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Thread: Questions you need the answer to.

  1. #801
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    CAR QUESTION

    I've been driving both standard and automatics pretty much a long fucking time.

    To descend....vertically, maybe 300m...down to my place -- the speed limit is 15mph (it's technically a public street, but nobody drives down it unless they're condo communitarians. But I cannot have people driving like .... 99% of jackasses ... where people have the RIGHT to walk. Car drivers don't have the right -- that's a privilege.

    For this automatic, I usually just wind it down to 1st gear, which puts me at about 15 mph.

    You know, just engine braking, like you'd do on any kind of transmission.

    Now, I know how to replace pads and rotors, and these are a disc brakes, all four wheels -- not my favorite way to spend an afternoon.

    However, I don't have the tools or the knowledge to deal with a faulty auto transm.

    Thoughts? The RPMs do get up there when engine braking for the .... total distance...I don't know, maybe 600m.

    However, IMHO that's what the transm is designed for.

    I know FO SHO that I'll wear out my pads, and possibly the rotors will get grooved, braking, which is why I minimize unnnecessary braking even on regular road/highways (plus, it's annoying people slamming on their brakes when they should have been looking ahead and letting momentum take control).

    However, I can't afford a tranny rebuild (you can still say that, right?).

    So, is my way good or defective?

    ETA and no I don't slam it into 1st from 30 mph -- I try to match the speed to the gears. I'm not a complete...............numbnuts.

  2. #802
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    Actually, that's kind of a good secondary question on the same point:

    I wonder if I can maximize the life of the tranny (fuck you, I'm allowed to say that -- that's got nothing to do with LGBQT....or whatever) by not matching speed, but by using neutral and trying to match the RPM when shifting to the lower gear.

    I mean, that's how you do it on a standard tranny (OK, now I'm just saying that word because I can) if you have a bad synchro or can't use the clutch.

    That sounds like an accident waiting to happen, though, putting the auto tranny in neutral on a public street, giving the gas to get the revs up, then taking it down to the first.

    Could be a James Brown song, though.

    "Give me the juice! Hunh! Good god! Bring on the juice! Hunh! Should we give the tranny some? Yeah! One, two, three, four! Hit me!"

  3. #803
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    @Rube E. Tuesday

    WTF IS A "JAZZ SNOB" anyway?

    I picture like a Thurston and Eunice Howell sipping a rare wine and clucking about some bullshit aspect of the music they just heard someone else say.

    "Mahhhvelous, dear -- such modal interchange is novel, but combined with the contrapunctal savoir-faire of The Modern Jazz Quartet, I dare say it's heavenly!"

    "No, no dear, you must only snap your fingers on the upbeats!"

  4. #804
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Yeah, kinda like that. As an example, some years ago in Toronto, the last jazz club in town shut down. This was after the owner, who was not making any money because the jazzheads would nurse a glass of water all night while listening for every sign of untightness, was sitting in the club with a friend and had the audacity to say something to the friend. One of the jazzheads came over and told him off.

  5. #805
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    Quote Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday View post
    One of the jazzheads came over and told him off.
    Funny thing is, I think there are people like that in all walks of life and niche areas.

    I can't fucking stand it, but I have a good strategy: just look at them directly in the eyes for 7/4 of a second, then say something. Assholes like that probably deserve a beating, but I prefer the civilized approach.

    Yeah, go ahead, you're King of fucking Siam and lord of all knowledge. Let them say their business, then, while I pretend to consider what they say, while looking at them in the eyes, say a response. They can't handle a polite interchange, even one which ends in their antagonist (from their POV) admitting the snob might possibly be correct. Not when it involves human interaction like eye contact and zero defensive, squirrely emotion.

    Nerds.
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 20 Apr 2018 at 03:01 PM. Reason: sp

  6. #806
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    Quote Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday View post
    the owner, <snip> was sitting in the club with a friend and had the audacity to say something to the friend. One of the jazzheads came over and told him off.
    One of those times I think it's good to be the boss.

    I hope he told that jackass to GTFO my club and don't ever come back.

