing about.

    Doesn't matter! Victory!

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    Mi parolas esperanton malbone Trojan Man's avatar
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    Flash drives are surprisingly durable. Try bashing it with a hammer. Science needs to know its threshold.

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    Mi parolas esperanton malbone Trojan Man's avatar
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    Or try bashing them like this

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    Quote Originally posted by spitz View post
    Flash drives are surprisingly durable. Try bashing it with a hammer. Science needs to know its threshold.
    Well I smashed one by dropping it and it is not working.

    Yeah so not happy about that, because you know, I use them and stuff and it costs.

    But full cycle through a washing machine? Yes, I'm dumb to do it in the first place, but come on! That is awesome!

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    Well this violates the OP rules, but who cares, I'm just now a day or two later grudgingly admitting my new pipe is OK.

    And I didn't notice before till now but "Made in France" is stamped on it. Not sure why that matters, but I like France and francewomen and, all told, I like the big fat avuncular pig-slaughtering greasy francemen too who drink beers and wine at 7 in the morning. My kind of people!

    Oh yeah, so bent-stem, standard briar, and it's not shellacked but just smooth wood. Kind of a lighter color than my old one that I lost, but pleasant, I guess. Bowl is pretty big.

    No cake yet

    But the tenon is remarkably tight fit. So, that's nice.

    $54.95

    Good thing, I fucking hate cigarettes and was kind of getting drawn back into them. Not sure how exactly to get rid of the roll-your-own cigarette stains off my thumb and middle finger. Tried vinegar, and I wash my hands every chance I get, but it looks really bad, like the shocker or whatever.

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    Quote Originally posted by spitz View post
    Or try bashing them like this
    Hey now that is pretty cool!

    I must been running with the wrong Punjabis, bc they never showed me that!

  32. #32
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    Quote Originally posted by Jizzelbin View post
    Well this violates the OP rules, but who cares, I'm just now a day or two later grudgingly admitting my new pipe is OK.

    And I didn't notice before till now but "Made in France" is stamped on it. Not sure why that matters, but I like France and francewomen and, all told, I like the big fat avuncular pig-slaughtering greasy francemen too who drink beers and wine at 7 in the morning. My kind of people!

    Oh yeah, so bent-stem, standard briar, and it's not shellacked but just smooth wood. Kind of a lighter color than my old one that I lost, but pleasant, I guess. Bowl is pretty big.

    No cake yet

    But the tenon is remarkably tight fit. So, that's nice.

    $54.95

    Good thing, I fucking hate cigarettes and was kind of getting drawn back into them. Not sure how exactly to get rid of the roll-your-own cigarette stains off my thumb and middle finger. Tried vinegar, and I wash my hands every chance I get, but it looks really bad, like the shocker or whatever.
    Leave lemon juice on your stained fingers for a while, then wash it off. if you don't have lemon access, potato works as well. No I'm not joking, it really works.

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    Well the first thing I got when I was like 18-19 and smoking Lucky unfiltereds from a friend's dad was lemon juice for getting rid of nicotine stains. But I just figured white vinegar is the same, right?

    I mean not for making hummus but same stuff, right?

    I could always just go meet yr mom for a while and have some playtime.

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    Hey my little grocery store clerk buddy liked my haircut! I am not that happy bc its pretty short, but she's black andntherefore knows about style and whatever. Who cares! I win!

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    Hey I rapped with some woman today and she was actually flattered I said she reminded me of Aretha. Don't know why I said that -- she just kind of had some preacher-woman vibe on her. Not only did she not get offended (although she was pretty broad in the back, in a good way) she gave me some church flyers and invited me to come sit in, without ever having heard me play.

    Nice lady. Maybe I'm not all that bright, but I like talking to people on the corner. Good stuff.

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    Oh I know why I said it. We were just talking about when the train comes and being all friendly and something something. Probably was my way of trying to make time, and she clearly liked me good enough to keep talking just casual. Whatever who cares, but it makes me feel good just to have some love.

