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Thread: Questions you need the answer to.

  1. #301
    Mi parolas esperanton malbone Trojan Man's avatar
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    I've been doing stuff in C minor, and using 2 very strange alternate tunings.

  2. #302
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    First, sounds like things are going good jizz, congratulations.

    Second, I can't say I've ever heard the expression "blasted in the ass", whether for good or ill.

    I am missing out on life.

  3. #303
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Ok, I guess I can understand there being countless tiny little dead insects lying around my office building. Time of year or something.

    But why don't I ever see one of them alive?

  4. #304
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Uh....I consider that a benefit. My mother came over Sunday to go for a walk and I showed off my chromebook so she wouldn't be all like "omg I wish my laptop was that small" and stuff and I insisted we sit outside for her to test it out.

    Actually I was kind of peeved she half-smashed a beautiful garden/wolf/whatever spider web. OK, so, I gave my mom the "spider chair" -- I didn't know at the time. Those are my first line of defense against LIVE box elders making it into my house. Not that the latter are harmful, in se, but they are noisy and make a blood-colored spatter when (not IF, mind you), you smash them.

    But, yes, I have noticed an odd population of live indoor insects this year. Coincident with me closing, for some damned reason, my sliding porch door for the first time in many months (there's a screen, but it can be compromised), there have been a few outrageous spiders in my bathroom. Coming out of the woodwork, I guess. Not so outrageous, just a big and a small daddy longlegs. Those I kill. Naw, not sorry at all -- they are ground spiders and so don't help me in my quest to minimize flying pests.

    I'd like to hear more about everyone's thoughts about bugs of all kind.

    Also, I don't know that "blasted in the ass" is exactly a common expression. I just heard it somewhere, and thought it was funny.

    Also, Cm is great because it's like Eb and it goes with Ab too. Same great taste! Every bit as filling!

  5. #305
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday View post
    Ok, I guess I can understand there being countless tiny little dead insects lying around my office building. Time of year or something.

    But why don't I ever see one of them alive?
    Oh yeah, so here's the answer. You don't keep bug hours. And your perceptual field differs in granularity from that of a live bug. And in quality. Bug might see a distance measured in millimeters, at 4:50am, a humanly-invisible spectrum of energy in the form of light.

    Duh.

    Yeah, but so I have a new question: should I (a)buy a new briar pipe at the gouging prices at a local so-called tobacconist chain (b)search online for a real tobacconist who can just sell me the twenty-dollar basket briar pipe I desire or (c) buy a new corncob for six USD? I keep getting drunk and (i) losing or (ii) losing and/or having the police confiscate my two previous briars. Unfortunately, my cob pipe I bought way back end of June this year is done. It is entirely covered in duck tape, and even then, it doesn't work that good. Plus, I think it attracts unwanted attn from LEOs and the general population. E.g., some dude the other dude just sauntered up and asked pitifully, "Do you think you might have any weed that you might be willing to give me?"

    Not that I care what Joe Q Public thinks, I just don't want to test-drive my new comeback for LEOs, viz., "What did you just ask me?" That's not what I want.

    So, yeah, it's like an economics question, or something.

  6. #306
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    I'd go with: Find a real tobacconist for the proper briar pipe PLUS get another corncob pipe, because who can tell which way your heart will move you on a particular day.

  7. #307
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Spoken like a rich bastard.

    Problem is, I only want a 20-30 dollar US briar pipe, and I'm happy. I bristle when I have to pay almost $60 for something off the shelf. It is offensive, to me, to pay more for briar.

  8. #308
    Member Elendil's Heir's avatar
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    Strange things happen to me when I visit the tobacconist:

  9. #309
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Is anyone else but me just in a bad fucking mood lately? That's my question. First I realized my uncle might be (a) stupid and (b) completely insane. He taught me piano like thirty years ago, and I just realized what it's like to try to interact with someone who is quite probably stupid and crazy. And boring.

    Yeah, I know, look in the mirror harhar, but even though I like to play around with words and stuff, I'm still a solid guy IRL. More or less.

    Plus, procrastination is a problem for me.

    Plus, people and things just bother me -- stupid music at a drugstore just makes my fists clench a bit, and so I just try to get through every day preserving a little bit of self-control -- bathe, brush teeth, put on clean clothes, whatever.

    All that adds up to a bad mood, to me.

    Sounds like Wozzeck's plight.

  10. #310
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Oh and ETA my new comeback for LEOs, I misspoke -- no, I would never say this unless in a low risk situation.

    "WHAT did you just say to me?"

    Much different than my earlier mis-transcription.

  11. #311
    Mi parolas esperanton malbone Trojan Man's avatar
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    WO IST DAS MESSER!?!?!?

  12. #312
    Member Elendil's Heir's avatar
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  13. #313
    Mi parolas esperanton malbone Trojan Man's avatar
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    Yes. Exactly him >:-(

  14. #314
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    More like that.

