Fucking Magnets, How Do They Work?
Fucking Magnets, How Do They Work?
How can I possibly be so slap-happy when it's not even noon yet?
Why does my vanilla ice cream contain beetroot juice?
In the land of the blind, the one-arm man is king.
Why is it so easy to make a mess and so hard to clean?
So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.
Why is the BMW the official car of douchebags everywhere? Is it something about BMWs, or something about douchebags?
After all these years of evolution, why are people still such morons?
Why do so many guys with really strange men's room habits work on my floor?
Why does my ostensibly "Sweet Mint" chewing gum taste like artificial banana flavoring? Ew.
Why do people who look horrible in shorts like wearing shorts so much more than people who look good in shorts do?
Am I the only Mello poster who does not also post at Giraffe?
MUST old men wear dark socks - or any socks at all - with sandals?
I haven't smoked two packs of cigarettes over the course of my life. I don't think I've smoked a cigarette at all since maybe 1992.
So why do I really crave a cigarette right now?
I have no sense of direction. I cannot make sense of a road map.
Why do people constantly stop me to ask for directions?
"You laugh at me because I'm different; I laugh at you because I'm on nitrous."
find me at Goodreads
I wonder if Sarahfeena will ever overtake Oliveloaf's post count?
In the land of the blind, the one-arm man is king.
I wonder what Oliveloaf's up to.
I told him we miss him...I think he's just busy.
Why don't woodpeckers get whiplash?
In the land of the blind, the one-arm man is king.
How long can a person have OutKast's "Ms. Jackson" stuck in her head before going bonkers?
How do you crack a Brazil nut shell to get the Brazil nut out without turning it into shrapnel?
In the land of the blind, the one-arm man is king.
Why is are my cough frops making me cough more?
How come guys can play volleyball in big, baggy shorts but girls are only capable of playing if they're wearing something small and tight?
Why does practically everybody who calls me at work call me between noon and one, the hour when I'm most likely to be out of the office?
Body Shop and Tim Horton's are big, tremendously successful companies. How is this possible given the mind-boggling incompetence I always encounter when I try to do business at one?
Why don't I have a Tim Horton's within walking distance of my house?
BUT WHY. (Also I'm not in Michigan, or Buffalo New York.)
Why do Cokes from McDonald's taste SOOOOOO good?
How does putting one extra cup of water in the coffee maker result in five cups worth of overflow?
Miracles.
Because modern human reproduction selects for height, symmetry, and straight teeth more than for intelligence. All the intelligence-related progress due to evolution ground to a halt about 1000 years ago.
Because you're at Wal-Mart.
Shhh, don't jinx us.
Clean nozzles, proper mix.
Last edited by OneCentStamp; 16 Jan 2012 at 10:53 AM.
"You laugh at me because I'm different; I laugh at you because I'm on nitrous."
find me at Goodreads
How does one work up the necessary enthusiasm to do laundry?
"You laugh at me because I'm different; I laugh at you because I'm on nitrous."
find me at Goodreads
Poor Orual. She's in San Francisco, which means she doesn't have to do laundry, because it would be OK if she walked around naked.
On the other hand, she's in San Francisco, so if she walked around naked, she'd die of exposure.
CAN SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME WHY THE WHOLE DAMN OFFICE BUILDING SMELLS LIKE PEE.
(And it would never do to walk around my neighborhood naked. I get accosted by plenty of creepy vagrants as it is.)
The good news is that with our present high population, should a sudden change in environment occur which would select for higher intelligence we would then experience a nigh on unprecedented evolutionary jump, thanks to the scope of our gene pool.
In fact, with the high caloric requirements of the human brain it could be that this is the solution to the obesity epidemic.
A less tongue in cheek explanation, which is quite fascinating.
So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.
My cat doesn't care if a closet door is shut. My cat doesn't care if a bedroom door keeps her out. But Lord have mercy on my soul if I should shut the bathroom door on her.
What does she think happens in there and why is it so important for her to be there? When I let her into the bathroom, she just sits there and stares at me creepily. It's especially bad if I'm in the bath.
...is my cat a voyeur?
So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.
Yeah, like I'm falling for that again.
So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.
"You laugh at me because I'm different; I laugh at you because I'm on nitrous."
find me at Goodreads
Why does good whiskey disappear so much faster than the crappy stuff? WHY.
Because crappy whiskey needs a mixer!
So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.
Why did I get a phone call from the lobby of my building, which then transferred into a call to someone I don't know, which was finally answered by her voice-mail?