    Probably did just that, based on the club/bar owners I've known -- those people have their backs to the wall and aren't taking any shit. They don't own shit, anyway, they're usually leasing their spots, owning various licenses, and have contracts with all kinds of vendors.

    QUESTION: Has anyone ever known a small business owner who will take any shit from some piss-ant shit-stirrer? I have not.

  7. #807
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    Quote Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday View post
    jazzheads would nurse a glass of water all night while listening for every sign of untightness
    That deserves a quote.

    Just noticed "untightness" -- yeah.

    I'm mean, hell, I'm a jazzhead if anyone is, but whatever happened to just having a good time? You know relax.

    Some of these people, yeah, they're like at an air show or a NASCAR thing, they're just waiting for somebody to screw up.

    Or for some chance, like a lot of sports fans, to reveal some obscure bit of trivia they've hoarded away.

    Untightness.

    That is quite a word. I like it.

  8. #808
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    QUESTION what is the deal with neckbeards, anyway?

    Like, pick one: beard OR clean.

    Sure, occasionally everyone can have a long/lost weekend and let the facial hair go a little bit, but to make that a regular thing?

    The dude was lazy, if anyone was, but that is kind of ridiculous to just regularly go around in public like you just stepped out of a cave.

    I don't get it.

    And, FTR, that fashion fancyboy "permastubble" thing -- fuck you.

  9. #809
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    QUESTION: I don't think it's the least bit unfair to ask of men to be the "chaser" of fine women.

    Women are generally more vulnerable physically, and perhaps in cases in a sociological sense.

    That's just being a lazy MRA to be like "eh, whine, how come I got to do all the work???"

    Cause you're the damn man, you have a lot of built-in advantages, so grow a pair, or just be cool with lettings evolve naturally.

    Any problems with my little "opinion" I'm not thinking.

    Yeah, it's not one of the great questions of all ages, but still, that's what I've concluded.

  10. #810
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    Quote Originally posted by Erictelevision View post
    In an 8 game schedule, how many different ways can a team play its 4 home and road games?
    I asked on a math tutorial website. The answer is 70 (8!/4!*4!)

  11. #811
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    Quote Originally posted by Erictelevision View post
    Quote Originally posted by Erictelevision View post
    In an 8 game schedule, how many different ways can a team play its 4 home and road games?
    I asked on a math tutorial website. The answer is 70 (8!/4!*4!)
    Forgot about that one.

    So, I'll say that's probably right -- why not?

    Straight binomial theorem, nCr ("n choose r"), where n=8 and r=4, so (8*7*6*5/4*3*2*1) after some cancellation (or n!/r!(n-r)! if you want to be official).

    ETA Actually, that should have been cancelled down to 2*7*3*5 == 210 / (3) ==>70.

    So, you know, no calculators or savant math needed.
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 26 Apr 2018 at 06:29 PM.

  12. #812
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    I think I need to buy some work boots.

    QUESTION can one still wear the old-fashioned Dr Martens, or did the little kid Nazis ruin that?

    I have a brown loafer Doc Ms that I've gotten at least 500 miles on, and although they could use a new insole insert, like a Dr Scholls or whatever, they've been remarkably resilient to mostly walk on paved surfaces (i.e., the outer soles have held up, with only an acceptable amount of erosion, given the rough character of asphalt or concrete).

    OTOH for the same price I could get a nice pair of low-cut hiking shoes, but IME even the good ones crap out after about 800 miles, with all the various "complications" gradually becoming unglued or deteriorating.

    I think the original Martens were designed for factory/warehouse work, so that may be a better option.

    And I don't think I can be mistaken for some little kid nazi asshole, just maybe an overgrown punk who'd probably kick your ass if you said something about my shoes.

    ETA NEW QUESTION: Should I write on the "employee suggestions" whiteboard "DOUBLE ELIMINATION ARM-WRESTLING!!!!!" in caps, and sign it w/ my RL name?
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 01 May 2018 at 07:02 PM.

  13. #813
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    Answers:

    1. Ruined.

    2. No.

  14. #814
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    Response:

    1. I didn't realize Herr Doktor Martens was a WWII damned Nazi. Fuck him and his damned shoes. Also I hate that goddamned yellow stitching.

