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Thread: Bros before Hos

  1. #1
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    Default Bros before Hos

    This debate topic came up after a collective four hurricanes and drunkenly wandering the Internet. Do bros always come before hos? Does this ever change? If it does change, at what point does your ho come before your bro?

    More seriously, what kind of hierarchy is there to relationships? In an ideal world, whose emotional needs should come first in your life?

    For example, how would you arrange the following people from order of greatest emotional importance to least:

    Bartender
    Best Friend
    Casual Dating Partner
    Casual Friend
    The Clerk at Your Favorite Store
    Committed Boyfriend/Girlfriend
    Coworker
    Drunken Hookup
    Neighbor
    Parents
    Second Grade Teacher
    Siblings
    Spouse
    Bruce Willis
    Your Dog/Cat/Goldfish

    (I'm leaving kids out of it, because that's a trump card for parents.)
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  2. #2
    Elen síla lumenn' omentielvo What Exit?'s avatar
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    Spouse & Committed Boyfriend/Girlfriend
    Best Friend
    Bartender
    Siblings
    Parents
    Your Dog/Cat/Goldfish
    Bruce Willis
    Casual Dating Partner
    Casual Friend
    The Clerk at Your Favorite Store
    Coworker
    Drunken Hookup
    Neighbor
    Second Grade Teacher


    Spoiler (mouseover to read):
    OK, Bartender was a joke to see if you were really reading. I don't remember the name of my second grade teacher and she was kind of a grumpy old lady anyway.

  3. #3
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    Oh, I think you put bartender in just the right spot.

    My hierarchy:

    Spouse & Committed Boyfriend/Girlfriend
    Best Friend
    Parents
    Bruce Willis
    Siblings
    Your Dog/Cat/Goldfish
    Casual Friend
    Casual Dating Partner
    The Clerk at Your Favorite Store
    Bartender
    Coworker
    Neighbor
    Second Grade Teacher
    Drunken Hookup
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  4. #4
    Wanna cuddle? RabbitMage's avatar
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    Default

    Hos before all else. Okay, really...

    Spouse/Committed Boyfriend/Girlfriend/Best Friend
    Parents
    Siblings
    Your Dog/Cat/Goldfish
    Casual Friend
    Casual Dating Partner
    Coworker
    Bartender
    Neighbor
    Second Grade Teacher
    The Clerk at Your Favorite Store
    Drunken Hookup
    Bruce Willis


    I don't find Bruce Willis very awesome, but my S/O and best friends are the top of cool.

  5. #5
    Oliphaunt Taumpy's avatar
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    Default

    I don't really give this thing too much thought, but I guess for me it would be:

    Spouse/Committed Boyfriend/Girlfriend
    Best Friend/Parents/Other Family
    Your Dog/Cat/Goldfish
    Casual Dating Partner/Casual Friend
    Neighbor if I like them
    Coworker/other Neighbor


    And then far off in the distance:
    everyone else.
    Taumpy: Oh noes, you aren't a super powerful wave of destruction.
    Panther Squad: It's true! My scythe does not shorn the biomonsters in great swaths like it ought!

  6. #6
    Oliphaunt Taumpy's avatar
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    double post
    Last edited by Taumpy; 12 Jun 2010 at 03:52 PM.
    Taumpy: Oh noes, you aren't a super powerful wave of destruction.
    Panther Squad: It's true! My scythe does not shorn the biomonsters in great swaths like it ought!

  7. #7
    Oliphaunt
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    For me it's:

    Spouse/Committed Boyfriend/Girlfriend (hypothetically)
    Siblings/Best Friends
    Parents
    Casual Dating Partner
    Pets (hypothetically)
    Coworker/Casual Friend
    Drunken Hookup
    The Clerk at Your Favorite Store
    Bartender
    Second Grade Teacher
    Bruce Willis

    Neighbor (Just the current ones, who should be set on fire and buried in 6 feet of concrete.)

  8. #8
    Banned
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    Default

    Chicks before dicks, ladies.

  9. #9
    A Groupie Marsilia's avatar
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    Where I couldn't really figure out an "order of importance," I stuck with "Who will be in my life the longest?" That would be why a neighbor is more important than a casual dating partner. The neighbor is likely to have the greatest long term effect on my life.

