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Thread: Sweet Holy Mutherfucking Jesus F-ing Christ! And that is a PRAYER.

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    Default Sweet Holy Mutherfucking Jesus F-ing Christ! And that is a PRAYER.

    Holy motherfucking SHIT!

    WHAT IS THIS POISON IVY BULLSHIT?

    Sweet motherfucking Christ! Why? WHY????
    I grew up in the woods like a fucking woodchuck and shit, I WAS GENETICALLY IMMUNE FOR YEARS!!!

    Boot Camp? I 've had harder vacations.
    Going cold turkey after a pack-a-day for 20+? Child's play.

    But this shit, dude, I got 6 tiny blisters in a 1/2" line by my ankle. Sox rubs against it, shoe rubs against it, hot water flows over it in the shower, AND THE SHIT GOES OFF LIKE I GOTTA SCRATCH OR DIE!.

    I stay away from scratching during the day, about 99% of the time, but I have been waking up in bed, digging at it like I was diggin' a hole and shit.

    Lord why?
    Last edited by Super Kapowzler; 10 May 2010 at 06:51 PM. Reason: The S-KZ shows up like a virus, and a very bad itch that cannot be scratched.

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    The problem is, by posting something pretty much everyone agrees with, you've denied the opportunity to make people amusingly outraged.

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    Elen síla lumenn' omentielvo What Exit?'s avatar
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    You can try soaking your foot in a bucket with oatmeal. It helps for some reason.
    I still like Calamine lotion for poison ivy. I think there is now a Caladryl Lotion that combines Calamine and a Benedryl-like anti-histamine.

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    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    But, if you used to be genetically immune, and you're now affected, you have to consider the possibility that you've been hit with some special genetically modified Al-Qaeda poison ivy.

    Man up, grab a sample, and send it to Homeland Security.

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    Prehistoric Bitchslapper Sarahfeena's avatar
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    Poison ivy.

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    Aged Turtle Wizard Clothahump's avatar
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    Political correctness will be the death of our country.

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    Oliphaunt Taumpy's avatar
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    Uh-uh. Poison Ivy:

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  9. #9
    For whom nothing is written. Oliveloaf's avatar
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    In 1973 when my family moved to the wilds of Cook County, some 20 miles from Chicago, my sister and I were ravaged by poison sumac.

    We lived on the edge of a fairly vast wooded area, and our daily explorations proved topically toxic. Fairly quickly, though, like the other kids in the area, we developed
    an immunity to the sumac...and seemingly poison ivy. By our second summer in the area we wandered around in shorts and short sleeves with no ill effect.

    I suspect that I've lost whatever protection I once had.
    "I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."

    -Jim Rockford

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    Porosity Caster parzival's avatar
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    I get Poison Oak bad. (I can partially blame this on an ex-girlfriend in high school, though I was the one who stormed off into the bushes without realizing what I was heading into). But I get it so bad that last time I had it, even though I knew I had it, went to the doctor right away, got a cortisone shot and two prescriptions (Prednisone is bad for me, but there's an older anti-anxiety drug that has "side effects: may reduce symptoms of urushiol exposure"). My legs still ballooned up and my insides leaked out for three days.

    The best treatment I've found when it gets like that: Run it under as hot a shower or faucet as you can stand. Keep turning up the heat (you'll get used to it). It will itch like you won't believe. Just keep going. It will feel worse. Don't scratch it, don't even look at it. Do a shot of whiskey if you have to.
    Eventually either all the histamine in your body or the hot water will give out, preferably the first. You will not itch at all for about 5 or 6 hours, maybe more if you're lucky. Repeat as needed.

  11. #11
    Stegodon
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    Speaking as someone who once shared poison ivy aux deaux (we... uh...spread a blanket on the ground over a patch of the stuff) over most of her body, I recommend oatmeal baths, hydrocortisone cream and, on areas prone to perspiration, spray anti-perspirant. Cortisone shots from the doc if it's bad enough.

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    Quote Originally posted by missred View post
    Speaking as someone who once shared poison ivy aux deaux (we... uh...spread a blanket on the ground over a patch of the stuff)
    Oh oh oh that's horrible!

  13. #13
    my god, he's full of stars... OneCentStamp's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by missred View post
    Speaking as someone who once shared poison ivy aux deaux (we... uh...spread a blanket on the ground over a patch of the stuff) over most of her body
    "You laugh at me because I'm different; I laugh at you because I'm on nitrous."

    find me at Goodreads

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    Prehistoric Bitchslapper Sarahfeena's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by parzival View post
    I get Poison Oak bad. (I can partially blame this on an ex-girlfriend in high school, though I was the one who stormed off into the bushes without realizing what I was heading into). But I get it so bad that last time I had it, even though I knew I had it, went to the doctor right away, got a cortisone shot and two prescriptions (Prednisone is bad for me, but there's an older anti-anxiety drug that has "side effects: may reduce symptoms of urushiol exposure"). My legs still ballooned up and my insides leaked out for three days.

    The best treatment I've found when it gets like that: Run it under as hot a shower or faucet as you can stand. Keep turning up the heat (you'll get used to it). It will itch like you won't believe. Just keep going. It will feel worse. Don't scratch it, don't even look at it. Do a shot of whiskey if you have to.
    Eventually either all the histamine in your body or the hot water will give out, preferably the first. You will not itch at all for about 5 or 6 hours, maybe more if you're lucky. Repeat as needed.
    The bolded part made me laugh. Like, if you look at it, it will only make it angrier.

  15. #15
    Prehistoric Bitchslapper Sarahfeena's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by missred View post
    Speaking as someone who once shared poison ivy aux deaux (we... uh...spread a blanket on the ground over a patch of the stuff) over most of her body, I recommend oatmeal baths, hydrocortisone cream and, on areas prone to perspiration, spray anti-perspirant. Cortisone shots from the doc if it's bad enough.
    Oh, you poor thing. Yikes.

    It reminds me of a time when my husband did not take the proper precautions when cutting up habanero peppers. It was bad enough on his face and hands, but when he took a shower to wash it off, there was really no good way to protect his...private areas.

  16. #16
    Stegodon
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    Quote Originally posted by OneCentStamp View post
    Needless to say, we looked at one another differently after that.

    (and we chose our spots more carefully when retreating to the woods. )

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