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  1. #1
    aka ivan the not-quite-as-terrible ivan astikov's avatar
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    Default The ivan astikov show

    Look, I'm not really sorry if I've offended some of you guise, because it's your prerogative to be offended, but as a person who doesn't define himself by his sexuality, and whose only stereotype to overcome, is that of an ex-criminal, you all come across as a little sexually-obsessed, to my eyes.

    With regards to SSM, I'd have more respect for you if you boycotted that whole institution and still insisted on having the same rights as those who have a piece of paper to confirm their commitment to one another.

    Moderator note: The first seven posts were removed from this thread. If you guys really want to encourage ivan's schtick, have at. - Zuul
    Last edited by ivan astikov; 10 Aug 2010 at 01:28 AM.
    To sleep, perchance to experience amygdalocortical activation and prefrontal deactivation.

  2. #2
    Oliphaunt Taumpy's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by ivan astikov View post
    you all come across as a little sexually-obsessed, to my eyes.
    It's already been pointed out to you that the topic of this thread is conformity to gender normative behavior, not sexuality. You come across as blowing hot air about something you know fuck-all about.

    With regards to SSM, I'd have more respect for you if you boycotted that whole institution and still insisted on having the same rights as those who have a piece of paper to confirm their commitment to one another.
    Yeah, that piece of paper is worthless. Please tell that to these guys. I wonder how they'd respond to that. (btw, SSM is completely outside the scope of this thread topic.)

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    Padding Enabler Panther Squad's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by ivan astikov View post
    Look, I'm not really sorry if I've offended some of you guise, because it's your prerogative to be offended, but as a person who doesn't define himself by his sexuality, and whose only stereotype to overcome, is that of an ex-criminal, you all come across as a little sexually-obsessed, to my eyes.

    With regards to SSM, I'd have more respect for you if you boycotted that whole institution and still insisted on having the same rights as those who have a piece of paper to confirm their commitment to one another.
    Telling someone it's their prerogative to be offended is kind of like saying it's your prerogative to feel pain if I punch you upside your head. Dismissal of something is, AGAIN, denigration.

    And you talk like your respect is worth getting.

    Mods, is it possible to move his post and the replies to the Thunderdome. I need to get me my wire mesh earrings and I'll be right over.
    comcast guy - m4m - 18 (nb)
    seem like we had that connection when we looked at each other
    you had a blue shirt on nice asss,dought you will see this but dosnt hurt to try, but id love to play with you. tell me what you where fixing, or the street name,or describe me.

  4. #4
    aka ivan the not-quite-as-terrible ivan astikov's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Taumpy View post
    It's already been pointed out to you that the topic of this thread is conformity to gender normative behavior, not sexuality. You come across as blowing hot air about something you know fuck-all about.
    Open a Thunderdome thread elaborating on your opinions, and I'll tell you what I think you come across like.
    Quote Originally posted by Taumpy View post
    Yeah, that piece of paper is worthless. Please tell that to these guys. I wonder how they'd respond to that. (btw, SSM is completely outside the scope of this thread topic.)
    Yes, imho, it is worthless and is only necessary if you want your union sanctioned by the state and any perks or rights that go with it. Protip: I wasn't the first to mention SSM.
    Last edited by ivan astikov; 10 Aug 2010 at 07:24 AM.
    To sleep, perchance to experience amygdalocortical activation and prefrontal deactivation.

  5. #5
    aka ivan the not-quite-as-terrible ivan astikov's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Panther Squad View post
    Telling someone it's their prerogative to be offended is kind of like saying it's your prerogative to feel pain if I punch you upside your head. Dismissal of something is, AGAIN, denigration.

    And you talk like your respect is worth getting.

    Mods, is it possible to move his post and the replies to the Thunderdome. I need to get me my wire mesh earrings and I'll be right over.
    See you there, tough guy.
    To sleep, perchance to experience amygdalocortical activation and prefrontal deactivation.

