Zoe: "I know something ain't right."
Wash: "Sweetie, we're crooks. If everything were right, we'd be in jail."
Firefly
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Zoe: "I know something ain't right."
Wash: "Sweetie, we're crooks. If everything were right, we'd be in jail."
Firefly
"Father to Blue: Now you keep ahold of him [Uncle Buck/Cameron Mitchell]: one whiff of whiskey or perfume, he's a hard man to hold down."
—[i]The High Chaparral" Ep. 1, "Destination Tucson"
Zoe: "Sir, we don't want to deal with Patience again."
Mal: "Why not?"
Zoe: "She shot you."
Mal: "Well, yeah, she did a bit."
Firefly
"The majority of finnish women seem at first glance not very appealing. Many of them have round grayish color faces, snub noses, a rare straight hair, short hairstyle, medium height, even excessive fullness and lack of waist. Their feet are full and short. They have large bones, wide back and knees, big palms of hands and soles of the feet. Such structure of the body better retains heat. Finnish women rarely use cosmetics. They does not wear shoes on heels. Sneakers and moccasins are favorite shoes in this country."
This is obviously the handiwork of a demented lunatic, but I think it's a very blunt way of describing its relationship to his or her body, I find it as remarkable in its simplicity as it is in its simplicity.
—The link is SFW, it's just an offensive bit of stereotyping of the Finns, but not anything more.
Mal: "Did you send word to Patience?"
Wash: "Yeah, ain't heard back yet. Didn't she shoot you one time?"
Mal: "Everyone's makin' a fuss!"
Firefly
"It's not necrophilia if the body's still warm."
— not too sure: could be an original, but I doubt it.
Mal: "I believe that woman's plannin' to shoot me again."
Jayne: "Here's a little concept I've been working on. Why don't we shoot her first?"
Wash: "It is her turn."
Firefly
"She stormed away from the callbox, accompanied delightedly by her hips, etc. The fiery darts encompasssing her about the amorously disposed were quenched as tow."
— Beckett, Murphy
Kaylee: "You like ships. You don't seem to be lookin' at the destinations. What you care about is the ships, and mine's the nicest."
Firefly
"He fixed with his eagle eyes a point in the empty sky where he fancied the kite to swim into view, and wound carefully in."
— Murphy
Mal: "You will keep a civil tongue in that mouth or I will sew it shut. Is there an understanding between us?"
Jayne: "You don't pay me to talk pretty. Just because Kaylee gets lubed up over some big-city dandy...."
Mal: "Walk away from this table, right now."
[Jayne exits, reluctantly]
Simon: "What do you pay him for?"
Mal: "What?"
Simon: "I was curious... what is his job on this ship?"
Mal: "... Public relations."
Firefly
"Murphy on the jobpath was a striking figure. Word went round among the members of the Blake League that the Master's conception of Bildad the Shuhite had come to life and was stalking about London in a green suit, seeking whom he might comfort."
— Murphy
Zoe: "If [the Reavers] take the ship, they'll rape us to death, eat our flesh, and sew our skins into their clothing. And if we're very, very lucky? They'll do it in that order."
Firefly
"'I sit on them that will not eat,' said Ticklepenny, 'jacking their jaws apart with the gag, spurning their tongues aside with the spatula, till the last tundish of drench is absorbed. I go round the cells with my shovel and bucket, I——'"
— Murphy
Jayne: "You're coming through good and loud."
Mal: "'Cause I'm standing right here."
Firefly
"'Look at me,' he said.
She looked through him. Or back off him."
— Murphy
Mal: "Now, you've only got to scare him."
Jayne: "Pain is scary."
Firefly
"What Paul Masson said nearly a century ago is still true today: 'We will sell no wine before its time.'"
Paul Masson's wines taste so good because they're made with such care.
All right, I have to stop.
Well, it took Beethoven f..........
No.
I don't know how Orson made it through those.
I have a lot of good stuff from Beckett's Murphy, but it's in the car and I don't want to go fetch it.
Some things can't be rushed: good m.....no, I can't even type it without laughing.
"Paul Masson's Emerald Dry. A delicious white wine."
— anon
EETA here's the lagniappe, you cocksuckers. https://youtu.be/oSs6DcA6dFI?t=29
My apologies for the crude epithet. It truly was not intended to offend or reflect on any aspect of others' nature, just a thoughtless attempt at levity, but I agree that was unacceptable and it won't happen again.
"As it turned out, Watt was never to know how long he spent in Mr. Knott's house, how long on the ground floor, how long on the first floor, how long altogether. All he could say was that it was a long time."
— Beckett, Watt
Zoe: "Don't think it's a good spot, sir. She still has the advantage over us."
Mal: "Everyone usually does. That's what makes us special."
Firefly
"Siddhartha Gautama, the Buddha, drew a circle with a piece of red chalk and said: 'When men, even unknowingly, are to meet one day, whatever may befall each, whatever the diverging paths, on the said day, they will inevitably come together in the red circle.'"
— Melville, The Red Circle, epigraph, possibly composed by Melville himself, as translated by unknown from the Wikipedia page.
