Wow. McDonald's must go through a lot of yellow paint--and toilet paper.
My pretend Twitter thread. (Mostly to keep my post count ahead of Sarahfeena's)
Wow. McDonald's must go through a lot of yellow paint--and toilet paper.
"I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."
-Jim Rockford
Ate popcorn. Nothing fills the black hole of my despair. Ow. Kernal in my teeth.
Oh man. I forgot to brush my teeth.
"I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."
-Jim Rockford
Just farted, and meeting in my office in 3 minutes. Should I leave, return, and act surprised by the smell? Plan!
"I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."
-Jim Rockford
How old was Jesus when God let him watch his first R-rated movie?
"I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."
-Jim Rockford
Any other gamers out there with catheter experience?
On the other hand, if I don't tell anyone it's going to start smelling really bad in a couple of days.
"I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."
-Jim Rockford
Why not "Joy Mound?" One can be just coconut, the other can have an almond.
"I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."
-Jim Rockford
Why are they "Mounds" when the almond makes a mound but "Mounds" don't have an almond? Think about it.
Just urinated. Clear stream, slight twinge of yellow. Duration: 41 seconds. Slightly less bitter than the last tinkle I took.
Download attachment - batch# 1564.mpg
Last edited by Trojan Man; 30 Mar 2011 at 11:21 AM.
O_O
Food digesting. Stomach acid bubbling away. Next biochemical test coming soon. I'LL KEEP YOU ALL UPDATED YAY!!!
Lady Gaga is pretty hot. She'd do me if she knew how smart I was.
"I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."
-Jim Rockford
See? This is why I'll never catch up to you. I am in no way capable of producing as much inane drivel as you are.
Some say fake tweets are just drivel; I say cheese is best at room temperature.
"I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."
-Jim Rockford
Very few of my pens have tooth marks on them.
"I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."
-Jim Rockford
Holy crap, is it almost April? What happened to Yaxkin?
"I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."
-Jim Rockford
An elk!
"I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."
-Jim Rockford
When people ask for the yellow-packet sweetener, I always give them a blue packet. Fuck them.
"I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."
-Jim Rockford
The hour-hand on my watch fell off--wait, never mind. It's Noon.
"I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."
-Jim Rockford
They say love is in the eye of the beholder. I say love is mostly a groin thing.
"I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."
-Jim Rockford
It's crap until you dump it on roses. Then it's mulch.
"I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."
-Jim Rockford
Lunch time! Pimento-only diet is getting expensive.
"I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."
-Jim Rockford
Life is like, an abyss, man. Like, a dark, cold abyss. Dude.
Giant welt on my thigh. Blunt instrument my ass.
"I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."
-Jim Rockford
BANG BANG WHOA! I TOTALLY PWNED THE FUCKER!!!
Jazz is like regular music for people with no testicles. Pianos and horns? WTF
"I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."
-Jim Rockford
My feet are warm, but my fingers are cold. Must be something really serious!
Know the difference between Denny's and The Olive Garden? No one has sex in The Olive Garden parking lot.
"I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."
-Jim Rockford
Hey, I wonder how far this potato peeler will go up my nose?
Buffalo wings aren't made out of buffaloes, are they? I'm pretty sure buffoloes don't got wings. Unless they're mutant buffaloes...
This chick's been playing hard to get for 2 years now - she wants me SO BAD!
Holy fuck, did time just stop?!
I bet if I was in Texas right now I'd be wearing a hat. I'd also have a boner.
"I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."
-Jim Rockford
I like ketchup. I don't think that's a bad thing.
"I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."
-Jim Rockford
My pepperoni tasted funny. I worry what kind of meat it was. Damn Italians.
What is the opposite of seasoned salt?
"I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."
-Jim Rockford
Never lend money to a Phoenician. They're slippery suckers.
"I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."
-Jim Rockford
If there really is a Yeti, I bet he'd like Pepsi.
"I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."
-Jim Rockford
How cool would it be if the pope was a blogger. "OMG, what's with all this condom use?"
"I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."
-Jim Rockford
His Holiness has a few other things to do other than blog, no?
Ratzinger ist hier mit meinem neuen iPhone. Seien Sie nicht eifersüchtig.
I'm so sick of that Ratzinger bastard stealing people's iPhones!!! And no, I'm not jealous!!!
I just saw a vending machine that sold urine samples. At least, I think I did.
"I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."
-Jim Rockford
Urine is a funny word. So is Llama.
"I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."
-Jim Rockford
Coil-spring suspension. Ha, that sounds stupid.
"I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."
-Jim Rockford
If I had a friend named Fluffy I would completely make fun of him.
"I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."
-Jim Rockford
I will never wear anything from Sam's Club again. Well, probably never.
"I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."
-Jim Rockford
so it seems that you assume your friend Fluffy would be a male...hmmmmmm...interesting....Why not a Cat?
Are you currently on the Staff of a Cat...if so what position? Or are you the mundane type who owns a dog?
I can see Kansas from my office. No, sorry, that's Jamie Farr.
"I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."
-Jim Rockford
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