  6. #6
    aka ivan the not-quite-as-terrible ivan astikov's avatar
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    ps. You are asking why groups break into smaller groups and marginalise some sections, as though it is some great mystery, when all it is, is human nature. When you've idealised that by whatever means, your problems will be solved.
    Last edited by ivan astikov; 10 Aug 2010 at 08:25 AM.
    To sleep, perchance to experience amygdalocortical activation and prefrontal deactivation.

  7. #7
    aka ivan the not-quite-as-terrible ivan astikov's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Panther Squad View post
    Telling someone it's their prerogative to be offended is kind of like saying it's your prerogative to feel pain if I punch you upside your head.
    Actually, unless you knock me out with your first shot, it's my prerogative to strike back.
    To sleep, perchance to experience amygdalocortical activation and prefrontal deactivation.

  8. #8
    aka ivan the not-quite-as-terrible ivan astikov's avatar
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    Hey guise, I won't let you down for giving me this big opportunity.

    If this isn't the most viewed and responded to thread on the whole programme after a year, I'll walk away from here shamefaced.

    Come on, try and keep things interesting, and I'll do my bit.
    To sleep, perchance to experience amygdalocortical activation and prefrontal deactivation.

  9. #9
    Oliphaunt Taumpy's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by ivan astikov View post
    Open a Thunderdome thread elaborating on your opinions, and I'll tell you what I think you come across like.
    We're here now. Please enlighten me.

    Yes, imho, it is worthless and is only necessary if you want your union sanctioned by the state and any perks or rights that go with it.
    Translation: I have no point. I've always assumed that you were coming into threads being intentionally obtuse, ivan, but I may have misjudged you. Because what you've just said is "I would have respect for gays if they boycotted an institution that's necessary for them to enter in order to get equal rights, oh btw, that institution is worthless unless you want equal rights".

    Protip: I wasn't the first to mention SSM.
    Touche. Of course, one of those mentions was in response to your stupid hypothetical about "hetero pride parades".
    Taumpy: Oh noes, you aren't a super powerful wave of destruction.
    Panther Squad: It's true! My scythe does not shorn the biomonsters in great swaths like it ought!

  10. #10
    aka ivan the not-quite-as-terrible ivan astikov's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Taumpy View post
    We're here now. Please enlighten me.
    Basically, you give supercilious, know-it all pricks a bad name.

    Next question?
    To sleep, perchance to experience amygdalocortical activation and prefrontal deactivation.

  11. #11
    Confused Box Guy fachverwirrt's avatar
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    Tom, stop giving me a bad name.

  12. #12
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    See, his inconsideration knows no bounds! He'll even drag down a fellow Mellohead.
    To sleep, perchance to experience amygdalocortical activation and prefrontal deactivation.

  13. #13
    MOON GIRL FIGHTS CRIME Myrnalene's avatar
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    ivan, shut the fuck up.

    First of all, as has been pointed out to you several times, the OP of The Crucible thread was about a very specific topic that none of your posts had anything to do with. Just because it contained the word "gay" does not mean that it's the place for Random and Offensive Gay-Related Thoughts That Flit Through Ivan's Brain. If you can't contribute thoughtfully and articulately to a discussion, that your opinion is not fucking wanted. Zuul is not going to put up with that shit.

    Secondly, let me level with you. You're a straight person. I'm a straight person. Neither of us really have to worry about discrimination, or hate crimes, or marriage rights, do we? It's all academic to us. Therefore it would be pretty fucking gross for us to come into a thread full of LGBT people and start lecturing them about shit that actually affects their lives on a fundamental level every single day. So DON'T.

