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Thread: How to Ask for a Raise

  1. #1
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    Default How to Ask for a Raise



    In these difficult economic times, we're all looking to get a little extra money coming in. Those of us who are lucky enough to have a job still want to be making the most of it. We want to be sure our bosses know that we are good, valuable employees. Sometimes we need to do a little work to ensure that they're paying attention and recognize that fact and reward us with raises appropriately.

    But how do you do that? It can be awkward going in and demanding extra money, after all. We don't want to feel like lumbering, smelly oafs stomping around and complaining. We want our bosses to want to give us raises!

    Luckily, Women's Day and Summer's Eve are here to help.



    Wait. What was that?



    o i c
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  2. #2
    Porno Dealing Monster pepperlandgirl's avatar
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    A freshness pick-me-up?

    I can honestly say I've never lacked confidence because I thought my vag wasn't fresh enough. Great, now I have something else to be self-conscious about (unless I buy their wonderful product!).
    I'm still swimming in harmony. I'm still dreaming of flight. I'm still lost in the waves night after night...

    Do you have an idea or an article you would like to see on the Electric Elephant? Email me at theelectricelephant(at)gmail.com!

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    The underlying message here is "make sure you're fresh down there because if you're gonna get a raise, it's gonna involve being bent over your boss's desk."

    You'll need to bring the wipes with you because you may end up having to screw a lot of people to get that raise, and you want to smell springtime fresh once you work your way into the vice president's office.

    I like to think that is some photo they bought out of a photographer's portfolio, and the model just happened to pick up the magazine that day, and go, I'M IN A DOUCHE AD?!

  4. #4
    Padding Enabler Panther Squad's avatar
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    Feminine cleansing cloths? They sound like vaginal-themed wet naps.

    if I ever go for an interview and there's a woman there also interviewing, I will assume all bathroom visits are to freshen up her vajayjay
    comcast guy - m4m - 18 (nb)
    seem like we had that connection when we looked at each other
    you had a blue shirt on nice asss,dought you will see this but dosnt hurt to try, but id love to play with you. tell me what you where fixing, or the street name,or describe me.

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    Just think of all the times a boss has had to say, "You did great work on the Carlton account, Susanne, but I'm afraid we can only offer senior manager position to someone with impeccable vaginal hygiene."

  6. #6
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Panther Squad View post
    Feminine cleansing cloths? They sound like vaginal-themed wet naps.
    Yes, that's exactly what they are.

    I like Exy's take on it, though I think the subtext is supposed to be that your vagina is so absolutely revolting and smelly that you must wash it throughout the day or else suffer monetarily.
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  7. #7
    MOON GIRL FIGHTS CRIME Myrnalene's avatar
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    Holy crap. That's the spiritual descendant of ads like this:



    They are designed to inspire paranoia and self-loathing and in order to line the pockets of these companies who are probably owned and run by men.
    everything in nature is sort of gross when you look at it too closely. what is an apple? basically the uterus of a tree - terrifel

  8. #8
    For whom nothing is written. Oliveloaf's avatar
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    I know I have a hard time getting a day off if my nads smell.
    "I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."

    -Jim Rockford

  9. #9
    my god, he's full of stars... OneCentStamp's avatar
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    "Great job on the XXX project. You made me look good."

    o rly?
    "You laugh at me because I'm different; I laugh at you because I'm on nitrous."

    find me at Goodreads

  10. #10
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by OneCentStamp View post
    "Great job on the XXX project. You made me look good."

    o rly?
    See post #3.
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  11. #11
    Porno Dealing Monster pepperlandgirl's avatar
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    Just as important. Be sure to eat a healthy breakfast
    Something about this made me laugh and laugh. Eating is as important as douching? It seems like one of those things would be more crucial to your general health and wellbeing.
    I'm still swimming in harmony. I'm still dreaming of flight. I'm still lost in the waves night after night...

    Do you have an idea or an article you would like to see on the Electric Elephant? Email me at theelectricelephant(at)gmail.com!

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    Mr. Bossington, I think I deserve a raise. Not only did I do excellent work on the Stephens project, I also think I've built a reputation as a hardworking employee that helps other people with their problems. And, additionally, my vagina has a pleasing lavender and jasmine scent that I think makes the whole office a more pleasant and productive environment. Here, put your nose in my crotch. Don't be shy. Isn't that nice?

  13. #13
    A Groupie Marsilia's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Exy View post
    And, additionally, my vagina has a pleasing lavender and jasmine scent that I think makes the whole office a more pleasant and productive environment. Here, put your nose in my crotch. Don't be shy. Isn't that nice?
    So, I missed that promotion because of vag stench?
    So, I'll whisper in the dark, hoping you'll hear me.

