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Thread: The hilarious omnibus banking thread

  1. #1
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Default The hilarious omnibus banking thread

    I actually like the few legitimate international bankers I have known through the years, as well as many in ancillary financial professions.

    I always have to laugh at the choices they make when, aside from branch-local managers of certain departments who tend, IME, to be kind, well-spoken, and accomodating-to-a-fault without being obsequoious, they choose to present themselves in writing, as:

    "Your account is overdrawn, a situation that could have long term negative consequences. Take action and resolve your overdraft."

    That's hilarious. Dude, it's a checking account. Chillax! Harrison Fire is in the next door down!

    Seriously, exactly who is in charge of writing this kind of thing? I think it's either one retard, chained up like Chunk from *Goonies*, or it's actually no single person and is like my computer opponent at Bridge who lets me and my computer buddy run up 4000 points on it, like a train.

    Eh, I thought it was hilarious, because....it just sounded funny.

  2. #2
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    "Take action and resolve your overdraft"? Did they add "Herein fail not, for you shall answer the contrary at your peril"?

  3. #3
    Elen síla lumenn' omentielvo What Exit?'s avatar
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    It is clearly a side business to writing the fortunes of the fortune cookies.

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    Member Elendil's Heir's avatar
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    While I understand your sentiments, Jizzelbin, allow me to suggest that using the term "retard" is not the most polite way to express them.

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    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    OK.

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    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Oh, here's a fucking good one, in a WTF way. Apparently my bank doesn't accept deposit of checks via ATM anymore.

    So, per instructions, I go ahead and scan both sides of some paychecks, which is hassle n1, and find that their mechanism for deposit is ONLY to use a smartphone app.

    So, sure, I'm like "yeah yeah, fine, I'll just ..." Yeah. They are serious. Sure, I can hack my Linux box or my Chrome OS to run their "app," but do these guys understand that THAT IS A SUPER FUCKING PAIN UP MY ASS?????

    WTF dickbags.

    I'm going to have to fucking MAIL IN my fucking endorsed checks to these scumbags? Jesus fucking christ, differently-abled morons.

  7. #7
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday View post
    "Take action and resolve your overdraft"? Did they add "Herein fail not, for you shall answer the contrary at your peril"?
    Reading that again, that got an LOL from me. "Here me now, legion, and take arms against usury!"

  8. #8
    Content Generator AllWalker's avatar
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    Wait.

    As in you can't submit over the plain-ol', desktop-based, big-screened, just-the-way-mamma-used-to-make-it internet anymore? You have to use a smart phone (or a clumsy simulation of one)?

    Far out. They've embraced the 21st Century so thoroughly that they somehow popped out in the 18th
    Something tells me we haven't seen the last of foreshadowing.

  9. #9
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    You got it! You *can* run android apps on chromeos or linux, but, trust me, it's a hassle. And no guarantee it will work.

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