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Thread: Fuck you Sandra Lee. Have you no shame?

  1. #1
    Porno Dealing Monster pepperlandgirl's avatar
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    Default Fuck you Sandra Lee. Have you no shame?

    She should be fired for this!

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    The Apostabulous Inner Stickler's avatar
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    I know. I at least mix the ketchup with barbecue sauce, vinegar, and brown sugar.
    I don't think so, therefore I'm probably not.

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    MOON GIRL FIGHTS CRIME Myrnalene's avatar
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    OMG I GET TO POST KWANZAA CAKE?!




    I LOVE YOU PEPPER.
    Last edited by Myrnalene; 04 Mar 2010 at 12:39 AM. Reason: I GOT SO EXCITED I FORGOT HOW TO CODE
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    Large member. AndrewRyan's avatar
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    I watch food network in the morning to catch my favorite cook, Ina Garten on Barefoot Contessa. She is ridiculously awesome, and everything she makes looks incredible. And what comes on right after her? Semi-Homemade. Its like test driving a Ferrari, then riding your bicycle home. Die Sandra Lee.
    Hell hath no fury, like a woman's scorn for video games.

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    The Apostabulous Inner Stickler's avatar
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    I like Ina Garten too, but she does have some, um, irritating tendencies. Like her rhetorical questions. Or her gooood vanilla. Like I'm going to bake her fucking cake with the shoddiest excuse for vanilla I can find.

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    Elephant Feirefiz's avatar
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    This one is still my favorite. The very end is the best part.



    You can embellish any cake with anything you like.
    Last edited by pepperlandgirl; 04 Mar 2010 at 01:03 AM.

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    Porno Dealing Monster pepperlandgirl's avatar
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    Oh sweet Jesus, I need to find the clip for this!
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    Porosity Caster parzival's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Feirefiz View post
    This one is still my favorite. The very end is the best part.
    You get the feeling that the ghost of her grandmother is inside her head, screaming at her constantly. I wonder if she thinks we can hear it too.

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    Free Exy Cluricaun's avatar
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    I like Sandy. She's like one of those desperate full blown alcoholics who cling to things like table scapes and window treatments as a way to try and exert some sort of control on their Mr. Toad's Wild Ride of a life, while at the same time turning any event (Child's birthday party?!) into an excuse to make big ol' Kool Aid pitchers full of vodka cranberry. She's just so midwestern, it's comforting.

    I'll bet any amount of money that her front step has a cast concrete Canada Goose on it that she dresses up with special outfits for the different holidays. Such are the ways of my people.
    Hell, if I didn't do things just because they made me feel a bit ridiculous, I wouldn't have much of a social life. - Santo Rugger.

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    Prehistoric Bitchslapper Sarahfeena's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Feirefiz View post
    This one is still my favorite. The very end is the best part.

    I'm so confused...why did she trim the cake down and put it on the disposable aluminum-foil cake pan, again? And why would you put icing on the cake pan? Wouldn't the effect be better to leave one of the layers whole, trim the other, and make a stepped-in layer cake?

    I have SO MANY QUESTIONS.

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    Living la vida broke-a Revs's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Cluricaun View post
    I like Sandy. She's like one of those desperate full blown alcoholics who cling to things like table scapes and window treatments as a way to try and exert some sort of control on their Mr. Toad's Wild Ride of a life, while at the same time turning any event (Child's birthday party?!) into an excuse to make big ol' Kool Aid pitchers full of vodka cranberry. She's just so midwestern, it's comforting.

    I'll bet any amount of money that her front step has a cast concrete Canada Goose on it that she dresses up with special outfits for the different holidays. Such are the ways of my people.
    You just described every neighbor I had when I was growing up.
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    Curmudgeon OtakuLoki's avatar
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    Pepper, I love you dearly, as I hope you know. But I have to say I don't get the hate for your original clip.

    I don't like ketchup glazes, even those that have been improved as Sticks suggests, but they're popular with a lot of people.

