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Thread: Life in the City

  1. #51
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    So, I'm at work on Saturday, which, hey, it happens.

    Under my window, I hear a demonstration going by. They are chanting "Hey Ho, Hey Ho, GMOs have got to go!", which hey, credit for high level of originality and cogent argument.

    I look out my window and see them go by. Remember the South Park episode where Cartman fights the hippies? it's come to life, except for Cartman and his hippie borer.

    Cliches come from some place.

    Life in the city.

  2. #52
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Awesome. Those people are terrible, loud, and annoying. I think Canadian police are probably allowed to use tasers -- or maybe cattle prods. Wait a minute, no, be extra nice to them so they'll all migrate from the US. Especially from my town.

    I almost had a confrontation with some skateboarders on the train -- one of them asked me, out of the blue, "hey do you think you might have an extra cigarette?" I said something provocative, but not outright rude, in return, like "yeah, what are you going to smoke it on the train?" and it just got worse from there. These are the new hippies -- skateboarder tweaker hobo punks.

    If anything, a million times worse than the granola-head weed smokers.

  3. #53
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    So on my lunchtime walk, I pass a man and a woman.

    Him: "We're not divorced!"

    Her: "Yes you are!"

    I have no idea who they were, but I have a feeling that I will find out the next time a see a news story about a murder-suicide.

  4. #54
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday View post
    Him: "We're not divorced!"

    Her: "Yes you are!"
    Excellent. That's truly the kind of thing you only overhear on a proper city street. "You got divorce papers for me to sign, hon? --Yeah, right here in my foot."

  5. #55
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Scrawled drunkenly on a magenta Post-It note, overheard two days ago. I shit you not, this is what somebody said on the train:

    "The point of this song is that he took the time to tell me I was a jerk, and did it in such a way that I listened. The fact that I respected him already helped a great deal, but the fact that someone pulled me aside and explained to me that I was out of line made all the difference." (my note say "made all the DITw," but the rest is oddly specific to my "deal" that it's no wonder I bothered to write it down for funsies).

    Fucking weird world, that people would say that shit out loud sitting three feet from anybody. But I will say, it's mighty entertaining!
    "

  6. #56
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    And now that I read it, I have no idea what song he was talking about -- it definitely held my interest, though. IIRC he was some early-mid-20s dude in blue-collar work clothes and she was about the same, but more "put-together." This is the reason I'll never be a good novelist -- I'm not be caring about the details!

  7. #57
    Elen síla lumenn' omentielvo What Exit?'s avatar
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    14 minute commute by car, life in the burbs is not so bad. Though the 50 minute commute I use to do sucked pretty bad.

    Do wish I had a corner tavern though. Much about the city I would love but much that I would not.

  8. #58
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    That's a pretty astonishingly quick daily commute. I live in what I consider to be a suburb myself (realtors might put a spin on it, but......................not wanting to offend...........they CAN be differently-abled), but while I could drive into the city center in about 15 minutes, maybe 10, depending on exactly where and traffic, add parking on top of it, and measuring time from my front door to the front door of where I'm going, it's definitely more. Besides, I like sitting back, maybe having a cold beverage, playing a game of tablet chess, or listening to weird conversations or staring dead-eyed at people who for some reason are doing something I don't like.

    A non-transportation-related "city" tale from just now. OK, I admit nobody really should use the toilet at a public library, but I was there picking up an Angela Hewitt CD, and I wanted to drain the snake. So sue me. So there's some guy/whatever in the closed-door crapper, but a urinal is free, so I use it.

    Now, I'm an old man and sometimes a few deep breaths helps me uncork the spigot. Not annoyingly loud sighs or whatever, just takes a few seconds sometimes to think of England. Accidentally brushed my umbrella handle against the closed door to the toilet and whispered/muttered, "sorry." Wash my hands.

    Guy from within says, "could you hold it down with the sound effects?"

    Can you believe that?

    I say, "screw you," tuck my umbrella under my arm and as leaving the head he mutters something else I couldn't make out. So I called him a faggot and that was that.

    But, like I was saying, that's of no surprise to anyone.

    Wow, exciting stuff. Not.

  9. #59
    Oliphaunt The Original An Gadaí's avatar
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    A woman gets on the bus at my stop every morning and loudly tells the driver where she is going, she pays with coins not a Leapcard, and then asks him when she is getting off if this is the right stop. Her journey is barely 500 metres but the sound of her voice is like nails on a blackboard to me. I cringe when I see her at the stop.

  10. #60
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Every morning?

    Life in the city.

  11. #61
    Member Elendil's Heir's avatar
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    I've gotten into the habit of listening to books on tape when I'm driving to and from work. Right now it's The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker, my book club's latest pick. A good use of what might otherwise seem wasted time.

  12. #62
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    I would have thought tapes of Hitler's Churchill's speeches. Maybe some rousing Sousa marches. Only partly kidding about the Sousa -- I still pull out the vinyl if it's late at night and I'm wasted.

  13. #63
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Dude driving the "Live, Organic, Raw" truck was drinking a McDonald's coffee.

  14. #64
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday View post
    World wide fucking death sentence.
    Me too. I don't think it would work out so well for me, probably get on some kind of list.

    Quote Originally posted by The Original An Gadaí View post
    Just moved into the bona fide city and it is nice. Today, on my way to an ATM I encountered a man who was so inebriated he was communicating with a drain, then after that the most almighty horrendous breakup scenario. On my way back I noticed that Mr Inebriated had made his way to the other side of the street wherein he was pontificating to himself upon matters beyond our ken.
    So, Ireland, I'm guessing. Was he "mumbling," speaking Irish, or just plain soused? What city, BTW? Just make up one if you don't want to share the deets: just trying to get some idea of what we're talking abut.

    Quote Originally posted by Elendil's Heir View post
    Quote Originally posted by Jizzelbin View post
    That is about the most boring "Life in the city" story I have ever heard.

    Judas priest, couldn't you guys have fought with, like, knives or something?
    We did, of course, but I'd rather not go into details before the grand jury recesses. Duh.

    Quote Originally posted by The Original An Gadaí View post
    ...dozens of police, some on horseback, some with big vicious looking dogs, and paddy wagons galore....
    So Irishmen get to freely use the phrase "paddy wagon," eh? Definitely frowned upon on this side of the pond.
    Really? I find in the USA ethnic slurs against the French and the Irish are de rigueur. And, yet, there's some problem about talking about other ethnicities.

    Quote Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday View post
    Dude driving the "Live, Organic, Raw" truck was drinking a McDonald's coffee.
    I know the answer to this: meh, the people driving the truck are just working to pay the rent and they don't give a shit about all that crap.

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