I was thoroughly satisfied.
When one knows the town bicycle, when one sees someone else riding it, one is ___________________________.
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I was thoroughly satisfied.
When one knows the town bicycle, when one sees someone else riding it, one is ___________________________.
tempted to push him off it and into the mill pond, whether or not the vicar is watching one.
Our last vicar was over eight feet tall and weighed close to 40 stone. Naturally, _______________________
he disposed of the consecrated body and blood of christ in a brisk manner.
People who don't make an effort to return one's belongings, no matter how small, are nothing more than ______________________________________
pond scum unworthy of my time, attention or thoughts.
Capt. Nemo had a pretty cool submarine. If I had one like that, I'd __________________________________
hire a former woman friend to work in the galley and serve me food and drink face to face on a daily basis.
The best revenge is not living well, but rather ____________________________________.
seeing your foes fail, suffer and envy you while you live well.
I'm sure some ancient Greek philosopher must have said that at some point. Or maybe it was ________________________?
Anaximander's fragment, since one might cite the earliest as a matter of principle.
Recompense, regret, and modern theories of justice are several _________________________________.
of the things my Great Aunt Edna will talk about by the hour, if you let her.
My Great Aunt Edna is quite large for a woman her age, and has man hands. Let me tell ya, her grip could ____________________
crush a cue ball yet hold the shaft gently.
Aunt Edna always used to have rough hands, but she always knew how to _________________________________________________.
properly moisturize, even when parachuting behind enemy lines during World War II.
I refuse to buy any car, truck, van, motorcycle, personal jet or helicopter that isn't bright yellow; after all, ________________
I have difficulty remembering my colors and the lights are growing dim.
When one isn't quite sure of the gender of a person, one might in private conversation refer to it as __________________________.
"Hey, you of indeterminate gender!"
Suave and sophisticated fellow that I am, I simply can't help myself, in crowded social situations, from __________________________________________
using the highest discretion when examining prospective mates: only from behind, and always from the shadows.
The nice thing about yoga pants is that _____________________.
they slide off so satisfyingly easily from all the supermodels I meet.
The last time I was in breezy, sophisticated, cosmopolitan Blawnox, Pa., of course I just had to ___________________
check up on my sister-wife and see if she been doing her pilates.
Nice thing about having girl bosses is that _____________________________.
most of them - not all, mind you - is good folks.
I don't know about you, but when I saw that enormous meteor screaming down towards Boise last week, I just about _____________________
crapped in my hands and rubbed it in my face.
One isn't really sure if wrapping one's car around a stop sign and damaging it really needs to report oneself to the city, but one is sure that ______________________________.
if one doesn't, someone else just might, even in Boise with that enormous meteor screaming down towards it.
The last time I went to a wedding, afterwards I kissed the bride, shook the groom's hand and then naturally ___________________
started to gobble down on that turkey neck, because that is a ridiculous sentence.
I was glad to see a good missing bartender today first time in a month or so because she had some great __________________.
thoughts on 14th-century agriculture, about which we had barely scratched the surface before she jetted off to Singapore.
Sure, you can say that you want to buy that $8 million Rochefoucauld wristwatch, but really, let's be honest, ______________________
a Casio or a Citizen with a slide rule bezel and a chronograph is really all one needs.
Only problem with the Swiss is that they ____________________________.
may say they don't recognize the Rochefoucauld movie reference, but you just know that, with a little Googling, they'd get it right away.
I have eighteen black staplers, eight red and three green ones, and I think if I get another one I'll probably __________________
recreate the Stations of the Cross, using plenty of metal fasteners AKA staples.
M. de La Rochefoucauld was a pretty sharp dude, but kids these days __________________________________________.
are just gonna look at their phones anyway, and they can easily Google it if they ever need to know the times in Monte Carlo, Beverly Hills, London, Paris, Rome and Gstaad.
I think the town of Gstaad either needs another vowel, or just has one out of place, but as my Great Aunt Edna always says, ______________________________
it's free to those who can afford it, but very expensive to those who cannot.
