"And that's why 'Regina' rhymes with 'fun.'" - Deadpool
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"And that's why 'Regina' rhymes with 'fun.'" - Deadpool
"By the time I am twenty-six years old I am through busting virgins. Too much work! I am leaving that to the younger guys." —McGoorty
"I've played a lot of roles; damsel in distress ain't one of them." - Deadpool
"If you had the slightest idea of easing up on [Masako Katsura] because she was only a cute little girl, you were dead. She would murder you. I found out damned quick that you couldn't leave her an open shot. If you did she would take those balls away from you and stick them right up your pooper. The killer instinct — that broad had it, and never mind the little smile." —McGoorty
"Not out of the woods yet. You need to seriously ease up on the bedazzling. They're jeans, not a chandelier. P.S. I'm keeping your wallet. You did kinda give it to me." - Deadpool
"That's the first thing that strikes an American woman about Europe—that it's unsanitary. Impossible of them to conceive of a paradise without modern plumbing. If they find a bedbug they want to write a letter to the chamber of commerce." —Tropic of Cancer
"She's like Robin to my Batman, except she's old, and black, and blind. And I think she's in love with me. Wait, pretty sure Robin loves Batman, too." - Deadpool
"Little by little, as I gained his confidence, I wormed my way into his heart. I had him at such a point that he would come running after me, in the street, to inquire if he could lend me a few francs." —Tropic of Cancer
"Please don't make the super-suit green. Or animated." - Deadpool
"He is sorry now that he bought a corduroy suit and the cane and the fountain pens." — Tropic of Cancer
"My romantic rival, Bandhu. He's tied up in the trunk. I'm doing as you said, D.P. I plan to gut him like a polluted fish, then dump his carcass on Gita's doorstep." - Deadpool
"Nothing like a nice barroom brawl...so easy to stick a knife in a man's back or club him with a bottle when he's lying under a table. The poor Swede found himself in a hornet's nest; everyone in the place hated him, particularly his shipmates." —Tropic of Cancer
"I give a guy a pavement facial, it's because he's earned it." - Deadpool
"The earth is parched and cracked. Men and women come together like broods of vultures over a stinking carcass, to mate and fly apart again." —Tropic of Cancer
"What in the ass? That was not mean. I'm proud of you!" - Deadpool
"She embraced me passionately, and she groaned as all French cunts do when they get you into bed." —Tropic of Cancer
Dopinder: "Sir, what does Miss Mama June taste like?"
Deadpool: "Like two hobos fucking in a shoe filled with piss."
Deadpool
"Mama. Get the hammer. There is a fly on the baby's head."
—old novelty pop song
"Welcome to Sister Margaret's. It's like a job fair for mercenaries. Think of us as really fucked-up tooth fairies, except we knock out the teeth and take the cash. You'd best hope we never see your name on a gold card." - Deadpool
“Contrary to the proverb, the past is not a different country. And we still do today many of the things that were done in the past in different forms — things that diminish human dignity and treat labor as a mere resource, like capital.” — the (present-day) Archbishop of Canterbury
"Threats hurt, Jer, though not nearly as much as serrated steel. So keep away from Meghan. Cool?" - Deadpool
"Non, mademoiselle: all one ever needs is, are the good manners. The rest is just silliness and snobbery, valued only by boors." —Poirot - The Mystery of the Blue Train
[after receiving his cancer diagnosis] "You're clowning. You're not clowning? I sense clowns." - Deadpool
"So let them eat jelly beans, or let them cake.
Let them join the Air Force or the Corps,
Cause they just can't make it here anymore."
—unknown "country/Southern" song
"Use seltzer water and lemon juice for blood. Or wear red, dumbass!" - Deadpool
"Well, [my] last [mistake] was twenty-eight years ago." —Poirot - Cards on the Table
"You ate breakfast, yes? Breakfast is most important meal of day. Here, protein bar. Good for bones. Deadpool may try to break yours." - Deadpool
"He had to apply three times and he had to put up with a ton of shit, but when he threatened to resign, they gave it to him. The next youngest guy in his class was half his age. They must have thought he was some far-out old man humping it over that course. I did it when I was 19 and it damn near wasted me. A tough motherfucker" — Capt. Willard re quo Col. Kurtz, Apocalypse Now ETA that's bothering me: I think the ablative of res is OK...but better for person, masc., quo? Well, I'm not going to reach over to the grammar books now. It still bothers me. It's still a good bit of movie script, though. EETA I just decided that qui declined for ablative masculine is better. No, I have no reason why, it just seems better. ISTR something more like quodam or something. Shit. My brain is getting soft and spongy.
