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11 Dec 2015 03:53 PM
#501
Oliphaunt
any decent person tells them to fuck off, or makes a threatening, but legal, gesture.
The reason people are angry is ___________________-
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11 Dec 2015 04:05 PM
#502
Member
a lack of appreciation for just how good they have it, compared to those living in any Third World hellhole.
A healthy sense of perspective is _______________
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11 Dec 2015 04:38 PM
#503
Mi parolas esperanton malbone
difficult to maintain, but important to strive for.
I am grateful __________
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11 Dec 2015 04:53 PM
#504
Oliphaunt
that people are angry, so that I can tell them to fuck off.
Raining isn't like pissing, it's _______________________
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11 Dec 2015 10:24 PM
#505
Member
actually drinkable, unless you live somewhere with bad air pollution.
I think all stinky factories should be _______________
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12 Dec 2015 03:33 AM
#506
Mi parolas esperanton malbone
built beside places of government.
If Trump becomes President, _______________
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12 Dec 2015 09:33 PM
#507
Member
I would be both very surprised and very uneasy.
If Trump doesn't become President, _______________
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13 Dec 2015 12:39 AM
#508
Mi parolas esperanton malbone
we'll still have Jeb Bush and other dipsticks to worry about.
If it's true that we gets the politicians we deserve, _______________________
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13 Dec 2015 03:18 PM
#509
Oliphaunt
America is fucked.
Asking a cop to _____________________
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13 Dec 2015 08:58 PM
#510
Member
recommend a good donut shop is probably a bad idea.
If you offered me a donut right now, I'd ___________
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18 Dec 2015 07:26 PM
#511
Oliphaunt
drop it on the pavement in front of a cop, then pick it up, because littering is no laughing matter.
I saw a lady, thirty-something was her age, driving a big fat __________________
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18 Dec 2015 10:54 PM
#512
Member
gas-guzzler and laughing maniacally as she smeared lipstick all over her face; of course I stayed well out of her way.
My favorite color of lipstick is ___________
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18 Dec 2015 11:21 PM
#513
Oliphaunt
gibbon-ass red, like a cherry.
People who desire to go to Cuba ________________________
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19 Dec 2015 02:54 PM
#514
Member
usually like warm weather, sandy beaches and cheap lodging more than Castro and communism.
It would be best if Fidel Castro just ___________
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19 Dec 2015 04:25 PM
#515
Oliphaunt
spoke for twenty hours straight on modern mechanized farming equipment, using a Stephen Hawking voice robot.
Lee Harvey Oswald wasn't _______________________
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20 Dec 2015 01:31 AM
#516
Member
brought to trial for the murders of President John F. Kennedy and Dallas Police Officer J.D. Tippit, which is a shame, as it might have quashed a lot of dopey conspiracy theories since.
Next time I'm in Dallas, I'll definitely _________
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20 Dec 2015 01:08 PM
#517
Oliphaunt
wear a giant novelty hat and a belt buckle that shines good.
First thing to do at the Alamo is _______________________
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20 Dec 2015 03:41 PM
#518
Member
declare loudly, "That Santa Anna had a good idea; he just stopped too damn soon!"
Angry Texans will probably _____________
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22 Dec 2015 11:57 PM
#519
Oliphaunt
grab a bull's horn and get some nachos for the border.
The nice thing about the Western territories is that during the Civil War _________________________
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26 Dec 2015 10:49 PM
#520
Member
they largely occupied themselves with bison-grooming and amateur musicals.
Wyoming bison-grooming is generally ______________
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28 Dec 2015 07:42 PM
#521
Oliphaunt
appreciated by bison: this lady I was shacked up with definitely liked being groomed.
The nicest thing about Xmas is that it's __________________
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29 Dec 2015 01:02 AM
#522
Member
actually about three months long these days.
I swear, if the Christmas songs start on the radio any sooner next year, I'll _______________
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30 Dec 2015 06:03 PM
#523
Oliphaunt
stop listening to the radio and wear earplugs/earbuds+good jams everywhere appropriate.
Everytime I get an actual coupon for free or deep-discount desirable stuff in the mail, it's __________________________________
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31 Dec 2015 11:34 AM
#524
Member
for a mall in Nairobi and expired a week ago.
The last time I was in Nairobi, of course I _________________
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02 Jan 2016 08:27 AM
#525
Oliphaunt
traded a white elephant for a satchel of grass.