Zoe: "Sir? I'd like you to take the helm, please. I need this man to tear all my clothes off."
[She grabs Wash by the jacket and drags him off]
Wash: "Work, work, work...."
Firefly
"Mofo, they are putting us on the jazz with all this CV bullshit."
— anonymous warehouse worker to a coworker
Book: "I've been out of the abbey two days, I've beaten a lawman senseless, I've fallen in with criminals. I watched the captain shoot the man I swore to protect. And I'm not even sure if I think he was wrong. I believe... I just... I think I'm on the wrong ship."
Inara: "Maybe. Or maybe you're exactly where you ought to be."
Firefly
"What? If I don't clear my sinuses I'm going to snore all night. If your kid spills his milk, what do you do, slap him in the head?"
— "Del" in Planes, Trains, and Automobiles
And also: "Betty, don't start that white zone sht again."
Simon: "I'm trying to put this as delicately as I can... how do I know you won't kill me in my sleep?"
Mal: "You don't know me, son, so let me explain this to you once: If I ever kill you, you'll be awake, you'll be facing me, and you'll be armed."
Simon: "Are you always this sentimental?"
Mal: "I had a good day."
Firefly
"Gonna be a short fuse.
Buck: And a long chance."
— The High Chaparral, "Gold Is Where You Leave It"
Simon: "You had the Alliance on you... criminals and savages... half the people on the ship have been shot or wounded, including yourself... and you're harboring known fugitives."
Mal: "We're still flying."
Simon: "That's not much."
Mal: "It's enough."
Firefly
“The president’s provocations — his coarsening of public discourse that lowers the threshold for acting out by people as mentally crippled as he — do not excuse the violent few. They must be punished. He must be removed.”
— George Will, Washington Post June 1, 2020
Lund: "You know, your coat is kinda a brownish color...."
Mal: "It was on sale." [Calmly sips his drink]
Lund: "You didn't toast. You know, I'm thinkin' you one of 'em In'e'pen'ents."
Mal: "And I'm thinkin' you weren't burdened with an overabundance of schooling. So why don't we just ignore each other until we go away?"
Firefly
"Over many of the dominant chords Sonny often times uses one of my favorite scales, the lydian dominant scale."
— "kingjazzmaestro"
Wash: "Every man there go back inside, or we will blow a new crater in this little moon."
Firefly
"Kid: You have a TV?
Grandpa: No. I just like to read the TV Guide. Read the TV Guide, you don't need a TV."
— The Lost Boys
Mal: "Shouldn't you be off bringing religiosity to the fuzzy-wuzzies or somesuch?"
Book: "Oh, I've got heathens aplenty right here."
Firefly
"They were a people of spasms, of upheavals, of ideas, the race of the individual genius. Their movements were more shocking by contrast with the quietude of every day, their great men greater by contrast with the the humanity of their mob."
—TE Lawrence, Seven Pillars of Wisdom
Inara: "What did I say to you about barging into my shuttle?"
Mal: "That it was manly and impulsive?"
Inara: "Yes, precisely. Only the exact phrase I used was, 'Don't.'"
Firefly
"When I returned it was June the sixteenth, and Nasir was still labouring [sic] in his tent. He and Auda had been seeing too much of one another for their good, and lately there had been a breach; [sic] but this was easily healed, and after a day the old chief was as much with us as ever, and as kind and as difficult."
—TE Lawr.
Mal: "Kaylee! What the hell is goin' on in the engine room? Were there monkeys? Some terrifying space monkeys maybe got loose?"
Firefly
"Buck: You know, Mano, that Blue Boy he make a lot of sense, don't he? Like finding sand in a rat hole."
— The High Chaparral "Feather of an Eagle" S2E19
Inara: "Mal, if you're being a gentleman, I may die of shock."
Firefly
"Can we drink? Oui oui oui! Can we look? Non non non! Well, that's how to taste if the wine is good."
— some old French or French-Canadian country tune, inexpertly translated.
Zoe: "Sir, I think you have a problem with your brain being missing."
Firefly
"O-ee-O. O-O. O-ee-O. O-O."
— The Winkie Men, The Wizard of Oz
Mal: "Hell, this job I would pull for free."
Zoe: "Then can I have your share?"
Mal: "No!"
Zoe: "If you die, can I have your share?"
Mal: "Yes."
Firefly
"Mano: You know, my friend, a woman is like a nagging avalanche.
Buck: A nagging, avalanche? Well I never heard of a nagging...what's an aval...
Mano: And there is only one way to stop it
Buck: What's that?
Mano: A distraction!"
— The High Chaparral, "For the Love of Carlos"
Jayne: "You know what the chain of command is? It's the chain I go get and beat you with 'til you understand who's in ruttin' command here!"
Firefly
"Indian: We smoke pipe, we have counsel.
John Cannon: Forget the pipe, we have counsel.
Indian: We smoke pipe, we have counsel."
— The High Chaparral, "Apache Trust"
Mal (after Jayne shoots a bad guy in the leg): "Nice shot."
Jayne: "I was aimin' for his head!"
Firefly