    One thing I know is my ego can't handle not being loved and admired at all times. I don't think I am a sociopath, I just really have some pretty demanding emotional needs and am very unhappy when those aren't met. Also, friendless loser. But fuck off! I deserve to be loved, and I think we all do, I'm just angry and non-committal when I'm not, and also surprised. Same as anyone else. Not special, just ordinary.

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    Just out of a midterm started at 8am

    fucking hell is to early to be hearing acoustic noise, after doing some basic hex arithhmetic basic shit by hand. Normally I eat that shit up, but there is a time (a) for it to be too fucking early (b) after just plowing through these little exercises and getting out early b/c fresh air and the few hours of sunshine i can get qd is good and (c) some young punk with an airblower? right in my fucking ear? yeah the time is never!

    and having done more laundry, i forgot to put earplugs in my pocket!

    i suck!

    also, but hell young women going to the school gym really seem to dress the part!

    no it's not a high school, fucker, but i do feel sorry for this young sweetie sitting across from me -- she's probably studying or whatever but she seems so earnest, and i could feel her bristle when the leafblower came on.

    oh well, it's life, and she's young -- she's not old enough to be genuinely perturbed by the sounds of life.

  38. #38
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    So you forgot your earplugs?

    /Shakes head sadly/

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    Quote Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday View post
    So you forgot your earplugs?

    /Shakes head sadly/
    Fucking A damn right!

    That's why there exists the maxim don't not be having earplugs.

  40. #40
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    The nerve of this fucking interloper. Just using the marked crosswalk on a street near me, some cunt comes about a corner about 200m away. To be nice, I just hold out my hand indicating I'm walking -- not aggressively, just what you do, you know. "Hey I'm walking." She instead of braking immediately on this residential street, holds her speed and just kind of moves around me.

    Obviously, I flip her off, because she deserves it and AFAIC it would be no great loss if one of her boyfriends cut off this whore's labia and made her eat it before cutting her limbs off and leaving her to die. She actually says out the window about 20m later "fuck you!"

    I guess I muttered "you fat fucking cunt" or something, doubt she heard it, b/c I was walking and she was 30m farther by then.

    What a bunch of morons.

    I only got to chastise one other pedophile canadian driver today in the same manner, minus the brilliant unheard retort, but at least he wasn't a little bitch about it.

    Where do these people learn to drive? Gay camp? Is there a fire in my neighborhood with a dead-end street? No, there isn't. So shut the fuck up and get the dick out of your mouth you dumb cunt.
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 26 Apr 2014 at 03:10 PM.

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    Me: "I didin't know they were even open on Sundays"
    She: "Yep!"
    She: "Third floor?"
    Me: "No, fifth floor thanks, but I can see you got your hands full [had two cups of coffee]"
    She on getting off: "Good luck studying!"
    Me: "Yeah, you too."

    She was pretty

  42. #42
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Oh here's one. Up on the fifth floor by the math/CS/logic books, some poor shmuck -- some middle-east kind of guy...well, looks like it anyway -- some big tall redheaded white bitch actually said to him "erm, hai, i'm trying to study or whatver so please keep it down!"

    ermagherd what a cunt. I've been here for hours since he came in and sat down 20m from me....he wasn't even talking on the phone, just occasional i might have heard him mutter something to apparently the book he's been reading.

    wattabitch, amirite?

    trust me, if he was making a bunch of noise i would have said something PDQ.

    wattabitch.

    and that is why kids are the fucking worst. stupid butthurt non-entities.

  43. #43
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    new post children r abunch of twats. apparently EH disagrees, but silnce means consent. therefore they are fucking stains and should be eliminated. or whatever.

