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Thread: The NSFW make-up-a-funny X-rated comment or insult and try to do better than the last person RPG game

  1. #1
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Default The NSFW make-up-a-funny X-rated comment or insult and try to do better than the last person RPG game

    Yeah, so this is like how I wake up in the AM and go to sleep at night. Not trying to find anything, but I like to think of funny things to say.

    Don't try very hard or at all, they just kind of are part of my inner monologue.

    Don't have anything for the first sally, but some expressions I thought were good:

    strong as a tranny's twat.

    vigorously stimulate that split-tail.

    insult:
    put a diaper on you, give a cordless electric knife, and put you in a backyard swimming pool filled with sharks.

    pick-up lines:
    I think about licking your little box dry.

    As a dog returns to his vomit, so a fool repeats his folly.

    This is going to be like uncle's day at a whorehouse.

    Can't wait to see what you juveniles come up with.

    Oh yeah, those last three and this line aren't things, that's just me talking or whatever.ETA those first two of the last three are quotes from stuff.still just me talking.
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 03 Mar 2014 at 05:02 PM.

  2. #2
    Member Elendil's Heir's avatar
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    Your grandmother swims after troopships.

  3. #3
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Keep this up, and I'll be on you like your wife on a hobo's tool.

  4. #4
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    OK. You guys clearly are not doing good.

    I can't remember, but I'm thinking more along the lines of the opening paragraphs of Lyotard in that one thing he did, about flaying a dolphin's skin or some shit, or some of Bataille's short "stories."

    Even Pauline Re'age and M. de Sade had more spice!

    Think about what you say.

    And then double it.

    There is no expression too crude to be said on the internet. I just can't think of anything good now.

    I like the theme of diapers on adults and electric knives, though.

  5. #5
    Member Elendil's Heir's avatar
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    Your daddy refills cream donuts.

  6. #6
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Post-holer in the urethra while I split your disgusting crack open in your mouth, while your mother wears moon boots.

    And the person I gave my adult moon boots took a shit in them, cut your cats head off, spun it around a while, and crammed it up your own bleeding neckhole while I took a necktie and choke-fucked you with a goddammed son of sam piece of swordship up your stupid head.

  7. #7
    Member Elendil's Heir's avatar
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    You have questionable taste in footwear.

  8. #8
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Yeah, well, at least I did a solid today while just now taking a D in one of my favorite "quiet floors" of the uni libr. so I was taking a healthy D after a .......... weird night. Have I slept? No. Did I drink a bunch of whiskey? Yes! did I drink alone? nope. Was Leonor Watkin there?

    Oh yeah so I was getting ready to wipe my ass and I hear an unnatural "thud" on the floor. Some moron's smartphone. Am I an asshole? Probably. Did I totally "score" by finding a solid sender at the circ desk who knows me a bit who took down what floor and in what conditions I found the offender's phone.

    That must have been an epic shit if you don't even notice if a fancy phone gets left behind.

    I will also clear the room of your debris with a cargo shorts.

    That's lame. But it's been an epic day so far -- I guess maybe I can get by with the proper motivation than fewer than my usual 8 hours.

    Any fucking queen who thinks they can brag on "zomg 6 hours and I'm good" is a fucking nerd.

    fuckers.

    more later.

    also u all suck, it's like i'm talking to myself.

  9. #9
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Yeah, well, at least I did a solid today while just now taking a D in one of my favorite "quiet floors" of the uni libr. so I was taking a healthy D after a .......... weird night. Have I slept? No. Did I drink a bunch of whiskey? Yes! did I drink alone? nope. Was Leonor Watkin there?

    Oh yeah so I was getting ready to wipe my ass and I hear an unnatural "thud" on the floor. Some moron's smartphone. Am I an asshole? Probably. Did I totally "score" by finding a solid sender at the circ desk who knows me a bit who took down what floor and in what conditions I found the offender's phone.

    That must have been an epic shit if you don't even notice if a fancy phone gets left behind.

    I will also clear the room of your debris with a cargo shorts.