    2. Already did it. Trust me, it's hilarious. Not a speck of offensive content. I did not sign my employee ID, though, just because....what's the point? Just spamming an employee whiteboard.

  15. #815
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    LANG QUEST

    My Latin is getting rusty, but I wanted no one to poach this empty cart I was saving while I wheeled the full one down to its spot.

    I think I wrote: "Tolleque moriturandi" above the Route# and Staging# on the placard, using the dry-erase markers.

    I admit WareGirl was nearby so maybe I was trying to impress upon her that I have broke-dick Latin skills, but mostly to amuse myself.

    But that's completely a fucked-up, wrong phrase, and it's been bugging me for the last few hours.

    Yes, I know "murder" is, like fecio, IIRC, but the past passive participle....meh....I'm getting soft in areas I was hard, and hard in areas I was soft.

    FIX IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    WHY CAN THE PARROT TALK????????

  16. #816
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    OK, so I think everyone's Latin's as rusty as mine here.

    I'll still ask, though.

    I like Tolleque as a compact way of saying "Take and" what's the best way of saying in subjunctive future "you shall die?" Apparently moritur is a defective verb which doesn't have a future, nor a subjunctive.

    Of course, my go-to in French is just like "Prends-le et périr," sort of short and sweet.

    I never tried a German one, but that should be straightforward, except there are more choices and I don't feel like wasting time thinking up a good one.

    Besides, the only German language is "Schiessen-Sie nicht, ich bin Amerikanische! Ve haf alliance unter treaty, und unseren unterseebooten sind alle decomissioned! Ich bin ein Feldkommandant! Offizier! Ich habe keine weapons, Yankee friends! I luff the Yankees and Babe Ruth! Schiessen nicht, bitte!"

  17. #817
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    QUESTION Is it a good idea to yell out your house/condo/apt window at an unacceptable dog owner:

    "Shut that god damned dog up or I'm going to blow your brains out!"

    "Shut the fuck that damned dog up!"

    "The shotgun's coming off the rack!"

    I contend those are all reasonable responses.

    Or else I wouldn't have said them.

    Besides, the 300W PA speaker is too heavy to move, plus the mixer and SM57, so sometimes the old ways are the best.

    ALT QUESTION People who can't silence their beasts should have their vocal cords cut -- I'd take up a collection.

    Fucking white people.

    Nobody in a real city would put up with this shit.

    New ones:

    "Shut that fucking dog up, you white n******, or I'm going to shoot you in the face."

    "Hey! You! Shut that dog up or you're going to die!"

    "Hey, n*******. I'm going to find you, I'm going to rape you, kill your dog, and ram it up your ass!"

    All in good fun!

  18. #818
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    I think I should buy a Remington 870 shotgun instead of buying a non-bullshit donut spare tiire for my car.

    Or a cheap-ass Hi-Point 9mm (those really suck, bulky and unbalanced), with some good leather, and a CCW permit. A 1911 is my handgun, but the cartridges are too expensive. The H&K 9 is nice, a beautiful handgun, but I share it with pops and even though he's bsically bedridden-- and I'm not crazy about 9mm. 0,40 s the way to go, but again, ammo gets dear.

    I'd rather have the shotgun, b/c I can't be carrying concealed, I just want to open the door to some douche watch 'em run. Leave one empty in the chamber and rack that mofo.

    Yeah, a scattergun is about right, just rack it up, cheap, TCB.

    Oh, ETA I'll mount a gun rack in the back of my 1998 Camry XLE.

    I'm going full redneck.
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 12 May 2018 at 09:17 PM.

  19. #819
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    QUESTION

    If, hypothetically, one accidentally smashed the shit out of one's car side mirrors, one would fix with:

    (i) Black gorilla tape

    (ii) a shitload of crazy glue (and, obviously, huff the rest)

    (iii)some PC-7 epoxy

    (iv) forget about it.

  20. #820
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    QUESTION

    Is this not one of the highest purposes of a high-lumen tactical LED flashlight?