    What I'd rather complain about with her is that it seems to me that she's gone so far overboard into the concept of 'let's use prepared/canned foods to make meals' she's adding fat, sodium, and complexity, where actual raw ingredients would be just as useful, easy to use, and flavorful. It seems to me that her show is contributing to the popular idea that you need lots and lots of time to cook from scratch, when I think that's just the opposite: It may take a bit more planning, but the time constraints are often a matter of ten to fifteen minutes more prep time, compared to an hour or so of cook time - which seems a negligible delay.

    And one that pays off so well in terms of taste and healthfulness.

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    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Sarahfeena View post
    I'm so confused...why did she trim the cake down and put it on the disposable aluminum-foil cake pan, again? And why would you put icing on the cake pan? Wouldn't the effect be better to leave one of the layers whole, trim the other, and make a stepped-in layer cake?

    I have SO MANY QUESTIONS.
    I am very confused as well. What was the point of that? Any of that? And how did adding half a teaspoon of raspberry extract make the canned frosting taste homemade?

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    The Apostabulous Inner Stickler's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by OtakuLoki View post
    Pepper, I love you dearly, as I hope you know. But I have to say I don't get the hate for your original clip.

    I don't like ketchup glazes, even those that have been improved as Sticks suggests, but they're popular with a lot of people.
    It's not just the sad excuse for a glaze that she made. Meatloaf is not an attractive dish. If you're going to cook it on a sheet instead of in a pan, at least do some cleanup before you show it to the camera. Cooking shows aren't just about food, they're about presentation. If your recipe tastes phenomenal but looks like shit, you shouldn't use it on a show.
    I don't think so, therefore I'm probably not.

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    Curmudgeon OtakuLoki's avatar
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    But that's just it - making meatloaf on a sheet, instead of using a loaf pan, it's inevitably going to bake in such a way to ruin any squaring off you put into it. Once the decision was made to use a baking sheet, there's no way to make meatloaf look good. And I can see why someone ostensibly trying to show off what the 'average' person can do in the kitchen would eschew such a relatively intimidating* baking tool as a loaf pan.



    *intimidating for the sort of person for whom the idea of cooking at all is big step. The sort of person who thinks that cooking a good steak at home is a big deal, because that's so far beyond their experience.


    ETA: I agree with you about the presentation factor, just trying to suggest that there are circumstances where that general rule might be overridden in pursuit of some specific goal.
    Last edited by OtakuLoki; 04 Mar 2010 at 02:27 PM.

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    Porosity Caster parzival's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Zuul View post
    I am very confused as well. What was the point of that? Any of that? And how did adding half a teaspoon of raspberry extract make the canned frosting taste homemade?
    Shh! No Questions! Grandma will hear you! She demands we ice the pan. We cannot disobey her, can we?

    I watched the cake one again and noticed that she apparently plans to later snack on cake bits and a cocktail made with peaches. I thought maybe it was fruit cocktail, but now I'm not so sure.

  17. #17
    Porno Dealing Monster pepperlandgirl's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Inner Stickler View post
    It's not just the sad excuse for a glaze that she made. Meatloaf is not an attractive dish. If you're going to cook it on a sheet instead of in a pan, at least do some cleanup before you show it to the camera. Cooking shows aren't just about food, they're about presentation. If your recipe tastes phenomenal but looks like shit, you shouldn't use it on a show.
    Precisely. I don't care about the ketchup glaze at all. I care about the fact that she's a lazy drunk with a cooking show and her food looks inedible (and I know from experience tastes awful).

    Alton makes meatloaf on a sheet instead of a loaf pan, because of the grease factor. But Alton takes the time to make the meatloaf itself tasty. He also shapes it in a pan and so the meat is tightly held together, not a few loose handfuls thrown on the pan. Finally, he would never, ever, ever ever allow something like that to be on his show. And why? Because he loves food. He takes pride in his work. It's important to him that his food be tasty and attractive and nutritious.

