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Thread: Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and now...Leprechauns?!?! Give me a break.

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    Prehistoric Bitchslapper Sarahfeena's avatar
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    Default Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and now...Leprechauns?!?! Give me a break.

    So my daughter comes home, all excited because last night "The Leprechauns" left every kind in her class a goody bag filled with green doodads. Then she tells me stories about all the little treats. "The Leprechauns" left at her friends' houses this morning. She comes home and *runs* to her room to see if they left anything for her.

    Me =

    So, while she was there, I grabbed a pack of St. Patrick's-themed pencils that I had picked up at the dollar store the other day, and hid them for her to find. She squealed when she saw them, and then came and cried because for some reason that didn't tickle her fancy. I told her we could make brownies with some green sprinkles on them, and that cheered her up, but god damn it, I hope I remember to do something clever next year.

    Fucking Leprechauns.

  2. #2
    Elen síla lumenn' omentielvo What Exit?'s avatar
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    Leprechauns, but they are tricksters. You should hide a favorite toy and tell her the Leprechauns got them. Then find them together of course.

  3. #3
    Prehistoric Bitchslapper Sarahfeena's avatar
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    You are a genius. I'm going to do it with her American Girl doll. Who, incidentally, got a new dress with shamrocks on it last weekend, so it wasn't like she got bupkis for St. Patrick's Day!

  4. #4
    Elen síla lumenn' omentielvo What Exit?'s avatar
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    Cool

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    For whom nothing is written. Oliveloaf's avatar
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    Well, it get's worse:

    There's Larry Lumber, who, on Arbor Day leaves kids mint-flavored toothpicks.

    There's Karl Jr., who, on the anniversary of the Hay Market Riots sneaks into kids' rooms and leaves a copy of The Communist Manifesto and a jigger-bottle of Stoli under their pillows.
    Last edited by Oliveloaf; 17 Mar 2011 at 05:37 PM.
    "I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."

    -Jim Rockford

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    Prehistoric Bitchslapper Sarahfeena's avatar
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    Oh, you can laugh...your kid is too old to care about this stuff anymore!

    The thing that gets me is that it's all like a silent competition among the parents to see who can be the most fun. And I am clearly no fun at all.

  7. #7
    For whom nothing is written. Oliveloaf's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Sarahfeena View post
    I am clearly no fun at all.
    We can probably chisel this into a headstone now.
    "I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."

    -Jim Rockford

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    Oliphaunt The Original An Gadaí's avatar
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    As a representitive of both the Irish Mythical Creatures Anti-Defamation League and the Leprechaun Local 1014 I'd like to see these bozos' union cards before I'm willing to accept that our people are really leaving presents for kids. It's an issue of demarcation y'see. We drink and fight, and play tricks and if Santa or his elves hear any of our members are stepping on their toes we're gonna have ourselves a major labour dispute. Nobody wants to see a Christmas strike.

  9. #9
    Administrator CatInASuit's avatar
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    You should have given her a shovel and told her to find a rainbow. Tell her the present is hidden there.
    In the land of the blind, the one-arm man is king.

  10. #10
    A Dude Peeta Mellark's avatar
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    Top them all, Sarah: in a couple of weeks have the Earth Day Fairy Godmother visit.

  11. #11
    Prehistoric Bitchslapper Sarahfeena's avatar
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    Awesome idea, Peeta...I'll leave a pile of dirt under her pillow!

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    Oliphaunt Baldwin's avatar
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    Seriously, Sarahfeena, why the fuck would you go along with that? Somebody invents some new holiday-themed bullshit to lie to children about, and you agree to pretend it's real?

  13. #13
    Prehistoric Bitchslapper Sarahfeena's avatar
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    Yeah, Baldwin, you know, I considered sucking all the fun out of my kids' lives, and then I decided oh what the hell, they're only young once...

  14. #14
    Elen síla lumenn' omentielvo What Exit?'s avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Sarahfeena View post
    Yeah, Baldwin, you know, I considered sucking all the fun out of my kids' lives, and then I decided oh what the hell, they're only young once...
    Pretty good answer, slightly less snarky then the one I was about to make.

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