    Some jackass is riding your ass on the highway, so you just click it on and point it straight back.

    On the narrowest possible beam.

    And hope they die in a miserable fashion.

    I think there's articulable plausible deniability.

    ANOTHER QUESTION

    Is this normal for automatic tranny cars? Everytime I try to do a "brake check" (lift up the E-brake with the button depressed), some leakage occurs and my car actually slows down a bit.

    Yes, I'm aware that's horribly unsafe, even on a stick, because of possible mechanical irregularities.

    But the only other auto-transmsissions I've driven have had the e-brake as a pedal IIRC -- this one is a regular standard-style lever at your right hand.
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 15 May 2018 at 06:43 AM.

  21. #821
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    BOXING QUESTION

    Asking the 65-year-old work-friend who fought, he says about forty-three boxing fights during his days in the Navy, before work, to "try out his stuff," is probably not a good idea.

    I still want to see what stuff he's got, though.

    I bet I could convince him if I brought a pint of whiskey, but I'm convinced we both want to keep our jobs, instead of fist-fighting for whiskey in the parking lot barely after midnight.

    Still, it would be fun spar a little.

  22. #822
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    Quote Originally posted by Jizzelbin View post
    BOXING QUESTION

    Asking the 65-year-old work-friend who fought, he says about forty-three boxing fights during his days in the Navy, before work, to "try out his stuff," is probably not a good idea.

    I still want to see what stuff he's got, though.

    I bet I could convince him if I brought a pint of whiskey, but I'm convinced we both want to keep our jobs, instead of fist-fighting for whiskey in the parking lot barely after midnight.

    Still, it would be fun spar a little.
    I got the solution - see who can give biggest bruise. My record is recieving about a 5"x5" bruise on my arm that took months to heal -- hell, most days at the warehiouse I get bruses that look lie I been in streetighht.

    Maybe I'm a degenerate but some people like painting watercolors. I like fighgingg with fists. Not any good at it, but it's so fun as no one gets hurt. Just trade hard HARD punhes fpr fiun..

    Besdies, I'd enjoy trading blows with somembody who actuaoy know wo Floyd Mayweather is/was and who /was his family was.

    Believe it or not, thee are people who enjoy"mixing it up,?

    It can be fu, so long as it's all in fubm

  23. #823
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    Quote Originally posted by Jizzelbin View post
    BOXING QUESTION

    Asking the 65-year-old work-friend who fought, he says about forty-three boxing fights during his days in the Navy, before work, to "try out his stuff," is probably not a good idea.

    I still want to see what stuff he's got, though.

    I bet I could convince him if I brought a pint of whiskey, but I'm convinced we both want to keep our jobs, instead of fist-fighting for whiskey in the parking lot barely after midnight.

    Still, it would be fun spar a little.
    I got the solution - see who can give biggest bruise. My record is recieving about a 5"x5" bruise on my arm that took months to heal -- hell, most days at the warehiouse I get bruses that look lie I been in streetighht.

    Maybe I'm a degenerate but some people like painting watercolors. I like fighgingg with fists. Not any good at it, but it's so fun as no one gets hurt. Just trade hard HARD punhes fpr fiun..

    Besdies, I'd enjoy trading blows with somembody who actuaoy know wo Floyd Mayweather is/was and who /was his family was.

    Believe it or not, thee are people who enjoy"mixing it up,?

    It can be fu, so long as it's all in fubm

  24. #824
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    Quote Originally posted by Jizzelbin View post
    I think the original Martens were designed for factory/warehouse work, so that may be a better option.
    SOLVED: (sort of)

    Better idea, see if this Army Surplus store is still in business in this town, and pick up some GI jungle boots.

    Probably better and cheaper than wasting good hiking shoes on this warehouse bullshit.

    Although, I've heard the Vietnam-era boots were actually pretty uncomfortable. But, hell, if they could run and walk untold miles in them, then there's no reason I can't.

    Reason: PUMICE STONE!

    ETA Sorry about the 2x post and the poor spelling in that last -- I have no explanation for that, sir.
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 18 May 2018 at 06:36 AM.

