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04 Sep 2021 02:45 AM
#751
Mi parolas esperanton malbone
sausages, as they have sex on the brain.
If an Alsatian licks your face, ________
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04 Sep 2021 10:29 AM
#752
Member
I'd suggest you wash thoroughly.
(Welcome back, Trojan Man!)
The last time I met an Alsatian woman, I ________________
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04 Sep 2021 12:24 PM
#753
Oliphaunt
thought she should ease up on the beer-drinking.
Bon Scott's last known words were _____________________.
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05 Sep 2021 02:09 AM
#754
Mi parolas esperanton malbone
GLURBLE GLURBLE GLURBLE.
If I were twice as smart as I am, _________
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06 Sep 2021 02:24 PM
#755
Member
my Great Aunt Edna would be half as smart as she is now, by comparison.
Red staplers are all well and good, but what I really need for my desk is ______________
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08 Sep 2021 11:20 PM
#756
Oliphaunt
a clandestine compartment within which to store "valuables."
Washing ten dishes and two dozen pieces of cutlery is all well and good,
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09 Sep 2021 06:27 AM
#757
Mi parolas esperanton malbone
until you stack them carelessly on the drying rack and they fall and smash on the floor like the clumsy fucks they are.
If mello were any more quiet, __________
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09 Sep 2021 11:02 AM
#758
Oliphaunt
it would be loud.
Women blatantly hiding and disguising themselves from Jizzelbin makes _________________________.
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09 Sep 2021 11:36 AM
#759
Mi parolas esperanton malbone
sense.
Every time I see Jizzelbin's avatar, I _________
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09 Sep 2021 10:55 PM
#760
Member
have to resist the urge to call a CIA friend of mine and ask him to find someone who can tell me what it means.
The last time I visited CIA HQ in Langley, Va., I have to admit, I _______________
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11 Sep 2021 08:17 AM
#761
Oliphaunt
wore sunglasses and an earpiece and trawled the local fish markets.
When a credit union approves an unsecured loan, it is always ____________________.
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11 Sep 2021 10:56 PM
#762
Member
going to be in their best financial interest. Unless it's not.
I got an unsecured loan once to buy the Brooklyn Bridge, but lemme tell ya, ______________
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12 Sep 2021 08:51 AM
#763
Oliphaunt
once I bought it, I got really tired of cleaning and painting it: those steel cables ____________________________.
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12 Sep 2021 08:25 PM
#764
Member
are the very definition of "high maintenance."
After I sold the bridge in 2005 to some other sucker, though, you can be sure I ___________
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12 Sep 2021 09:18 PM
#765
Mi parolas esperanton malbone
invested the money in a pyramid scheme and lost it forever.
A watched pot ________
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12 Sep 2021 09:38 PM
#766
Oliphaunt
of honey is better known as a honey pot in décolletage.
The honeydripper is known far and wide as the ______________________.
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12 Sep 2021 10:04 PM
#767
Mi parolas esperanton malbone
Thing That Drips Honey.
The thing I like best about toenail clippings is __________
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13 Sep 2021 10:04 AM
#768
Member
picking them all up afterwards and throwing them out.
I clip my toenails almost every month or so, unless, of course, ________________________
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13 Sep 2021 10:15 AM
#769
Oliphaunt
they are a fricking mess and cannot be trimmed any closer without cutting into skin.
The worst thing about joining a Facebook "dating" group is ________________.
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14 Sep 2021 03:23 AM
#770
Mi parolas esperanton malbone
using Facebook.
I would delete my Facebook account if __________________________
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14 Sep 2021 08:57 AM
#771
Member
only Mommy would let me, but you know her!
Well, time for me to nip on down to the pharmacy for condoms, toothpaste and ______________________
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14 Sep 2021 10:14 AM
#772
Oliphaunt
and a box of laxatives.
The only good times to use condoms are when a guy or gal has ________________________.
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14 Sep 2021 10:27 AM
#773
Member
to, I mean just has to, make the beast with two backs, but also wants to avoid makin' babies, and chemical means are not available.
On a beautiful early-fall day like this, there's nothing I like more than ___________________
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14 Sep 2021 12:08 PM
#774
Mi parolas esperanton malbone
splash around in piles of leaves, urinate at the base of trees, and lick my gonads.
Now that I know about mammatus clouds, _______________________________________
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14 Sep 2021 10:09 PM
#775
Oliphaunt
I should probably find out what the hell they are.
Loud beasts, including humans, should be ______________________________.
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14 Sep 2021 10:46 PM
#776
Mi parolas esperanton malbone
punched in the throat until they shut up.
When the sun comes up, _______________
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15 Sep 2021 09:55 AM
#777
Member
the xenomorphs mostly go back into hiding and waiting. Mostly.
