"Hey what's with you Rog? She was great, she was beautiful. She made me want to go out and buy rubbers!"
— Lethal Weapon 2
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"Hey what's with you Rog? She was great, she was beautiful. She made me want to go out and buy rubbers!"
— Lethal Weapon 2
Zoë: "Are we going in?"
Mal: "Only but a few hours out."
Wash: "Yeah, but remember the part where it's a trap?"
Serenity
"The trouble with you," the detective [Paul Drake] told him [Perry Mason], "is that you go into too darn much. Incidentally, you're getting the reputation of being a legal wizard."
"How do you mean – a wizard?" Mason asked.
"They figure that you can pull a verdict out of the hat, just like a magician pulls out a rabbit," Drake told him. "Your methods aren't orthodox; they're dramatic and effective."
— Gardner, The Case of the Howling Dog
Kaylee: "But how can you be sure Inara don't just wanna see you? Sometimes people have feelings. And I'm referring here to people."
Serenity
"I don't think is Bolivians. I think is iust, neighborhood kyeds being choads."
— "NoHo Hank," S03E3, Barry, "ben mendelsohn"
Mal: "Zoe, ship is yours. Remember. If anything happens to me or if you don't hear from me within the hour, you take this ship and you come and you rescue me."
Serenity
"There are two compelling reasons a lawyer needs to avoid such clashes. First, when judges interrupt a cross-examination, it interferes with the flow of the lawyer’s questions. Second, whether it is the case or not, jurors will automatically believe you are doing something you should not be doing if the neutral judge is intervening. Both of these outcomes seriously limit a lawyer’s effectiveness and credibility."
— one of the *Perry Mason Story* novels...can't remember which. It might be *Case of the Curious Bride.* Hell, aren't they all? :)
Mal: "Dear Buddha, please bring me a pony and a plastic rocket...."
Serenity
"LIFETIME WARRANTY. If your merino briefs do not perform to your satisfaction, return them within 60 DAYS for a hassle-free refund, exchange, or replacement."
— some blurb-de-blurb about some merino wool undershorts
Inara: "Mal, what are you doing here!?"
Mal: "You invited me."
Inara: "I never thought for a second you'd be stupid enough to come!"
Mal: "Well, that makes you kind of a tease, doesn't it?"
Serenity
"If Rip Torn gave it to you, it probably fires real bullets."
— Barry S4E3, "you're charming"
Mal: "She is a mite unpredictable. Mood swings, of a sort."
The Operative: "It's worse than you know."
Mal: "It usually is."
Serenity
“I could send her a picture of herself sleeping, as a way of saying, ‘Hey, not cool, what you did to Sally.’ The whole point is to isolate her and make her feel like she’s going insane. Replace her dog with a slightly different dog. Change the furniture in her house so she thinks she’s shrinking. Basic stuff, mostly I learned in the military, some of it on a sub-Reddit. Basically you plant a seed and then they just hang themselves. So it’s super-nonviolent. But by the end, her brain will have eventually eaten itself."
— Barry
The Operative: "That girl will rain destruction down on you and your ship. She is an albatross, Captain."
Mal: "The way I remember it, albatross was a ship's good luck, 'til some idiot killed it. [to Inara] Yes, I've read a poem. Try not to faint."
Serenity
""But," explained Mason, patiently, "I have already talked that way
to you."
— "But you can't do it."
"Why not?""
— meh, one of the Perry Mason novels
The Operative: "That is a trap. I offer money, you'll play the man of honor and take umbrage. I ask you to do what is right, you'll play the brigand. I have no stomach for games. I already know you will not see reason."
Mal: "The Alliance wanted to show me reason, they shouldn't have sent an assassin."
Serenity
"Perry Mason took advantage of their preoccupation to walk with swift strides to the telephone booth. He jerked open the door. "Drop down to the floor, Rhoda," he said.
"I can't. There isn't room."
"You've got to make room. Turn around facing me. Get your back flat against the wall under the shelf that the telephone's on... That's it...Now double up your knees. That's fine.""
