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Thread: Things you're unlikely to hear on "Jeopardy"

  1. #1
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Default Things you're unlikely to hear on "Jeopardy"

    An old SDMB game:

    "Our next contestant is Rusty Myers, from Tuscaloosa, Alabama. Rusty, it says here that you really hate niggers."
    Last edited by Rube E. Tewesday; 13 Jul 2011 at 05:55 PM.

  2. #2
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    "What is a Dirty Sanchez?"

  3. #3
    For whom nothing is written. Oliveloaf's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Zuul View post
    "What is a Dirty Sanchez?"
    Holy crap. I was so unprepared for this. I just launched Diet Pepsi all over my desk. Best laugh in days.
    "I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."

    -Jim Rockford

  4. #4
    For whom nothing is written. Oliveloaf's avatar
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    "I'll take Celebrities With Bad Hygiene for $600."
    "I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."

    -Jim Rockford

  5. #5
    For whom nothing is written. Oliveloaf's avatar
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    "I'll take Foods That Make Our Turds Float for $200."
    "I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."

    -Jim Rockford

  6. #6
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    "Who let the dogs out? Who, who, who?"
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  7. #7
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    "Well, I've always been too busy working out and chasing tail to go to Renaissance Fairs, Alex."

  8. #8
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    "I'll take Celebrity Sex Tapes for $200."
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  9. #9
    For whom nothing is written. Oliveloaf's avatar
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    "Our next contestant is an out-of-work street performer who's hobbies include defrauding record clubs and masterbating."
    "I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."

    -Jim Rockford

  10. #10
    For whom nothing is written. Oliveloaf's avatar
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    "Ooh, no, I'm sorry. The correct answer is 'The sex habits of Danny Thomas.'"
    "I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."

    -Jim Rockford

  11. #11
    my god, he's full of stars... OneCentStamp's avatar
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    "Our contract has been renewed through 2015!"
    "You laugh at me because I'm different; I laugh at you because I'm on nitrous."

    find me at Goodreads

  12. #12
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    "You know what? Fuck it. I don't care if that wasn't in the form of a question."

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    Member Elendil's Heir's avatar
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    "Jeez, Alex. They said you were an insufferably pompous asshole, but I had no idea...!"

  14. #14
    my god, he's full of stars... OneCentStamp's avatar
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    "I'll take 'Do you think any of the three of us have pants on behind this podium' for $200, Alex."
    "You laugh at me because I'm different; I laugh at you because I'm on nitrous."

    find me at Goodreads

  15. #15
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    "What is a crack whore?"
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  16. #16
    Member Elendil's Heir's avatar
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    "By the way, Alex, Ken Jennings asked me to tell you that he still has that 'erotic nonprescription medical device' of yours, and wanted you to pick it up."

  17. #17
    Member Elendil's Heir's avatar
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    "Alex, what say we ditch these two losers and you just give me the money now?"

  18. #18
    For whom nothing is written. Oliveloaf's avatar
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    "Really, another fucking question about Shakespeare?"
    "I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."

    -Jim Rockford

  19. #19
    Member Elendil's Heir's avatar
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    "This is Johnny Gilbert, introducing Alex yet again, wasting another year of my life for fifty grand and all the couscous I can eat!"
    Last edited by Elendil's Heir; 18 Jul 2011 at 10:20 PM.

  20. #20
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    "Our next contestant is the president of the Pamela Anderson Fan Club."

  21. #21
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    "Our first category is: 'Lies told by organized religions'".

  22. #22
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    "And the categories are Alien Visitations, Conspiracy Theories, Cryptozoology, Famous Deformities, Unsolved Mysteries and...Cross-dressing Shakespeare Heroines."

  23. #23
    my god, he's full of stars... OneCentStamp's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Zuul View post
    "What is a Dirty Sanchez?"
    "I'm sorry, the correct question was 'What is a Rusty Trombone?' Rusty trombone. You lose 200 points, and Angie, you have the board."
    "You laugh at me because I'm different; I laugh at you because I'm on nitrous."

    find me at Goodreads

  24. #24
    Member Elendil's Heir's avatar
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    "I'll take 'Highly Infectious Skin Diseases' for 100, please, Alex."

  25. #25
    Member Elendil's Heir's avatar
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    "Whaddya mean, we don't get samples of any of the fuckin' 'Potent Potables'?"

  26. #26
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    "I'll take 'The Films of Jenna Jameson" for $200".

  27. #27
    For whom nothing is written. Oliveloaf's avatar
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    "I'll take 'Hilarious Sponge Bob Moments' for $800."
    "I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."

    -Jim Rockford

  28. #28
    Member Elendil's Heir's avatar
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    "What is the frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex, and a Republican presidential candidate, Alex."

  29. #29
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    "I'll take 'Famous LOLCats' for $200."
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  30. #30
    Porosity Caster parzival's avatar
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    "And Sean Connery, I understand your charity is the National Organization for Women. Tell us about that."

  31. #31
    Member Elendil's Heir's avatar
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    "Hello, everyone, I'm Alex Trebek, and I'm as gay as gay can be!"

  32. #32
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by parzival View post
    "And Sean Connery, I understand your charity is the National Organization for Women. Tell us about that."
    Awesome.
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  33. #33
    Member Elendil's Heir's avatar
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    "I'll take "Celebrity Sexual Perversions" for $200, please, Alex."

  34. #34
    Member Elendil's Heir's avatar
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    "Why couldn't you just give me some of those way easy Celebrity Jeopardy! questions, anyway, asshole?"

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