    ETA ETTA never mind my impression of the Captain from *Wozzeck* (opera not play). Stricken from the records! Silence you cutlery fools!
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 15 Oct 2014 at 03:44 PM.

  15. #315
    Member Elendil's Heir's avatar
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    spitz said Messer, not Messner.

  16. #316
    Mi parolas esperanton malbone Trojan Man's avatar
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    WARUM IST DAS BESSER!?!?!?

  17. #317
    Member Elendil's Heir's avatar
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    You got me there.

  18. #318
    Mi parolas esperanton malbone Trojan Man's avatar
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    WIE SCHÖN IST DAS WETTER!?!?!?!

  19. #319
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    not very.

    not very hubsch at all.

    durr I knew messner is not messer, i just thought it was funny.

  20. #320
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday View post
    I'd go with: Find a real tobacconist for the proper briar pipe PLUS get another corncob pipe, because who can tell which way your heart will move you on a particular day.
    All right, fine -- in the end I took your advice. It happened by accident -- the local tobacconist showed me his Missouri Meerschaums AND when I had made the sale, maybe because it was early in the morning and I was all clear-eyed, buttoned-down, tweed sportcoated, he brought out the basket.

    So I got a briar basket as well.

    AND he sold me some A(insert accent over A circle)lsbo Gold tobacco in a pouch, which turns out to be (I think) cheaper by ounce than the shit I was smoking. It's not very good tobacco, but it's cheap, and not too moist, and it sort of works, I guess.

    Yeah, so what was my question du jour?

    Is anyone else feeling an almost unsettling enjoyment in the midst of an unpleasant life?

    Small victories.

  21. #321
    Member Elendil's Heir's avatar
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    Savor them, my friend. Savor them.

  22. #322
    Mi parolas esperanton malbone Trojan Man's avatar
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    Haha, Small Victories would be a great title for a patronising ''get over yourself'' type of song

  23. #323
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Whatever organization gave the bum who sits on the corner bugging people for "change for coffee" a nice warm coat so he could comfortably sit on the corner bugging people: wouldn't you be better off finding something for him to do besides sitting on the corner bugging people?

  24. #324
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    I agree -- they should fight for barriers to the elements in cages, be forced to eat rat meat for the public's amusement, or....

    and here is my serious rejoinder thought earlier today thinking "holy shit those dudes are dressed for assaulting K2 and I'm wearing a fifteen year old overcoat and a windbreaker" -- good for them, and I'm not jealous, but why don't they just move south or something?

  25. #325
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    Maybe their pitons are being buffed and they can't leave until the damn things are ready?

  26. #326
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Jizzelbin View post
    I agree -- they should fight for barriers to the elements in cages, be forced to eat rat meat for the public's amusement, or....

    and here is my serious rejoinder thought earlier today thinking "holy shit those dudes are dressed for assaulting K2 and I'm wearing a fifteen year old overcoat and a windbreaker" -- good for them, and I'm not jealous, but why don't they just move south or something?

    Yeah, I know being poor and mentally ill and addicted are serious, and I'm lucky, but man, when a guy who weighs 50 pounds more than I do and who is wearing better clothes than I am asks me for money for a sandwich, it's hard for me to big picture the issue.

  27. #327
    Member Elendil's Heir's avatar
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    I donate to our local food bank and never give money to panhandlers. I have often offered and bought them food, however.

  28. #328
    Mi parolas esperanton malbone Trojan Man's avatar
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    Two horses died in this year's Melbourne Cup, and another was euthanased after last year's race. Some people are calling for whips to be banned, and some are even calling to ban horseracing altogether. What say you?

  29. #329
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    I dunno. I like going to the races, but I hate to see horses die over it.

    But you know, if racing was banned, it's not like all the racehorses would live happily ever after. Thoroughbreds only exist to race, and if racing was banned, the EU would soon have a lot more inexpensive lasagna on its hands.

  30. #330
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    Horseracing is a time-honored sport that brings pleasure to many. Properly run and humanely regulated, it ought to continue. A ban on whips might be for the best.

  31. #331
    Mi parolas esperanton malbone Trojan Man's avatar
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    I've heard that modern whips don't actually inflict pain, but I don't know... it doesn't look like something a horse would enjoy to me. I realise the entire industry can't be scrapped, but it does seem a bit inhumane. Especially putting the horses into stalls. They always look very uncomfortable with that (as I would be in a similar circumstance).

  32. #332
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Yet again I am not surprised. This is the most offensive, misogynistic piece of garbage I have read this week.

    What. The. Fuck. This "person" should be flogged, perhaps to death, for disgracing everything everyone who follows human rights in the past hundred-odd years holds dear.

    It is a disgusting screed which is antihumanistic, misogynist, and basically offensive to every person who believes in equality, the rights of humanity, and several of the cornerstones of Western democracy. Disgusting.