    That's lame. But it's been an epic day so far -- I guess maybe I can get by with the proper motivation than fewer than my usual 8 hours.

    Any fucking queen who thinks they can brag on "zomg 6 hours and I'm good" is a fucking nerd.

    fuckers.

    more later.

    also u all suck, it's like i'm talking to myself.

  10. #10
    Member Elendil's Heir's avatar
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    You can say that again!

  11. #11
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    No!!!!

    U!

    Ur not contributory poster to good thing about saying bad things!

    Wear a man-diaper over a crotch-face!

    ETA I did put that library clerk in the friend zone like a year ago I been seeing her -- she knows me, I know, but now on very little sleep I think I might upgrade her to someone-who-will-help-hook-me-up-with-one-of-the-older-library-wimmin-who-sometimes-get-stuck-working-circ-including-especially-the-old-chick-my-age-who-has-a-SUPER-cute-butt.

    Screw you! Creepy is someone who dissembles what they think. No one has ever accused me of that, like little lying hiders.
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 04 Mar 2014 at 01:17 PM.

  12. #12
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    oh, not "seeing" her, just someone I recognize because unlike these stupid fucking buttbreaths who don't study, don't read, and don't fucking do jack shit except play fucking video games and "study," I actually perform research, therefore I know these people right down to the cameltoes. And they mine.

    gordita

    stop making me say nice things that's not what thread is.

    haircut trim l**** m***** and st*** ** in**** y*** m**** wh*** ** c****** ***

    stop being gross

    ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!

    am so butthurt.......................................... ............

    don't be gross!!!!


    ok, now i'm getting saucy!!!!

    give me a minute or an hour or whatever

  13. #13
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    also any adult who is doing anything with another sexuated adult besides boning, including "seeing," "being boyfriend/girlfriend" or whatever is a fucking child who needs to have the glans of their clit shaved off with a belt sander, and that includes the shrimp dicks too.

    god damned it, is that a thing outside of stunted adults?

    no offense.

    adults do not "go on dates," or "have girlfriends" -- what the fuck is wrong with you people? shack up, fuck off, screw off. don't pollute my field with your idiotspeak.

    ok, not a good expression, but maybe something could be done with 'shut the fuck up, fuck off, screw off," or something like that. Have to preserve some semantic content, though.

    yeah, so go do that one, you bunch of fucking lames.

  14. #14
    Mi parolas esperanton malbone Trojan Man's avatar
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    I would use your momma's panties as a strainer to make soup, but I would would end up with more chunks than if I used no strainer at all.


    Is that what you wanted?

  15. #15
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Yeah, that's pretty good.

    Now let me see your real war face.

  16. #16
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by spitz View post
    I would use your momma's panties as a strainer to make soup, but I would would end up with more chunks than if I used no strainer at all.
    Your momma's so thick her crotch soup is like a split pea with ham.

    eta well, I'm not saying it's an improvement, just saying you had a good idea. where'd you steal it off of?

    verbum vincet hey momma, i can smell your milk. is your pelvis as flexible as it looks. "I cover my organ so that I may not catch your wretchedness."
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 11 Mar 2014 at 01:17 AM.

  17. #17
    Mi parolas esperanton malbone Trojan Man's avatar
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    I just made it up. Some would say it's a gift...

  18. #18
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    No.

  19. #19
    Mi parolas esperanton malbone Trojan Man's avatar
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    Yes, I no yo momma very very well.

  20. #20
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Yeah, well, same thing but with your sister.

  21. #21
    Mi parolas esperanton malbone Trojan Man's avatar
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    Ah, so THAT'S where your pussy sore came from...

  22. #22
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Yeah my pops said something once about pus and the puss. Now I think a doc is going to put a needle up my uretha.

    Sure is a mystery where you people get all these diseases associated with large farm animals.

  23. #23
    Mi parolas esperanton malbone Trojan Man's avatar
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    That's no way to talk about your mother. Sure she's a bit noisy in the sack, but that's OK.

  24. #24
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Her brother is the one noisy in the sack. My mother is quieter than shit!

    Oh....well...wait....same with you. Dummy.

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