    You want to have an actual discussion? Then shut up and listen to what these good people are saying, because they know a lot more about this stuff than you. You just want to shout your ill-informed jabber into the air and ignore every good faith response you get? Then fuck off. There's no shortage of loudmouthed straight / cis people everywhere on the internet and real life. I don't want to see that crap on Mello.
    everything in nature is sort of gross when you look at it too closely. what is an apple? basically the uterus of a tree - terrifel

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    Oliphaunt Taumpy's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by ivan astikov View post
    Basically, you give supercilious, know-it all pricks a bad name.
    Yeah, it's tough knowing things. Way better to stumble into all your discussions with half baked ideas and hypotheticals. I wish I was good at that.
    Taumpy: Oh noes, you aren't a super powerful wave of destruction.
    Panther Squad: It's true! My scythe does not shorn the biomonsters in great swaths like it ought!

  15. #15
    I've had better days, but I don't care! hatesfreedom's avatar
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    rock on ivan. all the trannies on this board are a bunch of victimized whiners

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    MOON GIRL FIGHTS CRIME Myrnalene's avatar
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    yeah so, tranny is a slur and you're not cute, jsyk
    everything in nature is sort of gross when you look at it too closely. what is an apple? basically the uterus of a tree - terrifel

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    I've had better days, but I don't care! hatesfreedom's avatar
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    trannie trannie trannie

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    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    Moderator note: Twenty-four hour caging for hatesfreedom. I would prefer not to see that slur again.

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    aka ivan the not-quite-as-terrible ivan astikov's avatar
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    Myrn, dial it down a notch or two; you're coming across like a screeching banshee - it's not a very good look for you.

    Tom, you might know things, but you don't seem to know when to shut the fuck up and bow out gracefully, do you?
    To sleep, perchance to experience amygdalocortical activation and prefrontal deactivation.

  20. #20
    Oliphaunt Taumpy's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by ivan astikov View post
    Myrn, dial it down a notch or two; you're coming across like a screeching banshee - it's not a very good look for you.
    I think she wears that look rather well.

    Tom, you might know things, but you don't seem to know when to shut the fuck up and bow out gracefully, do you?
    Well, I'm not a fighter, ivan, so I'm not well versed in the etiquette of these situations. Of course, if I take my cues from you we might be in this thread a long while.

  21. #21
    MOON GIRL FIGHTS CRIME Myrnalene's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by ivan astikov View post
    You don't seem to know when to shut the fuck up and bow out gracefully, do you?
    Do you have any sense of irony of self-awareness, or did you just type this with a straight face?

    ivan, do you want to have a meaningful exchange of ideas with the other posters on this board, or not?
    everything in nature is sort of gross when you look at it too closely. what is an apple? basically the uterus of a tree - terrifel

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    aka ivan the not-quite-as-terrible ivan astikov's avatar
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    Zuul, you seem to be using your mod powers for personal reasons. Is that a healthy position to be taking? Or is "tranny" really too subversive for The Thunderdome? This seems a very lame use of The Cage from where I'm sat.
    To sleep, perchance to experience amygdalocortical activation and prefrontal deactivation.

  23. #23
    aka ivan the not-quite-as-terrible ivan astikov's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Myrnalene View post
    Do you have any sense of irony of self-awareness, or did you just type this with a straight face?

    ivan, do you want to have a meaningful exchange of ideas with the other posters on this board, or not?
    "Irony and Self-Awareness"? I could write a thin book on it.

    Do I want to have a meaningful exchange of ideas with the other posters on this board?

    Some of them. Some I couldn't give a runny shit for.
    To sleep, perchance to experience amygdalocortical activation and prefrontal deactivation.

  24. #24
    MOON GIRL FIGHTS CRIME Myrnalene's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by ivan astikov View post
    Some of them.
    Well, I don't want to play the No One Likes You Game, especially since we just played it a couple of weeks ago with another asshole. But do you think you are ingratiating yourself to anyone on this board by acting like you are?
    everything in nature is sort of gross when you look at it too closely. what is an apple? basically the uterus of a tree - terrifel

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    aka ivan the not-quite-as-terrible ivan astikov's avatar
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    Here we go with the personality contests again. Get some fucking perspective, woman.
    Last edited by ivan astikov; 10 Aug 2010 at 11:22 AM.
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    Quote Originally posted by I am a troll View post
    WOOSH, What Exit?

