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Thread: Nerdy jokes

  1. #1
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Default Nerdy jokes

    The bartender says "We don't allow faster than light neutrinos in here."

    A faster than light neutrino walks into a bar.

  2. #2
    my god, he's full of stars... OneCentStamp's avatar
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    Real life conversation from the Stamp/artifex home:

    artifex: I made tabbouleh!
    OCS: Is it plain, or does it have all the mint and stuff?
    artifex: It has mint and parsley and everything else.
    OCS: I want to try it plain once. A tabbouleh rasa.
    artifex: That's just plain bulgur.
    OCS: It may be, but this is my house and I'll talk however I please.
    "You laugh at me because I'm different; I laugh at you because I'm on nitrous."

    find me at Goodreads

  3. #3
    Elen síla lumenn' omentielvo What Exit?'s avatar
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    A superconductor walks into a bar. The bartender says "we don't serve superconductors here." The superconductor leaves without putting up any resistance.

  4. #4
    Oliphaunt The Original An Gadaí's avatar
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    There are 10 types of people. Those who understand binary and those who don't.

  5. #5
    Member Elendil's Heir's avatar
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    Three statisticians go hunting. A deer runs by them. One shoots just ahead of the deer, and the other shoots just behind it. The third one shouts, "We got it!"

  6. #6
    Stegodon kk fusion's avatar
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    What is yellow, bent, and completely normed?

    - A Bananach space.

  7. #7
    Clueless but well-meaning Hatshepsut's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by OneCentStamp View post
    Real life conversation from the Stamp/artifex home:

    artifex: I made tabbouleh!
    OCS: Is it plain, or does it have all the mint and stuff?
    artifex: It has mint and parsley and everything else.
    OCS: I want to try it plain once. A tabbouleh rasa.
    artifex: That's just plain bulgur.
    OCS: It may be, but this is my house and I'll talk however I please.
    That's magnificent.

  8. #8
    Content Generator AllWalker's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday View post
    The bartender says "We don't allow faster than light neutrinos in here."

    A faster than light neutrino walks into a bar.
    A neutrino walks into a bar and keeps going
    Something tells me we haven't seen the last of foreshadowing.

  9. #9
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Elendil's Heir View post
    Three statisticians go hunting. A deer runs by them. One shoots just ahead of the deer, and the other shoots just behind it. The third one shouts, "We got it!"
    I liked this one so much I actually repeated it to people today.
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  10. #10
    Prehistoric Bitchslapper Sarahfeena's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Elendil's Heir View post
    Three statisticians go hunting. A deer runs by them. One shoots just ahead of the deer, and the other shoots just behind it. The third one shouts, "We got it!"
    I laughed.

  11. #11
    Member Elendil's Heir's avatar
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    I didn't make it up, but I'm glad you like it!

  12. #12
    Wanna cuddle? RabbitMage's avatar
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    Want to hear a joke about potassium?
    K.

    Know any good jokes about sodium?
    Na.

  13. #13
    Oliphaunt
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    A calculus limerick:

    (Integral t2 dt
    From 1 to the cube root of 3)
    Times (the cosine
    Of (3p/9) )
    = ln (the cube root of e)
    Librarians rule, Oook

  14. #14
    Member Elendil's Heir's avatar
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    Just stole these from the current SDMB joke thread:

    Two physicists are driving home from a conference. It happens to be Erwin Schrödinger and Werner Heisenberg. All of a sudden a police car turns on its siren behind them. Schrödinger pulls over. The policeman walks over to the window and asks him: "Do you know how fast you were going?" Schrödinger says "Of course, officer, I know exactly how fast I was going!" Heisenberg moans, "Great, now we're lost."

    The policeman thinks that these two characters are acting somewhat suspiciously. "Do you mind if I take a look in your vehicle?" he asks. "Go right ahead," say the two scientists. The officer comes back to the dirver's window: "Did you know you have a dead cat in your trunk?" "I do now!" says Schrödinger.

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