"If you'd have kicked ass in any other place but Chalkie's, Atlantic City would be dead for us. The guys never leave the street." —The Color of Money
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"If you'd have kicked ass in any other place but Chalkie's, Atlantic City would be dead for us. The guys never leave the street." —The Color of Money
Luna: "You're biting my nails."
Miles: "It's because you're tense."
Sleeper
"Straight pool is pool. This is like hand-ball, or cribbage, or something. Straight pool, you gotta be a real surgeon to get 'em, you know. It's all finesse. Now, every thing is nine-ball, 'cause it's fast, good for T.V., good for a lot of break shots." —The Color of Money
"My God! I beat a man insensible with a strawberry!" - Sleeper
"Don't try to take my hand, numbnuts! I said choke yourself: lean forward and choke yourself!" —Full Metal Jacket
"Are there female robots? Because the possibilities are limitless." - Sleeper
"This baby-san looks like she can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch." —Full Metal Jacket
"I'm a nice person. I have healthy life drives. I'm as good as gold. I don't drink. I don't smoke. I would never force myself sexually on a blind person." - Sleeper
"He thinks the bad bush is between mama-san's legs." —FMJ
Luna: "Luna! Don't you remember? We were outlaws. Aliens! The police captured you, I escaped. I'm with the Underground. Remember! The Western District? Miles! I'm Luna! Luna! Remember! Luna!"
Miles: "Your name isn't Luna, is it?"
Sleeper
"Lawrence? Lawrence what, of Arabia? I don't like the name Lawrence. Only faggots and sailors are named Lawrence." —FMJ
"Many women can attest to having a loose vagina especially after going through childbirth. However, there are a few who have a naturally loose one without any issues.... However, before you dive into a deep sea of worry, you should consider...solutions such as vaginal tightening creams.... Every woman is in search of the best way to make the vagina tight."—"Do Vagina Tightening Creams Really Work?"
"An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, and a nose for a nose. I don't know what the hell that means, but it sounds brilliant." - Sleeper
"To summarize the summary of the summary: people are a problem." — Douglas Adams
" From the studio that inexplicably sewed his fucking mouth shut the first time comes five-time Academy Award viewer, Ryan Reynolds, in an eHarmony date with destiny. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... me! Deadpool." - Deadpool
"This thing emerged called Uber or Muber or whatever. But this issue is now finished. It's over now. Our Prime Minister made the announcement. We have our system of taxis." —Turkish President Erdogan
"I know, right? You're probably thinking, 'Whose balls did I have to fondle to get my very own movie'? I can't tell you his name, but it rhymes with 'Polverine.' [in an Australian accent] And let me tell you, he's got a nice pair of smooth criminals down under." - Deadpool
"Calmer than you." —TBL, seen on a decal of the back window of a Toyota Tacoma just now.
"Working in a coal mine, going down, down, down.
Working in a coal mine, whoops! about to slip down.
Course I make a little money.
Hauling coal by the ton.
But when Saturday rolls around.
Too tired for having fun."
—words and music, Allen Toussaint, hit for Lee Dorsey
"I had another Liam Neeson nightmare. I kidnapped his daughter and he just wasn't having it. They made three of those movies. At some point, you have to wonder if he's just a bad parent." - Deadpool
"Team work makes the dream work." —scrawled in chalk near the back entrance of "my" warehouse. BAD QUOTE! Maybe by writing it here I can get that stupid phrase out of my head, partly.
"—So, what do you like to do?
—Oh, I don't know. Play chess. Screw.
—Let's play chess!"