    Google search: "ivan astikov" +jews

    Search results: About 2,140 results (0.30 seconds)

    Shall I post the greatest hits?
    I've just tried that and got 375 views. You just don't know how not to exaggerate, do you?
    To sleep, perchance to experience amygdalocortical activation and prefrontal deactivation.

  27. #27
    Prehistoric Bitchslapper Sarahfeena's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by ivan astikov View post
    I've just tried that and got 375 views. You just don't know how not to exaggerate, do you?
    ivan, I didn't run the numbers, but come on. Even if it's 375, the content of those posts really says it all.

  28. #28
    MOON GIRL FIGHTS CRIME Myrnalene's avatar
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    This isn't about personality contests, ivan. I know it's hard for you to keep your eye on the ball, so to speak, so I'll go slowly.

    I asked if you want to have a meaningful exchange of ideas with anyone here. Cause it doesn't seem like you do. It seems like you want to spooge all over the place, and we're not interested in that, ok? So if that's what you want, kindly keep moving down the line.

    If it isn't what you what, you need to stop acting so defensive and listen. You didn't get this response because I am a banshee or Tom is a supercilious, know-it all prick ( ) or because Zuul is a transnazi. You're getting it because you said some stupid shit. Now, your choices are either to listen and to try and make an effort to understand what people are saying to you, and to try and participate a little bit in a good faith exchange with the very awesome posters here. Or, you can keep shouting jibberish while we all give each other that "someone farted" look until Zuul bans you. It's on you, man.

    Personally, I don't give a fuck what happens either way. But maybe you do.
    Last edited by Myrnalene; 10 Aug 2010 at 11:34 AM.
    everything in nature is sort of gross when you look at it too closely. what is an apple? basically the uterus of a tree - terrifel

  29. #29
    aka ivan the not-quite-as-terrible ivan astikov's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Sarahfeena View post
    ivan, I didn't run the numbers, but come on. Even if it's 375, the content of those posts really says it all.
    First up, they aren't all related to me dissing jews. Secondly, I'll defend any of those comments one by one, if you want to bring them forward.

    I'll start off with these 5.
    Quote Originally posted by I am a troll View post
    1. Q. How do you separate Jews and Money?
    A. With a crowbar.

    2. I think Sevastopol has caused far less conflict for this planet than Judaism, so I'm sticking up for him. Yes, as you might have guessed, I don't buy this "Chosen Ones" bollox either!

    3. Here's an idea - stop shouting "I'M A JEW!" everywhere you fucking go.

    4. Most of the planet's 6 billion population who are not one of the 20 million jews, are sick of hearing about your Jehovah-loving bollocks... well, I am anyway.

    5. If you are going to pick on Teh Jooz, there are far more recent crimes to accuse them of, if the history of their most representative organisation is anything to go by*.
    * Mossad, in case you are wondering. And if I die in an accident, it wasn't really one, I've just pissed off the wrong jew.
    1. This was a joke in GD, and in the context of reading the previous post, I thought it was rather funny, and hardly controversial.

    2. I believe this completely. Sevastopol has caused less world conflict than the jews as a group. Nothing controversial there, either.

    3. This is a bit objectionable, and of course, everyone should be allowed freedom of religious expression, but at the same time, don't expect not to be ridiculed for it, if it appears ridiculous.

    4. I believe if you did a worldwide poll, my opinion would be borne out here.

    5. Absolute fact. Mossad are one of, if not THE dodgiest groups of human beings on this planet. Sorry Mossad, but your record speaks for itself, and if we had access to your real records, you'd be up in an international court for crimes against humanity. Well, the Palestian and Arab members, at least.

    If you've got any more, bring 'em on.
    Last edited by ivan astikov; 10 Aug 2010 at 11:57 AM.
    To sleep, perchance to experience amygdalocortical activation and prefrontal deactivation.

