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Thread: What a load of BS this Driving Test cash cow is!!!11"!

  1. #51
    Stegodon Jaglavak's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by vison View post
    But the tester just said, "You might as well go back to the station, kid, you failed when you argued with me."
    Heh. If it was up to me, that would be the wildest ride back to the station that asshole ever had.

  2. #52
    aka ivan the not-quite-as-terrible ivan astikov's avatar
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    I've been consoling myself reading The Ultimate "I Failed My Test" Thread. It's heartwarming to see that a lot of the UK's brightest and best hopes are equally - and in some cases, considerably more - as crap as I am.
    To sleep, perchance to experience amygdalocortical activation and prefrontal deactivation.

  3. #53
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    One thing I've learned is to make sure your instructor is in the car with you, then at least if you want to contest the decision --- not that I'm sure there is any recourse; the DSA seems to be seriously lacking regarding an appeals process* --- it's not just your word against the examiner's.

    At £61 a time, I at least hope the examiners are on a fixed wage, and are not getting a commission on the amount of tests they do!

    * This was about the best information I got in my googling.
    It is difficult to appeal against the decision to fail you on the driving test, I think you can only appeal against the manner or conduct of the examiner.
    Really?
    Last edited by ivan astikov; 31 May 2010 at 03:49 AM.
    To sleep, perchance to experience amygdalocortical activation and prefrontal deactivation.

  4. #54
    Yes, I'm a cat. What's it to you? Muffin's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by ivan astikov View post
    Which idea is crazy?
    Doubling the number of examiners in each car because you failed to perform a shoulder check.

  5. #55
    aka ivan the not-quite-as-terrible ivan astikov's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Muffin View post
    Doubling the number of examiners in each car because you failed to perform a shoulder check.
    No, the idea of doubling the examiners was so that the final decision wasn't dependent on one fallible, emotion-prone human. And ideally, you'd have your instructor in there as well, in case your word needed back up.
    To sleep, perchance to experience amygdalocortical activation and prefrontal deactivation.

  6. #56
    Oliphaunt Taumpy's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by ivan astikov View post
    No, the idea of doubling the examiners was so that the final decision wasn't dependent on one fallible, emotion-prone human. And ideally, you'd have your instructor in there as well, in case your word needed back up.

    Dude, the "final decision" is not that important that it can't be left to one fallible human. People fail all the time, but it's not that hard to get the license. You are kind of coming off as whiny. Just retake the test, and do better next time. Christ.

  7. #57
    aka ivan the not-quite-as-terrible ivan astikov's avatar
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    It's not whiny in the slightest to demand that an organisation entrusted to providing safe drivers for our already highly congested roads, is kept honest, consistent and as free from individual subjectivity as possible.
    To sleep, perchance to experience amygdalocortical activation and prefrontal deactivation.

  8. #58
    Yes, I'm a cat. What's it to you? Muffin's avatar
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    The organization succeeded -- it properly failed you. Q.E.D.

  9. #59
    aka ivan the not-quite-as-terrible ivan astikov's avatar
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    Ah, yes, but I only have to remember to carry out an All-round Observation Manouevre if I am required to do another Emergency Stop, and I'll no longer be a failure.

    Whereas you, dear sir, will always be a failure while trying to have a dig at me, because you are a several levels of wit short of a fuckwit.
    Last edited by ivan astikov; 03 Jun 2010 at 03:12 AM.
    To sleep, perchance to experience amygdalocortical activation and prefrontal deactivation.

  10. #60
    Elen síla lumenn' omentielvo What Exit?'s avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by ivan astikov View post
    ...
    At £61 a time, I at least hope the examiners are on a fixed wage, and are not getting a commission on the amount of tests they do!
    ...
    Ouch! I can see why you're upset. Our tests were and I believe are free. If they charge you £61/$89.57 per test and not just a one time fee, they are seriously overvaluing their time. How long does a drivers test take over there? Do they supply the vehicle or do you use your own. In New Jersey we supply our own vehicle. The testing is done on a closed course and takes I believe no more than 20 minutes.

    The road test allows the driver to demonstrate an understanding of safe driving by adhering to the rules of the road.
    You may schedule your initial road test online
    A safety specialist will accompany you while driving in an off-road testing area or on a public road course
    The test will take approximately 10 to 15 minutes
    Last edited by What Exit?; 03 Jun 2010 at 08:31 AM.