  25. #825
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    DOG QUESTION

    WHY do people allow their pet dogs to bark?

    And WHY is it not mandated that all non-hunting or attack dogs have their vocal cords snipped?

    It is completely unacceptable to have a non-working beast violate noise restrictions in most municipalities in states of the U.S.

    It is the exact equivalent of me randomly turning on my car security alarm, whenever I feel like it.

    These animals should be destroyed, or their owners fined according to a graduated escalating schedule, or, as I suggest, the vocal cords should be humanely clipped.

    There is one reason for a dog to bark: if it is trying to deter a predator.

    So.

    That's solved.

    Oh, also, any barking dog should be able to be destroyed by anyone, at any time, for any reason except valid reasons for barking.

    ETA

    Also, saying over your PA speaker+amp+mic "Shut that goddamned dog up or I'm going to put a bullet in your brain" is just fine. Not a question, just a statement of fact.

    In case anyone was curious.

  26. #826
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    QUESTION:

    "Is it hilarious and smart to answer the door to someone claiming to be a county sheriff, and ask them for identification, and when they refuse by pointing to their uniform. respond, 'Oh, I had a gay stripper cousin who dressed like that.'"


    Yes, I know the answer.

    I think it's an amusing scenario.

    Usually I turn on the channel of the mixer connected to the microphone and say, "We require warrants to be searched. Leave my property, stranger." Repeat, verbatim.

    And by "usually," I mean a few times.

  27. #827
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    PHONE question

    Interesting, so I come back today and find that my phone charger (phone unplugged, carried with me), had apparently sometime last night grown hot enough to not only melt some of the plastic housing surrounding the micro-USB port on the phone, but even while unplugged, melted a giant hole over the day in my plastic EE stencil/ruler (it's got little stencils for drawing logic gates and diodes and all that. Not very useful, but it was a good surfboard and I liked it. Much like this one girlfriend I had.

    Huh.

    I don't know what the question could be except (ii) WTF and (I) the circuit it draws power from has exactly one chromebook charger (device disconnected from charger overnight and for today), and one other tablet charger plugged in.

    The wiring at my place has needed some...impromptu fixes...but I don't think I ever did anything to the receptacles in the "office/study/mancave" circuit.

    Also, Morgan is not ovulating, otherwise she would have been all over my like white on rice.

  28. #828
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    ALCOHOL question.

    The, you know, drinking kind. Ethanol, fine, whatever.

    I wonder how to find out about how long until ethanol reaches "peak plasma concentration." I find it takes about twenty minutes or so for alcohol (don't be pedantic, organic chemistry nerds, you know what I mean) to "take effect."

    That seems a bit slow, given how much of the substance is absorbed (don't) through the soft palate, gums, esophagus, and so forth. Maybe.

    But, about consistent with other "fast acting" drugs, and some sublingually-applied substances. Setting aside all the deviant cases, like taking LSD into the eyeballs, insufflating cocaine, huffing paint, or whatever else you can think of.

    I wonder at what point you'd be able to time the peak concentration of ethanol in blood-plasma, such as taking the substance intravenously. One would have to make this kind of calculation.

    No, I'm not planning to make some Hot Cosbys for a dinner party, I just like doing experiments on myself, and haven't got a clue what the best source of information would be. I'm somewhat confident that there have been at least a few studies, of whatever merit, made.

  29. #829
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    Why am I suddenly seeing so many people with white canes near where I work? There's no institution for the blind around that I know of. It seems to be different people, and there's nobody new with guide dogs, just white canes.

  30. #830
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    Oh.

    I got it figured out.

    There's a new MusicCon where everybody wants to pretend to be a good musician, like one of their heroes. Shearing, Charles, Wonder.

    Just kids doing cosplay.

    /////////////

    I want to know, what the fuck kind of asshole HONKS at ME in a goddammed parking lot for going 5mph (yeah, convert it to whatever you need) and stopping for crossing pedestrians trying to get to the grocery store.

    The kind who gets brake-checked multiple times as they follow my path home. And fingered. Up their ass. That's who.

