Why isn't there a Ziploc bag containing little bottles of hotel shampoo on my break room table?!?
Why isn't there a Ziploc bag containing little bottles of hotel shampoo on my break room table?!?
Last edited by Orual; 09 Aug 2012 at 03:53 PM.
To teach you some valuable life lesson. Not sure what that life lesson is, but there has to be a valuable life lesson involved.Originally posted by Sarahfeena
There weren't so very many people in my law school class. One hundred and fifty, maybe? How come I don't even remember the names of so many of the people who, according to the alumni magazine, I spent three years with?
Last edited by Rube E. Tewesday; 25 Sep 2012 at 01:46 PM.
Why are there thousands and thousand of dead little insects in my office building?
Why doesn't anybody clean up all the little corpses piled up on the stairwell?
Not paid enough.
The woman who was strolling down the street on Saturday, smoking a cigarette, with full Klingon face make-up but no other sign of a Star Trek costume: What was that about?
Why does my beagle insist on only peeing inside the house?
So, I'll whisper in the dark, hoping you'll hear me.
Why is it I can drink until the cows come home some nights and still be all but sober yet other nights I wipe out and act like the biggest douche on earth?
Get an answer to that one, and you should win the Nobel prize.
Why does my girlfriend from 30 years ago keep endorsing me for things on LinkedIn? What does that even mean?
She still has the hots for you or thinks you'd make a great Line Manager at the dairy products concern over in Hamilton.
Heh, I don't even really understand what a Linkedin endorsement means, let alone why she's doing it.
Oh well, no reason why I should understand how her mind works now any more than I did then.
Does saying that I can live with the printer only printing single-sided really merit getting hit by a secretrary?
Why are cyclists such dicks? Just today I observed two running a pedestrian crossing red light and about half a dozen cycling, at speed, on foot paths. They know their rights but not their responsibilities it seems.
Find an answer to that one, let me know. Entitled dicks are the vast majority of cyclists, in my observation. Right up there with Beemer drivers.
My question: How is it that I can't name a single song by Morrissey, or even the Smiths, yet I know that he is: (a) Gay; (b) Vegan; (c) a douche?
This Charming Man?
There Is A Light That Will Never Go Out?
Rube, even my ma knows their songs. My ma who has been oblivious to every single pop cultural phenomenon since 1972 (year of the birth of her first child) except for Andre Rieu and Andrea Bocelli.
Nope, have no idea what you're talking about.
Your ma is obviously some kind of hipster.
Why do all the 1st Communion dresses look like little wedding dresses with spaghetti straps and illusion netting? This is not the look I'm wanting for Sassy Girl!
Why was there a bikini top lying next to the scraps from an Egg McMuffin outside my office building this morning?
Why does Facebook think I might want to be friends with Nicholas Cage?
Last edited by Rube E. Tewesday; 24 Apr 2013 at 12:19 PM.
I get that a lot with twitter. You would have thought all the celebs had enough people following them, without needing me to do so as well.
In the land of the blind, the one-arm man is king.
Nicholas Cage is a real headscratcher to me, though. Usually I can make some sort of sense of Facebook's recommendations, but Nic Cage? I'm not sure I've even seen one of his movies since Moonstruck.
How did my keyboard get so clogged up? I have never seen so much cat hair and toast crumbs in close proximity.
In the land of the blind, the one-arm man is king.
The condom wrappers you see on ordinary sidewalks: where do they come from?
People riding in cars.
Call display just showed a call from, literally, "Anonymous".
Has anyone with call display ever answered a call that said that?
I'm sure they have, but the percentage has to be low.
If it's an unlisted number I get "Private" but if it's from Skype I get "Out Of Area" or "Unknown".
Why did it take me so long to remember that my printer will staple documents for me?
Why would you ever put a sign up in a canteen saying: "We look forward to your feed back."
In the land of the blind, the one-arm man is king.
Oh, yuck. How did nobody think about that?
Why don't people read shop signs before entering?
Why do razors have 4 or 5 blades now? I remember a time when 1 blade worked just fine. In fact, 1 blade seemed to work better than going blade-crazy like nowadays.
Who posts and advert like this?
Um... someone who wants to be charged with this?: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sedition
The sad truth is purely marketing and is nothing to do with how close it can shave.
In the land of the blind, the one-arm man is king.
Someone who saw the transcript about Allied Irish bank screwing over the government and think they could do a better job of it.Who posts and advert like this?
In the land of the blind, the one-arm man is king.
I want to know why Irish people forget what intense sunshine does and go around having taken zero precautions. Lads out in shorts and no shirt and no sunscreen turning into lobsters.
If safety in the air is so important, why is the TSA totally staffed by asswipes who couldn't last a week in a real job?
I don't live anywhere near a pond or river, so why do I have a frog in my back garden?
In the land of the blind, the one-arm man is king.
When will we finally get cheap energy?
Or domestic robots? Not Roombas, but toilet washing, clothes folding, dish washing, full fledged domestic bots?
I've got one of those its called a CatInASuit, hey...wait?
In the land of the blind, the one-arm man is king.
Why were the two young women ahead of me in the dollar store buying three slotted spatulas, and nothing else?
They are having an anniversary party for their parents and realized they needed more serving utensils for it. Or something similar.
Why don't people know the name of the shop they're in and have purchased items in a myriad of times before?
Place that sold me the "Turkey and Ontario Root Vegetable" soup: When did corn and green peppers become root vegetables?
Why was the dude on the subway drawing pentagrams on his arm with red ink, then wiping them off with his thumb?
a) It keeps people from bothering him on the subway ride
b) Satanist but also a perfectionist and kept messing up the angles of the pentagram
c) Geometry Student?
OK, then, maybe you also know why was there an old, taped up guitar sitting outside the burrito shop?
It was probably agent 13._ He could hide in the oddest places. Like stray punctuation marks perhaps.
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