"I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."
-Jim Rockford
Good to see you back, Myrnalene.
Let's talk about me for a minute.
Zuul was as good as her word, and sent me a PM with as handsome an apology in it as you could ask for, so the least I can do is show up here. In fact I'd seen this thread already, as I do look around from time to time especially if it looks like there is a shitstorm a-brewing, and I was quite surprised to see my name mentioned, still more kindly spoken of, as I'd naturally assumed I wasn't much missed hereabouts. It raised an eyebrow; I don't say it didn't raise a sniffle either; and Jim was right on the money about a well-considered PM being worth plenty.
Please don't mistake me; I'd not been missing Mello especially either, Jim's most excellent Middle-Earth D&D thread aside which, as per my signature, was the one part of Mello I'd not sworn off. I'd been but an infrequent poster for ages anyway, tho' rather more active in the earlier days along of being one of the first twenty-odd signatories to CRSP's original undertaking, and as for Chate, I'd never bothered myself. Similarly, I wasn't waiting for anyone to come crawling to me before I'd consider coming back. I'm no great fan of the Internet Flounce™ and prefer not to practise myself what I find reprehensible in others.
For me it was more like what Marcus Aurelius says: "The hut smokes; I move out". It wasn't without a wry chuckle at the irony of it, naturally. Mello prides itself on inclusiveness, tolerance and acceptance, and I'm sure I'd have been on safe ground if I'd been saying "What biologically may be my clit, I consider my dick, and it's hurtful of you and disrespectful of my identity as a man if you say it isn't" or "I consider myself neither a man nor a woman, and for you to call me either is dismissive both of my uniqueness as a human being and of my struggle to be acknowledged for who I am" or even "Physically I may be 247 pounds, but spiritually I'm an ounce and I'll thank you to respect the fact", but hey... argue that there might be a difference in male and female sex drives or even aver that an argument that purports to show their equality might not actually be all that watertight, and shit be on, dude! Which is weird, because apparently it meant it was open season for attributing all manner of social and sexual inadequacy to me that wouldn't for an instant be countenanced if I were gay, trans, genderqueer or furry... that's the price I pay for my straight cismale privilege, I guess.
So just once and for the record, I presume we can cease and desist with the assertions that I find women some kind of terrifying space alien? No doubt I'm quite wrong, by the way, in assuming that Hatshepsut found that "Vagina Borg" taunt hurled at me such a bon mot that she decided it deserved immortalising in her custom title, but you'll understand it was a perfectly natural mistake to make. I wouldn't say that the course of true lust always ran smooth for me, admittedly, but I have managed to get my dick wet a number of times in my life, sometimes on quite short acquaintance, and I doubt that my social difficulties with the opposite sex have been, by and large, all that much worse than the same difficulties with my own, what with being one of the countless thousand cases of Internet Self-Diagnosed Asperger Syndrome. In the same vein, I don't need any more gay guys informing me that they're sure they could get a woman to have sex with them if they wanted to...?
A modest enough request, I think. I'm not asking for the moon in a basket here, just that people who disagree with me should address the arguments I make and not bother with ad hominem crap or be all like "Mal did this all the time on the Dope and we don't want that shit here!" or, at the very least, that it's not OK to talk smack about my sex life until it's OK to talk it about everyone else's too. And if we can agree on that, this may yet be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
Last edited by Malacandra; 31 Jan 2011 at 03:28 PM. Reason: You can never proofread enough
Librarians rule, Oook
Definitely a goal for any community and one everybody should keep in mind. Also, it's always good to have more Tolkien fans.
I guess when this vaunted "board with a social conscience" was at its peak I wasn't around yet, but I find it just fine in the direction it's going. People apologizing for misunderstandings and old fights? People with different ideologies agreeing that they can approach one another like grownups instead of going on the defense? That's fantastic. More of that all around! I've had fantastic arguments with Sarahfeena with us completely disagreeing with one another and yet she's also one of the Mellos I respect most.
I'm about as bad at performing masculinity as a gay man can get, and yet I have to be honest: the "hate speech" linked in the OP doesn't strike me as such. It's an over the top, hyperbolic furry joke. I'm not denying some gay men might be offended by it, but LGBT people are not some monolithic group and we aren't all required to feel the same way. I, personally, don't care about offensive language one bit. It's not the words that are the problem, but hate. If the LGBT people on Giraffe Boards are being treated well there (and from what I've seen the lesbians, the gays, the bis, and the guy who took pictures of his naked butt while wearing lace stockings were treated quite well) I don't see an issue.
Aw, thanks Peeta. In our defense, though, in the one major disagreement we had, you were just misunderstanding my position. Once I expressed it with my usual precision we were pretty much on the same page.
But, seriously, I think if we can't hear each others' points of view, then there's not much point to having a message board, is there?
