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Thread: Why is it considered tacky to talk about money?

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    Prehistoric Bitchslapper Sarahfeena's avatar
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    Default Why is it considered tacky to talk about money?

    We talk about the stuff we buy with our money all the time, and based on our jobs and lifestyles, others can often suss out approximately where we stand on the income scale. So why is it that we aren't supposed to talk about it? Is it better this way, or should we feel more comfortable and less ashamed about discussing the actual numbers?

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    For whom nothing is written. Oliveloaf's avatar
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    Good question. How much do you make?
    "I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."

    -Jim Rockford

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    Oliphaunt The Original An Gadaí's avatar
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    I think it is partly because some people who talk in those terms, only talk in those terms. Also, it is considered philistinic, know the price of everything but not its value etc.
    I don't think it is tacky to talk about money but I would never ask someone directly how much they earn.

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    For whom nothing is written. Oliveloaf's avatar
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    My wife and I comfortably out earn much of my like-age relatives on my side of the family. For whatever reason, these same folks talk about little besides money. Their credit-card bills, what they can and cannot afford, and what "rich" people waste their money on. This always makes holiday chat dicey for us.

    There is a casual disdain among them for folks who are not struggling. I also need to bite my tongue about the wisdom of racking up serious credit-card debt.

    Now, my wife's siblings with a single exception, are crazy high earners. Interestingly, they never discuss money. Perhaps out of deference to us--or because it isn't an issue.
    "I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."

    -Jim Rockford

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    my god, he's full of stars... OneCentStamp's avatar
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    Not only can we draw conclusions indirectly about others' wealth level, we're expected to. Part of the social compact is being aware of others' probable SES so that they don't have to discuss it directly.

    I think a lot of it is due to weird (and conflicting) Christian values about money, where the New Testament seems to exalt the poor and excoriate the rich, yet being hard-working and self-sufficient is part of the Puritan ideal. I think it just leads to an unease about money in general, and the appearance of being poor or rich in particular.
    "You laugh at me because I'm different; I laugh at you because I'm on nitrous."

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    Elen síla lumenn' omentielvo What Exit?'s avatar
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    The whole process seems illogical to me but I end up following the standards to conform. I think it works to the favor of the employers that discussions of salary are kept to a minimum.

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    Free Exy Cluricaun's avatar
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    Because money is a source of a lot of worry and strife in most peoples lives, and it's not good or pleasant conversation to speak of things that make people recall stress and misery. Unless you win $543 million dollars, then you can mention that to everyone all the time, even flaunt it if you want.
    Hell, if I didn't do things just because they made me feel a bit ridiculous, I wouldn't have much of a social life. - Santo Rugger.

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    For whom nothing is written. Oliveloaf's avatar
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    I do wonder, a lot, about what some people earn. Not even out of jealousy, just to get of sense of what they do (or what they seem to do) and what they get out of it.
    "I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."

    -Jim Rockford

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    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    Personally, I don't discuss how much money I make for the same reason men suffering from micropenis don't discuss their sex lives.

  10. #10
    Oliphaunt
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    Talking about money is a way to almost guarantee that someone in the conversation is going to feel very, very bad about themselves.

  11. #11
    I've had better days, but I don't care! hatesfreedom's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Orual View post
    Talking about money is a way to almost guarantee that someone in the conversation is going to feel very, very bad about themselves.
    Orual said it as best as it can be said. You don't discuss how much money you make because you want to avoid telling your friends that you don't have their problems. If you have anything approaching a good group of friends you'll help them out as you can and so will they. There's no reason to discuss wealth really unless for some reason you want to rub into peoples faces your new 3D TV.
    Maybe I'm just not rich enough but we don't sit around bragging about our new BMW's, we sit around bragging about the great deal we got on a used BMW.

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    I've had better days, but I don't care! hatesfreedom's avatar
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    Or basically, I had a black vice principal in highschool named Mr. King (no lie) who gave a speech to our advanced history class. He said, basically, that racism was on the way out but that our economic social class was taking that place. That a poor white man and a poor black man had more in common than a rich black man and a poor black man ever would. As the years have passed I've seen no reason to discount his theory.

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    Clueless but well-meaning Hatshepsut's avatar
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    Well, Sarahfeena is right that we often give off lots of other signals about our income - buying nice cars and electronics, dressing well (or not), etc. - but I guess it is the directness of discussing money that bothers people. Saying "I'll pick you up at 4, look for the blue Lexus" is a lot less offensive than saying "I made $240,000 last year and expect a big raise!" Also, people do sometimes live beyond their means (or more modestly than they could afford), so while possessions are a good indicator of wealth, they aren't perfect.

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    For whom nothing is written. Oliveloaf's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Hatshepsut View post
    "I made $240,000 last year and expect a big raise!"

    Sigh.
    "I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."

    -Jim Rockford

  15. #15
    Clueless but well-meaning Hatshepsut's avatar
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    Erk! For the record, I don't drive a Lexus or earn anything close to $240,000 year.

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    my god, he's full of stars... OneCentStamp's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by hatesfreedom View post
    Maybe I'm just not rich enough but we don't sit around bragging about our new BMW's, we sit around bragging about the great deal we got on a used BMW.
    Same here, only with Corollas instead of BMWs!
    "You laugh at me because I'm different; I laugh at you because I'm on nitrous."

    find me at Goodreads

  17. #17
    For whom nothing is written. Oliveloaf's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Hatshepsut View post
    Erk! For the record, I don't drive a Lexus or earn anything close to $240,000 year.
    I realize that it was just an example. But such a nice one.

    Sigh.
    "I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."

    -Jim Rockford

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