    NB I managed to avoid a collision by swift reflexes earlier on my commute home, and yet UND DENNOCH!!! I didn't have to use my horn. Just avoid their dumbass shit driving and give them the bras d'honneur.

    Or as I prefer it, the "broadener."

    Good cure for and cause of perforated colon and constipation.

    Assholes.

    ETA oh yeah, question: I think the best move in that situation would have been to stop my car, exit the vehicle, and calmly advise the offender that their behavior can be punished by me and the noise ordinances of the city, while taking a photograph of the driver and noting his license plate.

    What are they going to do? Beat me up? I work in a fucking warehouse. I'm made of meat. Hard, sanguine meat.
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 05 Jun 2018 at 02:41 PM.

  31. #831
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    Jizz, people who honk at you by way of demanding that you run over pedestrians are the vilest of scum. There should be undercover cops whose sole job is to pull them over and impale them by the crosswalk by way of warning the others.

  32. #832
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    Well, they might have shit their pants, that carload of inbred .............inoffensive....think of.......young people, that's ok......when the third time I E-braked them and caused my tires to leave some rubber on the road.

    I don't think so, but it's a nice thought. Maybe one of the women passengers might have a miscarriage, though. That amuses me.

    I should have just manned up and confronted them, but on private property, I don't think my driving violation citation would have gotten anywhere (yes, that's a thing -- ID the driver from a selection of photographs, provide the license plate, and it is obligate that the violator will be served a summons to appear in court. I've got personal time off, I'd be happy to use if it meant these people waste (i) an entire day at court (ii) pay the nolo fee, which is considerable, for violating noise statutes).

  33. #833
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    All right, I got a good one, a CAR question.

    I've got this fetish in my mind that I want my transmission to do most of the braking power. Part of it is most of commute to->from->to&c has a shit ton of stop signs and weird stop lights.

    I don't think it's so hard on an automatic transmission to gear down, even up until you reach about 15mph (or kilowatt-hours, or whatever you people use).

    In fact, I take a certain amount of pride in not being one of those nebbishes who's constantly riding the brakes.

    However, I understand, it's not a standard/stick drive.

    Nonetheless, I think I'm correct.

  34. #834
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    According to some random chooches on the Cartalk (RIP!) forum, I'm being ridiculous in my down shifting.

    Still, I contend that going 30-35 mph coming up to a red light that I know is going to change very soon, shifting to second gear manually, then perhaps to first, allows me to not have to apply the brakes.

    Just smoother, in that I can avoid using the brakes, often. However, I do recognize brake signals as a safety measure for those following you. However, IMHO, they should be just as well as conditions above as I am.

    I think that's different than the pathological cases where people apparently are constantly shifting a "manual."

    Keep in mind this is a twenty-year old Camry XLE -- not the latest and greatest auto transmission.

    And I have confirmation, of sorts, that using low gear on a long, steady descent, such as down the hill to my place, is sensible.

    Did I mention I hate cars yet? Well, this is one reason why I've never driven unless absolutely necessary, which, unfortunately, it is now for commuting the 6 miles or so to work at 0400.

    If I was a super-butch shadetree mechanic, I'd consider replacing the automatic with a manual -- had a friend who did that, who taught me the basics of car repair. No. No fucking way would I ever spend any amount of time doing that.

    But I've still probably should find a GOOD mechanic who can check my transmission fluid better than I can.

    ETA And, yes, I brake smoothly. As a demonstration of the correct technique from the back pages of some cartoon book (like a Donald Duck or Archie comics) from when I was a little kid, imagine there's a fresh chicken egg between your foot and both the gas and the brake pedal. Well, two eggs, I guess.
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 09 Jun 2018 at 06:11 AM.

  35. #835
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    QUESTION

    I wonder why it is that more US property owners don't have measures to dispatch of unwanted predators on their property, primarily their dwelling.

    Yes, we all know you can't have "man-traps" or "booby-traps" and all that. For very good reason.

    There is no possible reason that a manually-operated set of devices, ranging from "flash-bangs," to legal materiel, such as TNT, cannot be detonated around, say, one's front door when one is being assaulted by a group of unidentifiable strangers who have no just cause for entry, including defective paperwork.

