Say it sans "e" (you can, you know)

In Steve Martin's poignant and delightful book "The Pleasure of My Company", there is a marvelous description of how the narrator decides to complete an entire road trip uttering only phrases that do not use the letter "e". His success at this peculiar endeavor is charming, hilarious, and heartwarming.

Based on that book (which I highly recommend), here is a game: state a simple phrase, such as "I need to go to the toilet". The next poster must phrase the same sentiment without an e ("I need to go to the toilet" = "I must find a bathroom"), and suggest a challenge for the next poster.

Another example:

simple phrase - "I can't believe I ate that!"
same idea stated without an e - "I can't grok my consumption of that food."

Ready? Here's my challenge:

"I'm so embarrassed that I farted."

And the e-less version is ....????

Stinky gas from my bottom? My mood is so low now. :(

De-E this:
"Nuclear fusion is impossible, a pipedream"

Fusing atoms as a practical solution will only occur in Sandman's domain.

De-E: "Rule Britannia, Britannia rules the waves..."

PS: Nice game, Hatshepsut

That's a hard one for us non-Brits; to paraphrase Princess Bride, I'm not sure that line means what I think it means. But I'll try:

UK is triumphant; no tyrants from abroad can boss us around.

De-E: I'd like to ask her out, but I'm afraid she would reject me.

Cowardly I am, downwind from faith, for though I lust for this fair maid I can't simply ask for a show and a blowjob, for what if "no" confounds my loins?

De-E: I love the smell of napalm in the morning

Quote:

---

Originally posted by AllWalker

Cowardly I am, downwind from faith, for though I lust for this fair maid I can't simply ask for a show and a blowjob, for what if "no" confounds my loins?

---

That's AWESOME.

I'm joyous at odors of napalm in morning's light. (Alternatively, though it is a bit of a cheat: I <3 odors of napalm....)

De-E: Sorry, not tonight dear - I have a headache.

I cannot mon amour, not at this hour of night, for my skull pounds to the sound of a mighty drum.

De-E: Never mind the quantity, feel the quality.

Quote:

---

Originally posted by CatInASuit

I cannot mon amour, not at this hour of night, for my skull pounds to the sound of a mighty drum.

---

That is also awesome.

"Never mind the quantity, feel the quality" becomes the e-less: Think not of quantity, focus your soul on quality.

De-E: "To lose one parent is a tragedy; to lose two smacks of carelessness."

No mama, that's sad. No mama, no papa, that's not payin' no mind.

De-E: No man is a hero to his valet.

(VERY clever game!)

A boon companion and assistant will know just too much to worship his boss.

I was going to ask the next person to De-E "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country," but I realized it already lacks any "e"s! So:

De-E: I only regret that I have but one life to give for my country.

(I think this group should, as a group, do a follow-up book to Gasdby.)

I am only sorry that I claim as my own but a singular vital animation to lavish upon my country.


De-E: In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.

All folks pay Boss Man. All folks nap in dirt. All.

DE-E: When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life.

A man who shows no joy at London's sights has lost his will to grab satisfaction from anything.


De-e: One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.

A small footfall for man, a giant jump for humanity.

De-e: Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.

Float as a wingly worm, sting as a good colony work girl.

(I am a good work... guy) :D

De-E:
When bored, I like to visit my friends at Mellophant.

If casting about for distraction, I'm happy to visit pals at Bo's Board.

De-E: The teen years can be a difficult yet rewarding time for parents.

Kids just shy of adulthood can try, but also bring joy, to folk who brought said offspring into this world.

De-E: I wouldn't want to be a member of any club that would have me.

Why would I want to join a club that would allow humans of my standard in? Obviously this club is sub-par.

De-E: I have nothing to declare except my genius.

Amazing am I, O Customs man, and thus shall I say to all who might want to know!

De-E: If I were your husband, madam, I would drink it.

For marrying you, lady, I say: pass that poison this way.

De-E: Yes, Simba, but let me explain. When we die, our bodies become the grass, and the antelope eat the grass. And so we are all connnected in the great Circle of Life.

No doubt, Simba, but allow your dad to confirm for you. On dying our mortal souls transform into grass, and mammals that lions hunt chomp said grass. And so all is unity in a mighty Ring of Biology.

De-E: Something tells me we haven't seen the last of foreshadowing.

All signs point to additional hints of coming plot twists thrust at us again and again.

De-E: If I've got that kind of power over time and space, what the hell am I doing here talking to a loser like you at 3 in the morning?

(Context, in case it's useful: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OEdRi3-4eE0)

(Great SNL fake ad. I miss Phil Hartman!).

If I could do such amazing things, chronologically and spatially, why would I talk to idiots such as you from two to four a.m. on any morning?

De-E: I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.

I do, without flippancy, vow (or affirm) that I will faithfully carry out all functions of Main Honcho of this Nation, and will to my utmost capacity, guard, uphold and sustain its Constitution.

De-E: But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate -- we can not consecrate -- we can not hallow -- this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract.