It turns out that elephants, while easy to ___________________________
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02 Jan 2016 02:50 PM
#526
Member
see on the plains of Africa, are quite adept at hiding on the tundra.
My favorite thing about the tundra is _________
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27 Nov 2017 02:18 PM
#527
I won't have to replace my lawnmower for decades.
The only regret in joining a long term polygamous relationship is_________
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27 Nov 2017 07:55 PM
#528
Oliphaunt
that I never went on to master multivariate shrew-taming.
The best thing about drinking a cup of coffee is _______________________________.
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27 Nov 2017 09:57 PM
#529
my 64 ounce coffee mug.
I wonder if I should peel that cucumber before I put it in my____________
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27 Nov 2017 10:53 PM
#530
Oliphaunt
Long John Silver's commemorative birthday basket.
Mr. Dingle, the Strong, lifted twelve or _____________
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28 Nov 2017 01:01 AM
#531
thirteen antiperspirant sticks from the store shelf without getting caught.
If he could live his life over, he________________
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28 Nov 2017 11:56 AM
#532
Member
would've said right away, "Wow, almost two years later, this thread has come back to life!"
Another thread that deserves resurrection is ______________________________
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28 Nov 2017 03:53 PM
#533
the one about that thing those people were talking about...you know-the thing.
She never thought in a million years that it could possibly fit, as she_____________
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28 Nov 2017 06:26 PM
#534
Oliphaunt
had worn the chastity belt so long her labia were fused together.
Ironically, the only thing the sect was immoderate about was __________________________.
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28 Nov 2017 07:45 PM
#535
fence-sitting.
Maybe taking the red pill and the blue pill together was a bad idea, Neo thought, as____________
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28 Nov 2017 08:02 PM
#536
Oliphaunt
he remembered that drinking a bunch of Robitussin was next on his list, not taking more pills.
To acquire a strong taste one must ________________.
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29 Nov 2017 01:38 PM
#537
never bathe.
Maybe I shouldn't have spent all my Powerball winnings on_____________________
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29 Nov 2017 09:42 PM
#538
Member
Trump Second Inaugural tickets.
The next Presidential tweet will probably be about _______________
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30 Nov 2017 10:47 PM
#539
Oliphaunt
mail-order brides, Christmas magic, and loose stool.
"Jingle Bells" played on the speakers as Dirk got ready to put his fist _______________________
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01 Dec 2017 01:57 PM
#540
Member
through the surprised face of the Christmas-party DJ.
The last time our office had a holiday party, I must admit I ________________________________
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01 Dec 2017 08:54 PM
#541
Oliphaunt
said to my boss that Elon Bezos deserves to be raped by Louis CK while sucking on Kevin Spacey's root.
The next day I drove _____________________.
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03 Dec 2017 12:32 AM
#542
Member
very dutifully to corporate HQ, as ordered, to submit my letter of immediate resignation and waiver of all pension benefits.
In my next job, if I ever get hired again, I hope to ___________________
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03 Dec 2017 03:07 PM
#543
Oliphaunt
surreptitiously compile.
"Wait, which Sugar Ray is the _______________________________"
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03 Dec 2017 03:53 PM
#544
Member
boxer, which is the rapper, and which is the alien who has been secretly studying human society for decades in order to pave the way for an invasion?
When the aliens finally invade, ___________________
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05 Dec 2017 01:23 AM
#545
Oliphaunt
they will choose human representatives from the childless elite.
Milking and feeding machines are always dressed _____________________________.
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05 Dec 2017 01:59 PM
#546
Member
very oddly aboard all the alien starships I've visited.
Speaking of aliens, my Great Aunt Edna is firmly convinced that _______________________
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12 Dec 2017 03:51 PM
#547
Oliphaunt
ANCIENT ASTRONAUTS ZOMG!!! built, like, pretty much the world and stuff.
Drinking sixteen beers in a sitting is not that great, because ________________________.
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13 Dec 2017 12:36 AM
#548
Member
then you really, really have to pee but can barely stand up.
Of all the bodily functions, urination is _________________
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13 Dec 2017 01:46 AM
#549
Oliphaunt
the one that burns with the fire of a thousand suns.
Feeling the warm fuzzies is ___________________
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13 Dec 2017 05:21 PM
#550
Member
particularly nice this time of year.
TNP has a Christmas tree already.
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