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Thread: Calm Down Dear - it's just a sexist comment?

  1. #1
    Administrator CatInASuit's avatar
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    Default Calm Down Dear - it's just a sexist comment?

    It used to be the catchphrase of a commercial starring Michael Winner for e-sure car insurance (they are terrible btw) and has now turned into a major political row when the PM used the phrase referring to a female member of the opposition.



    The Labour party has, of course, accused him of sexism and being condescending to women, others are saying that Labour have no sense of humour and that it is just a catchphrase, albeit a poor one.

    So is it demeaning or do Labour have no sense of humour? Is it acceptable to use "dear" or "love" in this way.

    Spoiler (mouseover to read):
    Of course, he has used the phrase before in Parliament, only last time, it was aimed at David Milliband, decidedly male, who was a Labour cabinet minister when it happened.
    In the land of the blind, the one-arm man is king.

  2. #2
    A Dude Peeta Mellark's avatar
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    I can see how the phrase could be taken as patronizing and to a lot of people patronizing is the same thing as sexist if it involves a woman, particularly if it harkens back to an earlier, more sexist period. I'd say if it isn't specifically geared towards women or in some way implying women are inferior then it isn't sexist, but I'm a guy so anything I say on this topic is probably suspect. I'm probably using my Male Privilege right now and I don't even know it.

  3. #3
    Prehistoric Bitchslapper Sarahfeena's avatar
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    If some guy said that to me in a professional context, I'd be tempted to punch him in the nose.

  4. #4
    Elen síla lumenn' omentielvo What Exit?'s avatar
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    I'm fairly non-PC and it sounds sexist to my ears. Especially in a business situation.

  5. #5
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Sarahfeena View post
    If some guy said that to me in a professional context, I'd be tempted to punch him in the nose.
    Yeah. There's a history there of using that kind of language to belittle women and infantalize them, so knowing it was from a commercial or had been used towards men as well wouldn't really make a difference.
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  6. #6
    A Groupie Marsilia's avatar
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    I'm with Sarah and Zuul. It's not professional, and it's pretty demeaning. The fact that she's a part of the opposition party makes it worse in a way. The PM may have meant it as a joke, but it was in very poor taste.
    So, I'll whisper in the dark, hoping you'll hear me.

  7. #7
    Oliphaunt
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    Yep, I call it demeaning and infantalizing too. That goes double if it comes out of the spew-hole of a male superior in a work situation.

    Other unacceptable terms for the professional environment include: hon, sweetie, punkin, muffin, and sugartits.
    Last edited by Orual; 28 Apr 2011 at 11:10 AM.

  8. #8
    Oliphaunt The Original An Gadaí's avatar
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    Telling people to calm down in a professional setting, unless they're going completely bananas, is demeaning, even without the sweetie, dear, etc.

    I read somewhere that in parts of the north of England it's not uncommon for people to use the term "luvvie" but in a gender neutral way, which I find endearing.

  9. #9
    Oliphaunt The Original An Gadaí's avatar
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    Telling people to calm down in a professional setting, unless they're going completely bananas, is demeaning, even without the sweetie, dear, etc.

    I read somewhere that in parts of the north of England it's not uncommon for people to use the term "luvvie" but in a gender neutral way, which I find endearing.

  10. #10
    Member Elendil's Heir's avatar
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    Yeah, definitely uncool in that context.

  11. #11
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    If a man said that to me, I might do more than punch his nose!

  12. #12
    I've had better days, but I don't care! hatesfreedom's avatar
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    I don't get it, am the only one who watched the video? Guy gets up to make whatever speech he wants to make, gets heckled by the crowd, tells them to calm down in a semi-funny manor. Which seems ok because the people heckling him are almost having too much fun doing it?

    I mean do tell me where exactly the sexism against women was.

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