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Thread: Parents Taking Advantage of Their Children`

  1. #1
    Curmudgeon OtakuLoki's avatar
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    Default Parents Taking Advantage of Their Children`

    This thread is a bit of a continuation of a topic I'd discussed in chat a couple of days ago, when it first appeared that Abby Sunderland's Wild Eyes had gone down in heavy seas east of Madagascar. While I don't feel that it's quite proper to expect the government to step in to prevent a minor from attempting such a feat, I also understand why the Dutch courts stepped in to prevent a 14 yo girl from attempting the same feat.

    Now, while the youngest solo sailing circumnavigation is the event that sparked my intent to write this thread, it's not the only time that I have seen children or teens getting into plans or programs for reasons that sometimes seem hard to separate from the ambitions of their parents. With Abby Sunderland, it's worrisome to me that her father is both in the industry of yacht building, and that her older brother had at one point held the record for being the youngest to solo circumnavigate. On the other hand, both of them are teens old enough, in my eyes to speak their minds. If there were parental programming, it's a natural interest.

    A couple of weeks ago Sarah was bringing up one of the reality TV shows following pageant kids, which seemed to be focusing, based on the clips she linked in chat, on girls (and a pair of boys) ranging in age up to about 7 or 8, who were being groomed and entered into the pageants willinilli.

    Similar stories can be seen if you look at the backgrounds that Olympic class athletes often have - parents who pushed them to the peak of their ability from a very early age to focus on that one accomplishment. Often with a very skewed outlook on life. Olympic calibre gymnasts are often over-the-hill by the time they're 21. I've been talking a bit off and on with a Nationals level gymnast online, when I struck up a friendship with her - and she's going through a major cycle of depression and self-aggression, now that she's 19, in college, and too injured to continue in the sport that had been her sole passion, comfort and friend for the past ten years. She admits that while she loved gymnastics, she also wouldn't have pushed near as hard if her parents hadn't supported her. And that she's having problems with them, now that she's "failed."

    Then there's the record of the scandal within the figure skating community from a few years ago, where it was revealed that judges were routinely demanding sexual favors from the contestants. ISTM that any event where subjective judging of the merits of a performance are going to be a factor is going to be at risk of this sort of shit. Pageantry, figure skating, gymnastics, and many other events that people must be passionate and sacrificing part of their lives to excell in are all being judged in a way to make them susceptible to sexual abuse, while still very young minors.

    The rumors, allegations and confessions within even the highest level of the pageantry are always there in the background. And often enough with some fire to go with all the smoke. Similarly, I don't believe that for all the reforms in figure skating it's likely to be removed there. And that friend I mentioned confirms it's a factor in the regional gymnastics events, as well.

    In most of the cases that I've encountered, the trades were often acquiesced to by the parents involved, and sometimes set up by them. That's a pretty clear-cut case to my mind of someone putting their aspirations for their children above the well-being of their children. But when I hear, today, that Abby Sunderland's father had signed for a reality TV show for his family, based on the publicity that Abby's attempt was generating I start to wonder how concerns for his daughter compared to concerns for his bank balance.

    The Balloon Boy family, at least, didn't actually put their son in danger - for all they allowed people to believe he was in peril.

    I don't know any way to stop this sort of shit. I do know that for all I admire Abby Sunderland's skills and determination, there's no way in Hell I'm going to do anything to support her father's cashing in on her attempt.

    I would love to hear other viewpoints on this.

  2. #2
    Elen síla lumenn' omentielvo What Exit?'s avatar
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    Well as I mentioned in Chat if Abby Sunderland wanted to try this and her parents supported it and as she was well trained I had no real problem with it. As to the cashing in part, well that is low and I will not watch such a crappy stunt but then my idea of reality TV is sports anyway. I don't really think the government needs to concern itself with this.

    As to parents pimping ice-skating and gymnastic kids out to judges, well that is so criminal that the parents and judges should be put away for a very long time and be in the predator lists of course if they ever get out. It is horrible and nasty and I hope those that were doing it have been arrested. Seriously what you described is seriously demented and criminal.

    The pageant parents and Olympic parents tend to scare me. I do not like their choices but it is not criminal and just not my choice. Also I suspect in the case of Olympics the kids often really want to go for medal or hope for the big success in tennis or baseball or etc. So I would not want to push my kids, but I cannot condemn those that do.

  3. #3
    Sophmoric Existentialist
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    Athletics are one thing. But those vile "pageants"? What the HELL is the point? Tarting up a five year old in a strapless dress and having her squall some show tune and "dance" to win . . . . what? Jesus H. Christ. They are sickening, disgusting, and probably attract every pedophile within 1,000 miles.

    Not only that, but the children are NEVER talented. Watch an old Shirley Temple movie to see a charming and beautiful little girl who could actually sing and dance! Not that I'm advocating child performers, most of whom make me want to toss my cookies. Like a wee Michael Jackson squealing "Baby, baby, I want you". His father should be taken out and shot and cut up and fed to some dogs.

    There is an oldish documentary about, called "Pretty Babies", made by some Australians who followed a couple of pageant-going families for awhile. Watching those wretched children made you want to puke, but only after you nuked their parents.

    As far as I know, these events occur only in the USA. What that means, I leave up to you.
    Last edited by vison; 14 Jun 2010 at 04:16 PM. Reason: To enlarge upon my rant.
    Sophmoric Existentialist

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    Curmudgeon OtakuLoki's avatar
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    Just for some added infuriation - the mother of the so-called Barefoot Bandit is enjoying her time in the limelight, it seems.

    She's hired a Seattle entertainment lawyer to handle the requests for story rights. Which might even be logical if she's worried about having to pay for criminal defense lawyers after her son's two-year spree. But right now, it feels like another parent getting onto the fame and fortune gravy train.

  5. #5
    Elen síla lumenn' omentielvo What Exit?'s avatar
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    Did she groom her son for this stupidity? If not I can't condemn her for raising money somehow to help her son out of the very deep hole he built for himself. It seems to be a minor news story, she might as well cash in and higher this lawyer to help pay for the criminal lawyers they will need.

  6. #6
    Porosity Caster parzival's avatar
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    I do have to wonder how long it really takes before someone who's been pressured so much begins to realize that they actually have a choice in the matter. I expect that as teenagers they might just start to feel frustrated but don't quite understand it until they are a bit older than other, more socially balanced children. But perhaps it does help if they have someone they know who went through a similar experience. Maybe Abby Sunderland's brother can actually provide some help to her. Although that doesn't mean I think it should be allowed to perpetuate (abusive hazing and pederasty may have had a long tradition in some schools, but no one should want such things to remain in place).

    I once met a man climbing Mt. Shasta who was trying to get a record for his son (not there, but I think he was training for something like McKinley or Kilimanjaro). I'm not even sure what the age of the child was - maybe 7 or 8. What was fascinating was that he never once told the child's name, and constantly referred to him as "THE BOY". He also seemed quite pleased with all the top quality gear he had thanks to sponsorships. The father's motivation seemed somewhere between living through his child and enjoying the perks of limited notoriety. (Sad to say THE BOY did not finish the climb; we saw him struggling with the altitude well below the summit and too late in the day to complete it).

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