    Siblings
    Parents
    Spouse
    Best Friend
    Committed Boyfriend/Girlfriend
    Your Dog/Cat/Goldfish
    Casual Friend
    Coworker
    Bruce Willis
    Neighbor
    Casual Dating Partner
    The Clerk at Your Favorite Store
    Bartender
    Second Grade Teacher
    Drunken Hookup

    As for "bros before hos," or "chicks before dicks," or whatever bisexuals with close friends of multiple genders are supposed to say, I'd like to believe that was a rule. However, I know from experience that people are often more invested in the ones they want to fuck than anyone else.

    According to Zuul, "bisexuals with close friends of multiple genders" are supposed to say "friends before fucks."

  10. #10
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Marsilia View post
    Where I couldn't really figure out an "order of importance," I stuck with "Who will be in my life the longest?" That would be why a neighbor is more important than a casual dating partner. The neighbor is likely to have the greatest long term effect on my life.
    Oh come on. That's a cop-out. Of course your siblings are going to be in your life longer than your spouse--you knew them when you were a kid! Would you actually rank the emotional needs of family members you don't live with ahead of those of the person you chose to join in matrimony?

    As for "bros before hos," or "chicks before dicks," or whatever bisexuals with close friends of multiple genders are supposed to say, I'd like to believe that was a rule. However, I know from experience that people are often more invested in the ones they want to fuck than anyone else.

    According to Zuul, "bisexuals with close friends of multiple genders" are supposed to say "friends before fucks."
    Ah, but doesn't a true friend want their buddies to be happy and getting laid? There's the rub.

  11. #11
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Zuul View post
    Ah, but doesn't a true friend want their buddies to be happy and getting laid? There's the rub.
    To clarify further: while "bros before hos" is a code I personally endorse, we must also remember the other code: "don't cockblock your friends."

  12. #12
    A Groupie Marsilia's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Zuul View post
    Oh come on. That's a cop-out. Of course your siblings are going to be in your life longer than your spouse--you knew them when you were a kid! Would you actually rank the emotional needs of family members you don't live with ahead of those of the person you chose to join in matrimony?
    Depends on what sort of emotional needs we were talking about, really. Besides, as you're well aware, I'm very close to my sisters and the spouse in my mind is currently hypothetical. Maybe, this person that I might meet someday will whisk me off to the coast of Spain and make me forget why I ever thought my blood relatives were important in the least. Then again, I'd really hope that the people I care about on that level would care enough about me to not make it a contest.
    Quote Originally posted by Zuul View post
    Ah, but doesn't a true friend want their buddies to be happy and getting laid? There's the rub.
    I'm not actually saying I don't want my friends to be happy and get laid. I'm trying hard not to quote the freaking Spice Girls.

  13. #13
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Marsilia View post
    Depends on what sort of emotional needs we were talking about, really. Besides, as you're well aware, I'm very close to my sisters and the spouse in my mind is currently hypothetical. Maybe, this person that I might meet someday will whisk me off to the coast of Spain and make me forget why I ever thought my blood relatives were important in the least. Then again, I'd really hope that the people I care about on that level would care enough about me to not make it a contest.
    It's not meant to be a contest, just a measure of where you'd put your priorities. If my spouse tried to make me choose him over my brother, he wouldn't remain my spouse, but in the day to day "who am I most emotionally concerned with" grind my spouse would at the top of the list. If I wasn't willing to give that level of commitment, that person wouldn't be worth marrying.
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  14. #14
    Administrator CatInASuit's avatar
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    Hmm, some osrt of order of priority, I guess.

    Spouse or Committed Boyfriend/Girlfriend
    Your Dog/Cat/Goldfish/Best Friend
    Coworker
    Neighbor
    Casual Dating Partner/Casual Friend/Bartender
    Parents/Siblings
    The Clerk at Your Favorite Store
    Drunken Hookup/Second Grade Teacher/Bruce Willis
    In the land of the blind, the one-arm man is king.