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    Quote Originally posted by What Exit? View post
    Our tests were and I believe are free. . . . The testing is done on a closed course and takes I believe no more than 20 minutes.
    Wait, really? I would say mine took half an hour and it certainly wasn't on a closed course. We had to drive on city streets and on the highway, and then demonstrate the ability to parallel park (that part was on a "closed course" -- a church parking lot with some cones set up.) And it wasn't the state that did it -- they certified private testing agencies, so I had to pay something for it. Not all that much, but probably $25 or $30.

    The weirdest part is that we were dinged a point for every maneuver in the parallel parking part of it -- anything beyond "pull in and pull forward" was points off, and not being entirely in the spot was just another point off. So, back then when I wasn't good at parallel parking, I lost a couple points for excess maneuvering, was not entirely in the spot, and just got out and called it good. It seems like, really, you ought to fail the parallel parking part if you're not, you know, properly parked by the time you're done.

    Anyway, I'm kind of amazed hearing how lax the testing procedure is in some places (or for that matter, how lax it used to be here in Michigan, per Queen Tonya.)

  12. #62
    Elen síla lumenn' omentielvo What Exit?'s avatar
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    Well the link to the actual NJ sites claims "The test will take approximately 10 to 15 minutes". I recall it being a bit longer in practice but then I took it in 1983. The closed course is pretty large at the local DMV but I believe it is inconsistent throughout the state. I think the local course handled 3 cars at a time. I have no clue how much things have changed but the my nephew took the test in the same place I did only about 6 years ago.

    The £61/$89.57 still seems steep to me that Ivan mentioned. But "driving is a privledge and not a right" as they loved to tell us as teens.

  13. #63
    Oliphaunt Baldwin's avatar
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    So, Ivan, nothing here is your fault. What a fucking surprise. And, once again, you peg my irony meter by self-righteously whining about something you see as unfair or a scam. I haven't checked Mellophant in weeks or months, but immediately it's like old times.

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    Quote Originally posted by Baldwin View post
    So, Ivan, nothing here is your fault. What a fucking surprise. And, once again, you peg my irony meter by self-righteously whining about something you see as unfair or a scam. I haven't checked Mellophant in weeks or months, but immediately it's like old times.
    Why the fuck are you back? The tard forum's thataway.

  15. #65
    Oliphaunt jali's avatar
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    ivan, would you like me to bring you some tea?
    Last edited by jali; 15 Jun 2010 at 01:16 PM.
    They weren't singing....they were just honking.
    Glee 2009

  16. #66
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    That would be much appreciated, Jali. And when you've finished with the teapot, could you kindly shove it up Baldwin's ass. I promise I'll buy you a new one.
    To sleep, perchance to experience amygdalocortical activation and prefrontal deactivation.

  17. #67
    MOON GIRL FIGHTS CRIME Myrnalene's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Baldwin View post
    So, Ivan, nothing here is your fault. What a fucking surprise. And, once again, you peg my irony meter by self-righteously whining about something you see as unfair or a scam. I haven't checked Mellophant in weeks or months, but immediately it's like old times.
    Weren't you specifically warned against starting shit with ivan?
    everything in nature is sort of gross when you look at it too closely. what is an apple? basically the uterus of a tree - terrifel

  18. #68
    Oliphaunt Baldwin's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Myrnalene View post
    Weren't you specifically warned against starting shit with ivan?
    Didn't I specifically warn Ivan about starting his shitty hypocritical threads?

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    Quote Originally posted by Baldwin View post
    Didn't I specifically warn Ivan about starting his shitty hypocritical threads?
    You are coming back here, over and over, just to fucking pick fights with Ivan.

    Look, everyone knows you're a fuckup and a loser. I mean, let's face it, it's pretty obvious. What's amazing is that you don't have enough dignity to even try to hide it. Jesus fuck, Baldwin. Just go back to the fucking Straight Dope. This place is not "The Straight Dope for people who are too big of fuckups to handle The Straight Dope". Since you're only here to start shit with an active member -- one who you've already been warned to stop stalking -- why the fuck don't you just go away?