  44. #44
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    oh fucking A, I was just killing some time this AM, so went into a McDonald (or however it spelled) to get a coffee and some wifi. Out of my mind I asked "you still serving breakfast"?

    goddammit that spic motherfucker made me a sausage mufffin AND a sausage biscuit! like it wasn't no thing!

    that fucking bitch hooked me UP yo! I didn't think they did that!

    might have scraped it off the floor but the white bitch at the register who was asking was like "yo, can you do it?" and my man was like "yeah, I can hook that up!"

    new rule -- don't not be eating at McDonald's. those guys are sick. good people.

  45. #45
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    You gotta admit "Where did you learn to ______? Gay Camp?" is kind of good. I thought it was funny anyway, and have already mentally filed it away for future non-mellophant use. "Girl Camp" isn't as good to me, plus I can see being hurtful. But the queers I know and love would just shrug it off, or laugh, or beat me up. They are not the weaker sex, after all!

    And this was the shittiest MacDonald in downtown area -- well one of two that are particularly seedy. That was straight-up awesome. Maybe the counter girl thought I was going to go all *Falling Down* or something....but I honestly didn't know what time it was nor what time they stop their breakfast thing. Probably says on the menu, but I can't see that w/o glasses on. Had no idea they did that kind of thing. Nice!

    Yes, I am a glutton in Orson Welles training, but I just only like those PORK sausage things in the morning, or anytime. Sure, I've been known to chork down a McChicken or three at other times -- would rather have a falafel sandwich but (a) nobody does them good and (b) they're outrageously expensive. Taco trucks and McDonald's -- that's the smart buy, and with the Macdo you can get a lg coffee for a buck. Don't know why anyone would pay more for a cup of joe. Idiots.
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 28 Apr 2014 at 01:48 PM.

  46. #46
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Oh here's one. So sunny day out and some band or whatever is doing a bunch of bullshit....took my earplugs out for a second when I thought I could hear the bassline to "Loup Garou" (or however it's spelled).

    So found a spot on a bench....one young dude reading a Penguin Shakespeare (couldn't see which one) and one middle-aged woman doing something to a book. I asked to both "Either of you mind if I smoke?" The dude was like, "yeah whatever I don't care" and the woman was like "I'm allergic to smoke...I used to smoke, see"

    To which I said, very pleasantly, "I know about the allergies....[response]...I know, they can be serious....[response]...Well you should have that checked out!" And that was the end of the conversation, so I opened my stuff I was reading and sat quietly, then, out of compulsion, because my pipe needed cleaning, went to the trash can, with all my stuff on the bench, and cleared out all the crap of my pipe.

    Noticedanother spot between two dudes -- not stricto sensu "Bros" but whatever. Neither looked like a little bitch, and it was an open spot on a bench, so I took.

    Packed a full bowl. Lit it. Trust me, it is about the nastiest tobacco -- this is not your granddaddy's nice peach-flavored tobacco. Nobody said shit. Nobody even looked at me funny.

    So since when is it OK for people to be like conforming to gender stereotypes?

  47. #47
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Stereotypes come from somewhere, dude.

    Oh, and my own little story. A few weeks ago, after the ball game, my kid and I go into the hamburger place we sometimes go after a game. We order our burgers and stuff, and the total comes to something like 26.01.

    We don't use pennies anymore in Canada, we round our prices, so I give the girl 26 even.

    She looks unhappy for a while, then finally says something to the effect of "the accounting software means I have to put in the full amount, do you have a nickel or something?"

    Mildly surprised, but not really caring, I reach in my pocket, pull out a nickel and hand it to her.

    She enters the amount in the register, then hands me my nickel back.

  48. #48
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Was she Scottish or Welsh? Wait, the opposite!

  49. #49
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Just went down to the coffee shop to grab a bowl of soup for lunch.

    The beef and vegetable puree has an "Ocean Friendly" logo.

    I am totally glad the cattle and carrots weren't caught using tuna-killing drag nets.

  50. #50
    Administrator CatInASuit's avatar
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    Just discovered my new least favourite hobby.

    Painting a wall outside in strong winds. Splatters everywhere.
    In the land of the blind, the one-arm man is king.

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