The best thing about chatting with a lovely woman and making plans to meet up in ten minutes for a quick bite to eat is when she __________________________________________.
says, "And later, perhaps, depending on how our meal goes, we can go back to my place for a night of mind-blowing Scrabble."
The last time that happened to me, let me tell you, pal, I couldn't believe ______________________________
that this woman ditched me after a good hour of pleasant conversation while I went to the men's room to do some stuff.
The thing about a man's ego is that it's _______________________.
always in danger of being bruised if not broken by the next pretty girl.
I've never met a woman named Wilfreda, pretty or otherwise, but if I did, I bet that _______________________
she probably would have had the right stuff: just a guess!
When a bartender invites you to a pretty swanky Italian restaurant, drives you there herself, and insists on paying for everything, for some inscrutable reason, the only thing is __________________________________.
... I have to wonder, of course, as to whether there'll be enough grated Parmesan cheese on hand.
I watched the new Peter Jackson documentary The Beatles: Get Back over the weekend, and unlike most people, I was thinking ________________________
this movie is not nearly long enough!
Deciding to actively despise every aspect of another person can lead to positive _______________________________________.
energy when you decide to finally just take the plunge and become a supervillain (especially if that other person is a superhero).
My favorite supervillain is probably The Underminer, although there's something to be said for ___________________
He Who Openly Mocks And Shames (not a very wieldy name, but that's why he's a supervillain, although not very well known).
The nice thing about meeting desirable, intelligent women is that there's always another ________________________________.
beer or three in the fridge if things are going well.
The last time I was in Beirut, I met a really nice girl, but after talking for more than two hours in an oceanside cafe she ______________________________
revealed herself.....as an amateur astrology fanatic.
The greatest gift space cadets gave to we [ed. yes, but "give" is a copulative verb, AFAIK, and besides, it's idiomatic] mere earthlings was ____________________________________
a better appreciation of humanity's relative lack of importance in the greater cosmos.
The last time I visited Proxima Centauri IV, I forgot to pack my _________________________
towel.
The odd thing about women is that they can and do change their ________________________________.
minds, about fjords and babelfish and towels and leaders with two heads and even Vogon poetry, and yet remain hoopy froods.
Of course I recognize that reference; I wasn't born on Proxima Centauri IV yesterday, or even ___________________
that other place I can't recall.
The weird thing about astrology is that it _____________________.
sometimes (only once in awhile, mind you), has nothing at all to do with who you are or what you'll do in life.
"On the other hand," Alan Greenspan once told me, "reading your horoscope before making high-stakes investing decisions can really ________________________________."
put you in the big league company of Nancy Davis."
When a bartender is being a superbitch to you and complains about the music you put on the jukebox, only thing to do is ___________________________________.
feed in as many quarters as you have, punch in the same song over and over and over again, and leave.
A friend of mine actually did that once. No, really, he did! No fooling. Pretty funny, except for ____________________________________________
that the bartender was a super-mega-ulttra bitch and just shut thre whole thing down while being a super-mega-ultra bitch about it.
Nice thing about exhanging phone numbers with a non-bitch who is easy on the eyes is that ______________________________________
you never know when she might ask you to pick the next song on the jukebox.
When you see the newest James Bond movie, No Time to Die, be sure to ________________
not see it, because one is tired.
When setting up a first date with a gal, be sure to __________________________
confirm that she has no STDs, asking, of course, for written confirmation on a doctor's letterhead. Chicks dig that magical little bit of romance.
The last time I did that, it will not surprise you to learn, ______________________________________
that I got slapped in the face and a box of prophylactics thrown at my dick.
Having dates outdoors when it's cold as hell is sure to lead to _________________________________
(if you're lucky) prolonged snuggling under blankets and occasional giggles, to which I have no objection at all.
The last time I was in Singapore, I met a man who tried to convince me not only that the Moon was made of green cheese, but that _________________________
paled in comparison to the time this former lady friend and a current interest spent who knows how many minutes chatting without my supervision.
Worse than a sewing circle it is, when a few ________________________________
gibbons decide to tie you down and give you an involuntary manicure without anesthesia.
The last time that happened to me, I naturally called my Great Aunt Edna and shouted, "_________________________"