Yeeeeah, I have to say I think Zombies! is putting on some kind of performance art there. I could be wrong, but I think it's not worth being outraged by something so over-the-top.I'm about as bad at performing masculinity as a gay man can get, and yet I have to be honest: the "hate speech" linked in the OP doesn't strike me as such. It's an over the top, hyperbolic furry joke. I'm not denying some gay men might be offended by it, but LGBT people are not some monolithic group and we aren't all required to feel the same way. I, personally, don't care about offensive language one bit. It's not the words that are the problem, but hate. If the LGBT people on Giraffe Boards are being treated well there (and from what I've seen the lesbians, the gays, the bis, and the guy who took pictures of his naked butt while wearing lace stockings were treated quite well) I don't see an issue.
And, I should add, I'm glad you're reconsidering us, Malacandra.
"I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."
-Jim Rockford
I haven't the faintest idea what you are talking about. Really. I'm afraid I'm that clueless.
As luck would have it, I can more or less demonstrate this - below is post #23 from An Gadai's "ask me about Ireland" thread, in which Sir Richard Ffoulkes asked where "vagina borg" came from:
I didn't realize it was offensive and if it caused you pain, I apologize.You know, I myself am a little hazy on the exact origin. IIRC, the term "vagina borg" comes from a thread started by Sarafeena about SAHM. In the resulting discussion, someone, I think either Sarafeena or Zuul, made a reference to "the vagina borg" while describing feminist group-think. I was quite taken by it.
Meanwhile, back at the Dope, there had recently been a few threads obsessing about charter membership status, as happens over there from time to time. I put the two concepts together, and thus was "charter member of the vagina borg" born.
It fits me well, since I am something of an old-school feminist. I have forced myself to act more tolerant and accepting of different views, but in my heart of hearts I secretly believe that everyone should follow a rigid definition of feminism that is precisely identical to my own.
Bolding mine.
Malacandra, I have no interest in arguing with you about any of this, so consider that what I'm about to say is not directed at you, and don't trouble yourself with it.
Hi, Rabbit. Remember how you mischaracterized what I said earlier in this thread? Yeah. This shit is what I meant. Congrats and enjoy.
Oh John and Paul. Those smiles. The laughter. The Joy.
Shortly before John's death the two discussed a reunion while watching an episode of Saturday Night Live together. True story.
comcast guy - m4m - 18 (nb)
seem like we had that connection when we looked at each other
you had a blue shirt on nice asss,dought you will see this but dosnt hurt to try, but id love to play with you. tell me what you where fixing, or the street name,or describe me.
"I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."
-Jim Rockford
Hi Taumpy. It's no trouble - really, you can't point at something I post and call it "this shit" and expect me to say nothing about it. I'm not sure what it is you're taking offence at. I neither ridiculed anyone nor implied that Mello ought not to be taking pains to be trans-friendly or GQ-friendly; only that I expected the same level of consideration for myself. Peace be with you.
Librarians rule, Oook
Accepted. For the peanut gallery, it seems to have started here or hereabouts, but I can well believe you'd long since forgotten it had anything to do with me, if indeed you noticed in the first place. And as you've changed your title without further ado, I think we should toss another faggot on the fire and carry on singing "Kumbaya".
(Aside: Only yesterday I had to help out a history teacher as to why they piled faggots around heretics when they burned them back in Bloody Mary's time. Being English, she was thinking of meatballs not gays -- the kids were another story -- but understanding dawned once I explained about bundles of sticks. That's why the bassoon has the name it does in Italian.)
Librarians rule, Oook
I'm not particularly offended by what you've said, and I didn't mean to imply you'd ridiculed anyone. But frankly, it's a little ridiculous that you feel that you can equate trans and genderqueer people talking about their life experiences with your desire to go unchallenged when you make sexist statements. Granted, I'll give you that in that last thread you participated in Pepper ripped the hell into you in a way that was well.. insane. But otherwise? You yourself chalked it up to privilege, and welp, bingo, man. You're right about that.
I was wondering how long it would take for a tranny to get offended and start lecturing somebody on privilege and how everybody else has it so much better. The answer was 3 pages. Whiners.
Also the GB is just as bad as this board. I recommend we cool people just take off for somethingawful where all people care about is your 10 bux.
Well, Taumpy, here's the thing. This isn't a safe space, we can't silence people based on their privilege (which, if we did, I'd be in trouble cause I gots plenty). Everyone here has their authentic experience, and Zuul's is different from mine is different from yours is different from Malacandra's, etc etc etc. If the presence of some of those voices means that you don't want to be here, well, I'm really sorry for that, but I'm not going to presume to decide whose voices are worth hearing. And I don't think anyone should tell someone else what they should be willing to be exposed to. That's no good for the board, and it's pretty condescending.
If that is what Taumpy meant, I agree with Sarah, but is it what Taumpy meant?
Well, I'm basing it off everything Taumpy's said in this thread, not just his last post. But that's how I've taken it, anyway.
Look, I'll be honest, I'm not even sure what Malacandra is talking about and Taumpy's referencing it as "Yeah. This shit is what I meant." is clearly not going to evoke a positive or construction reaction or discourse so at this point I am just confused.