    Intruder?

    Without valid warrant?

    Death from above.

    John Adams would have approved.

    And no, I don't know that from that idiot TV show with PigVomit in it, I just intuit from my memory of some of his written opinions that such action would have been praised by him and every other American, although many of them were Huguenots who were partisan to the British villainy of the War of the Conquest.

    Who knows.

    Maybe I just like to light a large bonfire in my own dwelling sometimes using legal accelerants.

    If some pigs get roasted -- well, they're not as tasty as porgs, and they're more expensive, but at least they're more fun to poke with a stick when they're corpses, probably.
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 19 Jun 2018 at 03:22 PM.

  36. #836
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    HEY!!!!!!!!!!! Jackasses!!!!!!!!!!!

    I want some romantic advice.

    I'm getting to know WareGirl a bit more.

    You want to hear something fucking nuts?

    I asked her and she said she liked to hike and to watch birds.

    ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTING ME?

    I moved to this fucking town so I can go walk twenty-five miles within city limits, and while I'm not a bird-watcher, I know what they are, where they are, what kinds they are, all that shit.

    Goddamned motherfucker.

    Shit goddamned.

    I had an initial crush on her,

    Then I saw how she was friendly to undesirables.

    But NOW.

    Jesus fucking Christ, how am I going to play it cool now? I'm about to jizz in my pants just thinking about her -- and she is not a conventional pin-up beauty. She's just good, that's it.

    Yeah, so that's my question.

  37. #837
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    QUESTION COROLLARY:

    I think the next move is: "Hey, you and me, we kind of got the same kind of interests, so what say you and me just go out and take a walk? No, I don't mean in the depths of the Forest Park, you don't me that good, but let's say the Arboretum?"

    Yeah. question and answered that's about the best pick-up line I ever fucking heard of.

  38. #838
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    No, I got a refinement on that.

    <Point finger at WareGirl>

    "Hey! You like to walk. I like to walk. You and me, we go walk."

    That is how you do it.

    Well, possibly. But that's my next move.

  39. #839
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    I just saw the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen.

    Some jackass morons on some 4chan-type board actually asked, "So, hurr, durr, should I like let my dog eat squirrels and stuff?"

    It is your dog you fucking mongoloid.

    Same exact question as asking if you should let your child molest neighborhood children sexually, or start fires recklessly.

    I think the dog would be happier if it were put down, instead of being untrained.

    There is no such thing as a dog barking or chasing anything without an express command.

    If you allow it, you are scum, you are an animal abuser, and you deserve to die, together with the defective beast.

    And the "owners," well, it would certainly be a good thing if they were killed in a single-vehicle automobile accident. Preferably with all of their defective offspring.

  40. #840
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    SERIOUS question.

    Why would an otherwise non-elaphantine woman shave her eyebrows and paint some fake ones on?

    I suppose I could ask her tomorrow, but I suspect of not getting a satisfactory answer.

    Anyway, it's not my business -- she's a good bartender, and I'm not that concerned.

    Still....why?

  41. #841
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    What she sees isn't what you see, I guess

  42. #842
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    Well, I think that's clear.

    She's a pretty "put-together" woman -- about thirty or so, I'd guess, always has the right clothes, more traditional hairstyle, some pretty nice-looking arm tattoos.

    I just rarely notice things in finer detail, so that was a shocker as a stylistic choice.

    I submit a tentative hypothesis that she's trying to advertise to male suitors that she shaves.

    Dunno.

  43. #843
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    QUESTION: Do most people with an MBA flunk out of their one term of calculus that I assume is required? And, why is it that such types seem to not have even an advanced-UG level knowledge of statistics?

    Yeah, statistics is a crime, as a discipline, IMHO, but probability theory and combinatorics is not.

    Of course, I showed my ass here when trying to answer a basic combinatorics problem, so I don't claim to be any better. I try, but usually I fail.

    UND DENNOCH why is it that MBA or BBA types seem to have a combination of innumeracy, mathematical immaturity, and apparent ignorance of algorithm analysis? What exactly do they do? Play Excel all day?

