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Thread: Some Poems

  1. #1
    Mi parolas esperanton malbone Trojan Man's avatar
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    Default Some Poems

    This will be shorter than my lyrics thread.

    ----------------------------

    Too Proud, Too Numb

    Across a landscape, created by dreams
    Dizzy with colour and weak at the seams
    A patchwork of fantasies, tattered and torn
    And each little fragment will one day be gone.

    Across the room, when you're trying to sleep
    Shadows are moving, lop-sided, oblique
    They enter your dreams and you're starting to stir
    Your hopes and your fears are beginning to blur.

    Across the street, there are many like you
    The lesson's they're learning are turning them blue
    They're drowning on oceans within their own soul
    Too proud to be saved and too numb to be cold.

  2. #2
    Mi parolas esperanton malbone Trojan Man's avatar
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    Sun Will Rise

    Mind slides like ocean sand
    from beginning to end
    Try to understand
    Try to comprehend.
    Feet dangle off the side,
    breeze from morning tide
    Comes like a wave
    - Something to crave.
    Palm trees sway,
    the wind sighs.
    Sky is grey,
    Sun will rise,
    would rise without me.
    I look to the sea
    it flips to and fro
    - it puts on a show.
    Words slip through my head
    futile exercise
    Now you're dead
    the sun will rise
    Will rise without you.
    Sky turns blue
    above the mist...
    Why did you exist?
    Too late for goodbyes
    Whatever I say or do
    the sun will rise,
    will rise without you.

  3. #3
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    "Sun Will Rise" is very lyrical. I really enjoy the rhythm and repetition of it.
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

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    Oliphaunt The Original An Gadaí's avatar
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    Sister, Sister

    Sister, Sister, you're like a blister,
    in the skin
    sister, sister you're a real terror,
    that's what you are
    enough, enough you've gone too far,
    roaring, screaming sister!

  5. #5
    Stegodon
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    I'm in love with Sarahfeena,
    even though I've never seen 'er,
    something in her posts make me sure,
    she is someone I could adore.

  6. #6
    Mi parolas esperanton malbone Trojan Man's avatar
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    Ah, OK. The idea of this thread was I would post some of my poems. I think there's another thread in this forum for take-the-piss poetry.
    Last edited by Trojan Man; 30 Jan 2011 at 09:23 AM.

  7. #7
    Prehistoric Bitchslapper Sarahfeena's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Zweedo Rodriguez View post
    I'm in love with Sarahfeena,
    even though I've never seen 'er,
    something in her posts make me sure,
    she is someone I could adore.
    Aw, I think we need a blushing smilie!

  8. #8
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    spitz, do you ever write poetry and then turn them into lyrics or are they always separate activities for you?
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  9. #9
    A Dude Peeta Mellark's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by spitz View post
    Too Proud, Too Numb

    Across a landscape, created by dreams
    Dizzy with colour and weak at the seams
    A patchwork of fantasies, tattered and torn
    And each little fragment will one day be gone.

    Across the room, when you're trying to sleep
    Shadows are moving, lop-sided, oblique
    They enter your dreams and you're starting to stir
    Your hopes and your fears are beginning to blur.

    Across the street, there are many like you
    The lesson's they're learning are turning them blue
    They're drowning on oceans within their own soul
    Too proud to be saved and too numb to be cold.
    Love the couplets. It's hard to pull this off and you do it well here.

  10. #10
    Oliphaunt The Original An Gadaí's avatar
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    Mine wasn't a pisstake. I wrote it in all seriousness when I was 10.

  11. #11
    Mi parolas esperanton malbone Trojan Man's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Zuul View post
    spitz, do you ever write poetry and then turn them into lyrics or are they always separate activities for you?
    I don't write poetry any more - that was before I realise I could play guitar. Now I just write lyrics. These poems have that teenagy angst quality to them because I was quite young when I wrote them, and it was a form of bloodletting. I was seriously ready to burst, and needed an outlet, and writing it down with rhythm/rhyme seemed to be the only thing that cleared my head. Just creative avoidance, maybe.

    I have transfered some of the poem stuff into lyrics, mostly just one line or phrase. I tried to convert 'Sun Will Rise' into a song, but it failed miserably.

  12. #12
    Mi parolas esperanton malbone Trojan Man's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Peeta Mellark View post
    Quote Originally posted by spitz View post
    Too Proud, Too Numb

    Across a landscape, created by dreams
    Dizzy with colour and weak at the seams
    A patchwork of fantasies, tattered and torn
    And each little fragment will one day be gone.

    Across the room, when you're trying to sleep
    Shadows are moving, lop-sided, oblique
    They enter your dreams and you're starting to stir
    Your hopes and your fears are beginning to blur.

    Across the street, there are many like you
    The lesson's they're learning are turning them blue
    They're drowning on oceans within their own soul
    Too proud to be saved and too numb to be cold.
    Love the couplets. It's hard to pull this off and you do it well here.
    Thanks Peeta! It needed that 'witches' spell' rhythm to it, so I figured couplets might be the way to go. And I think it's good to experiment with different techniques, even if you don't understand them.

  13. #13
    Oliphaunt The Original An Gadaí's avatar
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    I haven't sat down to write a serious poem in years. I must see if I can find any of my teen angsty ones.

    Pretty much any short form writing I do goes into songs nowadays.

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