—Blazing Saddles
"Yeah, it's me, Deadpool, and I got an offer that you can't refuse. I'm gonna wait out here, okay? It's a big house. It's funny that I only ever see two of you. It's almost like the studio couldn't afford another X-Man." - Deadpool
"He hit Bunny! Get him, girls!" —Blazing Saddles
"A fourth-wall break inside a fourth-wall break? That's, like, sixteen walls." - Deadpool
"I asked for a spaghetti with marinara. What did I get? Egg noodles with ketchup." —Goodfellas
"You're probably thinking, 'My boyfriend said this was a superhero movie, but that guy in the suit just turned that other guy into a fucking kabab!' Well, I may be super, but I'm no hero. And yeah, technically, this is a murder. But some of the best love stories start with a murder. And that's exactly what this is, a love story. And to tell it right... I gotta take you back to long before I squeezed this ass into red spandex." - Deadpool
"Excuse me, while I whip this out." —Blazing Saddles
"Now, I'm about to do to you what Limp Bizkit did to music in the late '90s." - Deadpool
"If you don't move that shit out of my way, I'm going to fuck you in the ass, you goddamned twink son of a bitch." —unnamed warehouse worker
"Listen, the day I decide to become a crime-fighting shitswizzler, who rooms with a bunch of other little whiners at the Neverland Mansion of some creepy, old, bald, Heaven's Gate-looking motherfucker... on that day, I'll send your shiny, happy ass a friend request!" - Deadpool
"Listen, the judge don't give a shit about that. He's about to habitualize you. Is that what you want? You want to look at ten years? Tomorrow: I promise. But that means I got to pick you up tonight. Reggie. There ain't no two ways about it: you're going to spend the night in jail."—Jackie Brown
"Jesus fucking christ, here's some beer, there's some cigarettes, there's where you sleep. I don't want to be bothered at all. Just fucking figure it out." —unkn.
"Crime's the disease, meet the cure. Okay, not the cure, but more like a topical ointment to reduce the swelling and itch. Hi, Tom!" - Deadpool
"''Women just confuse me.' Women. Are they people, reptiles, food?" —The Room, commentary added by RiffTrax 55:22
"Here's what I'm actually gonna do. I'm gonna work through his crew until somebody gives up Francis, force him to fix this, and then put a bullet in his skull and fuck the brain hole." - Deadpool
"You had better start shitting me Tiffany cufflinks, or I will definitely fuck you up!" —Full Metal Jacket
"I'd go with you [on this suicide mission], but... I don't want to." - Deadpool
"Three. Three bullets. We play with three." —The Deerhunter
"You look like an avocado had sex with an older, more disgusting avocado... Not gently. Like it was hate-fucking. There was something wrong with the relationship and that was the only catharsis that they could find without violence... you gotta do something to remedy this because as of now, you only have one course of action... Star in your own horror films. Because you look like Freddy Krueger face-fucked a topographical map of Utah." - Deadpool
"No, you don't have gray hair, in fact it's very soft and full, wonderful head of hair. But yes, I can do something about the eyebrows." —barber
"Here, check it out. She's sending away for all these colorful clinic brochures. I'm sure they're all FDA-approved. Chechnya, isn't that where you go to get cancer? You got China and Central Mexico. You know how they say "cancer" in Spanish? El cancer." - Deadpool
"Got me flipping like a flag on a pole.
Come here, baby, let the good times roll."
—song, Earl King wrote it, maybe? Somebody.
Jesus christ, I'm starting to think I should watch Deadpool again -- I don't remember any of that shit, but it's highly amusing.
Yup, very raunchy, very violent and very funny.
"Wait! You may be wondering, 'Why the red suit?' Well, that's so bad guys can't see me bleed. This guy's got the right idea: he wore the brown pants." - Deadpool
"—Mr. Smith, I do not know what the job is.
—Right now, the job is to wait here."
—motion picture, Taken
"After a brief adjustment period and a bunch of drinks, it's a face... I'd be happy to sit on." - Deadpool
"We are, without reservations, on the side of excellence (rather than “newness”) and of honest intellectual combat (rather than conformity)."
—Billy Buckley, “Our Mission Statement," in National Review 19 November 1955
"Your right leg is Thanksgiving and your left leg is Christmas. Can I come and visit you between the holidays?" - Deadpool
"When she touched him, the savior didn't see
But still he turned around and cried 'somebody touched me'
She said 'it was I who just wanna touch the hem of your garment
I know I'll be made whole right now'"
—"Touch the Hem of His Garment," as sung by Sam Cooke
"Listen Al, if I never see you again, I want you to know that I love you very much. I also buried 1,600 kilos of cocaine somewhere in the apartment - right next to the cure for blindness. Good luck." - Deadpool