— a *Perry Mason* novel (the one I've been reading now on-and-off...unfortunately can't remember the title).
"Meanwhile we’ll sacrifice to Liberty. Remember, O my friends, the laws, the rights, the generous plan of power delivered down, from age to age, by your renowned forefathers (so dearly bought, the price of so much blood). O let it never perish in your hands! But piously transmit it to your children. Do thou, great Liberty, inspire our souls, and make our lives in thy possession happy, or our deaths glorious in thy just defense.”
Joseph Addison, Cato (1712)
"Well, it’s the sign that makes up the part of your chart called the Ascendant, which is at the cusp of the 1st house. Cusp is an astrological term used to describe the lines between the Sun signs and the lines between the houses."
— some astrology website. eh, shuddup, it's fun! and chicks dig it!
The Operative: "I have a warship in deep orbit, Captain. We locked onto Serenity's pulse beacon the moment you hit atmo. I can speak a word and send a missile to that exact location inside of three minutes."
Mal (showing the pulse beacon he's brought with him): "You do that, you'd best make peace with your dear and fluffy lord."
Serenity
“I’ve seen your type before. Flashy. Makin’ the scene. Flouting convention.”
— Seinfeld (broke link in link to avoid preview feature, and therefore clutter. Amusing scenario though, as one recalls even dimly.)
"I could drop you like a bag of dirt."
Elaine Benes to Frank Costanza, "The Little Kicks," Seinfeld
"But I saw you push the women and children out of the way in a mad panic. I saw you knock them down. And when you ran out, you left everyone behind."
— Seinfeld, "The Fire." (Yes we had a building-wide fire drill at work last week and it was amusing....to stand around baking in the hot sun until the only person with the key to turn off the alarm, who happens to work at the far end of the building, probably 300m away, one of the head maintenance dudes, finally got around to ending that instructive exercise....jokes were made....Costanzas were identified).
"But I don't wanna be a pirate!"
Jerry Seinfeld to Kramer, "The Puffy Shirt," Seinfeld
"Roy Skammer seemed amiable and smiled a lot, but Eddie didn't like him. He did not like the man's glib way of talking."
— Tevis, The Color of Money
Mal: "Advice from an old tracker. You want to find someone? Use your eyes."
Serenity
“'You want to do a TV show with the Mick, listen to this: Vietnam vet. Private eye. Short. Blind. Large dog.'”
— Norman Lear, reported speech by Mickey Rooney, in his *Even* This *I Get to Experience*
The Operative: "How long do you think you can really run from us?"
Mal: "I never credited the Alliance with an overabundance of brains. And if you're the best they got...."
Serenity
"The progression of 8-ball skill level seems to go like the following list, from beginner to advanced. Knowing where you are today gives an idea where your game can be tomorrow:
Shoot at anything regardless of runout possibilities.
Shoot at anything, except for balls hanging in the pockets.
Play safeties when you can't run out.
Play safeties, bunting balls around, even when you can run out.
Realize that leaving the hanging balls is the worst thing for your game.
Realize that knocking in the hanging ball and using it to gain position makes for more runouts.
Realize that other people are running out on you while you're bunting around.
Go for the runout nearly every time when it's available."
— some random bit of advice re Eight-Ball (don't remember the source)
The Operative: "Capt. Reynolds, I should tell you, so that you don’t waste your time - you can't make me angry."
Inara: "Please, spend an hour with him."
Serenity
"I'm sorry, but I'll just bet you're hitting the balls too hard."
George Fels's classic, Mastering Pool
The Operative: "I want to resolve this like civilized men. I'm not threatening you. I'm unarmed...."
Mal: "Good." (shoots him)
Serenity
"Christ in heaven, I thought I was going to have to shoot myself! Are you sticking it in that? Bitch just took ten years off my life! Let's get out of here before that nutjob comes back. [...] That's a new low, even for you, Frankie. I'd nail a hooker down on Wacker before....gah!"
