Kind of a rant about overpriced beverages

[Cluricaun]

I'm not talking about the cost of a Manhattan at the W hotel lobby bar($17! You bastards!), I'm talking about things that I buy at the store that are stupidly overpriced for what they are. Things like Red Bull. It's a tiny can and there really can't be much more in price inside that can than there is in the store brand sodas that cost $.25, but still I drink it at $3.50 a pop. Why isn't there someone whupping Red Bull ass with their same-but-different $.50 a can energy drink? Why do I pay so much for something that tastes like concentrated hobo urine?

Then in the iced tea thread I mentioned margaritas, which got me wanting one. Which got me to remembering that we're out of margarita mix. Which got me to remembering that it makes me insanely angry that it costs like $5 for enough mix to make maybe three decent sized margaritas, which is why we're out of it. Why the hell does it cost so much money, there's nothing of cost inside that stupid bottle, it's fucking citric acid, sugar, coloring and water. And why does it come in such tiny stupid bottles? I want enough to be able to make a bunch of margaritas without having to drop the price of the bottle of tequila on mixer. Sell me a damned barrel of margarita mix and make it cheap as it should be.

Finally I feel like yelling about Guinness. Let's drop the charade here lads. Shit is brewed in Canada by Labatts, which by name sells for at least $3 a sixer less than the Guinness does. It's barely imported. It's not Irish at all, it's not from Ireland and it's retarded that it costs $9 for a four banger of tall shitty cans or $9 of the Extra Stout in bottles when you can find it. Knock that off.

I am pointedly not mentioning Corona, which my dear love drinks, which is nothing more than Miller High Life in a fancy bottle and is tied with Red Stripe for being the most over priced beer on earth for what you're actually getting.

This didn't start out as a rant, but I'm ranting now. :Shake:

[What Exit?]

Well for margaritas mix, try ordering a large amount online. You will save a lot in the long run.

As to why these things are so expensive ...

People pay the high price.

[Cluricaun]

Well for margaritas mix, try ordering a large amount online. You will save a lot in the long run.

The cheapest I've found is something called Major Peters, which sells for $46 for a case of six 64 ounce bottles, but with shipping....

[Laughing Lagomorph]

You can get the bucket of margarita mix:

http://www.amazon.com/Master-Mixes-M.../dp/B00125RB6I

Good for parties, anyway. For cheaper beer homebrewing is the answer. Can't help you with the Red Bull, I had no idea it is so expensive and like you I'm surprised no one is eating their lunch with a cheaper knockoff.

[Cluricaun]

I'm going to be brutally honest here - I've never had a single sip of homebrewed beer that didn't taste horrible. I like the idea of making my own beer since I'm all cheftastic when it comes to cooking food, but for every Jim Koch out there who gets to make beer good enough to launch a brewery there's 10,000 dudes trying to pawn off empty Grolsch bottles full of Daves Awesome Raspberry Pumpkin Triple Chocolate Hop Mead. My experiance tells me that it is impossible to actually brew beer that is any better than "meh" in quality.

[What Exit?]

I agree on the Home Brew.

[OtakuLoki]

...and is tied with Red Stripe for being the most over priced beer on earth for what you're actually getting.

This is what I cannot understand. I was introduced to Red Stripe in the Caribbean. Where it was almost universally 2 for a buck. St. Thomas, St. Maartin's, Barbados, Aruba, Curacao, Jamaica, it was always two for a buck, and about half the price of carbonated beverages.

I still cannot fathom why anyone pays import prices for this now that it's being sold in mainland US stores.

Especially since, while I can't prove it, it tasted to me as though the rumors that the water was sterilized with formaldehyde were accurate.

[Laughing Lagomorph]

I'm going to be brutally honest here - I've never had a single sip of homebrewed beer that didn't taste horrible. I like the idea of making my own beer since I'm all cheftastic when it comes to cooking food, but for every Jim Koch out there who gets to make beer good enough to launch a brewery there's 10,000 dudes trying to pawn off empty Grolsch bottles full of Daves Awesome Raspberry Pumpkin Triple Chocolate Hop Mead. My experiance tells me that it is impossible to actually brew beer that is any better than "meh" in quality.

This is nonsense. These people are Doing It Wrong.

The key is use a tried-and-true recipe, quality ingredients and good technique (which means sanitation). If you do these things you WILL get good beer, and at a fraction of retail prices.

[Cluricaun]

I suppose it's true that not a single brewer I've ever met has even probably attempted to make anything approaching a standard light American lager, meaning something that wasn't beaten to death with an abundance of ingrediants that don't belong in beer (always with the pumpkin and spices these guys), but the day I drink a glass or a bottle of anything approaching even Busch I will run out and kill my credit cards on brewing supplies. That day has never come.