  44. #844
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    Can't help you on that, I have no idea what MBAs do. Could involve weird rituals before the eldritch gods for all I know.

  45. #845
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    I'm sure it does. In the ancient times of druids, Stonehenge.

    I think I am brewing up a good question about human physiology and the most efficient way to accomplish physical tasks.

    In short, there's probably a fuzzy boundary at which height and strength (raw power, like brawn) blah blah blah you know what I mean.

    So, that explains why Randy Newman was all wrong.

    Short people can, in many cases, be as good or better than larger specimens.

    QED.

  46. #846
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    And by "fuzzy boundary," I mean to impose hard limits of discrete quantities. Like 1, -1, 2^(1/2) and so on. So, a multi-valued logic with some relationship to the continuum, but corrected to the extent it can be. Otherwise, one would only be operating on symbolic representations or not able to compute, or, equally important, verify.

    That is about as much as I know about "fuzzy logic," so that's that. ETA And let's keep it simple, function over Z. Only way it will work. Discrete quantities, or otherwise we're back in the continuum. And we're back where we started, using natural constants like pi or e and so forth. Or sqrt(2) and all that. Can't happen.
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 10 Jul 2018 at 06:56 AM.

  47. #847
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    IS IT TRUE that women don't really mind — in fact relish — the scent of a man, paticularly in estrus?

    I find that, à la Joséphine and Napoléon, I don't mind, in fact, relish the smell of a woman.

    I therefore conclude that I do not need to shower this morning.

    For it will attract the most fertile of the bunch.

    There is some, no doubt, horrible, stench possible, but I do not find it possible that a woman would object to a man wearing clean clothes having a certain odor.

    The stench about the groin can, no doubt, be objectionable for both men and women.

    However, a normal odor I find is not worth bothering about.

    Particularly if one abstains from highly-aromatic foods.

    Far more important to have outward appearance of hygiene — dental, facial, and so forth.

    QED.

  48. #848
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    Here's a weird one. This older (elderly, really) co-worker — really, I don't know how they manage.

    While we were waiting this morning for checking-in, she mentioned out of apparent concern that she noticed I sweat a lot.

    Predictably, she gave me the usual advice about "electrolytes" — bunch of shit, if you ask me, I consume a lot of water, but my diet is heavy in salt, and I'm fairly sure a small increase in potassium is not anything.

    I suggested I just sweat a lot because I'm fat. She was very quick to dismiss that hypothesis, by insisting on my lean frame. Which is not entirely true, however I am rather tall and carry about ten extra pounds.

    Is there anyone on this board who actually thinks that taking a potassium supplement would "cure" my hyperhydrosis?

    I rather think that dropping about ten pounds, and working less intensely is a more effective strategy.

    ETA Perhaps I could also become black. They seem to do OK.

    NEW RELATED QUESTION: I have a suspicion that eating Cocoa Puffs cereal in the morning could be an excellent supplement, as well as being delicious. Assuming I get my shit together and start washing my dishes. Meh, it's probably got potassium in it, as does the milk. Plus, it sounds exciting and new to me.
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 13 Jul 2018 at 10:48 PM.

  49. #849
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    HERE'S another one about SLEEP.

    This is not working out, taking about a three hour nap, then making up for it with five hours of sleep before waking up at 0200.

    I think I know the answer to this: basically it sucks.

    However the urge to sleep is irresistible, and powering through with coffee or willpower is a terrible idea.

    I think my solution is the least worst solution.

    ADJACENT FOOD QUESTION I think the best solution is to eat the most dense-in-calories food, so as to make room for water and other liquids in the stomach.

    I believe that's the best solution to having a pretty small stomach, and yet requiring the stomach to consume water in copious quantities.
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 13 Jul 2018 at 11:40 PM.

  50. #850
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    Ah, question solved.

    Eat more potatoes. They're loaded with potassium, as well as vitamin C and other nutrients found in vegetables.

    IIRC. They're certainly nutrient-laden, and I don't eat very much of them.

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