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Thread: Things that should be punishable by a $50 fine

  1. #1
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Default Things that should be punishable by a $50 fine

    Not death, not even a horse-whipping, just enough of a punishment to be a disincentive.

    Making air quotes.

  2. #2
    Oliphaunt The Original An Gadaí's avatar
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    Saying "ohh that's a big word"

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    my god, he's full of stars... OneCentStamp's avatar
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    Writing a check, or using coupons, in the "10 items or fewer" line. At any store.

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    Member Elendil's Heir's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by The Original An Gadaí View post
    Saying "ohh that's a big word"
    I've never heard anyone say that. When do people do that to you?

    I would nominate the following heinous offenses:

    * modifying the adjective "unique" with any other word
    * texting Person 1 while you're talking to Person 2 face to face
    * failing to wave in acknowledgement when someone lets you cut into traffic
    * failing to hold an elevator for someone when it would delay you less than 20 seconds
    * waiting until you get to the fast-food restaurant counter to start thinking about what you're going to order
    * talking or texting in movies after being politely asked to stop
    * finishing juice, milk or a roll of toilet paper and then failing to immediately replace it
    * not confining your dog when you know your guest doesn't like to be jumped on

  5. #5
    Oliphaunt The Original An Gadaí's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Elendil's Heir View post
    Quote Originally posted by The Original An Gadaí View post
    Saying "ohh that's a big word"
    I've never heard anyone say that. When do people do that to you?
    OK it hasn't happened in a while, but in school and college if I or anyone else I knew used an unusual multisyllabic word that was often the comment we got. I was very crestfallen when I noticed people using it in college. It's essentially to take you down a peg.

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    Administrator CatInASuit's avatar
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    Standing at the top of the escalators looking round where to go next while blocking everyone trying to get off.
    In the land of the blind, the one-arm man is king.

  7. #7
    Prehistoric Bitchslapper Sarahfeena's avatar
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    Talking on a cell phone inside a store or restaurant for more than a couple minutes. Take your emergency call if you must, but it's not the place for a lengthy conversation.

  8. #8
    my god, he's full of stars... OneCentStamp's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Elendil's Heir View post
    * talking or texting in movies after being politely asked to stop
    I disagree here. This one is horse-whip-worthy.

  9. #9
    Oliphaunt
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    Walking slowly in the dead center of the sidewalk so that people have to move out into the street to get past you.

  10. #10
    Happy New Year! Trojan Man's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by The Original An Gadaí View post
    ...multisyllabic...
    ohh that's a big word

  11. #11
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Orual View post
    Walking slowly in the dead center of the sidewalk so that people have to move out into the street to get past you.
    But if you pull out your keys, ready to fight because you think that somebody who is close behind you in the sidewalk you're blocking in the middle of the day must be wanting to mug you -- that's a paddlin'!

  12. #12
    Oliphaunt
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    People who leave cabinet/microwave/toaster oven doors open, or who don't close the top of the copier when they're finished should be beaten to death with a tire iron.

  13. #13
    A Groupie Marsilia's avatar
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    Talking on your cell phone at the cash register.
    Dragging more merchandise than you'll possibly need to look at out of place in a store and leaving it.
    So, I'll whisper in the dark, hoping you'll hear me.

  14. #14
    Administrator CatInASuit's avatar
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    People who get to the front of a long queue and then try to work out what they wanted.
    In the land of the blind, the one-arm man is king.

  15. #15
    Aged Turtle Wizard Clothahump's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by OneCentStamp View post
    Quote Originally posted by Elendil's Heir View post
    * talking or texting in movies after being politely asked to stop
    I disagree here. This one is horse-whip-worthy.
    Agreed. Especially since there were at least two clips that ran in the previews that politely asked you to turn your cellphone off. I don't bother asking politely. I yell at them to turn the damn thing off.
    Political correctness will be the death of our country.

  16. #16
    Prehistoric Bitchslapper Sarahfeena's avatar
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    Driving slow in the left-hand lane.

    Pulling right in front of my driveway to sit at the red light instead of leaving me a bit of room to pull out. I'm sitting RIGHT THERE at the end of the drive, don't fucking pretend you don't see me.

    The converse: stopping your big-ass SUV to let me turn left into my driveway instead of just pulling up to the light. I can't see around you and I don't feel like getting creamed by someone in the next lane who doesn't know why you're sitting there in the middle of the block like an idiot.

    I have a lot of driving-related rage.

