nothing, not one damned thing.
The last person who crossed me ended up with a _________________________________
nothing, not one damned thing.
The last person who crossed me ended up with a _________________________________
one-way ticket to Blawnox, pal.
If you're just visiting Blawnox for the weekend, you really must _____________
get out the hand-sanitizer.
To walk to Blawnox, you must have ________________________
a very comfortable pair of shoes and lots of time.
Of course, everyone knows that the most famous person from Blawnox was ____________
that groundhog from the morning TV shows.
Blawnox is a nice place to drive through, but sure wouldn't_________________________________
want to detonate an H-bomb on the courthouse square.
If I had an H-bomb, I'd probably _____________
detonate an H-bomb on the courthouse square.
TNP is looking forward to Gallen getting put in his place tonight woot woot.
Wrong thread!
Gallen getting put in his place ________________________
with a caduceus in his hand, stopped getting Ascelpius's cock.
The next time people drive like _______________________________.
Mario Andretti, they should get the traffic tickets to prove it.
I had a traffic ticket once, but I ______________________
told the cop the check was in the mail.
Old Jack Burton always says _______________________________.
"Never believe a traffic violator who says the check is in the mail."
This summer I really wanna ____________________
bone some Gidgets on the beach.
And the next time you see Gidget, ________________________________________.
ask her if Jizzelbin made her... smile.
Sex on the beach is great unless ________________
you're a lady and expose your vag to a lot of sand.
Power-tool accidents are __________________
usually deserved by the people who have them.
Cruel indifference to the suffering of others ______________
is an amusing past-time, and a great way to ignore one's own pain.
The last time I saw a person drowning, __________________________________
I considered making bets with other bystanders as to how long he would last.
Getting lifesaving training from the Red Cross is ___________
like pissing into the wind.
Trust the Flying Nun, and you'll _____________________________
never pay First Class airfare again.
The Pope's latest encyclical is about the environment; if you ask me, _____________
he's full of hot air.
The Pope is a man who takes his pants off ______________________________
only rarely, since he typically wears a cassock.
If the Pope invited me to dinner, I'd __________________
suck his root and come in my pants.
If the Pope took his vestements off, I might __________________________
take a picture for all my Catholic friends.
The next time I go to the Vatican, ____________
I'll make sure to make sure my cassock is tight.
The last time I smelled incense, I ______________________________________
realized I was dreaming of being Pope.
If I were Pope, you can bet _______________
I'd write heroic couplets in satire.
I just had a frenzied argument with a friend who insisted Pope's style was________________________________
no better than Byron's or Wordsworth's style.
Of all the Romantic poets, I'd have to say _____________
Hoelderlin was about the coolest.
Of those of Byronic tendencies, _______________________
a cape, dark tousled hair and a brooding manner are essential.
Last time I wore a cape, ____________
I was sucked into a jet engine...
There's no business like _________
In the land of the blind, the one-arm man is king.
running a cheese shop that actually has no cheese.
If I want a nice piece of cheese, I'll _________________
fight the mice for it, mano a mouse-o
Raindrops keep falling on my head, _________
In the land of the blind, the one-arm man is king.
so I sued Burt Bacharach.
Famous musicians keep coming over to my house and _________________
getting their filthy mitts all over my dusty keys.
The next person who doesn't clean up ________________
my piano is the person I am sure to marry.
I want a big wedding at a fancy church, but ____________
I wear three socks to bed every night, so no need for that mishegas.
Freedom may be just another word, but it doesn't matter because _____________________
I'm secretly making plans to move to North Korea.
The best thing about living in North Korea is __________
the guidance provided by the government.
If I ever met Kim Jong-un, ____________
I'd throw him a sausage party.
Once, I saw a man named Kim, _____________
and thought he was a brutal, near-mad, North Korean dynastic tyrant, but I was wrong; he was just named Kim.
Kim is a funny name for a dude if _________
he eats kim chi but doesn't look the slightest bit Korean.
If I were given free kim chi, ______
I'd probably give it away; I've had it before and don't care for it.
This Christmas, I really wanna _________________
Take a double dose of LSD, while avoiding the shopping malls.
For mental hygiene, it's best to _____________
avoid thinking about Christmas shopping for as long as possible.
When I just have to get a particular gift for a loved one, I've been known to _________
develop tunnel vision and stomp over people to get it.
This Christmas, I will ________________
do my very best not to stomp over people - but no promises.
If you drink eggnog, be sure to _______________
drink a shitload of it and not get thrown in the drunk tank, because, holiday.
George Eliot has a way with ________________
little children that really makes me wonder if he should've been a nursery-school teacher.
The thing I most remember about nursery school is ________________
getting expelled for hitting a guy on the head with a Tonka truck (true story).
When someone makes me angry, ______________
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