    Sandy literally doesn't give a fuck. You can tell that she couldn't even be bothered to mix the meat thoroughly because you can see the egg she uses. Now, if she wants to cook up abortions like that in her own kitchen, that's her business. God knows I've probably done worse in my time. But I don't have a cooking show on the Food Network and neither should she.

    And parzival, it's never a fruit cocktail. Ever.
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    Prehistoric Bitchslapper Sarahfeena's avatar
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    I have a meatloaf recipe from one of Martha Stewart's books. She recommends not using a loaf pan, but she says to place it on a rack. and place the rack in a shallow pan (like a jelly roll pan). That way, the grease drips through. Simple. Brilliant. I Martha.

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    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Sarahfeena View post
    I have a meatloaf recipe from one of Martha Stewart's books. She recommends not using a loaf pan, but she says to place it on a rack. and place the rack in a shallow pan (like a jelly roll pan). That way, the grease drips through. Simple. Brilliant. I Martha.
    Fantastic idea! I'll remember that for the next time I make meatloaf.

  20. #20
    Mammuthus primigenius eleanorigby's avatar
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    I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss Sandra Lee's abilities in the kitchen. Perhaps her Grandma Lorraine passed on a secret and now Ms Lee gets to share it with the world: the aluminum foil cake pans are edible and help prevent Alzheimer's! Why else frost them?

    Surely there can be no other reason for 1. not using some kind of serving plate or even a dinner plate to put the cake on; 2. Removing a not insignificant portion of the cake to make it fit onto a flimsy and useless item; and 3. frosting them as 2 different cakes, instead of a double layer cake.

    Raspberry and peaches? No thanks. And I have to agree with the OP--that meatloaf is nothing but a hot mess, literally. Third graders can make better dinners. Kraft makes better dinners!

    But the Kwanzaa cake is the winner for me--never have so many odd ingredients come together to make such an unappetizing dessert. I like the candles best--they add a certain something to the presentation...

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    The Apostabulous Inner Stickler's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by OtakuLoki View post
    But that's just it - making meatloaf on a sheet, instead of using a loaf pan, it's inevitably going to bake in such a way to ruin any squaring off you put into it. Once the decision was made to use a baking sheet, there's no way to make meatloaf look good. And I can see why someone ostensibly trying to show off what the 'average' person can do in the kitchen would eschew such a relatively intimidating* baking tool as a loaf pan.
    I suck at carpentry which is frustrating because it's pretty much what my job entails. Does that mean my boss teaches me ways that structurally fit the requirements but look like crap? No and I wouldn't want to learn them. If you are teaching someone who is afraid of cooking how to cook then you choose recipes that are easy and will look good. Nobody wants trainer recipes that look like shit. There's no motivation to improve your skills. And frankly, meatloaf isn't that difficult a dish to make presentable.
    I don't think so, therefore I'm probably not.

  22. #22
    Yes, I'm a cat. What's it to you? Muffin's avatar
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    Her big mistake was using ketchup for blood and then putting her creation in the oven rather than using Strickfaden’s Tesla coil to animate it.
    Quote Originally posted by pepperlandgirl View post
    She should be fired for this!


  23. #23
    Elephant artifex's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by OtakuLoki View post
    And I can see why someone ostensibly trying to show off what the 'average' person can do in the kitchen would eschew such a relatively intimidating* baking tool as a loaf pan.
    I have to disagree. A loaf pan is highly basic, and fairly ubiquitous. I'd buy a mandolin being referred to as intimidating, but not a rectangular baking dish.

    But the thing is, it's a food network; one should expect culinary techniques to be employed and taught. I wouldn't get annoyed at the home improvement shows for using a circular saw; I mean, I may be inexperienced and not terribly comfortable with using one, but that's the sort of thing involved in carpentry.

    (Now I'm imagining Sandra Lee doing a home improvement show; it involves a lot of Play-Doh.)