  14. #14
    Prehistoric Bitchslapper Sarahfeena's avatar
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    I think whoever makes Summers Eve has gotten what they wanted...this ad's being discussed on every message board I read! lol.

  15. #15
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    True enough. Advertising is, in many ways, kind of like trolling.
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  16. #16
    Free Exy Cluricaun's avatar
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    I actually go the opposite route and the day I ask for a raise I make sure to rub feta cheese and sauerkraut all over my bits, and then if they turn me down I drop trou and say "Give me 30% or I will force you to continue to smell my horrible testicles."

    Works every time.
    Hell, if I didn't do things just because they made me feel a bit ridiculous, I wouldn't have much of a social life. - Santo Rugger.

  17. #17
    Padding Enabler Panther Squad's avatar
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    Feta cheese and sauerkraut actually sounds very tasty.

    When do we think febreeze is going to get in on this vaginal freshness action? I think floral-scented panty liners are next in line. Or scratch and sniff; scratch your nether regions to release the scent when you need it!
    comcast guy - m4m - 18 (nb)
    seem like we had that connection when we looked at each other
    you had a blue shirt on nice asss,dought you will see this but dosnt hurt to try, but id love to play with you. tell me what you where fixing, or the street name,or describe me.

  18. #18
    Elephant artifex's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Panther Squad View post
    I think floral-scented panty liners are next in line.
    They already make scented pantiliners, but I think they're becoming less popular as the "fragrance-free, dye-free" movement gains headway over the "itchy irritated vag" camp.

  19. #19
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    I'm afraid you kind of missed the boat there, Panther.

    Scented panty liners and tampons.
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  20. #20
    Padding Enabler Panther Squad's avatar
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    Why would they make chamomile scented panty liners?!

    I want my panty liners to smell like I've just been scorched by a poor but gorgeous brazilian man -- dollar store expired suntan lotion, cheap cocoa butter, a little like the ocean, and a hint of gel mixed with sweat.
    comcast guy - m4m - 18 (nb)
    seem like we had that connection when we looked at each other
    you had a blue shirt on nice asss,dought you will see this but dosnt hurt to try, but id love to play with you. tell me what you where fixing, or the street name,or describe me.

  21. #21
    MOON GIRL FIGHTS CRIME Myrnalene's avatar
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    everything in nature is sort of gross when you look at it too closely. what is an apple? basically the uterus of a tree - terrifel

  22. #22
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    Aw. Poor douche.
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  23. #23
    Confused Box Guy fachverwirrt's avatar
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    Is Summer's Eve really a douche, or is it just a special soap?

  24. #24
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    Summer's Eve makes a number of products and most of them are associated with vulvas. If something is for hygiene and is called "feminine", it's usually related to female genitals. They have a feminine wash, feminine cleansing clothes, feminine deodorant, feminine powder, douches, and anti-itch gel and cream, which you no doubt need after using all of the other stuff.
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  25. #25
    Confused Box Guy fachverwirrt's avatar
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    Right. I understand what part of the body Summer's Eve is used on. But it's not, strictly speaking, a douche, is it?

  26. #26
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Zuul View post
    Summer's Eve makes a number of products and most of them are associated with vulvas. If something is for hygiene and is called "feminine", it's usually related to female genitals. They have a feminine wash, feminine cleansing clothes, feminine deodorant, feminine powder, douches, and anti-itch gel and cream, which you no doubt need after using all of the other stuff.
    It's actually the archetypal douche, AFAIK.
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  27. #27
    Confused Box Guy fachverwirrt's avatar
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    Sorry, I'm not being totally clear (I'm posting from my phone, which is sort of hard and slow*). I realize that Summer's Eve makes douches, but the advertisement in question is for "feminine wash" which it seems is intended to wash the vulva, not flush out the vagina.

    I'm really just being pedantic.

    *That's what she said.

  28. #28
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    Ah, okay. Yeah, the products being specifically advertised above are a feminine wash and cleansing cloths for the vulva. Neither product is specifically for flushing the vagina, but externally cleansing a woman's genitals. But, Summer's Eve = douche to most people and it's funnier to say "poor douche" than "poor company which manufactures a variety of female genital washing products."
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  29. #29
    Confused Box Guy fachverwirrt's avatar
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    Pfft. When has humor ever trumped pedantry?

    Speaking of humor, in my last post my phone tried to auto-correct "vulva" to "Vulcan". Thank god for preview.

  30. #30
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    It'd be funnier the other way around. The Enterprise taking a trip to the planet Vulva...
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  31. #31
    Confused Box Guy fachverwirrt's avatar
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    I sort of like "Use Summer's Eve feminine wash to keep your Vulcan clean and fresh!"

  32. #32
    Elephant artifex's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Zuul View post
    The Enterprise taking a trip to the planet Vulva...
    Nerdy sex euphemism for the day, complete with a penis nickname!

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