No, I don't want to silence anyone entirely. Malacandra and everyone else are welcome to their viewpoints. But if he expects not to get called on things, well, that's silly. Frankly, if I said something that someone took issue with I would hope they would call me on it too.
Taumpy: Oh noes, you aren't a super powerful wave of destruction.
Panther Squad: It's true! My scythe does not shorn the biomonsters in great swaths like it ought!
Your statement here is a little worrisome. Would you care to clarify? Because it is reading, to me, like you are saying that Tom shouldn't expect protection from something that is genuinely offensive/derogatory or -phobic just...because? In practice I haven't seen Mello operate that way, but maybe it was because Exy and Myrna were usually there first. And sometimes me.
comcast guy - m4m - 18 (nb)
seem like we had that connection when we looked at each other
you had a blue shirt on nice asss,dought you will see this but dosnt hurt to try, but id love to play with you. tell me what you where fixing, or the street name,or describe me.
NO.
Not every point of view is equal, not when ignorance and bigotry is on the other side, and there are things more important than making sure everyone gets along.
ETA: Honestly, though, I'm beginning to see why I received multiple PMs from people about how creepy and gross a certain Mello was being in chate, while at the same time never saying anything to the guy in question.
Last edited by Myrnalene; 01 Feb 2011 at 04:33 PM.
everything in nature is sort of gross when you look at it too closely. what is an apple? basically the uterus of a tree - terrifel
Oh snap, tell us more about this creepy and gross person in chate!
double poast
Last edited by Myrnalene; 01 Feb 2011 at 04:38 PM.
everything in nature is sort of gross when you look at it too closely. what is an apple? basically the uterus of a tree - terrifel
everything in nature is sort of gross when you look at it too closely. what is an apple? basically the uterus of a tree - terrifel
Last edited by Myrnalene; 01 Feb 2011 at 04:48 PM.
everything in nature is sort of gross when you look at it too closely. what is an apple? basically the uterus of a tree - terrifel
I did not say that all viewpoints are equal. I said this is not a board where only one viewpoint can be expressed. Yes, I expect people to be called out for it. I expect there to be discussion. I expect there not to be hate speech. But you cannot expect never to be offended.
And because I am aware that my bringing up the Skald thing looks vindictive and sort of crazy, I will say this.
There seems to be a huge investment on this board with getting along, to the exclusion of all other factors. Maybe because the numbers are so small, I don't know. I mentioned the thing with Skald because it's an example of exactly what I am talking about - the people were put off by it said nothing, because they were too concerned that any kind of negativity would hurt the board. So it went on for fucking months, not because they didn't think it was wrong, but because drama is ~bad~!
Sarah and Zuul, pretending that all opinions are valuable, even the problematic ones, and and putting up with sexism and harassment and transphobia or whatever else isn't going to bring more people to the board. It's not going to make Mellophant more popular. It's not going to make the people who will criticize it stop criticizing it. It's just going to leave you in a place where you have to sit back and listen while assholes say things that you know is wrong, while you smile and nod.
Well, you are fucking welcome to it.
Last edited by Myrnalene; 01 Feb 2011 at 05:17 PM.
everything in nature is sort of gross when you look at it too closely. what is an apple? basically the uterus of a tree - terrifel
Myrnalene, look at this post. Now go read what you linked to and identified as hate speech in your OP. You've responded to hatesfreedom since this post so you must have seen what he wrote.
I fully support and respect the LGBT people who want to point out things they find offensive, or to ignore the things they find beneath comment. What I find problematic is a straight, cis ally who wants to lecture queer people on how they should behave while engaging in the exact behavior she's lecturing them on.
Sometimes a battle isn't worth fighting, or it's a joke, or you're annoyed for a second and then find you don't care, or you're friends with someone and just shrug and accept them the way they are, outrageous commentary and all. We cut ourselves slack when we do this in our own lives. Try cutting a little slack for others, too.
This entire thread is not a battle worth fighting. I'd strongly recommend people just walk away. I'm off to enjoy some fine game threads.
Last edited by Myrnalene; 01 Feb 2011 at 05:16 PM.
everything in nature is sort of gross when you look at it too closely. what is an apple? basically the uterus of a tree - terrifel
And if people want to call me on my silly sexist views then they can, and if the views are as silly as all that then they shouldn't be too hard to refute. I'm cool with all of that. All I was asking for was that it should be done without name-calling or assertions that I only hold such views because I'm pathologically terrified of women or bitter about one that ill-treated me in the past or can't get women to have sex with me. I certainly didn't intend to get into any More-Oppressed-Than-Thou pissing contests with anyone.
Librarians rule, Oook
I still love you, Sarah!
Science flies you to the moon; religion flies you into buildings.
Oh and FYI, "getting along" isn't my goal for this board, not at all. When you get rid of all the posters who disagree with you, then you end up with a board where everyone gets along.