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Thread: Questions you need the answer to.

  1. #51
    I've had better days, but I don't care! hatesfreedom's avatar
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    Fucking Magnets, How Do They Work?

  2. #52
    Oliphaunt
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    How can I possibly be so slap-happy when it's not even noon yet?

  3. #53
    Administrator CatInASuit's avatar
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    Why does my vanilla ice cream contain beetroot juice?
    In the land of the blind, the one-arm man is king.

  4. #54
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    Why is it so easy to make a mess and so hard to clean?
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  5. #55
    Oliphaunt
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    Quote Originally posted by CatInASuit View post
    Why does my vanilla ice cream contain beetroot juice?
    Did it come from Australia? They do bizarre things with beets down there.

  6. #56
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Why is the BMW the official car of douchebags everywhere? Is it something about BMWs, or something about douchebags?

  7. #57
    Oliphaunt The Original An Gadaí's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Zuul View post
    Why is it so easy to make a mess and so hard to clean?
    Entropy?

  8. #58

  9. #59
    Member Elendil's Heir's avatar
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    After all these years of evolution, why are people still such morons?

  10. #60
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Why do so many guys with really strange men's room habits work on my floor?

  11. #61
    Prehistoric Bitchslapper Sarahfeena's avatar
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    Am I losing my mind?

  12. #62
    Administrator CatInASuit's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Sarahfeena View post
    Am I losing my mind?
    Only if you forget where you left it.
    In the land of the blind, the one-arm man is king.

  13. #63
    Oliphaunt
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    Why does my ostensibly "Sweet Mint" chewing gum taste like artificial banana flavoring? Ew.

  14. #64
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Why do people who look horrible in shorts like wearing shorts so much more than people who look good in shorts do?

  15. #65
    Clueless but well-meaning Hatshepsut's avatar
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    Am I the only Mello poster who does not also post at Giraffe?

  16. #66
    Member Elendil's Heir's avatar
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    MUST old men wear dark socks - or any socks at all - with sandals?

  17. #67
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    I haven't smoked two packs of cigarettes over the course of my life. I don't think I've smoked a cigarette at all since maybe 1992.

    So why do I really crave a cigarette right now?

  18. #68
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    I have no sense of direction. I cannot make sense of a road map.

    Why do people constantly stop me to ask for directions?

  19. #69
    my god, he's full of stars... OneCentStamp's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Hatshepsut View post
    Am I the only Mello poster who does not also post at Giraffe?
    No. I like them, but I don't post there.
    "You laugh at me because I'm different; I laugh at you because I'm on nitrous."

    find me at Goodreads

  20. #70
    Administrator CatInASuit's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Hatshepsut View post
    Am I the only Mello poster who does not also post at Giraffe?
    I lurk, although less now as I was following MHaye's D&D Campaign. It shows how hard it is to run one online.
    In the land of the blind, the one-arm man is king.

  21. #71
    Administrator CatInASuit's avatar
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    I wonder if Sarahfeena will ever overtake Oliveloaf's post count?
    In the land of the blind, the one-arm man is king.

  22. #72
    Oliphaunt
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    I wonder what Oliveloaf's up to.

  23. #73
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Orual View post
    I wonder what Oliveloaf's up to.
    Me, too. I see him looking in occasionally, but I miss him posting.

  24. #74
    Prehistoric Bitchslapper Sarahfeena's avatar
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    I told him we miss him...I think he's just busy.

  25. #75
    Administrator CatInASuit's avatar
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    Why don't woodpeckers get whiplash?
    In the land of the blind, the one-arm man is king.

  26. #76
    Oliphaunt
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    How long can a person have OutKast's "Ms. Jackson" stuck in her head before going bonkers?

  27. #77
    Administrator CatInASuit's avatar
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    How do you crack a Brazil nut shell to get the Brazil nut out without turning it into shrapnel?
    In the land of the blind, the one-arm man is king.

  28. #78
    Oliphaunt
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    Why is are my cough frops making me cough more?

  29. #79
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    How come guys can play volleyball in big, baggy shorts but girls are only capable of playing if they're wearing something small and tight?

  30. #80
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Why does practically everybody who calls me at work call me between noon and one, the hour when I'm most likely to be out of the office?

  31. #81
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Body Shop and Tim Horton's are big, tremendously successful companies. How is this possible given the mind-boggling incompetence I always encounter when I try to do business at one?

  32. #82
    Oliphaunt
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    Why don't I have a Tim Horton's within walking distance of my house?

  33. #83
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Orual View post
    Why don't I have a Tim Horton's within walking distance of my house?
    Because you're not in Canada.

  34. #84
    Oliphaunt
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    BUT WHY. (Also I'm not in Michigan, or Buffalo New York.)