Roy SCHEIDER (fiddling with chronograph or something on his watch): <doing stuff>
some guy: "Sir, mind if I ask what you're doing, sir?"
SCHEIDER: "No, I don't mind at all!"
—Blue Thunder
"Fear always works."
~Dawn Bellwether in Disney's Zootopia
"Alone, with my tremendous empty longing and dread. The whole room for my thoughts. Nothing but myself and what I think, what I fear." —Tropic of Cancer
"I never carry a wallet when I'm working. Ruins the lines of my suit." - Deadpool
"When [Fillmore] returned to Paris with Ginette he had a complete new wardrobe and a pocketful of dough." —Tropic of Cancer
"Goddammit! I'm gonna do this the old-fashioned way: with two swords, and maximum effort." - Deadpool
"You goddamned cocksucking package, I'm going to fuck you into this cart until you fucking die, stupid-ass fucking package, take it like a bitch, my fist is good enough for you." — unnamed warehouse worker.
"You bet on me to die? Wow. Motherfucker, you're the world's worst friend. Well, joke's on you. I'm living to 102. And then die. Like the city of Detroit." - Deadpool
"You worthless, acid-smoking piece of illiterate shit. Don't ever send this kind of brain-damaged swill in here again. If I had the time, I'd come out there and drive a fucking wooden stake into your forehead. I'd like to kill those bastards [at Rolling Stone for sending me your piece . . . and I'd just as soon kill you too. Jam this morbid drivel up your ass where your readership will be better appreciated." —H.S. Thompson to an aspiring writer.
"Hey, shithead: when's the last time you picked your feet? I got a friend in Poughkeepsie who wants to talk to you. You ever been to Poughkeepsie?" — The French Connection
"Hey, hey, careful with that, Ronnie Milsap! We're downrange!" - Deadpool
"Do you know what it is about a woman that really arouses me? It's a very rare, physical quirk: it's when she tells the truth." —Poirot: Taken at the Flood
"See? You don't need to be a superhero to get the girl. The right girl will bring out the hero in you. Now, let's finish this epic wide shot... pull out, here we go... that looks nice, its gonna be about the only thing that's pullin' out tonight. Who doesn't love a happy ending, huh? Until next time, this is your friendly neighborhood Pool guy singing..." [alongside George Michael's "Careless Whisper" vocals] "I'm never gonna dance again, the way I danced with you, ohhhhhhh!" - Deadpool
"—If a man was smart, do you know what he'd do right now?
—What?
—I don't know: I thought you'd know."
—Dirty Mary Crazy Larry
"Okay, let's pro/con this superhero thing. Pro: they pull down a gaggle of ass, local dry-cleaning discounts, lucrative film deals, both origin stories and larger ensemble team movies. Con: they're all lame-ass teacher's pets!" - Deadpool
"I've found the RoHS lead-free solder specifications to be slightly ironic. RoHS [Restriction of Hazardous Substances Directive] is an EU directive on the use of certain hazardous substances in electrical and electronic equipment." —John Bacciagaluppi, "An Endangered Species?" in TapeOp: The Creative Music Recording Magazine, Aug/Sept 2018
"Did I say this was a love story? It's a horror movie." - Deadpool
"[E]xtra syllables reduce, not increase, vigour. This is particularly so in English, where the native words are short, & [sic] the long words are foreign." — Fowler, A Dictionary of Modern English Usage, OUP, 1944 text
"I'm a bad guy who's paid to fuck up worse guys." - Deadpool
"A female is, shortly put, a she, or put more-at-length,a woman-or-girl-or-cow-or-hen-or-the-like." — Fowler, Modern English Usage
"It reeks like old lady pants in here." - Deadpool
"By genteelism is here to be understood the substituting, for the ordinary, natural word that first suggests itself to mind, of a synonym that is thought to be less soiled by the common, herd, less familiar, less plebeian, less vulgar, less improper, less apt to come unhandsomely, betwixt the wind &[sic] our nobility." —Fowler, Dict.Mod.Engl.Us