    Me? I think women have earned a place at the table of democracy, and I bristle at the notion that some little comedy writer thinks it amusing to deny them their voice. In fact, I find it offensive.

    Oh yeah, about the horses -- eh, don't care. Sorry, bud -- I just can't get too excited about some rich people beating on their pets. But, then again, I actually enjoy eating horsemeat, and am not a vegetarian, and as long as the horses aren't abused, then that's not my call to get too excited. I appreciate hearing a different perspective, though.

  33. #333
    Oliphaunt The Original An Gadaí's avatar
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    Why is it that the estate across the street in the "projects" has all pristine houses, with lovingly cared for dogs and well washed cars yet THERE IS SO MUCH FUCKING LITTER EVERYWHERE. It's like they throw the household waste out their windows, yet they keep their homes and cars spick and span. They also have wheely bins while us eejits on the other side of the street have to use refuse sacks for our household waste. I don't geddit.
    Last edited by The Original An Gadaí; 08 Nov 2014 at 11:27 PM.

  34. #334
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    How exactly can their "homes" be tidy and neat if there's a bunch of trash all over it?

    I don't know. Some people are (a) super anal about stuff they paid money for and (b) fuck everyone else.

    In America, they're called douchebags.

    ETA there's another option -- they could be drug addicts or something.

    Me, I'm the opposite -- I tend to be unconcerned about cleaning the toilet, scrubbing the shower, but am not an asshole (to people who don't start it first -- then I'm a fucking Mickey Roarke-style maniac). But my front porch is swept and free of debris, bitchez! And were it that I didn't practice basic hygiene, I guess the word slob would fit, along with lazy.

    So, my question: what exactly is the opposite of a douchebag?
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 11 Nov 2014 at 04:28 PM.

  35. #335
    Oliphaunt The Original An Gadaí's avatar
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    Their homes and immediate front yards are pristine but the road outside is covered in detritus.

  36. #336
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Well, then they must be either druggies or, in the case of Ireland, drunks, or have a bunch of scumbag friends.

    So, what is the opposite of a douchebag?

  37. #337
    Member Elendil's Heir's avatar
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    Me?

  38. #338
    Oliphaunt The Original An Gadaí's avatar
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    Elendil's Heir is.

  39. #339
    Member Elendil's Heir's avatar
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    Well, that's two votes....

  40. #340
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    All right, fine, EH is probably not a D-bagger. Still not sure he couldn't be riding two identical portraits in the dictionary, though. He seems like a complete methhead.

    TNP agrees that automotive enthusiasts who (a) don't know how to build and repair their machines and (b) drive as though it were a valiant, sporting affair can suck it.

    eta yes, that was a joke -- EH is obviously a square apple, although a cool dude who knows stuff and is nice, and is not a drugger
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 13 Nov 2014 at 05:20 PM.

  41. #341
    Member Elendil's Heir's avatar
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    You realize this isn't the TNP thread, right...?

  42. #342
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Well, there's always room for TNP! Sure, of course, I meant to do that.......walking away,..,..

    And I'm back: Speaking of which, has anyone noticed in the US that the price of toilet paper has gone way up in the past...six weeks or so? Bizarre. Not quite back to the corncob for me, but I was thinking just now how there must be a friendly angel who ensures I never seem to run out of TP when I need it most, but, on the other hand, it's hard to get that motivated to go carousing the paper aisles at the grocery when there is not a local (household) shortage. Well, I dislike using old newspapers, so that's a motivation, but it's a weak one. Just a hassle to buy TP because I always want the best price.
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 15 Nov 2014 at 06:53 PM.

  43. #343
    Mi parolas esperanton malbone Trojan Man's avatar
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    I don't know about square apples, but Japan is popularising cube-shaped watermelon. Take that as you will...

  44. #344
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    I take it as a sign of the infantilization of the world, that grown adults fetishize such things as shaped fruits, motorcars, and cartoons.

    I wonder how much of the world values art -- in life, aesthetics -- over science (in ethics, commerce, economics).

  45. #345
    Member Elendil's Heir's avatar
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    Not nearly enough, that's how much....

  46. #346
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    OK, that's one vote *for*, and my vote *for* and the other three people her *gin*

  47. #347
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Why does Facebook think I'd like the official George Zimmerman fan page?

  48. #348
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    IMHO FB doesn't use a very sophisticated algorithm for deciding on "likes" and all that. They just throw the whole FB population in your lap and see what sticks.

  49. #349
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Where did I get the idea that it's OK to upbraid strangers who offend the standards of a given culture by

    (saying) watch it
    (saying) move it
    (gesturing) middle finger
    (directing traffic) pointing a finger or hand

    I blame east coasters. Rude bastards.

  50. #350
    Mi parolas esperanton malbone Trojan Man's avatar
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    HEY! I'M AN EAST COASTER!

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