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    Oliphaunt jali's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Cluricaun View post
    I like Sandy. She's like one of those desperate full blown alcoholics who cling to things like table scapes and window treatments as a way to try and exert some sort of control on their Mr. Toad's Wild Ride of a life, while at the same time turning any event (Child's birthday party?!) into an excuse to make big ol' Kool Aid pitchers full of vodka cranberry. She's just so midwestern, it's comforting.

    I'll bet any amount of money that her front step has a cast concrete Canada Goose on it that she dresses up with special outfits for the different holidays. Such are the ways of my people.
    I can't breathe. I'm laughing so hard. This is a fucking brilliant post.
    Such are the ways of my people. Ohhhhhhhhh.
    Last edited by jali; 10 Mar 2010 at 10:38 PM.
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    I know I've linked this in chat so probably a lot of you have seen it. I just love the absolute, genuine, palpable joy she feels as soon as it's Cocktail Time.

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    Mammuthus primigenius eleanorigby's avatar
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    Exy--that is classic! I can't decide which I like more: the porn theme or the every-morning-is-Christmas-and-I-got-everything-I-want! look when she's mixing her drink of choice...

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    Sophmoric Existentialist
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    Wow. That is amazing.

    Why does that person have a "cooking show"? Holy cow. It's not a joke, is it? I mean, is it? Cutting a cake to fit on the bottom of a disposable pan? WTF? Who would eat that shit?

    Everything she did was just disgusting. Canned "frosting"? For the luvva pete. Have any of you ever tasted that stuff?

    As for Martha Stewart. Well, there are those who sneer at Martha, but I am not one of them. If Martha tells you how a cake ought to be made and iced (frosted, as you Americans say), then you may be sure it's the right way. She might be an anal bitch but by god, the woman knows what she's doing in the kitchen.
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    my god, he's full of stars... OneCentStamp's avatar
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    Eh. Not her fault. She would be cooking heating and serving the same shit without the TV cameras, so I can hardly hate her for cashing the checks someone wants to give her for doing so.

    The real fault lies with Food Network. She's merely the most egregious example of the network's trend over the past decade, that of moving away from chefs with legitimate credentials and professional success regardless of photogenicity (Batali, Lagasse, Moulton) and towards cute, telegenic home chefs regardless of training or skill (Sandra, Rachael, Marcela).

    It sucks. It triple sucks.
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    Sophmoric Existentialist
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    Quote Originally posted by OneCentStamp View post
    Eh. Not her fault. She would be cooking heating and serving the same shit without the TV cameras, so I can hardly hate her for cashing the checks someone wants to give her for doing so.

    The real fault lies with Food Network. She's merely the most egregious example of the network's trend over the past decade, that of moving away from chefs with legitimate credentials and professional success regardless of photogenicity (Batali, Lagasse, Moulton) and towards cute, telegenic home chefs regardless of training or skill (Sandra, Rachael, Marcela).

    It sucks. It triple sucks.
    There is much in what you say. I subscribed to the Food Network because I like to watch cooking shows. But what do we get? We get chefs shouting obscenities and stupid contests and childish "how it's made" crap. Amateur bs like that Sandra Lee woman, or peculiar cake-decorating.

    It's part of our "cable package" so we still get it, but I don't even turn it on any more.
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    Quote Originally posted by vison View post
    It's part of our "cable package" so we still get it, but I don't even turn it on any more.
    We DVR Good Eats and Secrets of a Restaurant Chef, and that's about it. Oh, and watching Ina Garten is always fun; someday I want to be like her!

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    my god, he's full of stars... OneCentStamp's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by artifex View post
    We DVR Good Eats and Secrets of a Restaurant Chef, and that's about it. Oh, and watching Ina Garten is always fun; someday I want to be like her!
    Considering I hope and plan to be married to you at the time, please do!
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    Jesus F'ing Christ Glazer's avatar
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    Good Eats is the only show worth watching on that network. It even tells me good places to go here in town. Like Fontane's from the oyster show. About a mile from my house.
    Welcome to Mellophant.