— Frank's mother, *Shameless*, S2E06
The Operative (after being shot and immediately jumping back up again): "I am of course wearing full body armor. I am not a moron."
Serenity
"Frank, I have no fucking idea what you're talking about, but if you don't shut up, I'm going to stab you with this ice scooper."
— *Shameless* S2E07
Jayne: "You dumb-ass hogs, the only people she's a threat to is us on this boat."
Serenity
"Rats! It says in order to get a hospice license, I have to get a nursing degree.
— You know, University of River Phoenix. It's all online. Seen the ads on TV."
— *Shameless*, S2E09
Jayne: "Oh, yeah. Hiding under the Shepherd's skirts, that's a manful scheme."
Mal: "You wanna run this ship?"
Jayne: "Yes!"
Mal (thrown): "Well... you can’t."
Serenity
"As 007 warned Delicious: "Smitty ain't looking to gamble with you playing
on the level. He's looking to steal. He'll only be backing you in games he
knows you'll win. And he's gonna ride you like a racehorse. It's gonna be
like pool prison.""
— L. John Wertheim, *Running the Table* (a biography of RL pool hustler/A-player "Kid Delicious")
Inara: "I just want to know who I'm dealing with. I've seen too many versions of you to be sure."
Mal: "I start fighting a war, I guarantee you'll see something new."
Serenity
"The Tappet Brothers, Click and Clack, of NPR’s Car Talk fame, argued the problem with the zipper procedure is the engineers hold that efficiency–zippering–is the important issue, while many drivers hold that the moral issue–wait your turn–is more important. The brothers sided with morality. My view depends on which lane I’m in."
— a post from the SDMB. Not sure if it kosher to cite a post w/o permission, but it does seem to be part of public discourse.
Mal: "The government's man, he says you're a danger to us. Not worth helping. Is he right? Are you anything but a weapon? I've staked my crew's life on the theory you're a person. Actual and whole, and if I'm wrong, you’d best shoot me now... [River cocks the gun; he quickly adds] ...or we can talk more!"
Serenity
"Can you meet me for a drink?
— Is everything all right?
Um, if everything was all right, then I wouldn't be asking you to meet me for a drink on short notice!
— Can you tell me on the phone?
James, just put on your big boy pants and meet your father at the bar of your choice so we can mumble like men over a beer."
— Shameless S3, E4, "The Helpful Gallaghers"
The Operative: "I'm sorry. If your quarry goes to ground, leave no ground to go to. You should have taken my offer. Or did you think none of this was your fault?"
Mal: "I don't murder children."
The Operative: "I do, if I have to."
Serenity
"My favorite phrase about this style of playing is that all you need to play it is five strings, two notes, two fingers and one asshole."
— Keith Richards on playing guitar in "open-G" tuning
Mal: "Why? Do you even know why they sent you?"
The Operative: "It's not my place to ask. I believe in something greater than myself. A better world. A world without sin."
Serenity
"I believe you. But it's not going to save you."
— Taken (motion picture)
Mal: "...Me and mine gotta lay down and die so you can live in your better world?"
The Operative: "I'm not going to live there... There's no place for me there, any more than there is for you. Malcolm, I'm a monster. What I do is evil. I have no illusions about it, but it must be done."
Serenity
"Nobody, but nobody, makes Sheriff Buford T. Justice look like a possum's pecker!"
— Smokey and the Bandit
Mal: "This report is maybe twelve years old. Parliament buried it, and it stayed buried till River dug it up. This is what they feared she knew. And they were right to fear, because there's a whole universe of folk who are gonna know it, too. They're gonna see it. Somebody has to speak for these people. You all got on this boat for different reasons, but you all come to the same place. So now I'm asking more of you than I have before. Maybe all. Sure as I know anything I know this, they will try again. Maybe on another world, maybe on this very ground swept clean. A year from now, ten, they'll swing back to the belief that they can make people… better. And I do not hold to that. So no more running. I aim to misbehave."
Serenity