    No one is shocked that you have nothing better to do in your life than monitor a message board you don't even participate in to watch the activities of the guy you have decided is your arch-nemesis. Because, obviously, it's not like you have anything else at all going in your life. So it's not a surprise you're resorting to this. But for fuck's sake, don't you value your dignity enough not to resort to this shit, you fuckup?

  20. #70
    Oliphaunt Taumpy's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Exy View post
    Jesus fuck, Baldwin. Just go back to the fucking Straight Dope.
    Pretty sure he got banned.

  21. #71
    Elen síla lumenn' omentielvo What Exit?'s avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Exy View post
    You are coming back here, over and over, just to fucking pick fights with Ivan.

    Look, everyone knows you're a fuckup and a loser. I mean, let's face it, it's pretty obvious. What's amazing is that you don't have enough dignity to even try to hide it. Jesus fuck, Baldwin. Just go back to the fucking Straight Dope. This place is not "The Straight Dope for people who are too big of fuckups to handle The Straight Dope". Since you're only here to start shit with an active member -- one who you've already been warned to stop stalking -- why the fuck don't you just go away?

    No one is shocked that you have nothing better to do in your life than monitor a message board you don't even participate in to watch the activities of the guy you have decided is your arch-nemesis. Because, obviously, it's not like you have anything else at all going in your life. So it's not a surprise you're resorting to this. But for fuck's sake, don't you value your dignity enough not to resort to this shit, you fuckup?
    Not that I am saying I agree or disagree, but I had to salute a damn fine rant.

  22. #72
    Clueless but well-meaning Hatshepsut's avatar
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    When I took my first driver's test at age 16, I was a nervous wreck. However, I did okay ... except that when we got back to the DMV parking lot and I ostentatiously went to put on the emergency parking brake to show that I was remembering EVERYTHING -- I saw that I had never taken the emergency brake off when I started the test.(*) I involuntarily gasped in horror and exclaimed "Oh no! I forgot to release the brake!" and stared in shock at the test giver, sure he would fail me. He never cracked a smile, just maintained a totally neutral expression and then scribbled something on his sheet and solemnly handed it to me.

    It said, "Passed." I still remember how relieved I was. I'm sure he got a kick out of maintaining that neutral expression and letting me stew for a few seconds. (A little sadistic, I suppose, but I forgive him.)

    (*) It was an automatic transmission car. You can't even DO that with standard, if I'm not mistaken.

    --------

    Quote Originally posted by Baldwin
    I haven't checked Mellophant in weeks or months, but immediately it's like old times.
    Quote Originally posted by Baldwin
    Didn't I specifically warn Ivan about starting his shitty hypocritical threads?
    So, on your return after a long absence, you went looking for a poster you "warned" (ooh!) weeks or months ago?

    Mellophant is what you make of it, my friend.

  23. #73
    Oliphaunt jali's avatar
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    "...watch the activities of the guy you have decided is your arch-nemesis..."

    This cracked me up. Arch nemesis. Ha!
    They weren't singing....they were just honking.
    Glee 2009

  24. #74
    Prehistoric Bitchslapper Sarahfeena's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by jali View post
    "...watch the activities of the guy you have decided is your arch-nemesis..."

    This cracked me up. Arch nemesis. Ha!
    God knows, no one should find their arch nemesis on Mellophant!

  25. #75
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    Quote Originally posted by Sarahfeena View post
    God knows, no one should find their arch nemesis on Mellophant!
    No kidding. Couldn't you set your sights a little higher?

  26. #76
    Jesus F'ing Christ Glazer's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Sarahfeena View post
    God knows, no one should find their arch nemesis on Mellophant!
    Quote Originally posted by Zuul
    No kidding. Couldn't you set your sights a little higher?
    What are y'all talking about? I'd find either Skald or terrifel a worthy nemesis, if I happened to be in the market for one right now.
    Welcome to Mellophant.

    We started with nothing and we still have most of it left.

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    Quote Originally posted by Hatshepsut View post
    (*) It was an automatic transmission car. You can't even DO that with standard, if I'm not mistaken.
    Heh heh heh, oh yes you can. I drove my beloved old Corolla, a manual transmission car, for years and I was as good to her as she was to me with the exception of how, on several occasions, I drove it as much as a block or so without realizing I hadn't released the parking brake.

