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Thread: The mystery of the falling birds

  1. #1
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    Default The mystery of the falling birds

    For those who missed it, up to 5,000 red-winged blackbirds and starlings fell from the sky just before midnight on New Year's Eve in a one-mile area over Beebe, Arkansas.

    Arkansas game officials probe mystery of falling birds

    Unfortunately, it doesn't turn out to be as "mysterious" as the news are trying to make it sound. That area of Arkansas has much more violent weather than the rest of the region and blackbirds are known to fly in giant flocks. If a flock was startled by fireworks and took flight, it's not a huge leap to say they may have run into some weather and part of the flock was injured and fell to earth.

    But then again, maybe I'm just a tool of the conspiracy...
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  2. #2
    Prehistoric Bitchslapper Sarahfeena's avatar
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    Oh, Zuul, you're always so rational and no fun.

  3. #3
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    Peeta is right. I am Tim Minchin.
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  4. #4
    A Groupie Marsilia's avatar
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    You mean it wasn't aliens?
    So, I'll whisper in the dark, hoping you'll hear me.

  5. #5
    Prehistoric Bitchslapper Sarahfeena's avatar
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    Let's make up our own theories.

    I say it was gamma rays.

  6. #6
    Elen síla lumenn' omentielvo What Exit?'s avatar
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    My brother mentioned this story and I said it was clearly caused by aliens.

  7. #7
    Oliphaunt
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    Chupacabra. It's always a chupacabra. THEY'RE BRANCHING OUT TO POULTRY.

  8. #8
    Prehistoric Bitchslapper Sarahfeena's avatar
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    Oh, wait, I'll bet it was chemtrails.

  9. #9
    A Dude Peeta Mellark's avatar
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    I want to belieeeeeeeve...

    ...that it is the government secretly testing biological weapons.

  10. #10
    Stegodon
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    I think someone in Arkansas got a Witchcraft-for-dummies book for Christmas.
    Science flies you to the moon; religion flies you into buildings.

  11. #11
    For whom nothing is written. Oliveloaf's avatar
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    It was the Gay Agenda. Every gay person hates birds, everyone knows it.

    Focus on the Family has a pamphlet on how gay people are destroying wildlife everywhere. It's a must read.

    I also think it was Polish people. And boat mechanics.
    "I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."

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  12. #12
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    In addition to the thousands of blackbirds, there were also 100,000 dead fish. o_O

    And they were all drum fish.
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  13. #13
    The Apostabulous Inner Stickler's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Oliveloaf View post
    It was the Gay Agenda. Every gay person hates birds, everyone knows it.

    Focus on the Family has a pamphlet on how gay people are destroying wildlife everywhere. It's a must read.

    I also think it was Polish people. And boat mechanics.
    Ok, who let a straight get a copy of the minutes from the last Homosexual Seminar? C'mon, fess up.

    Quote Originally posted by Orual View post
    Chupacabra. It's always a chupacabra. THEY'RE BRANCHING OUT TO POULTRY.
    Chupapajaro doesn't have the same ring, though.
    I don't think so, therefore I'm probably not.

  14. #14
    Clueless but well-meaning Hatshepsut's avatar
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    It's AVIAN FLU!!!!!

  15. #15
    Elen síla lumenn' omentielvo What Exit?'s avatar
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    Clearly this is the lead up to the Zombie Apocalypse. We must nuke Arkansas before it spreads.

  16. #16
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    According to the radio this morning, Jesus is coming back to Earth in May and he's heading to Arkansas.

    I guess Jesus hates blackbirds...?
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  17. #17
    Elen síla lumenn' omentielvo What Exit?'s avatar
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    Well blackbirds, crows and ravens often are associated with the unholy or even Lucifer so I suppose that is perfectly reasonable. What about the drumfish though?

  18. #18
    Oliphaunt
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    Quote Originally posted by Inner Stickler View post
    Quote Originally posted by Orual View post
    Chupacabra. It's always a chupacabra. THEY'RE BRANCHING OUT TO POULTRY.
    Chupapajaro doesn't have the same ring, though.
    I don't know, I kind of like it. 'Chupapescado' is just weird, though.

  19. #19
    A Dude Peeta Mellark's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by What Exit? View post
    Well blackbirds, crows and ravens often are associated with the unholy or even Lucifer so I suppose that is perfectly reasonable. What about the drumfish though?
    Good eatin'.

  20. #20
    Elephant Tuckerfan's avatar
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    “Aflockalypse” — Mass Animal Deaths Now Mapped on Google
    You can now keep track of what is being called “Aflockalypse” on Google Maps. Google Maps links reports of animal deaths, as well as reports of birds that have succumbed to the bird flu. By clicking on the blue balloons on the map you will be given a link that will provide the original news report. You can also click the links in the left side panel of the map. The map provides a quick look at where the mass, unexplained deaths are taking place. But some say the map could help solve the mystery, as there has been suggestions the map could be overlaid on a current global oil exploration map to test the hypothesis that the deaths could have been caused by ground penetrating tomography.
    Proud member of the '09 Phanters! K.I.L.L. S.M.U.R.F.S.
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  21. #21
    Clueless but well-meaning Hatshepsut's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Inner Stickler View post
    Chupapajaro doesn't have the same ring, though.
    Chpapajaro sounds like a stew reflecting a melange of Native American, Mexican, and - forgive the terminology - "white trash" culinary influences. It's made with pinto beans, chili powder, canned tomatoes, and Philadelphia cream cheese. Ideally it should be served with warm fresh tortilla chips, but in a pinch Frito Lay corn chips will do.

    Sorry. I'm hungry.
    Last edited by Hatshepsut; 08 Jan 2011 at 03:31 PM.

  22. #22
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    Mmm. I really want some of that chupapajaro stew.
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  23. #23
    A Groupie Marsilia's avatar
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    I heard on TV just now that the Department of Fish and Wildlife claims that the birds were killed by blunt force trauma. Dunno how that happened, but that's what they're saying.
    So, I'll whisper in the dark, hoping you'll hear me.

  24. #24
    Wanna cuddle? RabbitMage's avatar
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    Being backhanded by the Mighty Fist of God is probably still 'blunt force trauma'. So it was probably that.

  25. #25
    A Groupie Marsilia's avatar
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    His eye is on the sparrow, because it makes His aim that much better?
    So, I'll whisper in the dark, hoping you'll hear me.

  26. #26
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    Those birds were uppity. God just had to make an example of them.
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  27. #27
    Wanna cuddle? RabbitMage's avatar
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    Would you say they were flying in the face of God?

  28. #28
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    Well, they were certainly not heaven-sent.
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  29. #29
    Oliphaunt
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    Quote Originally posted by Marsilia View post
    I heard on TV just now that the Department of Fish and Wildlife claims that the birds were killed by blunt force trauma. Dunno how that happened, but that's what they're saying.
    THEY FLEW INTO AN INVISIBLE ALIEN SPACESHIP.
    Last edited by Orual; 28 Jan 2011 at 01:18 PM.

  30. #30
    like Gandalf in a way Nrblex's avatar
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    Out of all of the things that have died, have any reptiles died? No? HA. That proves it. Obviously reptilian aliens at work.

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