  30. #30
    aka ivan the not-quite-as-terrible ivan astikov's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Myrnalene View post
    This isn't about personality contests, ivan. I know it's hard for you to keep your eye on the ball, so to speak, so I'll go slowly.
    See this? It might make you feel better to try and paint me as some kind of gibbering moron, but I'll match your wit and wisdom any day of the week.

    Quote Originally posted by Myrnalene View post
    I asked if you want to have a meaningful exchange of ideas with anyone here. Cause it doesn't seem like you do. It seems like you want to spooge all over the place, and we're not interested in that, ok? So if that's what you want, kindly keep moving down the line.

    If it isn't what you what, you need to stop acting so defensive and listen. You didn't get this response because I am a banshee or Tom is a supercilious, know-it all prick ( ) or because Zuul is a transnazi. You're getting it because you said some stupid shit. Now, your choices are either to listen and to try and make an effort to understand what people are saying to you, and to try and participate a little bit in a good faith exchange with the very awesome posters here. Or, you can keep shouting jibberish while we all give each other that "someone farted" look until Zuul bans you. It's on you, man.

    Personally, I don't give a fuck what happens either way. But maybe you do.
    Who the fuck do you think you are?
    To sleep, perchance to experience amygdalocortical activation and prefrontal deactivation.

  31. #31
    MOON GIRL FIGHTS CRIME Myrnalene's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by ivan astikov View post
    It might make you feel better to try and paint me as some kind of gibbering moron, but I'll match your wit and wisdom any day of the week.
    You are a gibbering moron, and no you can't.

    This is a troll. If you post here, you are a retard.
    everything in nature is sort of gross when you look at it too closely. what is an apple? basically the uterus of a tree - terrifel

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    aka ivan the not-quite-as-terrible ivan astikov's avatar
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    Welcome to the club, retard.




    ( If you can't win with banter, call them a troll. The last recourse of the shitbag poster who can't stand differing opinions and modes of expression.)
    Last edited by ivan astikov; 10 Aug 2010 at 12:11 PM.
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    Padding Enabler Panther Squad's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by ivan astikov View post
    See this? It might make you feel better to try and paint me as some kind of gibbering moron, but I'll match your wit and wisdom any day of the week.



    Who the fuck do you think you are?
    i don't know how myrna feels, but this is definitely making me feel better!
    comcast guy - m4m - 18 (nb)
    seem like we had that connection when we looked at each other
    you had a blue shirt on nice asss,dought you will see this but dosnt hurt to try, but id love to play with you. tell me what you where fixing, or the street name,or describe me.

  34. #34
    aka ivan the not-quite-as-terrible ivan astikov's avatar
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    Yayyyy! It's "The ivan and Panther" show...

    So, how do you wanna go about this? I can't really do much with the above post. I was kinda expecting something more meaty to get my teeth into.


    ps. How's it feel to be in Myrn's new Retard Club right at the beginning? Don't you think this could be the start of something big?
    Last edited by ivan astikov; 10 Aug 2010 at 12:22 PM.
    To sleep, perchance to experience amygdalocortical activation and prefrontal deactivation.

  35. #35
    MOON GIRL FIGHTS CRIME Myrnalene's avatar
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    damnit I meant to poast this is a troll THREAD and reference that one time when we had that funny thread and i made a movie about it
    everything in nature is sort of gross when you look at it too closely. what is an apple? basically the uterus of a tree - terrifel

  36. #36
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    Unbunch your knickers, Ms. It's affecting your poasting.

    ps. Ner ner, u r a retard.
    Last edited by ivan astikov; 10 Aug 2010 at 12:26 PM.
    To sleep, perchance to experience amygdalocortical activation and prefrontal deactivation.

  37. #37
    Padding Enabler Panther Squad's avatar
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    Oh, Ivan!

