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Thread: Now Burger King is using "artisan"-style buns. Ugh.

  1. #1
    For whom nothing is written. Oliveloaf's avatar
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    Default Now Burger King is using "artisan"-style buns. Ugh.

    Man, when a buzz word catches on, it sticks.

    With this post I officially whine about the food-marketing band wagon and my already being sick of anything "artisan."
    "I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."

    -Jim Rockford

  2. #2
    my god, he's full of stars... OneCentStamp's avatar
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    Yeah. Food buzzwords are annoying. I remember in the 80s, everything had to be "mesquite" grilled, even though mesquite is nasty as hell.

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    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    Remember chipotle everything?

    Looking at their website, it appears that an "artisan bun" = has lumps.
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  4. #4
    Oliphaunt The Original An Gadaí's avatar
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    Fried shit in ciabatta bread.

    Chicken goujons = flattened nuggets

    Panini = pretentious toastie

    Vegetarian option went from pasta with blah veggie sauce to goat's cheese everything.

    If you run a greasy spoon or a fast food joint just run a greasy spoon or fast food joint!

  5. #5
    my god, he's full of stars... OneCentStamp's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Zuul View post
    Looking at their website, it appears that an "artisan bun" = has lumps.
    Well, by that standard, I used to see quite a few people with artisan buns in Houston, walking around with inexcusably short shorts.

  6. #6
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by The Original An Gadaí View post
    Fried shit in ciabatta bread.

    Chicken goujons = flattened nuggets

    Panini = pretentious toastie

    Vegetarian option went from pasta with blah veggie sauce to goat's cheese everything.

    If you run a greasy spoon or a fast food joint just run a greasy spoon or fast food joint!
    I think that sort of stuff exists to try to appeal to the people who are a) pretentious, b) of a working class background and c) clueless. I knew several people when I was a teenager and into my early twenties who fit this bill. They had the sort of mentality where if you owned your own trailer you were rich and a trucker made an excellent husband because they made so much money. They would dream of going on "exotic" trips, and yet if they managed to go on one would be deeply disappointed that the rest of the world was in the 21st century as well and going east doesn't mean going back in time. They considered Olive Garden to be a fancy restaurant and would always order the same thing every time they went, for fear of eating something new.

    One of my friends like this excitedly dragged me to Jack in the Box once so that we could get sandwiches on ciabatta bread. I clearly remember sitting in her car, looking at this long, skinny fast food restaurant sandwich with delusions of grandeur, as she talked about how she wanted to go to Sicily and eat just like this every day.
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  7. #7
    For whom nothing is written. Oliveloaf's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Zuul View post
    ...she talked about how she wanted to go to Sicily and eat just like this every day.
    Sicily should sue her.
    "I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."

    -Jim Rockford

  8. #8
    For whom nothing is written. Oliveloaf's avatar
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    "I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."

    -Jim Rockford

  9. #9
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    And looking at those pizzas... Yep, "artisan" seems to mean "lumpy" in ad speak.
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  10. #10
    Oliphaunt The Original An Gadaí's avatar
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    True story but the food in the part of Italy I visited wasn't really as good as Olive Garden, only a local pizzeria was wowie. Other, expensive, local restaurants were kinda bland. This was in the mountains near Naples.

  11. #11
    Administrator CatInASuit's avatar
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    Artisan - two guys out back lumped some dough around into a funny shape and baked it for a couple of hours.
    In the land of the blind, the one-arm man is king.

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