Our words don't sanctify this ground. Our warriors did.

De-E:

In the wee small hours of the morning, while the whole wide world is fast asleep, you lie awake, and think about the girl, and never even think of counting sheep.

In budding dawn, your thoughts stay on a girl without a lust for aid from ovids.

De-E: Heat not a furnace for your foe so hot that it do singe yourself.

If you toy with wrath, wanting to punish bad folk in a scorching hot box, you may only, finally, burn that man in your mirror.

De-E: Americans like nothing about culture so much as their speedy departure from it.

US folks think most happily about high-falutin' art and stuff at that instant of hasty withdrawal from it.

De-E: I came, I saw, I conquered.

I did go forward, took all into my sight, and lo, triumph was my lot.

De-E: Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship....

That cosmic void, that last boundary. Hark you to all forays of our starship...

De-E: We shall go on to the end. We shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be.

Us as a group shall go on to a finality. Fighting on that mainland, fighting on big ponds, fighting with big opinions of our group and big might in air, our group shall stop bad guys coming to our island, with no thought to costs.

De-E: One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.

This ring only to command all rings, this ring only to find all, this ring only to gather all rings and in pitch blackness bind all.

De-E: It's a Sicilian message. It means Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes.

This, my boy, is how Sicilians say, "Luca Brasi is having a long, long nap in aquatic surroundings."

De-E: Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

Forty two plus forty four autumns ago (no, that’s wrong – add a small bit so it’s odd), our dads and granddads brought forth on this land an additional country, thought of without constraints and insuring, or trying to, that all humanity is without distinction in applying its laws.

De-E: Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as if they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday.

It's Monday. On Sunday, I thought, my tribulations stay far! Now, I think pain and sorrow hold constant. My faith is in Sunday.

De-E: Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.

Quote:

---

Originally posted by OneCentStamp

This ring only to command all rings, this ring only to find all, this ring only to gather all rings and in pitch blackness bind all.

---

Wow, I was awful in this try. On two occasions, I did drop that fifth sigil that Carol forbad us. I will try again, still trying to maintain that original rhythm. :fail:

This ring only to command all rings, this ring only to find all, this ring only to join all rings and in black shadow bind all.

Quote:

---

Originally posted by artifex

De-E: Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.

---

Gay old Oscar said that folks shoot straight if and only on condition of anonymity.

De-E: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

If I swallow your fibs on a solitary occasion, I am a fool, and you bring dishonor upon you. But if I swallow your fibs again, I am truly at fault.

De-E: Democracy is the worst form of government, except for all the others which we have tried from time to time.

Lordship by mass opinion sucks, but only if not along all lordships that occur now and again.

De-E: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Not so good day to you, cur. Inigo Montoya am I. Kill my dad, would you? It is your turn to croak now.

De-E: In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth; and the earth was without form, and void.

And lo, God did split nothing, making his nirvana aloof to a land; but this land was as nothing, a void of darkness.

De-E: Never in the field of human conflict has so much been owed, by so many, to so few.

Quote:

---

Originally posted by CatInASuit

And lo, God did split nothing, making his nirvana aloof to a land; but this land was as nothing, a void of darkness.

---

:D

Only now, in this war of all wars, will such a lot of civilian folk thank not many combatants at all for so much.

De-E: The square on the hypotenuse is equal to the sum of the squares on the other two sides.

a^2 + b^2 = c^2
;)

De-E: Jehovah, we have been down to Adam and Eve and their posterity in the Telestial World, and have cast Satan out of their midst.

God, mankind (Original Sin and all) got a visit from us to humanity's world to banish Old Nick promptly to his sub-global Pit.

De-E: We are the Borg. Resistance is futile. Prepare to be assimilated.

Borg? That's us. Fighting back will do you no good. And soon you will join us, too.

De-E: I regret that I have but one life to give for my country.

Gladly I would pass away again and again for my country. Sucks that I cannot.

De-E: What happens to a dream deferred? Does it dry up like a raisin in the sun? Or fester like a sore - And then run? Does it stink like rotten meat? Or crust and sugar over - like a syrupy sweet?

Nathan H. had but only a solitary soul to drop for his country, but thanks to our pal His Honor, has now lost it again. :D :D

D'oh! Well, at least someone else had a chance to take a stab at it.

What of an idyll put off too long? Will it dry like a raisin in the sun? Or turn nasty like a wound - and perhaps run? Will it stink as bad animal chunks do? Or crust and sugar over, as a syrupy yummy thing might?

De-E: With the coming of the Second World War, many eyes in imprisoned Europe turned hopefully, or desperately, toward the freedom of the Americas. Lisbon became the great embarkation point.

World War starting up again. Nazis soon going to run things from Poland to Atlantic, so runaways go to USA, or Brazil or Colombia if no option, by way of Portugal's primary city and port.

De-E:
O, East is East and West is West, and never the twain shall meet
Till Earth and Sky stand presently at God's great Judgment seat;
But there is neither East nor West, breeding nor blood nor birth
When two strong men stand face to face, though they come from the ends of the Earth!