    I'm mostly here to observe. Did you not get that I was baiting you to get you removed to the thunderdome to remove you from a conversation I actually cared about? I'll leave you to it.

    kisses!
    comcast guy - m4m - 18 (nb)
    seem like we had that connection when we looked at each other
    you had a blue shirt on nice asss,dought you will see this but dosnt hurt to try, but id love to play with you. tell me what you where fixing, or the street name,or describe me.

  38. #38
    aka ivan the not-quite-as-terrible ivan astikov's avatar
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    Well, there are lots of other subjects I'm interested in, so we may cross paths again. I'll stay out of the threads you start tho', just for the sake of peace on the board.
    To sleep, perchance to experience amygdalocortical activation and prefrontal deactivation.

  39. #39
    Wanna cuddle? RabbitMage's avatar
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    Good. Because despite what you may have been told in grammar school, no one wants to hear your bullshit opinion about something you have proven you don't understand and have no desire to understand.

  40. #40
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    Fair enough. I'll be looking out for your bullshit opinions in future and you can expect no mercy.
    To sleep, perchance to experience amygdalocortical activation and prefrontal deactivation.

  41. #41
    Wanna cuddle? RabbitMage's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by ivan astikov View post
    Fair enough. I'll be looking out for your bullshit opinions in future and you can expect no mercy.
    Generally if I enter a serious discussion thread and present a position, I try and have sound reasoning behind it. Things I can back up with actual experience and facts and so forth.

    Did they not teach you how to do research and critical thinking in school, Ivan? That's so sad. It puts you at such a disadvantage.

  42. #42
    aka ivan the not-quite-as-terrible ivan astikov's avatar
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    Critical thinking, I learned myself. Research wasn't high on the school curriculum back in the days before computers tho'.


    Yep, thinking about it, I don't recall being asked to research anything beyond the contents of the work we were given in a particular class. Why would we need to? The teachers knew everything.
    Last edited by ivan astikov; 10 Aug 2010 at 01:38 PM.
    To sleep, perchance to experience amygdalocortical activation and prefrontal deactivation.

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    aka ivan the not-quite-as-terrible ivan astikov's avatar
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    My thread is losing impetus and has been overtaken in popularity by a mere wannabe. I and my legions of fans will not allow this to go unpunished when my plans for world domination are fulfilled.

    Be warned, you worthless scum and detritus of a thousand whore's shared bath.
    To sleep, perchance to experience amygdalocortical activation and prefrontal deactivation.

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    Myrna, you go your way, I'll go mine. I'm no more interested in your opinions than you are mine. And I certainly don't need your tips on reflection, you arrogant cow.
    To sleep, perchance to experience amygdalocortical activation and prefrontal deactivation.

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    Okay, Peace Lemur. I'll ease off the vitriol.
    To sleep, perchance to experience amygdalocortical activation and prefrontal deactivation.

  46. #46
    Yes, I'm a cat. What's it to you? Muffin's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Myrnalene View post
    ivan, do you want to have a meaningful exchange of ideas with the other posters on this board, or not?
    Asked and answered to the negative.

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    Yes, I'm a cat. What's it to you? Muffin's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by ivan astikov View post
    Critical thinking, I learned myself.
    It shows.

    You know (well, you don't know), Ivan, critical thinking refers to analysis, not bitching. Try it some day.

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    No. If you was paying attention and not wandering off on your little mental tangents, you'd have noticed that I said there were some posters on this board who I don't care less if I never see on here again, hint, hint, they are in this thread right now. Kinda like the way you probably feel about me.
    To sleep, perchance to experience amygdalocortical activation and prefrontal deactivation.

  49. #49
    Yes, I'm a cat. What's it to you? Muffin's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by ivan astikov View post
    If you was . . .
    That self-taught business again?

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    aka ivan the not-quite-as-terrible ivan astikov's avatar
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    Muffin, would you mind not prevaricating and just say what you have to say?

    Go on, get it all off your chest and let the world know how much I bug you. It'll do you good, I swear.
    To sleep, perchance to experience amygdalocortical activation and prefrontal deactivation.

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