  35. #85
    Prehistoric Bitchslapper Sarahfeena's avatar
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    Why do Cokes from McDonald's taste SOOOOOO good?

  36. #86
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    How does putting one extra cup of water in the coffee maker result in five cups worth of overflow?

  37. #87
    my god, he's full of stars... OneCentStamp's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by hatesfreedom View post
    Fucking Magnets, How Do They Work?
    Miracles.

    Quote Originally posted by Elendil's Heir View post
    After all these years of evolution, why are people still such morons?
    Because modern human reproduction selects for height, symmetry, and straight teeth more than for intelligence. All the intelligence-related progress due to evolution ground to a halt about 1000 years ago.

    Quote Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday View post
    Why do people who look horrible in shorts like wearing shorts so much more than people who look good in shorts do?
    Because you're at Wal-Mart.

    Quote Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday View post
    How come guys can play volleyball in big, baggy shorts but girls are only capable of playing if they're wearing something small and tight?
    Shhh, don't jinx us.

    Quote Originally posted by Sarahfeena View post
    Why do Cokes from McDonald's taste SOOOOOO good?
    Clean nozzles, proper mix.
    Last edited by OneCentStamp; 16 Jan 2012 at 10:53 AM.
    "You laugh at me because I'm different; I laugh at you because I'm on nitrous."

    find me at Goodreads

  38. #88
    Oliphaunt
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    How does one work up the necessary enthusiasm to do laundry?

  39. #89
    my god, he's full of stars... OneCentStamp's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Orual View post
    How does one work up the necessary enthusiasm to do laundry?
    Meth.
    "You laugh at me because I'm different; I laugh at you because I'm on nitrous."

    find me at Goodreads

  40. #90
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Poor Orual. She's in San Francisco, which means she doesn't have to do laundry, because it would be OK if she walked around naked.

    On the other hand, she's in San Francisco, so if she walked around naked, she'd die of exposure.

  41. #91
    Oliphaunt
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    CAN SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME WHY THE WHOLE DAMN OFFICE BUILDING SMELLS LIKE PEE.

    (And it would never do to walk around my neighborhood naked. I get accosted by plenty of creepy vagrants as it is.)

  42. #92
    Administrator CatInASuit's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Orual View post
    CAN SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME WHY THE WHOLE DAMN OFFICE BUILDING SMELLS LIKE PEE.

    (And it would never do to walk around my neighborhood naked. I get accosted by plenty of creepy vagrants as it is.)
    That would be the creepy vagrants.
    In the land of the blind, the one-arm man is king.

  43. #93
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by OneCentStamp View post
    Quote Originally posted by Elendil's Heir View post
    After all these years of evolution, why are people still such morons?
    Because modern human reproduction selects for height, symmetry, and straight teeth more than for intelligence. All the intelligence-related progress due to evolution ground to a halt about 1000 years ago.
    The good news is that with our present high population, should a sudden change in environment occur which would select for higher intelligence we would then experience a nigh on unprecedented evolutionary jump, thanks to the scope of our gene pool.

    In fact, with the high caloric requirements of the human brain it could be that this is the solution to the obesity epidemic.

    A less tongue in cheek explanation, which is quite fascinating.
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  44. #94
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    My cat doesn't care if a closet door is shut. My cat doesn't care if a bedroom door keeps her out. But Lord have mercy on my soul if I should shut the bathroom door on her.

    What does she think happens in there and why is it so important for her to be there? When I let her into the bathroom, she just sits there and stares at me creepily. It's especially bad if I'm in the bath.

    ...is my cat a voyeur?
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  45. #95
    Stegodon
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    Quote Originally posted by Zuul View post
    My cat doesn't care if a closet door is shut. My cat doesn't care if a bedroom door keeps her out. But Lord have mercy on my soul if I should shut the bathroom door on her.

    What does she think happens in there and why is it so important for her to be there? When I let her into the bathroom, she just sits there and stares at me creepily. It's especially bad if I'm in the bath.

    ...is my cat a voyeur?
    I don't know, maybe if you post some pic's of you in the bath it might help us work it out.

    Just trying to be helpfull.

  46. #96
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    Yeah, like I'm falling for that again.
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  47. #97
    my god, he's full of stars... OneCentStamp's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Zuul View post
    Yeah, like I'm falling for that again.
    Again?? Shit, I knew I shouldn't have gone on hiatus from here.
    "You laugh at me because I'm different; I laugh at you because I'm on nitrous."

    find me at Goodreads

  48. #98
    Oliphaunt
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    Why does good whiskey disappear so much faster than the crappy stuff? WHY.

  49. #99
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    Because crappy whiskey needs a mixer!
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  50. #100
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Why did I get a phone call from the lobby of my building, which then transferred into a call to someone I don't know, which was finally answered by her voice-mail?

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