  15. #15
    Oliphaunt jali's avatar
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    Children (my kids are adults and they're my friends)
    Committed Boyfriend/Girlfriend
    Best Friend (Lee, my ex boyfriend from 25 years ago)
    Bartender (One of my best friends - we met at her workplace)
    Coworker (Our intern and I are pretty good friends)
    Neighbor (I'm very close with the family on my left)
    Casual Dating Partner (I'm still friends with most of the exes)
    The Clerk at Your Favorite Store (She's coming to my BBQ)
    Casual Friend
    Siblings (My sister is too mature for me - I love her, but she irks me)
    Bruce Willis (cool dude - why not?)
    Parents (no longer alive)
    Spouse (no longer married)
    Drunken Hookup (hasn't happened in 20 years)
    Second Grade Teacher - (Sr. Loyola Marguerite was a BITCH)
    They weren't singing....they were just honking.
    Glee 2009

  16. #16
    my god, he's full of stars... OneCentStamp's avatar
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    To me, these seemed to sort themselves into several tiers. Within each tier there's some fluidity, but between tiers there's a serious gap.

    -------------------------------------


    Two Minds, One Heart, One Flesh:
    Spouse

    <GAP>

    High Priority Relationships:
    Best Friend
    Committed Boyfriend/Girlfriend
    Parents
    Siblings

    <GAP>

    Intentional Relationships:
    Casual Friend
    Casual Dating Partner

    <GAP>

    Circumstantial Relationships:
    Bartender
    The Clerk at Your Favorite Store
    Coworker
    Drunken Hookup
    Neighbor
    Second Grade Teacher

    <GAP>

    Complete Strangers:
    Bruce Willis

    <GAP>

    Non-Humans:
    Your Dog/Cat/Goldfish
    "You laugh at me because I'm different; I laugh at you because I'm on nitrous."

    find me at Goodreads

  17. #17
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    Oh, I like how you set that up, OCS. Quite orderly!

  18. #18
    my god, he's full of stars... OneCentStamp's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Zuul View post
    Oh, I like how you set that up, OCS. Quite orderly!
    I didn't intend it that way! I just realized, in writing it out, that there were some huge gulfs between groups, and to just write one undifferentiated list didn't do that justice.

    - I mean, technically a casual dating partner might have come right behind my mom in the order, but there's a HUGE difference between the two. My mom can have bone marrow or a lobe of my liver without a second thought; a casual dating partner may not even automatically get to borrow my car.

    - Likewise, I would do more for Bruce Willis, or any perfect stranger, than for even my favorite animal. If Bruce Willis and I were stuck on a life raft with my favorite dog of all time, we would kill Rover on day three and Bruce and I would chow down.
    Last edited by OneCentStamp; 14 Jun 2010 at 12:38 PM.
    "You laugh at me because I'm different; I laugh at you because I'm on nitrous."

    find me at Goodreads

  19. #19
    Oliphaunt Taumpy's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by OneCentStamp View post
    - Likewise, I would do more for Bruce Willis, or any perfect stranger, than for even my favorite animal. If Bruce Willis and I were stuck on a life raft with my favorite dog of all time, we would kill Rover on day three and Bruce and I would chow down.

    Yours is probably the more rational way but this is so completely against how I feel about it. If I picture myself doing that I actually feel a little queasy.

    I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those crazy pet people that calls them their baby and spends an inordinate amount of time and attention on them. But I love my little furball. How could I intentionally hurt something I love for some jerk I don't even know?
    Taumpy: Oh noes, you aren't a super powerful wave of destruction.
    Panther Squad: It's true! My scythe does not shorn the biomonsters in great swaths like it ought!

  20. #20
    Clueless but well-meaning Hatshepsut's avatar
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    Jali's list is close enough to what my own would be that I'm not going to reformulate it. Some comments:

    I don't have any siblings, so their role in people's lives is a continual puzzle to me. My husband is not close at all to his siblings, but he's well-disposed toward them.

    I might add a category of "outcast relatives" that would go fairly high on the list. In particular, I am thinking of one of my nieces/nephews who is still young enough to be figuring out his/her sexuality (sorry for the vagueness, but I don't want a specific internet record of our thoughts). This person is in a family that is pretty socially conservative. My husband and I think this person may be gay, and will feel completely unable to come out because of family pressure. Should that person ever do so, we would welcome him/her with open arms and try to provide long-lasting moral, financial, and any other kind of support s/he needed. If this meant ruining relationships with other family members, we'd do it in a heartbeat. Right is right.

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