The last time I saw Aliens, I nearly _________________
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19 Sep 2021 04:54 PM
#778
Mi parolas esperanton malbone
actually sat down and watched it.
When I smell freshly cut grass, __________________________
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19 Sep 2021 08:18 PM
#779
Oliphaunt
I move my hand.
Van Morrison is a fairly big _______________________________.
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19 Sep 2021 08:34 PM
#780
Mi parolas esperanton malbone
dickhead.
Eric Clapton should __________________
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20 Sep 2021 08:33 AM
#781
Oliphaunt
probably go get bent, for he is also a dickhead.
Something about the British ______________________.
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20 Sep 2021 03:28 PM
#782
Member
Museum calls to me, even all this way across the Atlantic.
I can't believe Ted Lasso won all those Emmys last night; it's a great show, but I really ___________________
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21 Sep 2021 04:12 PM
#783
Oliphaunt
genuinely don't know what it is, just that people like it, apparently.
Whenever you get an e-mail asking you to complete a survey, you should ______________________________.
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23 Sep 2021 06:40 AM
#784
Member
make another generous donation to the Get People to Stop Pestering Me via Email Fund.
More on Ted Lasso (about a third-tier American football coach hired to lead a struggling British soccer team): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ted_Lasso
This morning I have to drive to Tennessee, but tomorrow ___________________
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23 Sep 2021 09:26 AM
#785
Oliphaunt
I'll be free of the curse, as the travelling fortune-teller predicted.
The preferred nomenclature for "dickbreath" is ______________.
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25 Sep 2021 03:52 PM
#786
Mi parolas esperanton malbone
Post-truther.
Christian fundamentalists ________
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25 Sep 2021 06:45 PM
#787
Oliphaunt
don't know that just as sure as a woman is wet, Warm Daddy is going to get them yet. (Pace Eddie Bo, NOLA songwriter and singer)
Whenever someone says "That's the kind of sugar papa likes," the women are like ___________________________________.
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27 Sep 2021 12:21 PM
#788
Member
all weak in the knees, you know, and panting, "OMG, where have you been all my life, you irresistibly sexy piece of manflesh?"
If you really believe that, I'd like to talk to you about the Brooklyn Bridge, which ______________________
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29 Sep 2021 12:49 AM
#789
Oliphaunt
is my pleasure to hand on over, and once we meet with my business associate and complete some pro forma paperwork, will soon be yours!
Spending a few hours randomly hanging out with a former lady friend is neither ____________________________________________.
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30 Sep 2021 02:57 PM
#790
Member
likely to lead to getting your house painted, nor to acquiring the deed for the Brooklyn Bridge.
Next time I'm in NYC, I'm definitely gonna ______________________________
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30 Sep 2021 10:55 PM
#791
Oliphaunt
bring my guitar up to the Brooklyn Bridge and just play for a bit.
One should probably shave and shower before being served by beautiful young ______________________________________.
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01 Oct 2021 10:08 AM
#792
Member
supermodels in easily-removable French maid outfits, as happened to me in Boston this one time, by which I mean, never.
Boston is famous for the Statehouse, its gardens, its broad accent, its terrible traffic and, of course, _________________________
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01 Oct 2021 02:37 PM
#793
Oliphaunt
an....unusual...accent among the plebes.
Duck-taping a sign to one's front porch saying "For all non-ADA compliant service canines, Free Food! No above-ground strychine included!" is __________________________________.
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05 Oct 2021 04:38 PM
#794
Member
just about par for the course for our beloved Jizz.
I would golf a lot more, if it weren't for _______________________
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05 Oct 2021 09:16 PM
#795
Oliphaunt
my job of having to kill all the gophers.
The best thing about being soaked to the bone in rain water is having to change clothes in ______________________________________.
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06 Oct 2021 07:27 PM
#796
Member
your luxurious mansion after being dried and rubbed down with thick, heated towels by your favorite beautiful actress and/or leggy supermodel.
The only time I buy Sports Illustrated is when _________________
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07 Oct 2021 10:57 AM
#797
Oliphaunt
I need to convince myself I'm a regular man's man dudebro.
Repeatedly running into this damned woman at the bar __________________________________.
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13 Oct 2021 12:09 PM
#798
Member
has made me decide to actually open my eyes and not rely on echolocation.
The two, no, the three big advantages bats have over us is ________________
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13 Oct 2021 09:55 PM
#799
Oliphaunt
they survive exclusively on human blood, they're also vampires in disguise, and you can comfort your woman when they get stuck in her hair.
The only thing better than chowing down on an excellent burger and fries at a bar is ____________________________.
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14 Oct 2021 12:34 PM
#800
Member
adding cheddar cheese, bacon and A-1 Sauce to the burger, and getting a side of seasoned fries and a dill pickle.
That all sounds delicious, but the last time I ordered pub grub, _____________________________
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