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    Sophmoric Existentialist
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    The interwebs work in mysterious ways. Just after posting above I went out and turned on the TV and the Food Network and there was a very cool young man sitting beside a little outdoor stove in Italy and he was making different kinds of soup and one of them is the soup I'm making for lunch tomorrow. Simple, but interesting, and will no doubt be delicious. I'll have to substitute dried red peppers for the fresh chili peppers, but I have the other ingredients.

    And if I hadn't come in here to scope out that appalling Lee woman, I would never have seen it.

    Thank you, Sandra Lee.
    Sophmoric Existentialist

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    my god, he's full of stars... OneCentStamp's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by vison View post
    And if I hadn't come in here to scope out that appalling Lee woman, I would never have seen it.

    Thank you, Sandra Lee.
    Fine, I'll call off the hit squad for another week.
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    Mammuthus primigenius eleanorigby's avatar
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    I miss Sarah Moulton. I liked her.

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    my god, he's full of stars... OneCentStamp's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by eleanorigby View post
    I miss Sarah Moulton. I liked her.
    Me too. She was the prototypical FN chef of 8 year ago: dowdy and dry by Rachael Ray standards, but as the editor of Gourmet magazine, authoritative beyond reproach.

    With a few notable exceptions (Alton and Ina come to mind), they used to pretty much all be successful restaurateurs.
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    Quote Originally posted by OneCentStamp View post
    Me too. She was the prototypical FN chef of 8 year ago: dowdy and dry by Rachael Ray standards, but as the editor of Gourmet magazine, authoritative beyond reproach.

    With a few notable exceptions (Alton and Ina come to mind), they used to pretty much all be successful restaurateurs.
    RIP Gourmet Magazine.

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    Quote Originally posted by OneCentStamp View post
    Eh. Not her fault. She would be cooking heating and serving the same shit without the TV cameras, so I can hardly hate her for cashing the checks someone wants to give her for doing so.

    The real fault lies with Food Network. She's merely the most egregious example of the network's trend over the past decade, that of moving away from chefs with legitimate credentials and professional success regardless of photogenicity (Batali, Lagasse, Moulton) and towards cute, telegenic home chefs regardless of training or skill (Sandra, Rachael, Marcela).

    It sucks. It triple sucks.
    I wouldn't rule out her sleeping with one or more of the producers or execs at the Food Network, either.
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    I subscribed to Gourmet for many years but gave it up finally because it got too remote from my life. I enjoyed some of the articles, but in all the years (25?) years I subscribed I think I used maybe 3 recipes. I switched to Fine Cooking but gave that up because it's full of very boring yuppies (are there still yuppies outside Fine Cooking?) in $100,000 kitchens "plating" appetizers.

    I still take Cooks' Illustrated and Cooks' Country, they're fun even though the recipes are obsessively picky.

    I saw an ad for a "cooking show" titled Bitchin' Kitchen featuring a slutty-looking blonde and a lot of hot pink. I shall not watch it. I believe the end is nigh for The Food Network if it has to keep resorting to cheezier and cheezier "cooks" and premises.
    Last edited by vison; 20 Mar 2010 at 10:14 AM.
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    my god, he's full of stars... OneCentStamp's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Tuckerfan View post
    I wouldn't rule out her sleeping with one or more of the producers or execs at the Food Network, either.
    This just made me throw up in my mouth more than any of her nasty dishes. Consider, if you will, that Marc Summers is the producer of something like 1/4 of the shows on that network. I mean, his years on Double Dare should have prepared him to withstand any level of gross-out, but still...
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    Quote Originally posted by OneCentStamp View post
    This just made me throw up in my mouth more than any of her nasty dishes. Consider, if you will, that Marc Summers is the producer of something like 1/4 of the shows on that network. I mean, his years on Double Dare should have prepared him to withstand any level of gross-out, but still...
    Mental picture: Marc Summers pulling a Double Dare flag out of Sandra Lee. Yeah.