[redtail]

Really? You can't buy margarita mix in like quart bottles for a couple of bucks? It's usually in the soft-drinks aisle at the store. Weird.

Sweet and sour mix is really easy, make your own. You want to make some simple syrup (1 cup water, 1 cup sugar, mix in a pan, bring to a boil, boil & stir 5 minutes, cool). Then mix in 1 cup of lemon juice & 1 cup of lime juice. Voila! You can also add some eggwhite to make it foamy. Or Google for one of the 9jillion recipes out there.

Or make a real margarita, which is just tequila, liqueur of choice, lime juice. Even easier.

Also, you need to get to know some SCA people. Best damn beer you've ever had. I hated beer until I had some good homebrew and learned to like it.

On preview: OOOOHHHHHHH, you want something that tastes like Busch. I thought you said GOOD beer.

I've never had weird fruit/spice homebrew, just ales and stouts and lagers and such. And mead - yum.

[Cluricaun]

Haha, no I don't want Busch. I just don't want overly complicated beer. Were I to brew I'd want to brew in keg quantities for sharing purposes and I'd want to make something as close to an American Macro as possible due to the taste skewing amongst my friends and family. I'd be happy with being able to make PBR or Strohs or any of the heavier macros.

[Laughing Lagomorph]

I suppose it's true that not a single brewer I've ever met has even probably attempted to make anything approaching a standard light American lager, meaning something that wasn't beaten to death with an abundance of ingrediants that don't belong in beer (always with the pumpkin and spices these guys), but the day I drink a glass or a bottle of anything approaching even Busch I will run out and kill my credit cards on brewing supplies. That day has never come.

Standard light American Lager is actually hard to replicate at home. The easiest (and most forgiving) recipes are probably Pale Ales and Brown Ales. There is a whole sub-section of the hobby devoted to replicating (cloning) commercially available beers.

Also those guys that are making Raspberry Pumpkin Chocoloate mead are obviously not making beer to save money, they have a particular flavor profile in mind that they can't get commercially and are damming the expense to get it.

[redtail]

Nut Brown Ale - that's what got me started on beer. Mm-mm-good. I've never found any bottled anywhere near as good.

Still pissed that I missed out on the homemade tequila, though. That's what I get for going to bed at a decent hour. Evidently that was some incredibly awesome stuff.

I'm not a big fan of hops, though, so I'm not so sold on Pale Ales.

[Cluricaun]

Home made tequila? Shoo, the day that I'm able to take a legal crack at home distillation is the day that we're no longer allowed to park cars in the garage ever again.

[redtail]

Yeh, well. What the Revenooers don't know, won't hurt 'em.

I guess part of the diff is that I really don't care much for the mass-produced American beer. It's OK, and once in a great while on a really hot day I'll want one, but most of the time I'll pass.

But I'd bet you'd like either a Pale Ale or a White Ale. If you were around here, I'd tell you to find some Choc and give it a try. But I really don't drink enough beer to suggest any others.

ETA: I keep forgetting - yeah, Corona. Cheap-ass nasty beer that no one drinks in Mexico unless they're dead broke. Ship it up here and charge a fortune because it's an Import! And I guess they don't even actually import it these days, hmmm? *snort*

[Exy]

Why do I pay so much for something that tastes like concentrated hobo urine?

Because you're too wussy to drink coffee?

[Cluricaun]

Nah, I drink a ton of coffee. Black as night and boiling hot to boot.

[Exy]

Then, uh, why do you buy Red Bull? I tried one once, it tastes godawful, and it's expensive as hell. I always just assumed the target audience was kids who hadn't developed a taste for coffee yet.

[OneCentStamp]

Then, uh, why do you buy Red Bull? I tried one once, it tastes godawful, and it's expensive as hell. I always just assumed the target audience was kids who hadn't developed a taste for coffee yet.

I know you asked him, not me, but when has that ever stopped someone from chiming in on a message board?

I love coffee and I drink Red Bull. Sometimes coffee just sounds awful and something cold and fizzy sounds good. For me, "sometimes" is generally anytime after 2:00PM in winter, and moves earlier as the days get hotter. I can't drink hot coffee after about 9:00AM in Houston in July.

Plus the B Vitamins and amino acids make me feel as if I'm doing something healthy.

[Laughing Lagomorph]

... I can't drink hot coffee after about 9:00AM in Houston in July.
...

Is that nectar that is iced coffee unknown there? It's huge here in the Boston area and our summers are nowhere near as hot.

[OneCentStamp]

Is that nectar that is iced coffee unknown there? It's huge here in the Boston area and our summers are nowhere near as hot.