    I'm sorry about that, Úrsula. Also about the whole thing where I had you junked in favor of my new (used) Prius. You really were an awesome car. Even if by the end of your life I couldn't park you on hills anymore.

  28. #78
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    Quote Originally posted by Glazer View post
    What are y'all talking about? I'd find either Skald or terrifel a worthy nemesis, if I happened to be in the market for one right now.
    You know, I can't really picture terrifel as the nemesis type. He's his own being.

  29. #79
    Jesus F'ing Christ Glazer's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Zuul View post
    You know, I can't really picture terrifel as the nemesis type. He's his own being.
    But if he put his will into your downfall,epic.
    Last edited by Glazer; 21 Jun 2010 at 09:55 PM.
    Welcome to Mellophant.

    We started with nothing and we still have most of it left.

  30. #80
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    Quote Originally posted by Glazer View post
    But if he put his will into your downfall,epic.
    This is true. And frightening. I wouldn't be surprised if he can command armies of lab animals to take down his enemies.

  31. #81
    MOON GIRL FIGHTS CRIME Myrnalene's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Sarahfeena View post
    God knows, no one should find their arch nemesis on Mellophant!
    Then I have truly been going about this thing all wrong. I have dozens!
    Last edited by Myrnalene; 22 Jun 2010 at 02:11 PM.
    everything in nature is sort of gross when you look at it too closely. what is an apple? basically the uterus of a tree - terrifel

  32. #82
    Yes, I'm a cat. What's it to you? Muffin's avatar
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    What is an arch nemisis? Some sort of instep from the Marianis Trench?

  33. #83
    aka ivan the not-quite-as-terrible ivan astikov's avatar
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    Awwwwwwww. Muffin, I've gone and passed my driving test at the second attempt. I guess standards must be slipping.
    To sleep, perchance to experience amygdalocortical activation and prefrontal deactivation.

  34. #84
    Oliphaunt Taumpy's avatar
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    Congrats, ivan.
    Taumpy: Oh noes, you aren't a super powerful wave of destruction.
    Panther Squad: It's true! My scythe does not shorn the biomonsters in great swaths like it ought!

  35. #85
    aka ivan the not-quite-as-terrible ivan astikov's avatar
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    Thanks, fella. Better late than never, I say.
    To sleep, perchance to experience amygdalocortical activation and prefrontal deactivation.

  36. #86
    Elen síla lumenn' omentielvo What Exit?'s avatar
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    Congrats Ivan.

  37. #87
    aka ivan the not-quite-as-terrible ivan astikov's avatar
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    Yes gang, this time I did my "continuing after an emergency stop" section properly, and had a good look around before setting off again. Ya live and ya learn, eh?
    To sleep, perchance to experience amygdalocortical activation and prefrontal deactivation.

  38. #88
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    Awesome! Congratulations, ivan.

  39. #89
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    Hurray!

  40. #90
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    Cheers, u guise.

    See, you can teach an old-ish dog new tricks! Time and patience is all it takes.
    Last edited by ivan astikov; 16 Jul 2010 at 08:21 AM.
    To sleep, perchance to experience amygdalocortical activation and prefrontal deactivation.

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    Quote Originally posted by Hatshepsut View post
    When I took my first driver's test at age 16, I was a nervous wreck. However, I did okay ... except that when we got back to the DMV parking lot and I ostentatiously went to put on the emergency parking brake to show that I was remembering EVERYTHING -- I saw that I had never taken the emergency brake off when I started the test.(*)
    (*) It was an automatic transmission car. You can't even DO that with standard, if I'm not mistaken.
    You are mistaken - it's perfectly possible. There's nothing magical about a torque converter that will allow it to succeed where a manual clutch will fail; if your engine is grunty enough and your handbrake not too overwhelming, you can do it quite easily. Don't ask me how I know this.

    (Footnote: Would it be out of order to ask what that "Queen of the Vagina Borg" business is all about? I wouldn't say I was dying of curiosity, but consider mine piqued.)

    Quote Originally posted by ivan astikov View post
    Yes gang, this time I did my "continuing after an emergency stop" section properly, and had a good look around before setting off again. Ya live and ya learn, eh?
    Good for you and congratulations on joining the ranks of the legal motorists. Candle duly lit and darkness uncursed, hey?

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