    And Artifex- Secrets of a Restaurant Chef? Seriously? You know that's just Guy Fierri in drag right?
    Hell, if I didn't do things just because they made me feel a bit ridiculous, I wouldn't have much of a social life. - Santo Rugger.

  42. #42
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    As someone without cable I do all my cooking-show watching on PBS. And let me tell you, it is far superior to the stupid Food Network. I could watch America's Test Kitchen all day (done by the Cook's Illustrated people). I also love watching anything with Jacques Pepin, especially the old shows of him and Julia Childs. And there's this Norwegian guy who cooks outside in cool places in Norway. I doubt I'd make much of his food, but it's still cool.

    I did see Sandra Lee a few years ago while indulging in some cable at my parents' and I was speechless. I agree with all the hatred of this putrid piece of crap. That is all.
    This tastes like the circus smells.

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    my god, he's full of stars... OneCentStamp's avatar
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    Didn't Ming Tsai go to PBS after he lost his Food Network gig? That dude can cook.
    Last edited by OneCentStamp; 23 Mar 2010 at 11:50 AM.
    "You laugh at me because I'm different; I laugh at you because I'm on nitrous."

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  44. #44
    Stegodon Fink-Nottle's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by OneCentStamp View post
    Didn't Ming Tsai go to PBS after he lost his Food Network gig? That dude can cook.
    YES! I love him!!! He can cook and he's sexy!
    This tastes like the circus smells.

  45. #45
    Free Exy Cluricaun's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Cluricaun View post
    And Artifex- Secrets of a Restaurant Chef? Seriously? You know that's just Guy Fierri in drag right?
    Since I last typed this I was subjected to Mr. "Anne Burrell" again over the weekend and I've figured out what the Secret of a Restaurant Chef is (besides tucking her Guy Fierei wang out of the way and combing her hair with an electric toothbrush)

    Salt. That woman puts salt in things like Paula Deen puts butter in things. She puts more salt in cooking water than I put in entire meals.

    The Food Network has to be stopped.
    Hell, if I didn't do things just because they made me feel a bit ridiculous, I wouldn't have much of a social life. - Santo Rugger.

  46. #46
    Stegodon Fink-Nottle's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Cluricaun View post
    Secrets of a Restaurant Chef? Seriously? You know that's just Guy Fierri in drag right?
    Okay I just googled Anne Burrell because I had no idea who she was, but my god! from the picture I saw I'm not even sure if you can properly say Guy Fierri in drag, as it implies at least trying to look like a woman.
    This tastes like the circus smells.

  47. #47
    my god, he's full of stars... OneCentStamp's avatar
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    OK, everyone who's hating on Anne Burrell can step outside with me right fucking now. :Shake:
    "You laugh at me because I'm different; I laugh at you because I'm on nitrous."

    find me at Goodreads

  48. #48
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    Salt is pretty awesome, guys.

  49. #49
    Sophmoric Existentialist
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    I, personally, loathed Ming Tsai but I admit he could cook.

    I love PBS's cooking shows, too. But I never have time to watch TV on Saturday during the day, which is the only time we get it.

    And, I like watching Martha Stewart, too. Only, is she still on?
    Sophmoric Existentialist

  50. #50
    Free Exy Cluricaun's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by OneCentStamp View post
    OK, everyone who's hating on Anne Burrell can step outside with me right fucking now. :Shake:
    Really? That's the hill you want to die on, defending Bozo the Chef? She's not personable, she's not fun to look at, and she's a mediocre cook at best. A salt obsessed brick shithouse with a fright wig on it about the best thing you can say.
    Hell, if I didn't do things just because they made me feel a bit ridiculous, I wouldn't have much of a social life. - Santo Rugger.

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