It's known, I just can't stand it. By all rights and by all indications from my other food and drink preferences, I should love the stuff. But I hate it.

Iced coffee, I'm so sorry baby. The problem isn't you, it's me.

[Laughing Lagomorph]

It's known, I just can't stand it. By all rights and by all indications from my other food and drink preferences, I should love the stuff. But I hate it.

Iced coffee, I'm so sorry baby. The problem isn't you, it's me.

OK, let me ask you something because I've run into odd preconceptions among otherwise coffee-loving people who hate iced coffee.

When you hear "iced coffee" do you think of:

A. Chilled brewed coffee with ice that might have milk or cream and/or sweetener if the consumer normally likes their coffee that way.

or

B. An expensive frozen concoction that must contain at least 500 calories and 30 grams of fat, consist of at least 30% by volume of high fructose corn syrup, and cost about as much as a large pizza with pepperoni?

[Cluricaun]

Then, uh, why do you buy Red Bull? I tried one once, it tastes godawful, and it's expensive as hell. I always just assumed the target audience was kids who hadn't developed a taste for coffee yet.

Red Bull (or one of the millions of variations) is used for quick energy. Going out after work or hungover Saturdays where I have stuff to do. Coffee is a means to the same end, but I view it as a slower, more relaxed way to keep the fires burning.

As to iced coffee - To me that means some Starbuckian ice cream and sprinkles and whipped cream kind of a thing. I've never tried iced black coffee, it just doesn't sound thirst quenching for some reason.

[OneCentStamp]

A. Chilled brewed coffee with ice that might have milk or cream and/or sweetener if the consumer normally likes their coffee that way.

or

B. An expensive frozen concoction that must contain at least 500 calories and 30 grams of fat, consist of at least 30% by volume of high fructose corn syrup, and cost about as much as a large pizza with pepperoni?

I think of A. B sounds like those grotesque Starbucks concoctions, which are horrid, overpriced, contain pitifully little actual coffee, and are shockingly fattening. But I still don't like A. I was serious when I acknowledged the problem was mine.

[artifex]

When you hear "iced coffee" do you think of:

Iced coffee is brewed coffee over ice. But it doesn't taste the same. Since I know that the tongue doesn't perceive things the same way at different temps (e.g. sweet things are perceived as less sweet when they're frozen than not), I'm assuming that's what's going on. I like iced coffee, but while I would never in a million years put any sort of sweetener in hot coffee, I sometimes have to add a packet of it to iced coffee.

[Exy]

I love iced coffee, but it really does have to be sweetened. I don't take my coffee with sweetener but when I make iced coffee you bet I add some.

Sometimes I stick some cinnamon and cloves in the grounds when I make it, too.

[OtakuLoki]

I used to make *iced* coffee for our church picnic/festival. I never heard that it was supposed to be done by pouring the coffee over ice.

I would have a couple pitchers chilling towards normal temperature, and then immerse them into an ice water bath. When people came for the coffee, I'd offer it plain or over ice. Either way, I was complimented, often, for having been able to get the iced coffee so strong. It wasn't til I did some food service work in a real place that knew the 'proper' way to make iced coffee that I figured out why. I was just treating like I would tea...

Sometimes you shouldn't trust 13 year olds with the plain description of what you want.

[OneCentStamp]

I love iced coffee, but it really does have to be sweetened. I don't take my coffee with sweetener but when I make iced coffee you bet I add some.

Sometimes I stick some cinnamon and cloves in the grounds when I make it, too.

Hmm...almost like a chai made from coffee instead of tea...

[artifex]

Hmm...almost like a chai made from coffee instead of tea...

Or like the dirty chai lattes you mock me mercilessly for liking

[Laughing Lagomorph]

I think of A. B sounds like those grotesque Starbucks concoctions, which are horrid, overpriced, contain pitifully little actual coffee, and are shockingly fattening. But I still don't like A. I was serious when I acknowledged the problem was mine.

OK. I've been surprised to find many coffee drinkers who claim they don't like iced coffee but what they mean when they say that is "B", which isn't iced coffee but something else. Kinda like this guy here:

As to iced coffee - To me that means some Starbuckian ice cream and sprinkles and whipped cream kind of a thing.

To those people I say try, at least once, iced coffee the way you normally drink your hot coffee. When I was younger I liked it black, with sugar. Now I drink it with no sugar but some milk. No whipped cream, no sprinkles, no M+Ms, no HFCS. It's awesome on a hot day.

[Exy]

Sometimes you shouldn't trust 13 year olds with the plain description of what you want.

No, you did it right. If you pour hot coffee over ice, the coffee will be hot enough that it doesn't get nice and cold anyway, and it'll be too weak to enjoy.