  17. #17
    A Groupie Marsilia's avatar
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    Using the letter "u" as a second person pronoun.

    Parking in front of my occupied driveway to wait for your kid to get out of school.
    So, I'll whisper in the dark, hoping you'll hear me.

  18. #18
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Talking to strangers in the subway to say anything more than "Is this where I get out for the Eaton Centre?". This might be rough on the handful of people who have something pleasant to say, but they're far out-numbered by the nuts, assholes and assholey nuts.

  19. #19
    For whom nothing is written. Oliveloaf's avatar
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    Asking questions about menu items at the drive-thru speaker.
    "I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."

    -Jim Rockford

  20. #20
    For whom nothing is written. Oliveloaf's avatar
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    Talking on the phone while paying for something.
    "I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."

    -Jim Rockford

  21. #21
    Member Elendil's Heir's avatar
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    Using business jargon more than once daily.

    Giving unsolicited childrearing advice.

    Leaving just a few drops of juice or milk in the container and not replacing it in the fridge.

  22. #22
    Global Moderator AllWalker's avatar
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    Condescendingly dismissing legitimate complaints with the #firstworldproblems tag.

    Luckily it's not though or I'd be out $50 right now.
    Something tells me we haven't seen the last of foreshadowing.

  23. #23
    Member Elendil's Heir's avatar
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    Failing to clean out the dryer lint trap at least every other wash.

    Failing to turn off the lights in a room when you leave.

    Failing to hang up a wet towel.

    Failing to replace the toilet paper roll.

  24. #24
    Wanna cuddle? RabbitMage's avatar
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    Leaving your shopping cart in an empty parking space/on a concrete barrier/in a planter instead of walking it to the cart return or (gasp!) the front of the store.

  25. #25
    Oliphaunt The Original An Gadaí's avatar
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    Paying for a pen or an eraser with a €50 note.

  26. #26
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by The Original An Gadaí View post
    Paying for a pen or an eraser with a €50 note.
    Heh, you could just keep the change and say, "That's your fine, mate."

  27. #27
    Oliphaunt The Original An Gadaí's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday View post
    Quote Originally posted by The Original An Gadaí View post
    Paying for a pen or an eraser with a €50 note.
    Heh, you could just keep the change and say, "That's your fine, mate."
    I wish to subscribe to your pamphlet.

  28. #28
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    Playing loud music early in the morning. Look, I know you're allowed to now. It's daytime! So just give me a fifty and I won't have to build an EMP ray to point at your car.
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  29. #29
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Saying "I WORK for a living", as if other people don't.

  30. #30
    Wanna cuddle? RabbitMage's avatar
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    Accelerating to push yourself just that ONE EXTRA CAR AHEAD when two lanes merge instead of going with the flow of traffic like everyone else who isn't a dipwad.

  31. #31
    Member Elendil's Heir's avatar
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    Taking the last ice cube from the tray and not making more ice.

  32. #32
    Elen síla lumenn' omentielvo What Exit?'s avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Elendil's Heir View post
    Taking the last ice cube from the tray and not making more ice.
    Man, I use to hate that, but seriously, no icemaker? I can't imagine having a fridge without one at this point.

  33. #33
    Member Elendil's Heir's avatar
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    Nope. Never have had one.

  34. #34
    Oliphaunt The Original An Gadaí's avatar
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    Icemakers are too noisy.

  35. #35
    Elen síla lumenn' omentielvo What Exit?'s avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Elendil's Heir View post
    Nope. Never have had one.
    I recommend them highly, but
    Quote Originally posted by The Original An Gadaí View post
    Icemakers are too noisy.
    An Gadaí is right, they are noisy.

  36. #36
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    I like the ice maker, but it did take me weeks to stop going "What the hell was that?" every time it crashed.

  37. #37
    Member Elendil's Heir's avatar
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    That reminds me I was in a friend's house one night when he wasn't there (with his permission, I hasten to say), and the noise of the icemaker freaked me out in the other room until I figured out what it was!

  38. #38
    my god, he's full of stars... OneCentStamp's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Elendil's Heir View post
    Nope. Never have had one.
    Same here, and artifex is constantly peeved at me for never making more ice than will fit in the two trays we have. They sit atop a big bin, but I never fill the bin.
    "You laugh at me because I'm different; I laugh at you because I'm on nitrous."

    find me at Goodreads

  39. #39
    Oliphaunt The Original An Gadaí's avatar
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    To get enough ice I tend to now put glasses in the freezer with an inch of water in them.

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